pastorjohnb

Thoughts and musings on faith and our mighty God!

Tag Archives: struggle


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Comparing and Contrasting

Reading: Matthew 20:1-16

Matthew 20:12 – “These who were hired last worked one hour, and they received the same pay as we did even though we had to work the whole day in the hot sun.”

We end our week with the parable of the workers in the vineyard. The story begins with a landowner hiring workers at 6 am. It is harvest time, so extra workers are needed. He agrees to pay them a denarion for a day’s labor – 12 hours. As work progresses throughout the day, the landowner keeps thinking he needs a few more workers to complete the harvest. So at 9 am, noon, 3 pm, and even at 5 pm he hires more workers. The landowner agrees to pay each group “whatever is right.” Some will work 9 hours, some 6, some 3, and some will work just 1 hour.

The work day ends and the landowner instructs his manager to give the workers their wages – starting with those who worked one hour. They and everybody else receives a denarion. Only the workers who actually agreed to work for a denarion are upset about their pay. They grumble against the landowner, saying, “These who were hired last worked one hour, and they received the same pay as we did even though we had to work the whole day in the hot sun.” This seems so unfair, so unjust in their minds.

At times we too can struggle with the grace, generosity, love… that God gives to others. By comparison we think we are more faithful, harder working, and, therefore, are more deserving of these free gifts from God. We grumble – always to ourselves and sometimes to God – about how unfair or unjust it all is. In these moments, may we remember that we are all on our own unique journeys of faith and that we all receive just what we need from our loving, generous, good God.

Prayer: Lord God, in those moments when we are tempted to compare and contrast ourselves with others, remind us first that we have an audience of one: you. And then remind us, O God, of the abundant love, grace, mercy, and more that you abundantly pour into our lives. Amen.


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Seeking God – Regularly

Reading: Psalm 105:1-6 and 37-45

Psalm 105:4 – “Pursue the Lord and his strength; seek his face always!”

Photo credit: Rainier Ridao

Psalm 105 spans a vast swath of Israel’s history. The author recounts God’s acts on Israel’s behalf from the time of Abraham through their entry into the Promised Land. The Psalm, however, does not recount every act of God recorded in the scriptures. In this Psalm we find more of a highlight reel. Our remembrance of God’s activity in our life usually works the same way. We quickly recall the big blessings and the great rescues. But when we put in some effort, when we really reflect on our journey of faith, we realize that there are many more times when God became present to us – many more than on our highlight reel.

In the second half of our reading, the psalmist recounts the time just after the final plague through Joshua leading Israel through the Jordan River. The author also recalls the manna and quail and the water from a rock. These are but four of many times that God was present and active during their time in the wilderness. The psalmist does not include the golden calf and other rebellion, grumbling, and complaining. If we told our whole story of faith, we’d have stories like these too. The times of sin, of no faith, of struggle – all parts of our journey that shape and form us into who God created us to be.

Verses 1-6 are mostly about praising God for all that God has done for Israel. But tucked in these verses is a great encouragement: “Pursue the Lord and his strength; seek his face always!” In life, we naturally do this in the highs and lows. But life is mostly lived in between. So we need to be intentional about pursuing and seeking God regularly. We pursue God by creating times and places set apart for daily time with God. It can be a quiet time in the morning. It can be worship on Sunday. We seek God by being intentional about pausing at moments throughout our day to reflect on God’s presence in that day. Maybe it is a quick moment of thanksgiving before your meals. Maybe it is on the commute. May we all be intentional about pursuing and seeking the Lord our God.

Prayer: Lord God, we praise you for the many ways that you have been with your people through the ages. And we praise you and offer our thanksgiving for your involvement in our daily lives. Lead and guide us to see you often, bringing us to spontaneous moments of praise. Amen.


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Extravagant Forgiveness

Reading: Matthew 18:21-35

Matthew 18:26 – “Please be patient with me, and I’ll pay you back.”

Photo credit: Ben White

Our gospel story begins with what Peter thought was a generous offer of forgiveness. The number Peter placed on forgiving was seven times. The accepted norm in the Jewish religion was four. But Jesus’ response blows Peter’s offer out of the water. Jesus expands forgiveness, telling Peter that we must forgive up to 77 times. This is an extravagant amount of forgiveness – one so vast that we really cannot wrap our heads around it. To illustrate the need to forgive again and again and again and… Jesus tells a story. He begins with these words: “The kingdom of heaven is like…”

One day the king starts settling accounts. A servant is brought before him that owes “ten thousand bags of gold.” This would be worth millions upon millions of dollars today – a vast amount of money. The servant falls down and begs, saying, “Please be patient with me, and I’ll pay you back.” The king shoots right past patience, landing instead on compassion. The debt is forgiven. This extravagant amount of forgiveness is one we struggle to wrap our head around. It is almost unimaginable.

This man then goes out and runs into a fellow servant that owes him 100 coins – a relatively very, very small amount. He harshly demands repayment. The servant falls down and begs, saying, “Please be patient with me, and I’ll pay you back.” There is no patience. The second servant is thrown into jail. It’s hard labor until the debt is repaid. Their fellow servants are “deeply offended.” The king is informed and he hauls the first servant back in. He is reprimanded for his lack of grace and is thrown into debtor’s prison, basically forever. Jesus brings the story home with this reminder: “My heavenly father will also do the same with you if you don’t forgive a brother or sister from the heart.” Yes, Lord. May we be people of grace and forgiveness.

Prayer: Lord God, we experience such grace from you. We should be gushing grace back out into the world. Yet as abundant as your grace is with us, we can be pretty stingy with ours. Lord, open our hearts to the generosity of grace that is demanded in the kingdom of heaven as it is here on earth. Thank you. Amen.


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I AM Is with Us

Reading: Matthew 14:22-27

Matthew 14:27 – “Be encouraged! It’s me. Don’t be afraid.”

Turning to our gospel lesson, Jesus has just fed 5,000 men plus women and children. His focus returns to why he originally came to this deserted place: to grieve the beheading of John the Baptist. And perhaps to wrestle with his coming fate as his hour too draws near. Jesus sends the disciples across the lake in a boat and then dismisses the crowd. Finally alone, he ascends the mountain to pray. Jesus spends the night in prayer.

The disciples spent the night battling a storm. Maybe there was some praying going on in the boat too. We read that very early in the morning, Jesus came to the disciples, walking in the water. In the storm, the waves, the early morning light, the disciples think Jesus is a ghost. Only God walks on the waters. They are “terrified.” Responding to their fear, Jesus shouts out, “Be encouraged! It’s me. Don’t be afraid.” Do not fear – the power and presence of God almighty is here with you. Take courage – you are not alone. I AM is with you.

In times of sorrow and grief, in moments of fear and doubt, in situations where we are unsure or paralyzed, may we do as the human Jesus did: pray to God. Get alone if necessary and enter into a time of honest conversation with God. And in the storms of life, in the long hours of struggle, in the days of oppression or addiction or abuse, may we trust in what the disciples came to know: I AM is with us. God is always here. God’s power and presence are always with us. Thanks be to God!

Prayer: Lord God, draw us into your sure and strong presence. In times when we feel powerless, pour out your power. In moments when we feel alone, pour out your abiding Spirit. Lead us and guide us, protect us, and provide a way. Thank you, Lord. Amen.


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Abiding Presence, Ongoing Work

Reading: Genesis 32:25-31

Genesis 32:31 – “The sun rose as Jacob passed Peniel, limping because of his thigh.”

Photo credit: Timo Volz

Continuing in Genesis 32 today, the “man” cannot defeat Jacob, who refuses to quit. Even after God injures Jacob’s hip, he wrestles on. Jacob must sense some purpose in this encounter. So as dawn nears and God again asks Jacob to let go, he responds, “I won’t let go until you bless me.” God blesses Jacob with a new name, symbolizing the change within. All of his life, Jacob has struggled with God. After this personal encounter, seeing God “face-to-face,” Jacob has been “saved.” Saved from selfishness and pride, Jacob can see and live beyond himself. As our passage closes, we read, “The sun rose as Jacob passed Peniel, limping because of his thigh.”

The band I AM THEY wrote a song called “Scars.” The first two verses read, “Waking up to a new sunrise, Looking back from the other side, I can see now with open eyes… Darkest water and deepest pain, I wouldn’t trade it for anything, ‘Cause my brokenness brought me to You, And these wounds are a story You’ll use.” These words remind us that, like Jacob, God works in and through our struggles. Sometimes there is deep pain and hurt. But afterwards, looking back, we can see how God changed us, transformed us. For Jacob, his limp was a tangible reminder, yes of the wrestling, but more so of the transformation. Our scars, whether physical or emotional or spiritual, remind us too of God’s abiding presence and ongoing work in our lives. As the lyrics of the chorus thank God for the scars and the reminders of who God is, may we also rejoice in God’s deliverance, victory, and transformation through the struggles.

Prayer: Lord God, while we’d never choose the struggle while in the middle of it, we can look back and see your plan, your purpose, at work. We can also see how we were changed and how we grew in our relationship with you. Thank you for your faithfulness, especially as we are often less than we should be in the struggle. And thank you for never leaving us there when we need you most. Amen.


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Always Seeking to Deliver

Reading: Romans 7:15-25

Romans 7:21 – “So I find that, as a rule, when I want to do what is good, evil is right there with me.”

At the end of chapter 7, Paul describes his own struggle to do and be good in the world. He often does the things he hates to do. In his mind, he knows God’s Law is just and good and right. If it were up to his mind, he’d do all the good stuff: worship God, love neighbor, meet the needs of the poor… But he just can’t quite…

In verse 21 Paul writes, “So I find that, as a rule, when I want to do what is good, evil is right there with me.” Have you found this to be true in your life? That fleshy part of you – that part that just wants pleasure, that part that easily turns to pride and judging, that part always seeking to elevate self to the throne – that fleshy part is always pulling you away from holy, God-pleasing living. Paul chooses the word “war.” And in those moments when he feels like he is totally losing the “war” – it is then that Paul feels like a “miserable human being.” Ever felt this way? Ever allowed sin to win and you instantly see how it hurt someone you love?

Paul correctly realizes two things in verses 24 and 25. First, on his own, his fate is “dead corpse.” Ouch. Second, and most importantly, he realizes that Jesus Christ is his deliverer. Jesus is always with us too, always fighting for us in Spirit, always seeking to deliver us from temptation and sin. Through Jesus Christ, we will have the victory over sin and death. Thanks be to God!

Prayer: Lord God, the power of evil is strong and pervasive. It runs rampant in our world. All sorts of messaging, people, and situations draw us to sin. We need you Lord. Desperately. Be the constant voice too, calling us to good and holy living. Empower and equip us, O God, to live by your will and ways. Amen.


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Rest, Peace, Hope

Reading: Matthew 11:27-30

Matthew 11:29 – “Put on my yoke, and learn from me. I’m gentle and humble. And you will find rest for yourselves.”

Finishing out our gospel reading for this week, Jesus first claims authority over all things. He declares, “My Father has handed all things over to me.” God has empowered Jesus to be over all things, to have power over all of creation. Jesus then invites you and me to be a part of his kingdom, part of this creation, saying, “Come to me…” Come and experience my power. Come and experience my love. Come and live under my authority. Come and find rest, hope, peace.

In the rest of verse 28 Jesus names two of humanity’s realities. Many people are “struggling hard and carrying heavy burdens.” For many people, they struggle through a paycheck-to-paycheck existence, making choices between necessities. Others struggle through addictions and others struggle against injustice and others with abuse or violence. Many people are carrying heavy burdens – financial, emotional, relational, physical. For some of these folks, the burdens are their own to try to carry. For others, they carry burdens for those they love. These realities, especially in combination, can make us feel exhausted, overwhelmed, and/or defeated.

To these folks and really to us all, Jesus says, “Put on my yoke, and learn from me. I’m gentle and humble. And you will find rest for yourselves.” Jesus invites us all to give our lives to him, to enter into a relationship, to know his love. He invites us to really get to know him, to study his words and his way of life. In exchange, Jesus gives us rest. Walking in Jesus’ way of love, we grow to trust our burdens and struggles to him. He walks with us, lifting some of the struggle, some of the burden – enough so that we can find some rest. Jesus gently and humbly leads us, bringing renewal, life, rest, hope, and peace. Thank you, Lord Jesus.

Prayer: Lord God, how we need you! This life, even on a good day, can be hard and difficult. Add in limited finances or challenges with health or other factors, and life can feel heavy and hopeless. If this is our reality, Lord, help us to choose you and the peace, hope, and rest that you offer. If this is not our reality, use us to reveal Jesus’ love and way to others as we seek to walk alongside people in need of rest, hope, and peace. Thank you, God. Amen.


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Like a Shepherd with Sheep

Reading: Psalm 23:1-3

Psalm 23:3 – “He [God] guides me in proper paths, for the sake of his good name.”

Psalm 23 is a psalm of trust in God’s love and care. This very well-known passage brings comfort in times of grief or doubt. It offers reassurance in times of worry and stress. It reminds us of God’s good plans and provision in times of need. We begin today with the first few verses, which lean into the metaphor of God as our shepherd.

Verse 1 reminds us that because God is a good shepherd, we lack nothing. This is NOT to say that God gives us everything we want. It is to say that God provides what we need. There is a wide gulf between want and need. We struggle with this difference when greed, envy, selfishness, and more raise their ugly heads. We very much need God’s power and presence to lead us through these inner battles.

In struggles such as these, our God guides us to times and places where we find rest, peace, and stillness. Here we encounter God’s presence. In these moments we are renewed and encouraged. We are prepared and equipped to move forward. Perhaps most importantly, in these moments we are assured that God’s love, care, provision, and protection go with us as a shepherd with sheep.

We read, “He [God] guides me in proper paths, for the sake of his good name” in verse 3. To walk in “proper paths” is to walk with the will and way of God guiding our steps, our words, our actions, our decisions… Walking this way, we witness to God’s presence in our lives. Doing so, we invite others to walk alongside the good shepherd too. In all ways, may our lives bring glory to the Lord our God.

Prayer: Lord God, life is not always easy. It gets harder, though, when we try and go it alone. Break our taught reliance on self. Lead and guide us to trust in you. Give us feet willing to walk the path that you set out for us. Walking this path, use us as light and love, drawing others into a relationship with you. Amen.


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Forgiveness

Reading: Psalm 32:1-7

Psalm 32:3-4 – “When I kept quiet, my bones wore out… your hand was heavy upon me.”

Psalm 32 is a song about forgiveness. While the concept of forgiveness is simple, our human nature can complicate this practice in many ways. In the opening verses David lifts up the benefits of forgiveness. The one whose sin is covered by God and who is guilt-free before God is “truly happy.” When nothing separates us from God and God’s love, yes, we are truly happy! The same can be said of our other relationships. When nothing separates us from our love of family, friends, teammates, coworkers… we are truly happy.

We’ve all experienced this place of joy in our relationships. From this experience, you’d think we’d always be swift to seek and offer forgiveness. Unfortunately, we are often like David. In verses 3 and 4 he writes, “When I kept quiet, my bones wore out… your hand was heavy upon me.” Too often we do not seek or receive forgiveness and the weight of this choice begins to feel heavy upon us. The angst or anger, the guilt or the grievance can fester and grow as we let the unresolved tension continue. We come to the place, too, when God’s hand feels heavy upon us. The gentle nudge of the Spirit feels like a hard shove. This is a good thing. It leads to verse 5: “So I admitted my sin…”

Confession begins the healing process – at least as far as God is concerned. God is quick to remove the guilt and shame, swift to rescue and redeem us and our relationship with God. Sadly, we can struggle with these steps sometimes. Our pride or the hurt can get in the way. We can want to nurse a grudge. We can have a hard time admitting we were wrong. When we are struggling with these or other issues, may we remember that we are made in the image of God. Doing so, may our forgiveness be quick and gentle, honest and complete.

Prayer: Lord God, in the arena of forgiveness, make us more like you. Guide us to be practitioners of grace and mercy, humility and love – the key ingredients to living in right relationships with you and with one another. Amen.


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The Power of Love

Reading: 1st Corinthians 1:18-25

1st Corinthians 1:23 – “We preach Christ crucified, which is a scandal to Jews and foolishness to Gentiles.”

In this week’s Epistle reading, Paul addresses most people’s struggle with the cross of Jesus Christ. On the logical level, many people then and today struggle with the idea that a man would willingly die for others. On the religious level, many struggle with what happened next – that Jesus rose from the grave, thus ending sin and death’s hold on humanity. To many yet today the cross is scandal at best, foolishness at its worst.

Paul addresses three “crowds” in his writing. The first two are the Jews and the Gentiles. The Jews were looking for a Messiah who would rise up over the Romans, taking back control of Israel. To willingly submit to a horrific death – a scandal. The Gentiles – all non-Jews – were non-religious and therefore sought to use wisdom and logic to understand and make sense of the world around them. The giving and sharing of wisdom would end with death on the cross – foolishness.

These two basic “crowds” exist yet today. There are many who seek to make Jesus into their own image, seeking to control their version of Jesus for their own gain – politically, economically, socially. And there are those who will try and argue away who and what Jesus was and is. Atheists and others will try to “disprove” Jesus, elevating their own wisdom above all else.

Paul also writes of a third “crowd.” This crowd exists today as well. Those who accept Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior and give their lives to follow him see and understand the cross differently. They see the power and wisdom of the cross and of faithful living today as rooted in love. Love led Jesus to the cross to save us and love leads us out into the world so that others may be saved. Led in love, may we go forth, sharing God’s love with all people.

Prayer: Lord God, use us today to change the world. Just as love broke down the power of sin and death, send us out in love to break down the power of injustice, oppression, power over, greed, lust, prejudice… – the evils of our day. Love can defeat them all. So pour us out in love today, O God. Amen.