pastorjohnb

Thoughts and musings on faith and our mighty God!

Tag Archives: struggle


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Our Intercessor

Reading: Exodus 32:7-14

Exodus 32:10 – “Now leave me alone! Let my fury burn and devour them.”

Exodus 32 begins with Moses and Joshua already up on the mountain, speaking with God. They are up there a long time – apparently too long. An impatient people decide that they need something new to follow and worship. A gold bull calf is fashioned. An altar is made. The image is worshipped. Before moving to today’s reading, let us ponder how often we either get impatient with God and take matters into our own hands or… how often we worship things other than the Lord our God.

In verse 7 God instructs Moses to “Hurry up,” to return to “Your people” because they are “ruining everything.” God recounts to Moses the making of and worship of an idol. God is very upset with this “stubborn people.” God then says to Moses, “Now leave me alone! Let my fury burn and devour them.” God is ready to simply wipe the Israelites off the face of the earth. God will just start over with Moses. Referring back to our earlier pondering, I wonder, how often does God get to this same place with us? Collectively we must regularly tempt God to just burn it down in order to start over.

What happens next is amazing. Moses intercedes on behalf of God’s “own people.” Moses tells God to calm down, to change God’s mind, to remember the covenant promises. And God does. Moses had walked long enough with these people to understand their struggles with being faithful 100% of the time. The good news for you and for me? Jesus – God in the flesh – walked long enough with humanity to truly understand our struggles. Just as Moses did, the risen Christ intercedes for you and for me, standing between us and God, pleading our case. Thanks be to God for Jesus Christ, our intercessor and friend.

Prayer: Lord God, thank you for you day to day patience and for your unconditional love. We are so imperfect. We must push your buttons regularly, like a difficult two-year-old with a very tired parent. We rejoice in Jesus, our intercessor before you. We thank you too for the Holy Spirit, our indwelling friend who helps us in our walk with you. And, God, thank you for your saving grace and unending mercy. You are a most awesome God. Amen.


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New Life in Christ

Reading: Romans 7:4-6

Romans 7:6 – “We have died with respect to the thing that controlled us, so that we can be slaves in the new life under the Spirit.”

As we begin this week focusing on having lips to speak and ears to listen, we begin in Romans 7. In our walk of faith, one of our greatest struggles is often choosing what voice(s) to listen to. For Christians this struggle often centers around what the world or our culture tries to tell us. This voice tells us that “things” matter most: wealth, power, status… Our inner being, “self,” can be drawn into this narrative because we are innately selfish, greedy, prideful…

In today’s passage Paul writes about choosing new life in Christ instead of trying to live under the Law of Moses. For devout Jews at this time following the Law was almost all that mattered: offer this sacrifice, say that prayer, attend the festival, give, worship. On the surface these can sound and can be good. But when one’s faithfulness to the rules leads to judging and rigidity in things like compassion, empathy, and service, then it can become a bad thing. And failing to uphold the Law led to a guilt and a shame that the Law could not remove.

Paul shares how this changes with the coming of Jesus Christ: “We have died with respect to the thing that controlled us, so that we can be slaves in the new life under the Spirit.” The religion of checking the boxes, the life that leads to death, has been superceded by faith in Christ. Living the new life in Christ, through the power and presence of the Holy Spirit, tunes our ears to the will and way of God. This leads to a life that bears good fruit. Rooted in love, this fruit is peace, patience, joy, hope, forgiveness, self-control… Thanks be to God for the new life that we find in Christ!

Prayer: Lord God, as we die to self and to the ways of the world, what freedom we find. Instead of chasing after and worrying about accumulation, we become filled with content and peace, we practice presence and generosity. Instead of seeking to elevate self, we praise and glorify God as we lift others up. Thank you for the life of joy and hope, of love and grace found in Christ. Amen.


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Do We Pray… and Listen?

Reading: Matthew 26:36-44

Matthew 26:41 – “Stay alert and pray so that you won’t give in to temptation.”

Today we enter a familiar scene: Jesus praying in the Garden of Gethsemane. The cross looms large. He is moving steadily towards his death. The arrest follows this passage. Jesus feels a great need to pray. He knows that what lies ahead will be a cruel and physically punishing death. The human part of Jesus and the divine part reveal themselves in his prayers.We too find ourselves in this place, wrestling with the promises we know to be true set against the fears within and the lies of the world.

Most of the disciples remain at the entrance to the Garden, but Jesus takes Peter, James, and John a bit deeper in..Jesus shares his inner struggles with these three: “I’m very sad. It’s as if I’m dying.” He then asks them to “keep alert with me.” Jesus is asking his friends to pray with him. Going a bit deeper into the Garden, the human side of Jesus prays that this task of dying be taken from him. Then, fully aware of God’s plan, the divine part prays, “Not what I want but what you want.” There is surrender to and worship of God in these words that are prayed three times.

Returning to Peter, James, and John he finds them asleep. Waking them he offers them encouragement, saying, “Stay alert and pray so that you won’t give in to temptation.” Jesus knows the trials coming for them and the rest of the disciples. He’s been modeling how to face these trials, but they’ve been sleeping. Soon they too will have to decide between God’s will and their own will. We face these same trials. Do we walk in faith and trust or do we allow fear, worry, doubt… to guide us? Do we pray and receive guidance and strength from the Spirit, or do we listen to another voice?

Prayer: Lord God, how often we hear more than one voice. The voice of your Spirit is always there but so is our own voice. The noise of the world clamors often too. In moments of trial and temptation, in times of struggle and hardship, whisper your promises and your love into our hearts. May that whisper garner all of our attention. May the voice that always rings true show us the way to surrender to your will and ways. Amen.


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Wait… Trust…

Reading: Habakkuk 2:2-3

Habakkuk 2:3c – “If it delays, wait for it; for it is surely coming; it will not be late.”

Photo credit: Ben White

Today we hear the beginning of Habakkuk’s answer from God. In this case he has asked God how long will evil (Babylon) triumph over good (God’s people.) Habakkuk takes up his place on the fortress wall, waiting for God to respond. He commits to keeping watch, to waiting. At times our prayer life must take this posture. We must pray faithfully, asking our honest questions, offering our humble petitions. And then we too must wait and watch for God’s response.

In our reading for today, God begins by instructing the prophet to write these words down on a tablet, preserving these words. God then tells him that God’s word is for an “appointed time.” He’s told that God’s word will not deceive. And then, at the end of verses 3, God says, “If it delays, wait for it; for it is surely coming; it will not be late.” In these words God reminds Habakkuk and us of important truths and realities.

First, we are to remain steadfast in our faith. If God doesn’t answer our prayer that day or at least soon in our time frame, be patient and trust God. Pray through the doubt, questions, worry… Second, God will answer. There is no question, God’s answer is “surely coming.” And… it comes in God’s time. “It will not be late” reminds us that God’s answer will come at the absolute right and best time.

We can struggle with waiting patiently, especially when we’re asking the “how long?” questions or when the suffering is deep. We are called to trust in God and to remain faithful to believing that God’s plans are best. This is essential because when we get too bound up in “when” God will answer our prayers, then we sometimes miss the “how.” If God’s answer isn’t just what we thought it should be, in our preoccupation we miss God’s answer. Patience, trust, faith. May these practices be the guides in our prayer life

Prayer: Lord God, in our me-first world, help us to keep a God-first faith. In our quick, get it now world, guide us to a steadfast trust in you and your eternal ways. In our selfish, ego driven world, remind us that you hold it all – including us – in your hands. In our my way or the highway world, open our eyes to see the breadth of your love and care, not just for us but for all of your creation. Amen.


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Come Near

Reading: James 4:1-12

James 4:10 – “Humble yourselves before the Lord, and God will lift you up.”

Photo credit: Kyle Johnson

James 4 addresses the conflict in the early church. In general, conflict over the things of this world are normal in the world. It should not be so in the church. In the opening verses of chapter 4 James identifies the issue: “cravings that are at war.” He then names want and jealousy as the primary drivers of these cravings. Our human natures focuses on self and our desires for power, status, possessions. These desires, left unchecked, lead us down evil paths. On this path we “struggle and fight,” we gossip and judge and slander, and even “commit murder” in extreme cases

James chooses language such as “hostility… enemy…” because there is a battle within us. Echoing Jesus’ teaching about our inability to serve two masters, James pits friendship with the world against friendship with God. He then offers the Christian choice: “Submit to God. Resist the devil, and he will run away from you.” When we make this choice it leads us to repent of our sins, to purify our hearts. Continuing, we read, “Humble yourselves before the Lord, and God will lift you up.” Humility – thinking less of self and more of God and neighbor – is one of the key practices of an authentic faith and is absolutely essential in this battle. Walking in humility works against those worldly lures that tear apart community and fellowship.

Our prayer life is where much of this battle is fought. It is in prayer that we offer humble confessions and commi to repentance. It is in prayer that we find strength to resist the lures of this world. It is in prayer that we offer thanks for God’s blessings, provision, and grace. It is in prayer that we “Come near to God” so that “God will come near to you.” May it be so.

Prayer: Lord God, the walk of faith is not an easy walk. The voices of the world are loud and powerful. But you are far greater. Your Spirit places us within your power. In that place, fill us with strength today, O God, so that we can walk faithfully with you and with one another. Amen.


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Shining the Light

Reading: Luke 22:39-53

Luke 22:53b – “But this is your time, when darkness rules.”

On the Mount of Olives, in the Garden of Gethsemane, Jesus goes to God in prayer. This was a place Jesus went to regularly. He invites the disciples to pray too, so that they “won’t give in to temptation.” Moving away from them, Jesus prays earnestly, so much so that he sweats profusely and needs angelic strengthening. His prayer reveals both his humanity and his understanding of his purpose. In this hardest moment, Jesus ponders if the “cup of suffering” can be taken away. Then, in obedience, he prays, “not my will but your will must be done.” He returns to the disciples and finds them sleeping, “overcome with grief.”

At times we will struggle or waver. The thing God is asking of us is hard, maybe feels risky, possibly includes a cost. So we teeter. At times we do step forward. Other times we choose the easier way. In our own way we too “sleep,” giving in to the temptation of non-obedience. As we grow in our faith, as we mature, we come to better understand our purpose in the kingdom of God. While we’ll still fail, the frequency lessens.

The story continues as the mob arrives to arrest Jesus. A disciple starts to defend Jesus. He quickly halts the violence, healing the injury, reminding the disciples of who he is and who he is not. Jesus questions the mob – the swords and the clubs. He reminds them of his daily presence in the temple. The implied question is, “Why didn’t you arrest me there?” Jesus answers this unspoken question: “But this is your time, when darkness rules.” In an isolated place, under cover of darkness, Jesus is arrested.

Prayer: Lord God, thank you for this look into Jesus’ humanity, into his struggle. In our battles with obedience, remind us of this moment. May we draw upon strength moving forward, upon grace in failure. Encourage us to be people of the light, shining your love and power into the darkness of this world. Amen.


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Even in the Valley

Reading: Psalm 13:1-2 and 5-6

Psalm 13:6 – “Yes, I will sing to the Lord because he has been good to me.”

Psalm 13 begins with a plea for God to remember and rescue. David is beset by an enemy. This could be physical – like when Saul was pursuing him or when Absalom rebelled. It could be emotional – like when he prayed to God to spare his son born of Bathsheba. David cries out to God: “How long?” In his dire situation he feels alone, like God is nowhere to be found.

At times we feel what David feels. The causes can be physical suffering, emotional battles, relational struggles, spiritual conflict. Addiction, illness, loss, grief… can also place us in the valley. Each of these circumstances and/or emotions can feel isolating. We, like David, can cry out “How long?” to God. In these days or even seasons, it can be hard to hold fast to our faith and to trust in God.

David’s thoughts turn in verse 5. He recalls times when he has trusted in God’s faithful love. We too can recall when God was real and present to us in our time of need. David then declares his faith, stating that his heart “will rejoice in your salvation.” We too can declare God’s promises and claim them as our own. In verse 6 David writes, “Yes, I will sing to the Lord because he has been good to me.” Yes, even in the valley we too can raise a song of praise to the Lord our God. May it be so.

Prayer: Lord God, when we feel all alone, when we cannot sense your nearness, whisper your promises into our ears. Jog our memories and nudge us to recall how you’ve been faithful again and again and again. From this place of faith and trust, put a song in our heart. Thank you, eternal one, for always walking with us. Amen.


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Redeem, Restore, Rescue

Readings: Psalm 137:1-3 and 8, Zechariah 9:9

Zechariah 9:9 – “Rejoice greatly, Daughter Zion. Sing aloud, Daughter Jerusalem. Look, your king will come to you. He is righteous and victorious. He is humble and riding on an ass.”

The people of God had already experienced much trauma leading up to their exile in Babylon. The nation had split into Israel and Judah. Both parts experienced good and bad kings – much more of the latter. Israel, and later Judah were conquered and hauled into exile. It is in this foreign land, living under a pagan oppressor, that Israel’s longing for a Messiah really begins to take shape.

Psalm 137 is a song of lament. In the first few verses the writer expresses the people’s collective sadness. Their captors are forcing them to sing songs of joy. These songs are intended to be sung as they ascend to the temple, preparing themselves to worship God. They were forced to sing these songs out of place, to a God whose home – the temple – was destroyed. It is no wonder that they long for destroyer Babylon to be paid back by the one who will come to redeem and restore Israel.

This longing for a rescuer, for a Messiah, is expressed in Zechariah 9:9. These words will be brought to life by a king riding into Jerusalem on a donkey’s colt. Psalms will be waving and shouts of “Hosanna!” will fill the air. It’s just the Romans who now oppress, who now need overthrown. This is the king that Israel still longs for. It is just not the kind of king that Jesus will prove himself to be. His rescue, redemption, and restoration is not military but personal and spiritual.

Prayer: Lord God, for many the longing for a Messiah remains very real. Today people long to be redeemed and rescued – from an abusive relationship, from addiction, from financial hardship, from illness, from oppression, from injustice… These real struggles weigh upon their hearts, upon our hearts. Lord Jesus, please ride into our hearts, enter through those gates, bringing a peace to the battles, a calm to the chaos, a strength to the weakness, a wholeness to the brokenness. Rescue, redeem, and restore. Amen.


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Not My Will

Reading: Luke 22:39-46

Luke 22:42 – “Not my will but your will must be done.”

We are on the verge of the season of Lent. The 40 days leading up to Easter begin this week with services on Ash Wednesday. The service focuses on our need to be reconciled to God. The ashes remind us of our mortality. They are imposed in the shape of a cross as a reminder of our commitment to Christ. The season of Lent is one of prayer and repentance, preparing ourselves for Easter.

Intentional preparation is part of our faith. We read, study, and meditate on scripture to prepare ourselves for our day to day living. We pray to prepare ourselves for a meeting, an event, a hard conversation. In our passage today Jesus did as he often did. He went to the garden to spend intentional time in prayer. He sought to prepare himself for what lay just ahead: arrest, trial, rejection, suffering…

Jesus invites the disciples to pray too. He knows that they will soon face testing. As Jesus prays he admits his own human struggle, asking God to “take this cup of suffering away.” The divine Jesus knows full well what’s about to befall the human Jesus. Recognizing the necessity of what is about to unfold, Jesus adds, “Not my will but your will must be done.” Strengthened, Jesus prays even more earnestly.

The disciples have fallen asleep, “overcome by grief.” The crowd is on the way to arrest Jesus. The disciples have not prepared themselves. One disciple will act impulsively. Then all of the disciples will flee the scene. Jesus will move forward, empowered by prayer. As we ready ourselves to enter this season of Lent, may we too be empowered by prayer, frequently praying, “Not my will…”

Prayer: Lord God, lead and guide us to be intentional as we enter this season of Lent. May it be a time of earnest prayer, committed study, honest introspection, and whole-hearted repentance. Day by day, may our walk with you prepare us to celebrate Easter resurrection. Amen.


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The Battle with Self

Reading: Galatians 5:13-21

Galatians 5:17 – “A person’s selfish desires are set against the Spirit, and the Spirit is set against one’s selfish desires.”

In Galatians 5:13 Paul reminds the believers that they have been “called to freedom.” Having committed themselves to Jesus Christ, they have died to their old self and have been made new in Christ. They were freed from their old ways and from the power of sin and death. Through grace they are forgiven and made right with God – again and again. Paul warns the believers against returning to their selfish ways. Grace was and is not given so that one can indulge and indulge. Instead Paul calls them away from selfishness and into service through love. This call will fulfill the command to love neighbor as self.

Paul then draws a sharp contrast between living in the way of the Lord and living in the ways of the world. These two ways stand in opposition to one another. He puts it this way in verse 17: “A person’s selfish desires are set against the Spirit, and the Spirit is set against one’s selfish desires.” We know from our own life experiences that this is a constant battle. Our inherent selfishness is always calling us to love self. The Spirit is always calling us to love God and other. The Spirit calls us away from doing “whatever you want to do.”

Paul gives us quite the list of things we do when motivated by selfish motives. This list of 16 behaviors reveal many issues in our world today. We see many of these selfish actions on display each day. And, if we’re being honest, there are several on Paul’s list that we struggle with daily. This is why surrender of self is so important. Guided by the Spirit, we will be called to  selflessness instead of selfishness. Living the way of Jesus, we will build the kingdom of God both in this time and place and in our hearts. Doing both, we await our eternal inheritance. May it be so for you and for me.

Prayer: Lord God, we ask for your Spirit presence in the battle between self and the call to love you and neighbor. On our own we struggle so. The impure thoughts, the unkind words, the selfish actions – they rise up so quickly. Counter this, O God, with the power of the Spirit. Moment by moment, call us to your will and ways. Amen.