Reading: Matthew 14:22-23

Verse 23: “He went up on a mountainside by himself to pray.”

The first two verses of this week’s gospel lesson are a microcosm, a snapshot. Most often they are verses that we read and understand, but do not sit with. These two verses give a wonderful insight into Jesus’ humanity – and into ours.

After healing all day and then feeding the 5,000 Jesus sends the disciples off in the boat and then he dismisses the crowd. He is making time for what he needed to do before the huge crowd arrived. Jesus makes time to mourn the loss of his cousin and fellow prophet. In verse 23 we read, “He went up on a mountainside by himself to pray.” Going up the mountain is God-speak for finding time alone with God. For Jesus, going up the mountain is time to connect with God, just as it was for Moses and Elijah.

Caring for immediate needs can defer grieving. It happens to many of us when we lose a loved one. The immediate and necessary tasks of writing an obituary, of planning and attending a funeral… they consume our attention and energy, much as the healing and feeding of the crowd did for Jesus. This was the divine Jesus in action. Then the human Jesus needed care. He needed time and space to mourn and to be with God in that grieving. Jesus honored his grief. In our times of loss may we follow this example too.

Prayer: Lord God, it can be tempting to defer or ignore our grief. The initial days of autopilot, of getting necessary things done, they can trick us. When that flurry passes, remind us of the intentional choice that Jesus made. Draw us into your peace and consolation, for there we begin to find real healing. Amen.