pastorjohnb

Thoughts and musings on faith and our mighty God!

Tag Archives: wrestle


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Abiding Presence, Ongoing Work

Reading: Genesis 32:25-31

Genesis 32:31 – “The sun rose as Jacob passed Peniel, limping because of his thigh.”

Photo credit: Timo Volz

Continuing in Genesis 32 today, the “man” cannot defeat Jacob, who refuses to quit. Even after God injures Jacob’s hip, he wrestles on. Jacob must sense some purpose in this encounter. So as dawn nears and God again asks Jacob to let go, he responds, “I won’t let go until you bless me.” God blesses Jacob with a new name, symbolizing the change within. All of his life, Jacob has struggled with God. After this personal encounter, seeing God “face-to-face,” Jacob has been “saved.” Saved from selfishness and pride, Jacob can see and live beyond himself. As our passage closes, we read, “The sun rose as Jacob passed Peniel, limping because of his thigh.”

The band I AM THEY wrote a song called “Scars.” The first two verses read, “Waking up to a new sunrise, Looking back from the other side, I can see now with open eyes… Darkest water and deepest pain, I wouldn’t trade it for anything, ‘Cause my brokenness brought me to You, And these wounds are a story You’ll use.” These words remind us that, like Jacob, God works in and through our struggles. Sometimes there is deep pain and hurt. But afterwards, looking back, we can see how God changed us, transformed us. For Jacob, his limp was a tangible reminder, yes of the wrestling, but more so of the transformation. Our scars, whether physical or emotional or spiritual, remind us too of God’s abiding presence and ongoing work in our lives. As the lyrics of the chorus thank God for the scars and the reminders of who God is, may we also rejoice in God’s deliverance, victory, and transformation through the struggles.

Prayer: Lord God, while we’d never choose the struggle while in the middle of it, we can look back and see your plan, your purpose, at work. We can also see how we were changed and how we grew in our relationship with you. Thank you for your faithfulness, especially as we are often less than we should be in the struggle. And thank you for never leaving us there when we need you most. Amen.


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A Sacred Encounter

Reading: Genesis 32:22-24

Genesis 32:24 – “But Jacob stayed apart by himself, and a man wrestled with him until dawn broke.”

Photo credit: Mitchel Lensink

As we begin, some context from the start of chapter 32. Jacob is returning home. He is doing as God directed. As he gets close he hears that Esau is approaching with 400 soldiers. Esau is the one who had his birth rite stolen by Jacob. When Jacob fled, Esau was threatening murder. In fear and terror Jacob comes up with a plan. If Esau can’t be bought off, maybe some will escape while the rest are captured or killed or… Then Jacob prays for safety, even as he tries to barter with God. He then adds a level of security for himself. As we turn to our reading for today, we see that Jacob places all that is his – wives, children, servants, livestock – across the Jabbok River and retreats back across – alone.

Alone – just where he needs to be right now to encounter God. In verse 24 we read, “But Jacob stayed apart by himself, and a man wrestled with him until dawn broke.” This is much more than a physical struggle. Likely in response to Jacob’s prayers, wheeling and dealing, and scheming, God has come to wrestle with Jacob spiritually. In the wrestling, God confronts Jacob’s fears, lack of faith and trust, and his prideful, sinful ways. In the end, after transformation, Jacob refuses to let go of God. The physical and spiritual have come together. Once blessed, renamed “Israel,” he will face the day knowing that God is with him.

When we find time and space to be alone with God, to lay our fears, doubts, and worries before God, we too will find that God is ready to wrestle with us. God will meet us at our point of need and will help us to wrestle through, transforming us and our faith. Making time and space for a sacred encounter, we can count on our faithful God to show up and to work in us. May we trust in our faithful, loving God.

Prayer: Lord God, draw us into times and places where we can encounter your presence. Still our racing, often fearful, minds and hearts so that we can receive what you have to say and give. With open hearts and minds, transform us, bringing us to a place of deeper faith and greater trust. Thank you, Lord. Amen.


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Doubt

Reading: Matthew 28:16-17

Matthew 28:17 – “When they saw him, they worshipped him, but some doubted.”

Photo credit: Kim West

Turning to our gospel lesson to end the week, Jesus has some final words for the eleven disciples. They meet Jesus one last time, on a mountain in Galilee – the place that the woman who had been at the tomb told them to go. The disciples worshipped Jesus, “but some doubted.” Maybe you are wondering how they could doubt. These disciples spent three years with Jesus, hearing his teachings, seeing the miracles. Stacked on top of that, there have been multiple encounters with the risen Christ over the last forty days. Yet some – maybe most – doubted.

Well, here’s the truth: I’ve walked with Jesus way longer than three years and forty days and there are still times of doubt. There are moments and even seasons when I question my faith or the  things I believe or don’t believe. There are times when I question my worthiness or when I question God’s love for me. Yes, these times lessen as I walk longer and longer with Jesus, but they don’t fully disappear. My faith will never be 100% sure, 100% of the time.

And a second truth: doubt is not all bad. In one of my greatest seasons of doubt, I wrestled hard with my faith. God in Spirit walked with me, leading and guiding, refining and strengthening my faith. The times of doubt and the questions that often follow usually work this way – if we turn into God instead of away from God. So when doubt arises, and it will, may we turn to the Lord our God, to the one who is faithful in all situations and at all times.

Prayer: Lord God, while we would never invite seasons of doubt into our journeys of faith, we do thank you for these times of questioning and growth. We also thank you for your steadfast love that never leaves us in our doubt. Out of your great love, you answer our doubt, increasing our faith. Thank you, O God. Amen.


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Life Beyond

Reading: Genesis 5:18-24

Genesis 5:24 – “Enoch walked with God and disappeared because God took him.”

Photo credit: Timo Volz

Today’s reading jumps way back, back to the generations that came after Adam. If one scans backwards, one reads of very lengthy lifespans – Adam lived 930 years, Enosh lived 905 years, Jared lived 962 years. The fate of all but one of these men listed in Genesis 5 is the same: “he died.” Running throughout this chapter and throughout the Bible is this common truth: our time on earth will run out and we will die. The question we wrestle with is where we will go.

For Adam, Cain, Abel, and so on, the end of life brought death. There was simply a cessation of life. That was that. For people today without faith, death remains final. There is no hope, no future possibility. Death has the final, final word.

In today’s text, Enoch has a different fate. Enoch’s story is different than the other’s stories. In his story alone we read that he “walked with God.” Enoch was faithful to God. So unique is this fact, it is in two verses. Because he walked with God we also read that he “disappeared because God took him.” Enoch did not taste death. Death does not always have the last word.

This is the first time in the Bible that it hints at what we would call “heaven” as a destination. Enoch clearly experiences something other than physical death. There is something beyond what we now know in our mortal bodies. Thanks be to God.

Prayer: Lord God, from early on in your story you’ve pointed to something more, to something better, to something lasting. Thank you for the reminder today, for this first glimpse. Continue to walk with us this week as we delve into your story of life. Amen.


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Heart Conditions

Reading: Matthew 5:21-22 and 27-30

Matthew 5:30 – “It’s better that you lose part of your body than that your whole body go into hell.”

As we continue to wrestle with the question of heaven or hell we turn today to some of Jesus’ words concerning what can lead a person into hell. Our two short sections on murder and adultery begin a series of teachings where Jesus also addresses divorce, oaths, retaliation, and love. In all of these teachings, Jesus calls us beyond the minimum of the letter of the Law. He’s really digging down into the condition of our hearts.

One of the Ten Commandments says, “Do not murder.” Yes, Jesus says, but he adds a warning about anger. This first emotion leads to harsh words which can lead to… Jesus could’ve warned about envy or arrogance or… Anger is not the only sin that could lead to murder.

Another of the Ten Commandments says, “Don’t commit adultery.” Again, Jesus goes to the root, warning about even looking lustfully at someone else. And, again, lust is not the only emotion that can begin the journey towards adultery. Illustrating that sin is often a progression, Jesus tells us to cut out our eye if it causes us to lust. And if a hand next continues the lustful action – “cut it off.” Sin is serious. It begins with temptation. It leads to separation from God – often temporarily but potentially eternally. Therefore, Jesus summarizes, “It’s better that you lose part of your body than that your whole body go into hell.” Clearly we must begin with an honest evaluation of the condition of our heart.

Prayer: Lord God, you see all things, know all things. Bring this truth to the fore when our humanity begins to wander towards less than you call us to be. May the voice and the nudge of your Holy Spirit work powerfully in our hearts and minds, aligning us with your charge to love you and neighbor more than self. Guide us to walk faithfully this day and every day. Amen.


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Timeless and Eternal

Readings: Psalm 145:8-9, Joshua 6:17-21, Micah 6:6-8, Isaiah 2:4-5

Psalm 145:8 – “The Lord is merciful and compassionate, very patient, and full of faithful love.”

Today we wrestle with the violence of the Bible. It is fairly common in the Old Testament. But the brutality and totality shock us today. While this violence has no place today, the timeless character of God is the lasting truth that we can stand upon today, tomorrow, and forever.

In Psalm 145 we read, “The Lord is merciful and compassionate, very patient, and full of faithful love.” These are traits we associate with God, words enfleshed by Jesus: merciful, compassionate, patient, loving. In the next verse we’re reminded that these good qualities extend to “everyone and everything.” This is the God we know and experience personally.

Then we turn to Joshua 6. These verses are part of the conquest of Jericho, just as Israel is beginning to take possession of the Promised Land. As the walls are about to come down, these are the instructions: “The city and everything in it is to be utterly wiped out as something reserved for the Lord.” That is what happens. All humanity and all livestock – all slaughtered. This atrocity turns out stomachs and rightly so. And it also reflects a common practice in the world at that time. Other people groups also practiced this, known as “the ban.” It was a way of eliminating outside influence and of giving the first fruits of battle to God (or to gods) as a holy and pleasing sacrifice.

In Micah 6 we see God’s timeless desire for humanity. Instead of offering God huge or voluminous offerings, the prophet reminds us that God requires justice, faithful love, and a humble walk. These traits reflect the divine call to love God and neighbor. Turning to Isaiah 2 we get an end game picture. One day war, still a present reality in our world, will be no more. Swords and spears will be turned into tools used to care for one another. All will then walk in the light of the Lord. One day.

Prayer: Lord God, walk with us and guide us as we read and process what happened at Jericho and at other times in the ancient world. Lead us to understand that these events were specific to that time and culture. Draw us to your timeless and eternal: good, justice, love, mercy, peace, grace. Keep these arching over our understanding of you and your word. Amen.


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Bold Words

Reading: Matthew 26

Matthew 26:35 – “Peter said, ‘Even if I must die alongside you, I won’t deny you.’ All the disciples said the same thing.”

In Matthew 26 we move into Jesus final days. He announces that in two days he will be handed over and crucified. Matthew notes that the chief priests and elders don’t want it to happen during the feast – they fear the people’s reaction. But it will happen as Jesus said and as God has planned.

That night at the house of Simon (formerly the leper), a woman anoints Jesus’ head with very expensive perfume, preparing him for burial. The disciples see it as a waste, but Jesus commends her actions. Judas then goes and agrees to betray Jesus. The next day Jesus and the disciples celebrate the Passover meal. Jesus tells them that one of them will betray him and Judas is eventually identified. Jesus then offers the first communion. Judas is still there. They sing some songs and then go to the Mount of Olives.

Jesus tells them that they’ll all fall away that night. Peter says he’ll never stumble. Jesus tells him that he’ll deny Jesus three times that night – “before the rooster crows.” Boldly Peter says, “Even if I must die alongside you, I won’t deny you.” The others echo this sentiment. Jesus moves to the area known as Gethsemane to pray, inviting the disciples to “keep alert” as they join him in prayer. They sleep. Jesus wrestles with the suffering to come but ultimately prays to God that this will be “what you want.” Awakening the disciples, Judas and the crowd arrive.

Identified with a kiss, Jesus is arrested. All is to fulfill the scriptures. All the disciples run away. Jesus is taken not to the temple but to the home of Caiaphas, the high priest. Peter follows at a distance. It is at a distance that he will boldly deny Jesus three times. The fake trial ends with the religious leaders hitting and spitting on a condemned Jesus. Funny how their literal actions mirror what the disciples did to Jesus, figuratively speaking. Sadly, at times, we do the same.

Prayer: Lord God, the sad but glorious ending begins to unfold. Human weakness, pride, jealousy, betrayal – all are present. Obedience, trust, faith, courage – all present as well. Lord, help us to be like you instead of like the religious leaders and like the disciples in their moments of fear. Lord, empower our faith and trust, our obedience and courage. May our words and our actions be bold. Amen.


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Trust in God, Wait with Hope

Reading: Habakkuk 1-3

Habakkuk 3:2 – “LORD, I have heard your reputation. I have seen your work. Over time, revive it. Over time, make it known.”

Habakkuk has a chat with God. The chat revolves around why God allows the righteous to suffer while the wicked prosper. Habakkuk struggles to understand how a good God could allow such evil to exist. We continue to wrestle with these struggles today.

The book begins with a question: “Lord, how long will I call for help and you will not listen?” This is a question we’ve all raised. Habakkuk cries out about the violence and injustice. God responds, “I’m about to rouse the Chaldeans.” Babylon will sweep in, taking “captives like sand.” Habakkuk questions how God could choose to use this evil empire, the one that sacrifices to its own strength. He declares that he will “take my post” as he waits for God to respond.

God responds with a vision. Habakkuk is to clearly write it down on tablets. This vision is for an appointed time. While they will wait for it, God declares, “For it is surely coming; it will not be late.” God tells Habakkuk that the righteous will live honestly. The arrogant – the ones who are never satisfied – they will fall. The ones who plundered will be plundered. Doom is coming to all who trust in idols. The Lord is holy. At the appointed time, the earth will be silent before the Lord.

Habakkuk then goes to the Lord in prayer. He begins, “LORD, I have heard your reputation. I have seen your work. Over time, revive it. Over time, make it known.” He trusts that God will one day “tread the nations,” defeating wickedness. Habakkuk trusts into God’s vision for the future. Right now the fig doesn’t blossom. Right now the pens and stalls are empty. But right now, Habakkuk declares, “I will rejoice in the Lord… my deliverance… my strength.” He chooses to trust in God. He chooses to wait with hope. May we choose to do the same when we are suffering, when we are in the struggle. God is loving. God is faithful.

Prayer: Lord God, when we are struggling with the evil in the world, when we are questioning your activity or inactivity in the world, lead us to use Habakkuk as our guide. May we lay our lament before you. May we trust in you to respond. May we choose a bold faith, one that trusts and hopes in you alone. Amen.


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The Target Audience

Reading: Matthew 22:1-10

Verse 3: “He sent his servants to those who had been invited to the banquet to tell them to come, but they refused to come.”

Photo credit: Possessed Photography

Jesus loved to tell a good story, to teach in parables. These were stories that were often set in real life so that people could relate to them. Therefore they were able to remember them. Parables are great ways to teach lessons or truths without actually naming the target audience. And best of all, the people knew there were deeper meanings to these parables, so they wrestled with Jesus’ teachings.

Once again Jesus begins, “The kingdom of heaven was like…” Jesus is talking about both the future kingdom of heaven and of the kingdom here on earth. These are to be like one another. When we get to heaven, we should say, ‘This looks a lot like earth.’ That is the truth that frames this parable. The parable reveals the reality that they are not alike.

The king (God) invites people (Israel) to his son’s wedding. They accepted the invitation. (The Jews see themselves as God’s chosen people.) The time comes for the actual banquet – all has been prepared (Jesus has come.) The king tells the servants to summon those on the guest list. The people refuse to come. Some even kill the servants (prophets). In a harsh but true statement the king says, “Those I invited did not deserve to come.” Undeterred, the servants are sent out into the streets (the world) inviting people (all people) to come to the banquet. The invitation is wide open. The banquet hall is filled! This is God’s intent for the kingdom of heaven – both here on earth and one day in eternity.

The target audience has layers. There is wrestling to be done. A target audience is the religious leaders and other Jews that have rejected the prophets and who now reject Jesus. Another target audience is those who have read this parable ever since it was written. How often we (you and me) reject the invitations of God – be they in the words in red or in the gentle whispers and nudges of the Holy Spirit. What then is Jesus teaching us yet today?

Prayer: Lord God, may the truths that you reveal to us today not just be a sting that we allow to fade away with time. May they lead us to step further into your kingdom here on earth. May we hear your voice calling us to the streets, to the places where the lost and lonely, the broken and the hurting reside. In and through us may they hear your invitation to the feast. Amen.


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Wrestling with God

Reading: Genesis 32:22-31

Verse 28: “Your name will no longer be Jacob, but Israel, because you have struggled with God and with humans and have overcome.”

Photo credit: Rainier Ridao

In this week’s Genesis account we find the most intimate and humanly personal encounters with God that we have recorded in the scriptures. Yes, many in the Bible have intimate and personal conversations with God. But none have this close, intimate, physical encounter with God.

Often when we wrestle with God or with our faith we emerge feeling as if we’ve gone a few rounds with a worthy opponent. After intense prayer sessions we can feel drained. Leaving a worship space after a moving and powerful experience can remind us of a good physical workout too. Wrestling with who and what we are as followers of Jesus Christ is something that requires effort and energy and commitment.

In the literal sense we know that this is what was required of Jacob as he wrestled with God (or with the “man of God” in many translations.) I imagine a conversation running throughout this bout. Spiritual points would be made at strategic shifts in the actual wrestling match. This move and counter-move flow is not atypical of our relationship with God.

As God works in our lives the Holy Spirit acts as our guide and as our advocate, as our disciplinarian and as our corrector. We wrestle with things like giving up that dear sin and with dying to self. The Spirit holds on, not giving up, not letting go, not giving in. When faithful, we do the same. It is then that we emerge a bit closer to God. In these wrestling matches, like Jacob, we grow. For this we too can say, thanks be to God!

Prayer: Lord God, what a battle we have some days. My spirit wanting to go this way or to do this thing, your Spirit trying to lead me a better way. When I try to run, when I try to avoid the match, hold onto me. Don’t let go until you’ve accomplished your purposes, your vision, your goal for me. Draw me deeper into relationship. Make me more willing. Change my heart, O God. Conform me today closer to who you made me to be. Amen.