pastorjohnb

Thoughts and musings on faith and our mighty God!

Tag Archives: doubt


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Forever with Them

Reading: John 20: 19-23

Verse 19: As the Father has sent me, I am sending you.

It has been quite a week for the disciples.  There was the big splash of the triumphal entry on what we call Palm Sunday.  It seemed as if everyone in Jerusalem was out there supporting Jesus.  But right after the parade Jesus again speaks of His coming death – but it oddly seems closer now.  Jesus teaches through the week and clashes with the Jewish authorities – seemed like a pretty ordinary week.  Until Thursday night.  They set up to celebrate the Passover and Jesus washes the disciples’ feet.  He speaks of them becoming like servants too.  Among other words, Jesus again promises them the Holy Spirit and explains some of what the ‘Counselor’ will do for them.  Then, in a whirlwind of activity, Jesus is arrested, tried, and crucified.  Suddenly their world is turned upside down.  Their leader is gone and they fear for their lives.  Hope died on that cross.  They have seen the empty tomb and have heard Mary Magdalene tell of seeing the risen Lord.

But this night the disciples remain huddled together, hidden behind locked doors “for fear of the Jews”.  Doubt and fear and grief and confusion had to be swirling in their heads.  And then Jesus comes to them.  He opens with, “Peace be with you”.  He shows them His hands and His side.  In mere seconds, the disciples’ mindset changes drastically.  Again Jesus offers them peace then says,  “As the Father has sent me, I am sending you”.  More than one probably thought back to the cross and wondered about being sent out into the world.  Next Jesus breathes the Holy Spirit into and into them.  In His presence, with His breathe covering them, they must have physically felt the Holy Spirit enter them.  Doubt and fear and… must have vanished in an instant.

These disciples will go out and spread the good news of Jesus Christ far and wide.  They will speak with power and authority.  All will give their lives for their faith.  The Holy Spirit allowed the disciples to live out their faith without any fear of this world and without any fear of death.  They knew that Jesus Christ was forever with them.  May we follow their example as we live out our faith today and every day.


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Resurrection Faith

Reading: Acts 2: 29-32

Verse 32: God has raised Jesus to life, and we are all witnesses of the fact.

God had promised David that one from his line would rule forever.  In the world where kings come and go, where power struggles are a real threat, this promise required a great deal of faith to believe.  Even in David’s reign, there were several who tried to sieze power from him.  So to hold onto this promise too a great deal of faith.  David had such a faith.  He held onto his absolute trust in God.  Forever is a long time, but there was an unshakable trust that David had in God.

For Peter, his faith had been shaken.  He has just been restored from the denial of knowing Christ.  He has been anointed the “Rock” upon which the church will be built.  But Peter has had those days when doubt and fear has crept in, just as David had and just as we do.  No human being is immune to doubt and fear and anxiety and worry.  For Peter, in those days after Jesus died, there must have been huge doubts.  But the resurrection came and his doubts about Christ were washed away.  But after the resurrection, there must have been great fear… – he had denied the Lord three times.  And Jesus restores him from this too.  Peter was beginning to see through new eyes.  He was beginning to see with eyes full of hope and faith.  He realized that God had been at work all along.  This too is the faith that David lived within.  It is the faith we are called to live in too.

Just as David had seen the eternity of the Messiah, Peter now understood God’s will for all of creation: forgiveness of sin and life eternal.  These are God’s gifts​.  Through the cross, Jesus defeated the power of sin.  Through the grave, Jesus defeated the power of death.  God’s will is to offer these gifts to all who call on Christ as Lord and Savior.  Once we do this and place our hope and trust in Him, we too will understand what Peter knew.  Christ came to save the world and will come again to restore all of creation.  It is God’s gift to you and to me, to all of creation.  May we, like David and Peter, claim this gift, this inheritance, and begin to live out our resurrection faith each day.  Verse 32 reads, “God has raised Jesus to life, and we are all witnesses of the fact”.  May we live as witnesses today!


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God’s Plan

Reading: 1 Samuel 16: 1-5

1 Samuel 16:4 – Samuel did what the Lord said.

As a prophet of God, at times Samuel has brought words that were tough for the person or people to hear.  The results of Samuel’s words are not often positive.  The Holy Spirit works much the same way in our lives.  When we sin the Spirit quickly convicts us and forces a change in us.  When the elders of Bethlehem see Samuel approaching, they are cautious and guarded.  They are straight forward in the conversation: “Do you come in peace?” is their opening line with Samuel.  ‘Yes and no’ would be the honest answer.

King Saul is not happy with Samuel.  Samuel has very recently told Saul that God has rejected him as king.  Initially, when God tells Samuel to go to Bethlehem, Samuel is fearful.  So too are the elders.  What might Samuel be doing in their town?  Will Saul punish them for having Samuel there?  Or worse?  At times we too are put to the test.  At times our faith leads us to follow God’s will into places and situations that bring up fear or doubt or that may have a cost to us.  Doing what is right or speaking the truth sometimes creates conflict or ruffles feathers.

God has a plan.  He answers Samuel’s fears and Samuel heads off to do God’s work.  Samuel voiced his concern to God and God responded.  This is what we are called to do as well.  God desires an open and honest relationship with us too.  So when we feel doubt or fear or lack of trust, we need to bring this to God.  When we are unsure of where to go or of how to proceed, we need to go to God in prayer, to seek God’s plan.  Like Samuel, God will lead us past our fear, our doubt, our concerns.  Like Samuel, we must call on God alone and we must fully rely on God’s plan, knowing that God is in control of all things and that God has good plans for us.

“Samuel did what the Lord said”.  May we follow Samuel’s example.


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The Struggle

Reading: Exodus 17: 1-3

Leading up to today’s story, the Israelites have had quite a relationship with God.  After hundreds of years in slavery, God hears their cries and delivers them from bondage.  In the process, they witness ten miracles that lead to their release.  The final miracle is so amazing that it becomes an annual festival that celebrates God’s saving act: Passover.  Then, just as all seems lost again, God parts the sea, the Israelites cross over, and the pursuing army is destroyed.  Shortly thereafter God provides manna each day and quickly follows that up with quail for meat.  The people have seen blessing after blessing after blessing.  In this way, many of our lives are like this.  God blesses us in so many ways.  We too can look back and see where God’s hand has been at work in our lives.  Maybe we too should have a rock-solid relationship with God, walking hand in hand all the time.

But if we delve a little deeper into the Exodus story, we see another side of the Israelites that we probably recognize in ourselves as well.  The Israelites liked the idea of freedom but grumbled to God when Pharaoh’s reaction was harsh. Then they tasted freedom, only to grumble about starving to death in the desert.  They next complain about water and God leads them to a spring.  They complain about food and long for Egypt and God provides.  The pattern is pretty consistent.  Instead of God’s miracles leading to deeper faith, the Israelites continue to show a lack of faith and trust time after time.

If we fast forward to today, the struggle continues.  Today the sense of community has largely been replaced by rugged individualism.  Instead of grumbling to one another, we simply put our heads down and try to forge a way forward.  We grip the wheel a little tighter.  And often as a last resort, we turn to God.  We look back on the people that God called ‘stiff-necked’ and wonder why they couldn’t trust God after all He brought them through.  Then we see a mirror and realize we are much the same.  We cling to control.  We too allow doubt and fear to creep in.  We too struggle to trust and to live by faith.

Acknowledging it is the first step.  Releasing control is next.  Lord God, help me to yield all to You.  Grow in me the trust that allows You to fully lead my life.  Please.


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Living Worthy, Speaking Truth

Reading: 2 Timothy 4: 16-18

On this day, many will gather for worship.  Some will be like the tax collector, coming humbly before God, knowing they too are a sinner, seeking God’s grace.  Others will come like it’s an obligation, thinking they are already ‘there’, no real need for God, full of judgment for the worship and those all around them.  Paul connects to both of these – once a Pharisee but now a sinner saved by God’s grace.

As Paul closes his second letter to Timothy, he is near the end of his journey.  He can look back over his ministry for Jesus and can see how the Lord has been by his side, giving him the strength and protection he needed.  Paul has always sought the next lost soul, always working to connect a fellow sinner to the only one who can save – Jesus Christ.  Along the way Paul has faced many mockers, doubters, judges, critics, skeptics, …  Paul has remained steadfast to his mission to proclaim the good news of Jesus Christ.

We have much in common with Paul.  Each if us has had our share of sin in our life and we continue to wrestle with temptation and sin.  We too have experienced God’s redeeming grace over and over.  We too live in a secular society that often questions, derides, doubts, and challenges our faith.  Our loyalty to God and God’s Word will be put to the test.  And just as Paul experienced time and time again, God will stand beside us and God will give us all we need to remain steadfast.  God will protect us and guide us through the storms of life.  God is faithful and true.

Living a life worthy of our calling and speaking the truths of God is something we cannot do on our own.  But when we are steadfast and faithful, God will be present and will lead the way.  God will go before us each day, guiding us and filling us with just what we need.  Today, may we live as a faithful follower of Jesus Christ, bringing all the glory and honor to the Lord our God.


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Ever Present

Reading: Psalm 30

Psalm 30 is an excellent representation of our journey of faith.  It begins with praise to God for the protection and healing that He gave.  At times in our lives we definitely sense a hedge about us that God is providing.  Our “foes” rise up against us and we feel as if we may fall, yet we do not quite topple or give in.  In the midst of it we can sense God’s hand upon us.  Or perhaps, looking back, we can see where God came to our rescue.

At times in life, though, we can also question where God is.  We cannot sense His presence and He seems absent in our struggles.  As the psalmist writes, “You his your face, I was dismayed”.  We can all recall such times in our lives.  The writer’s solution?  Cry out and pray to God anyway.  Earnestly seek to be in God’s presence even when He feels far away.  Even in our seasons or ‘dark nights of the soul’ God is still present.

Midway through, in verse five, we are reminded that God’s favor is for a lifetime.  Once we enter into that saving relationship, we are forever His.  In this verse we are reminded that joy will come in the morning.  The writer returns to this theme in verse 11.  Because of God’s unfailing love, He turns our mourning into joy and dancing.  The response is praise and thanksgiving to God.  This response is the same as when it feels He is absent: seek Him through prayer and worship.

Faith is a journey.  These times of feeling that God is absent can lead to doubt, which is a normal part of our faith journey.  These times reveal our human limitations.  God is omnipresent.  In our struggles, it is we who question the fact of an omnipresent God.  Like the psalmist, may we too pray through the silence and may we ever offer our thanksgiving and worship for the grace, love, and favor that never ends.


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Transitions

2 Kings 2: 1-2 and 6-14

Transitions are hard.  They create stress.  In our modern world, which moves at such pace, transitions are all too common.  Be they in our families, at work, or within our circle of friends, transitions often occur.

Elijah and Elisha are preparing for a transition.  Elijah has been God’s lead prophet for Israel.  He has spoken the truth to kings, often in fear for his life.  And now it is soon Elisha’s turn to take up the mantel, to carry the load.  Many, including Elisha himself, are wondering if he is able to continue the difficult work of Elijah.

We too have all come to a similar crossroads.  We find change occurring in our lives and we wonder if we are up to the new task at hand.  Points such as our first real job, our moving to a new stage in our education, and our getting married all bring us to the point of asking ourselves if we are prepared for this next step.  Others around us are probably thinking the same thing.

After Elijah is taken up, Elisha picks up his cloak and walks over to the edge of the Jordan.  As he prepares to cross back over, before touching the water, he invites God’s presence in.  As the cloak touches the water, the waters part as they had for Elijah, and Elisha crossed over.  The prophets gathered just a ways away probably let out a collective sigh or maybe even cheered.

As we come to similar junctions in our lives may we also invite God into our situation.  May we too rely on His presence to be with us.  And may we also step out in faith, trusting that God will go before.


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Hope in God

Reading: Psalm 42: 9-11

Doubt is a part of faith.  For some believers, faith is usually able to conquer doubt.  For all, however, at times doubt rises up and pushed our faith down.  We have all experienced times when doubt has gotten the best of us and we find it hard to call on our faith.  Part of us knows that God is always present and near us, yet we, like the psalmist, will have times when the bigger part of us feels as if God has forgotten about us.  This often occurs in times of personal struggle.

Doubt can also be cast upon us from the outside world.  When we hear of tragedies such as the recent mass shooting or the actions of ISIS or 9/11 type events, we naturally ask the “Why” question and wonder where God is in the midst of it all.  God is found nowhere in the evil of such horrific events, but He is near to some of the victims and then God is definitely near in the soon-to-follow outpouring of prayers and other forms of love and support.

Life will bring times or even seasons where we doubt.  Close relatives fear and anxiety also visit us from time to time.  Yet the presence of God can be a constant to us, even in times when doubt, fear, and anxiety are present.  Like the psalmist, may we too put our hope in God, knowing that we too shall soon praise God again.


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On Our Side

Job’s journey of faith parallels ours in some ways.  In his interactions with his friends and even with God, he is stubborn, defiant, and even borders on obnoxious early on in the book.  Although overall Job is steadfast in his faith, maybe at this point it is a little immature.  At times our faith is too.  At times we are questioning or angry or defiant about something that is occurring in our life; we too question and ask why.  We openly ask where God is even though a part of us senses He is always there.

At the end of the book we see a different faith in Job.  He is humble, truthful, grateful.  Although he would never want to experience a trial like that again, he knows he is a better follower because of his experience.  He sees the foolishness of questioning God and doubting His constant presence.  Job has felt an intimacy with God that both yields and comes with a mature faith.  As life weathers and shapes us, we too become more mature in our faith and in our relationship with God.  Like Job, our experiences, both good and bad, shape who we are as a follower of God.

From Job we learn a valuable lesson: God is on our side.  At times, and particularly in hard times, we may want to question, to doubt, or may even want to curse.  In these times we must trust that God is good and above all else, He loves us.  In these times may we trust in and live into the words of Christ: not my will, but Your will.  God of love, be with us this day.

Scripture reference: Job 42: 1-6


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He Continues to Call

The disciples struggled to understand Jesus a lot of the time.  He often had to explain His parables and teachings to them.  They often said and did things that must have puzzled or maybe angered Jesus.  When Jesus instructed them to feed the crowd or to heal people they didn’t think they could really do that.  The disciples are a lot like us.

Today we in the church struggle with similar things.  Many will not take on some responsibility.  We just want to come on Sunday and worship and go home.  Many fear others who are different.  We just want to sit in our same pew and talk to the same people.  Many think of ministry to engage in but they are stuck in fear.  We don’t like risk and maybe we think we are not up to the task after all.  Many just want things to be nice and the same and comfortable.  We don’t ask the hard questions and we do not desire to pursue a deeper faith.

As we read the Bible or hear the stories at church we often wonder how the disciples did not ‘get it’.  We think it is so plain to see what Jesus meant and what He expected of them and knew they could do.  Yet in spite of their many failures, their lack of trust, and their petty arguing, Jesus never gave up on them.  He faithfully continued to pour into them, to teach them, to mold them.  In the end, the disciples accomplished some amazing things.  They built a church.

The good news is that He does not give up on us either.  Through what we read in the word, through the messages we hear, through the voice of the Holy Spirit – He continues to call us to live out our faith and to grow into the person God created us to be.  Like the disciples, sometimes we doubt.  We think maybe Jesus is looking for someone else or when we hear the testimony of someone for whom God has made a difference, we think Jesus wouldn’t do something like that in our life.  At times we are just like the disciples.  We question, we doubt, we fear.  Yet Jesus never gives up.  He wants us to have abundant life, free from fear and worry.  He continues to call.  In faith, may we follow Him.

Scripture reference: Mark 9: 30-34