pastorjohnb

Thoughts and musings on faith and our mighty God!

Tag Archives: doubt


by Leave a comment

Sunday Afternoon

Reading: John 20:19-20

Verse 19: “Jesus came and stood among them and said, ‘Peace be with you!'”

Photo credit: Milo Weiler

Our passage takes place on the first Easter Sunday. Friday and Saturday had been exceedingly hard days – the betrayal, arrest, trials, and crucifixion of their Lord, Jesus Christ. Then the long period of waiting – part grief and pain, part fear and confusion. Then, on the third day, news of resurrection. Peter and John saw the empty tomb. Mary Magdalene saw the risen Lord and she brings the disciples this good news. That was at sunrise. It is now evening. Imagine the emotions – hope and yet fear, joy and yet doubt. It is on this evening, with the disciples still hiding behind closed doors, that Jesus comes to them and says, “Peace be with you!” He offers proof, showing them the scars of crucifixion. It is all true: what Jesus said about rising in 3 days, what Mary Magdalene has said. All true! The disciples are overjoyed.

What is it that has you behind closed doors? What is it that is creating strong emotions in you? Life has a way of bringing us to places and situations where we feel a lot like those disciples felt on Sunday afternoon. Because of his perfect love, Jesus continues to come to us, transcending the doors we hide behind and the walls we build, reaching out those nail-scarred hands. When we need him most, if we will receive him and take that hand, Jesus will say to us, “Peace be with you!” In faith, may we take hold of that hand, allowing his peace and love to surround us.

Prayer: Lord God, in moments when I can cling to self or to other things of this world, help me to reach out and take hold of that hand. Pull me up out of the mire, the water, the chaos, and set my feet up on the rock. Guide me to trust first in you. Amen.


by Leave a comment

Steps and the Promise

Readings: 1st Peter 4:12-14 and 5:6-11

Verse 7: “Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.”

Photo credit: Uta Scholl

As we come to the close to our time in 1st Peter, the common themes continue: “Do not be surprised at the painful trial you are suffering” and “you are blessed for the Spirit of glory and of God rests on you.” Yes, you/we will suffer for our faith. Have hope! Glory awaits one day and God is with you/us each day in the trials.

Turning to chapter 5 we find some practical steps to walk faithfully through our suffering as well as a promise that gives us this living hope that we have in Jesus Christ. First, Peter calls for humility. Only from this place do we acknowledge our own weaknesses and fragility. Only then do we believe that we truly need God’s power and strength in the trials. Next Peter writes, “Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.” He is NOT saying God will take away all the trials and suffering. He IS saying that if we trust God to lead and guide and to be with us as we walk through the trials and suffering, then we can turn over our anxieties, fears, doubts, worries… to God. This is a big step.

Third, Peter tells us to be “self-controlled and alert.” This advice is given because Satan is always on the prowl, always looking for ways to drag us into sin and away from God. By being disciplined in our faith practices we are arming ourselves with power against these attacks. By being alert we are aware of our own areas of weakness and of those people and/or places that hold negative sway over us. This leads us to the 4th step: “Resist him.” Luke trials and suffering, temptation will come. Satan will attack. To this too we could say, “Do not be surprised…” Peter calls them/us to resist, to stand firm on our rock.

And the promise: “And the God of all grace… will restore you and make you strong, firm, and steadfast.” We do not walk alone. God in Spirit is with us always. In and through the trials and the suffering, God builds our faith. God sees us through and brings us out better able and more equipped for the next round. Thanks be to God.

Prayer: Lord God, we close this walk through 1st Peter with such hope! In this life we will suffer, we will have trials, we will face temptations. Yet you are there with us, giving and being all that we need to walk faithfully through each one, emerging more faithful, more trusting, more assured of the living hope we have in you. Thank you for your great love and care for each of us. Amen.


by Leave a comment

Ever by Our Side

Reading: Psalm 23

Verse 1: “The Lord is my shepherd, I lack nothing.”

Photo credit: Felipe Correia

We return to Psalm 23 today. This is something we do again and again. These words are powerful. We recite these words at many funerals – a reminder that God is always with us. We recite these words in our minds when we are not sure of the next step to take in life – a reminder to ourselves that the Good Shepherd will guide and protect. We pray these words in our hearts – reminding ourselves that the Lord will be our still waters in moments of anxiousness or doubt. We offer these words as a plea – an assurance that the guardian of our soul will meet our every need. And we offer these words as a prayer of thanksgiving, remembering again and again how God is with us in all of life. With these words we rejoice in the Lord.

Today I invite you to an exercise. It won’t take too long. Take a little time to pray your way through the Psalm. Reopen your Bible or click on the link above. Pray through one phrase at a time. Not one verse – that is too much. Begin with “The Lord is my shepherd.” Offer words to God around this phrase. It may be words of praise. It may be a request. It may be gratitude or realization. Allow the Spirit to lead you. Then go on to “I lack nothing.” Take your time. Be with the Lord a while…

What a powerful reminder this exercise was for me. God is with me in so many ways. God brings so much to my daily walk and to my life. The Lord is ever by our side. Thanks be to God.

Prayer: Lord God, thank you for this time today with this amazing Psalm. Draw me back to these words again and again – not only in moments of need but also in times of joy and thanksgiving. You are present in all of life, in every moment. Thank you, Lord. Amen.


by Leave a comment

Blessed Are…

Reading: John 20:24-29

Verse 29: “Because you have seen me, you have believed; blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed.”

Act 2 unfolds today. We learn that Thomas was absent from the risen one’s first visit. It seems odd that Jesus would first visit when one disciple was missing but the reason why becomes clear as we read on. Thomas refuses to believe. He insists on his own physical proof. How many times have you said or thought “I’ll believe that when I see it with my own eyes”?

Usually when I’ve said that, the person’s response has been something along the “Well then, I’ll show you!” lines. It is not said with grace or humility or compassion. Contrast this human norm with how Jesus speaks to Thomas. In act 2 Jesus once again appears and greets them. Then, turning to Thomas alone, Jesus offers what he needs: “Put your finger here…” I picture a kindness in Jesus’ eyes and I sense a mercy and compassion in his voice. I think this is because it’s what I’ve felt when Jesus has met me where I was at and has given me what I needed. Thomas immediately professes faith in “my Lord and my God.”

And then to Thomas, but certainly loud enough for all to hear, Jesus says, “Because you have seen me, you have believed; blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed.” All there have now seen him. By seeing the risen Lord they have come to believe. Yet when Mary Magdalene came from the tomb with her good news… They all had doubt. They all needed more. So not only with Thomas but with all the disciples, he gave them what they needed to really believe. Jesus met them where they were at and helped them to step forward in faith. In Spirit, Christ continues to do this.

You and I fall into this “Blessed are…” statement. We have come to believe without physically seeing Jesus. How? Through the words of scripture, through the witness of others, and through our own experiences with Christ, we have come to believe in Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior. This day may our lives lay the groundwork for the Spirit to move the heart of another, drawing them towards faith in Jesus Christ. In whatever way we can, may we be part of other’s “how.”

Prayer: Lord God, use me today as you will. In and through me may others come to see and know Jesus in their hearts. Lead and guide me to help others toward the Lord and Savior of us all. Amen.


by Leave a comment

Peace Be with You

Reading: John 20:19-23

Verse 19: “Jesus came and stood among them and said, ‘Peace be with you!'”

Even though Mary Magdalene has shared the good news of the resurrection and even though Peter and John have seen the empty tomb and even though Mary has seen the risen Christ, the disciples hide behind locked doors “for fear of the Jews.” They have not seen for themselves, so their fears and doubts still guide their thoughts and actions.

Jesus suddenly appears among the disciples and says, “Peace be with you!” This was a standard greeting in Jesus’ day. It is beginning with the familiar. Then Jesus shows them his hands and his side – the scars still fresh. The full realization of who this is brings great joy to the disciples, just as it had to Mary in her encounter with the risen Christ. Isn’t it funny how firsthand experience is so much more powerful?

Repeating the familiar, Jesus again offers peace. Then the commission begins: “As the father has sent me, I am sending you.” The ministry is being passed on. For 3 years these disciples gained firsthand experience in what it meant to be sent by God. Jesus has lived it day in and day out. Now it was their turn to do as Jesus had done. To enable the disciples to do this huge task, Jesus said, “Receive the Holy Spirit” as he breathed it onto and into these men. This living, indwelling presence of the risen Christ would allow them to do as Jesus did, forgiving as lives were changed by the power of God. The disciples were to minister as Christ had ministered.

This gift of the Holy Spirit is something that all who surrender to Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior receive. The Holy Spirit empowers all believers to minister to others just as Christ did long ago. The Spirit empowers you. May the peace of Christ cover you as you seek to be Jesus’ hands and feet and heart in the world today.

Prayer: Lord God, your power is in us. It goes with us. It leads and guides and shows us the way. It gives us the words to speak. Use us today to minister in your name. Amen.


by Leave a comment

All My Days

Reading: Psalm 27:4-5

Verse 4: “One thing I ask from the Lord, this only do I seek: that I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life.”

Photo credit: Kyle Johnson

As we focus on Psalm 27 again today, we hone in on two verses. These verses express David’s trust in God and his desire to be with God. For David and for the Jewish people for much of the time covered in the Old Testament, God dwelled in a place. For many years, beginning in Moses’ time, God dwelt in the tabernacle. Then, in Solomon’s day, the temple was built and this became God’s dwelling place. From this frame of understanding David writes, “One thing I ask from the Lord, this only do I seek: that I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life.” Connection was found in the house of the Lord, be that the tabernacle or the temple. To “be” with God, one went to the house of the Lord.

With the incarnation of Jesus there was a shift in this understanding and in our relationship with God. Yes, today many, myself included, will enter a sanctuary to spend time with God. It is a space filled with the holiness and presence of God. There are many such sanctuaries, some indoors and some outdoors. The shift, though, was that Jesus, Immanuel, God with us, came to us. God in Jesus walked and lived among humanity. This “with us” relationship was continued after his earthly death as Jesus sent the Holy Spirit to live in our hearts. God’s constant presence in our life became an option as our hearts became the new temple of God.

God’s presence, though everywhere, is an option. At times we can and do choose to sit on the throne of our own hearts. We get greedy or selfish or jealous or angry or anxious or doubtful or… and we step in to lead or guide the show. Or, like David, we can choose a better option. We can seek and ask daily, desiring above all else to walk in relationship with God all of our days. God is faithful. God is ever present. The choice is ours. May we daily seek and desire God, the one who is as close as our next heartbeat.

Prayer: Lord God, help me to daily seek your presence. By the power of your Spirit living inside of me, remind me again and again to search you out, to follow your guidance and direction for my life. All my days, may you alone sit on the throne of my heart. Amen.


by Leave a comment

Blessed with an Epiphany

Reading: Matthew 2:9-12

Verse 9: “They went on their way, and the star they had seen when it rose went ahead of them.”

Today, on Epiphany, we return to the story of the Magi. In this time and space we will focus on the revelations of God and why we see them at times and miss them at other times. In the passage the Magi see the star that is the sign of a newborn king of the Jews. Herod cannot see the star. Yes, he claims to want to go and “worship” this new king. In reality he wants to go and eliminate a potential competitor.

What allowed the Magi to see the sign? And what kept it ever before then? The Magi were attuned to the prophecies and to what they meant for humankind. They were not Jewish but they did understand that the Messiah was not a king in the earthly sense. If it were so, they would not have come that far to worship a future king of a tiny, insignificant nation. They came to worship one who would transform the world. The Magi brought gifts of great wealth. The Magi were focused upward. At the opposite end was Herod. He was focused only on self and on earthly power and control. The star bright enough to follow for hundreds of miles was well outside of Herod’s vision.

I’ve experienced what Herod did. I’ve been around people with a vision, with a God-driven purpose in sight but have failed to see what they could see. My doubts or selfish concerns kept me from seeing the signs of God’s hand at work. Maybe you’ve been there too. Maybe you too have been inwardly focused or prideful or unsure. Only when our heart is tuned to God will we be blessed with an epiphany of what God is doing or wants to do in our lives or community or world. So may we choose to live with a heart turned toward God. Then we will be in a place to see and experience the power and glory of God. May it be so for you and for me.

Prayer: Lord God, thank you for the times that you’ve opened my eyes and heart to your presence, plan, and purpose. When I start to turn inward, when I begin to get selfish, pry open my faith and trust in you. Remind me again that you are the God who moves mountains, who heals the hurting, who rescues the lost, who mends the broken, and who redeems the wayward. Amen.


by Leave a comment

Glorified

Reading: 2nd Thessalonians 1:1-4 and 11-12

Verse 11: “We constantly pray for you… so that by God’s power God may fulfill every good purpose of yours and every act prompted by your faith.”

Photo credit: Uta Scholl

In our Epistle reading Paul expresses his gratitude for the faith shown by the church in Thessalonica. He gives thanks for their growing faith and for the love that they show for one another. Paul even adds that he boasts about their steadfast faith in the midst of trial and suffering. It is easy to have faith when life is great. Paul recognizes and gives thanks for their faith when things are hard. I can praise God on good days and question or doubt God when bad things happen. To have the constant and steady faith that Paul sees the today’s text remains a goal for me and maybe for you too.

In the second part of today’s passage Paul offer up this prayer: “We constantly pray for you… so that by God’s power God may fulfill every good purpose of yours and every act prompted by your faith.” The prayers are constant because the battle is ever present. There are ample opportunities to choose ease over discomfort, status quo over change, power over service. The world works to hard wire us to think of self first. So we need the presence and strength of God to live faithfully each day. We need help to fulfill the “good purposes” that God has for us. We need encouragement from the Holy Spirit to respond in faith each time we are prompted or nudged to act or speak on behalf of another. To stand against an injustice, to step into the gap to prevent abuse, to act and speak against racism, prejudice, sexism, inequality… – all of these place us face to face with those who have power and authority and privilege. To do these things, to walk this walk, it is to follow Christ.

Paul ends today’s passage with the “why” of his prayers: “So that the name of our Lord Jesus may be glorified.” As the Spirit stirs and as our faith leads, may we speak and act in ways that glorify the Lord.

Prayer: Lord God, in those moments when I teeter, when I’m tempted to be quiet or to try to preserve self, inspire me to speak or act in ways that elevate the powerless, the marginalized, the weak. Fill me with your power and presence, shining a light to the love and grace and glory of your son. Amen.


by Leave a comment

Faith Asks…

Reading: Luke 17:5-6

Verse 6: “He replied, ‘If you have faith as small as a mustard seed…'”

Today we focus on the first 2 verses of this week’s gospel reading. The disciples ask Jesus to increase their faith. They are trying to quantify something that cannot be quantified. It is as if their faith were kept in small bottles and they thought that Jesus could give them one more scoop. Well then, why not 2 or 20 scoops?

Faith is not “changeable.” You believe Jesus died and paid the price for your sins or you don’t. You believe that Jesus rose from the grave to show the way to eternal life or you don’t. You believe that God loves you and has good plans for you or you don’t. You believe Jesus will come again to make all things new or you don’t.

Faith is also not “easy.” The natural challenges and hardships of life can cause doubt. The ways of the world can try and pull us away from God’s truths. The decisions we make and the sins we commit can reflect our fleshy human nature more so than the image of God within us. We are imperfect and faulty people. Being faithful is sometimes hard.

Jesus responds to the disciples by saying, “If you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mulberry tree, ‘Be uprooted and planted in the sea,’ and it would obey.” Wow. That’s like walking on water stuff, Jesus. Yes it is. Jesus is saying that faith is not something you can acquire more of. Faith asks that we trust and obey. Faith asks that we step forward, knowing that God goes with us. May it be so.

Prayer: Lord God, I believe in salvation, forgiveness, redemption – all examples of your great love for me. Help me to trust when doubt creeps in, to stay the course when temptation rises up, to cling to you when my human nature says to run. In my weakness, be my strength, O Lord. Amen.


by Leave a comment

One More Sign…

Reading: John 14:8-17 and 25-27

Verse 8: “Philip said, ‘Lord, show us the Father and that will be enough for us.'”

In John 14 we begin with Philip’s request of Jesus: “Lord, show us the Father and that will be enough for us.” Jesus has literally just told them that he is “the way and the truth and the life” and that no one comes to the Father except through him. In a way, knowing that Jesus just made this declaration, it makes Philip’s request even harder to hear. Philip and the other disciples have seen and heard over and over and over again that Jesus is one with God. They have witnessed the power of God through the words and actions of Jesus time and time again. Philip wants one more sign. Will that one be enough?

If Philip is anything like me, it will not be enough. I may not have walked by Jesus’ side, but there is more than enough evidence for me to believe and trust in Jesus. The Biblical account lays out who and what Jesus is: God incarnate. The gospels paint a crystal clear picture of how I am called to live and love. Over and over again in my life, Jesus has become a tangible presence to me, assuring me of his love for me. Most of the time I have no doubt that Jesus is the only way, truth, and life.

Yet sometimes, even after a close encounter with Christ, I can doubt or question or want one more sign. I can wonder if Jesus will be with me this time too. I can be like Philip. After all these years, I can need one more sign, one more showing. I, like Philip, am a work in progress. We all are. Yet God remains faithful, even in our doubt and questioning. Thanks be to God.

Prayer: Lord God, forgive me for my inability to fully trust and believe all the time. Thank you for your constant and steadfast nature, for the love that remains even when mine wavers. Thank you for one more reminder today. Amen.