pastorjohnb

Thoughts and musings on faith and our mighty God!

Tag Archives: worthiness


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Doubt

Reading: Matthew 28:16-17

Matthew 28:17 – “When they saw him, they worshipped him, but some doubted.”

Photo credit: Kim West

Turning to our gospel lesson to end the week, Jesus has some final words for the eleven disciples. They meet Jesus one last time, on a mountain in Galilee – the place that the woman who had been at the tomb told them to go. The disciples worshipped Jesus, “but some doubted.” Maybe you are wondering how they could doubt. These disciples spent three years with Jesus, hearing his teachings, seeing the miracles. Stacked on top of that, there have been multiple encounters with the risen Christ over the last forty days. Yet some – maybe most – doubted.

Well, here’s the truth: I’ve walked with Jesus way longer than three years and forty days and there are still times of doubt. There are moments and even seasons when I question my faith or the  things I believe or don’t believe. There are times when I question my worthiness or when I question God’s love for me. Yes, these times lessen as I walk longer and longer with Jesus, but they don’t fully disappear. My faith will never be 100% sure, 100% of the time.

And a second truth: doubt is not all bad. In one of my greatest seasons of doubt, I wrestled hard with my faith. God in Spirit walked with me, leading and guiding, refining and strengthening my faith. The times of doubt and the questions that often follow usually work this way – if we turn into God instead of away from God. So when doubt arises, and it will, may we turn to the Lord our God, to the one who is faithful in all situations and at all times.

Prayer: Lord God, while we would never invite seasons of doubt into our journeys of faith, we do thank you for these times of questioning and growth. We also thank you for your steadfast love that never leaves us in our doubt. Out of your great love, you answer our doubt, increasing our faith. Thank you, O God. Amen.


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With the Heart

Reading: 1st Samuel 15:34 – 16:13

Verse 7: “Man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart”.

Photo credit: Tom Swinnen

Last week one of our readings was from 1st Samuel 8. In this reading the Israelites demanded a king. They wanted to be like all the other nations around them. God grants their request. But Saul, the first king, soon needed replacement. As Saul’s leadership declined, Samuel spoke out, becoming unpopular and feared. In 1st Samuel 15 God finally rejects Saul as king and, as our reading today begins, God sends Samuel to Bethlehem to anoint the next king of Israel. Saul is not dead yet. He remains king.

Overcoming Samuel’s objections God sends him to Bethlehem to anoint one of Jesse’s sons. When Samuel sees Eliab, Jesse’s oldest, he thinks surely this is the one – eldest, tall, strong. ‘Not this one’, God says. In verse seven we read, “Man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart”. Six more sons pass by Samuel – none of these either. Samuel asks Jesse, “Are these all the sons you have”? The youngest is out in the fields tending the sheep. Eliab once tended the sheep. Then Abinadab came along and it became his job. And so it went. These were the norms of the day. The oldest son, the one who inherited a double portion, the one who is tall and strong – surely he will be the anointed one. If you choose as man would choose. God sees things differently. God looks at the heart.

We continue to struggle with the practice of judging by appearance. Or with our preconceived notions or with our inherent prejudices. We look at how someone dresses and dismiss them as a potential friend. We look at how someone looks and we dismiss them as a potential employee. We look at someone’s ethnicity and dismiss them as a potential teammate. We look at someone’s behavior and we dismiss them as a potential brother or sister in Christ. When we judge in these ways, may Samuel’s words echo in our head: “The Lord has not chosen this one either”. And may we realize that the Lord is speaking to us, about us. When we judge another by dress, looks, ethnicity, behavior, or any other human metric, we are far from the heart of God. May it not be so. May we see as God sees: with the heart.

Prayer: Loving God, when my prejudices, my experiences, my notions… rise up and begin to judge another’s worthiness, cut me off. Use the Holy Spirit to draw me up short, to prune me off where I need pruned. Open my eyes and heart to see and love as you see and love. Amen.