pastorjohnb

Thoughts and musings on faith and our mighty God!

Tag Archives: struggle


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Don’t Be Far

Reading: Psalm 22:1-2 and 7-11

Psalm 22:11 – “Please don’t be far from me, because trouble is near.”

Photo credit: Shane Rounce

This week we’ve explored the biblical witness to the reality of heaven (and hell.) As believers there are many times when we experience heaven on earth. We find joy in living with love and hope. We demonstrate our love of God by loving neighbor. We experience blessing through fellowship in the faith community and through God’s presence in Spirit. And there are also times when we feel like David feels in Psalm 22. In a moment of trial or suffering we feel separate from God, experiencing something more like hell on earth.

Verses 1 and 2 express the separation that we feel at times. Where are you God? Why have you left me alone? Why don’t you respond to my pleas and prayers? These are questions we’ve asked and will ask again. They are an honest admission of a very uncomfortable feeling.

In verses 7-8 David shares the trouble that is near. He is suffering and God feels absent. Others ridicule him and his faith in this God who is clearly not rescuing him from this hardship. Then there is a shift in verses 9-11. David remembers his long walk with God – “from birth.” God has always been his God. Oh yes, you’ve always been David’s God. And you are always our God. So David prays, “Please don’t be far from me, because trouble is near.” It is an honest plea to again experience heaven here on earth. In our moments of hardship, may this too be our prayer to God.

Prayer: Lord God, there will be moments when we feel apart from you. Doubt, fear, worry, anger – they can all create this open space. In these moments, O God, remind us too of our long walk with you, of the many, many times when we’ve experienced your presence, hope, love, comfort… Guide us to lean into you, closing the space in between. Amen.


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The Great Commands

Reading: Matthew 22:34-40 and 7:9-12

Matthew 7:12 – “Treat people in the same way that you want people to treat you.”

Photo credit: Shane

In Matthew 22 the Pharisees get together and decide to test or trap Jesus. Their religious rivals, the Sadducees, have just been left speechless after their attempt to trap Jesus in his words. The Pharisees send one forward to test Jesus with a question: What’s the greatest commandment? The Law has 613 (or 623) commands. Which is the most important one Jesus?

Quoting from the Law, Jesus identifies the Deuteronomy law to love God with all that you are. He quickly adds one from Leviticus: “love your neighbor as you love yourself.” For a devout Jew these are the two core commands. These two verses form the heart of a prayer offered each and every day, both morning and night. While the concept of loving God and neighbor is easy to understand, the actual execution of these commands can be very hard. To date, I believe that Jesus is the only one with a 100% success rate.

Jesus offers some practical application tips in chapter 7, verses 9-12. Here he uses parenting as the analogy. If your child asks for bread or fish because they are hungry, who would give them a rock or a snake instead? Well, no good parent would. Jesus then reminds us that the one who loves us as children will do the same and even more. He then generalizes this teaching on loving well to others, adding, “Treat people in the same way that you want people to treat you.” Give that person in need not just bread but some water too. Give that stranger not just a fish but a place to stay too. Just as the Lord our God is good and loving and generous, Jesus says, you do the same.

Prayer: Lord God, the call is clear: love well, love deeply, love genuinely. You have modeled this and your son Jesus modeled it. We have no excuses. We can’t play dumb. Yet we sure can struggle to love you with all that we are and to love others as we love ourselves. Lord, encourage and empower us today to love as you call us to love. When we waver, strengthen us by the power of your Holy Spirit. Thank you, God. Amen.


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Mercy and Grace Persist

Reading: Genesis 3

Genesis 3:9 – “The man and his wife hid themselves from the Lord God.”

Photo credit: Felipe Correia

Continuing on from chapter 2, where we saw God’s desire to care for, to provide for to be in relationship with humanity, today we read of temptation and sin and of the broken relationships these evils produce. The snake, long identified with Satan, “tricks” the woman and man into eating from one of the forbidden trees. The woman initially resists, but the snake persists. Using a half-truth the snake tempts the man and woman enough. They both eat and they see their nakedness. Their initial shame leads them to cover this condition.

Later the man and woman hear God walking in the garden. In verse 8 we read, “The man and his wife hid themselves from the Lord God.” Their continuing shame leads them to try to hide from God. Yet God calls out. Death could have come the moment they ate the forbidden fruit. But here our God of mercy and grace calls out. Yes, there are consequences to their sin, as there often are in our lives. Yet God is right there, fully present to the man and woman. Death will come, eventually, as they are sent out of the garden, seemingly forever away from the tree of life – the tree that would allow them to live forever.

This rebellion in the garden is just the first of many. Countless sins have led to countless breaches in our relationship with God. And equally countless offerings of mercy and grace have reconciled these breaches. This struggle with sin is and will be our reality. The struggle, as John Wesley wrote, “will continue while there is a godly man on this side of heaven, and a wicked man on this side of hell.” Grace and mercy will likewise persist and will eventually triumph on the final day. Thanks be to God.

Prayer: Lord God, it can be easy to read this chapter and to look down on, to judge, to compare. And there sin is again, knocking on the door of our heart. Help us to see ourselves fully present in this story, in the struggle. There we recognize and appreciate and ready ourselves to receive the grace and mercy we so often need. Thank you, Lord, for always having more mercy and grace. Amen.


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At the Center

Reading: Genesis 2:4b-25

Genesis 2:7 – “The Lord formed the human from the topsoil of the fertile land and blew life’s breath into his nostrils.”

Today we read the second creation story. In this narrative, humanity is the centerpiece of the story. After forming the earth and sky, God “formed the human from the topsoil of the fertile land and blew life’s breath into his nostrils.” There is an intimacy to this act. It is not God speaking humanity into being, but God, much like a potter, shaping and forming the human body. God’s very “hands” were at work. Once the physical form is complete, God breathes life into the form. The very “breath” of God gives life to humanity.

God’s next act is to plant a garden, to create a place for this man to live. God provided trees with fruit and a river to irrigate this garden that man was to farm and care for. So that man was not alone, God next forms animals and birds. The man (not the creator) names these creatures. But there is not a “perfect helper” found for the man. So God provides this too. From the rib of the man God fashions a woman. These two beings form a team, a couple.

In this creation story all is done for humanity’s benefit, for their good, to meet their needs. Here we see God’s love for us, for all created in God’s image. God’s expectations of humanity? To love God in return and to care for this creation. As the story continues tomorrow, we see what a challenge this can be.

Prayer: Lord God, thank you for today’s insight into the “why” of creation. You did all this to provide an ideal place for us to live. I feel a deep gratitude for your love and care for humanity that is at the center of your creation process. I am humbled to be your greatest love, along with my brothers and sisters in faith. Lord, help us to love you and your creation in the same way. Amen.


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We Can

Reading: Romans 6:1-8:17

Romans 7:6 – “We can be slaves in the new life under the Spirit, not in the old life under the written law.”

In chapters 6-8 Paul draws heavily upon the image of being a slave. He is drawing upon the understanding of his day, not upon other historical or cultural contexts. Paul calls us to be a “slave to God in Jesus Christ.” He is calling us to an absolute obedience, to a total surrender of self, to a full-on righteous life. This contrasts directly with being a slave to sin. That life centers on selfishness.

Paul begins by reminding us that because Christ was raised to glory, we can walk in the new life. This new life can be empowered by the Spirit. The Spirit living inside of us can lead us to life and peace. It can make us into sons and daughters, into heirs with Christ – if we suffer with Christ so that we can be glorified with him.

Paul speaks honestly of the sin that also dwells within each of us. He encourages us to “not let sin rule your body.” Because he is “flesh and blood,” Paul struggles. He does what he doesn’t want to do and he can’t do what he wants to do. We too know this struggle. The evil that is “right there with me” wages a constant battle with God’s will and way that is also right there inside of us in the Spirit. This reality is why Paul uses “can” a lot in these chapters. Yes, we can choose the good. Yes, we can overcome the evil within. Yes, we can live a holy and righteous Spirit-led life. Yes, we can be a slave to God in Jesus Christ.

On our own, we cannot win this battle. We are not alone. In 8:3 we’re reminded that God has already sent Jesus to “condemn sin in the body.” Through his death and resurrection Jesus became our atoning sacrifice. Grace won, defeating the power of sin and death. Just as Christ surrendered himself, he calls us to also die to selfishness, to “suffer with him so that we can be glorified with him.” We have Christ’s Spirit within. We can do this. May it be so.

Prayer: Lord God, what a battle. Like Paul, we too can struggle mightily to always walk in and with the Spirit of Christ. We so want to. The flesh is weak and the power of evil is great. But your love and grace are greater. With your Spirit, we can walk as a child of the light. Empower and strengthen us today. Amen.


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Day by Day

Reading: John 7:10-8:59

John 8:19 – “You don’t know me and you don’t know my Father. If you knew me, you would also know my Father.”

Much of today’s reading centers around this key verse. In many ways Jesus asserts that he is “I AM” – knowing Jesus is knowing God and vice versa. Some people recognize this truth. Others struggle to see it or to believe in Jesus. Such is the case to this very day.

Almost all of today’s reading is set in the temple. Jesus’ teaching astonishes the Jewish leaders, the people, and even the temple guards sent to arrest him. But the impact of Jesus’ teaching does not travel to everyone’s heart. Some want to arrest him and others believe Jesus is the Christ, God’s son.

Jesus’ authority is questioned again and again by the leaders and the people. Jesus points to the Law and to Abraham’s example, asserting that they don’t keep true to Moses’ words and that they don’t follow Abraham’s actions. Jesus tells them that the devil is their father because they listen to Satan’s lies. As proof, Jesus says, “You don’t know me and you don’t know my Father. If you knew me, you would also know my Father.” They won’t accept God’s words that Jesus speaks, the words that are the light of life and that will set them free from their sin.

At the start of chapter 8 we find the story of the woman caught in adultery. This story generates many questions for me. Where is the man? What did Jesus write on the ground? Did the woman go and sin no more? This story also offers specific truths. We’re all sinners. None of us has right standing to judge or condemn others. Jesus offers us all grace and mercy. We are all called by Jesus to go and sin no more. Day by day may we grow in our capacity to live out these truths and this call.

Prayer: Lord God, like many in today’s text we struggle and we walk in belief some days, in doubt other days. We allow other voices, sometimes our own, to distract us from our walk with you. Lord, ground us in the truth of your word and in the guidance of your Spirit. Lead us to live daily as a repentant sinner saved by grace and as an unconditionally loved child of the one true God. Amen.


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The Spirit Gives Life

Reading: John 6:22-7:10

John 6:51 – “Whoever eats this bread will live forever, and the bread that I will give for the life of this world is my flesh.”

After feeding the 5,000, the crowd realizes that Jesus is “missing.” They follow the disciples by boat to Capernaum and find Jesus already there. They ask how he got there. Ignoring their question he implies they are looking for more bread. Jesus encourages them to work for “food that endures for eternal life” – the food that he will give. The crowd wants to know what to do to receive this bread. Just believe in the one sent by God. The crowd, though, wants a sign, something like the manna. Their hearts and minds are stuck in the concrete and tangible. Jesus tries to get them to understand the spiritual.

Jesus first reminds them that it was not Moses who gave the manna. He says that in the same way God has once again sent bread from heaven. The crowd desires this bread. To them Jesus says, “I am the bread of life.” Eat and never be hungry. Believe and have eternal life. Their ancestors are manna and died. Eat from Jesus and never die. He declares, “Whoever eats this bread will live forever, and the bread that I will give for the life of this world is my flesh.”

The crowd is lost. How can one literally eat his flesh and drink his blood? Jesus says this is necessary to remain in him and for him to remain in them. They are stuck in the literal. They grumble. This is a hard teaching. Jesus reminds them that the Spirit gives true life. He’s inviting them to think spiritually. The flesh cannot do this. God must enable people to believe in and to receive Jesus. Many cannot hear what Jesus is saying. Many turn away and no longer follow him.

Jesus asks the 12 if they want to leave too. Peter asks, “Where would we go?” Peter declares that Jesus holds the words of eternal life and is the one sent by God. The 12 believe. Jesus’ brothers struggle. They want him to go to Judea, to “show yourself to the world.” Jesus tells this his time has not come yet. Or has it come?…

Prayer: Lord God, sometimes we too get stuck, get hung up on something, fail to understand. Here we too can struggle with belief. In these moments, Lord, may the Holy Spirit lead and guide us, opening our hearts and minds to your will, your way, your plan, your purposes. You are truly the word of life. Thank you. Amen.


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To Do as You Did

Reading: John 5:1-6:21

John 5:19 – “I assure you that the Son can’t do anything by himself… Whatever the Father does, the Son does likewise.”

Photo credit: Felipe Correia

Our reading begins with a healing on the Sabbath. At the pool called Bathsaida, a sick man has been trying to get into the waters for 38 years. Jesus asks him, “Do you want to get well?” The man explains his dilemma: others get in first because he has no one to help him. Jesus says, “Get up! Pick up your mat and walk.” The man does. The Jewish leaders get on the man for carrying his mat on the Sabbath. It is work. Later, when it is revealed that Jesus healed the man, these leaders harass Jesus. He replies, “My Father is still working, and I am working too.” The leaders want to kill Jesus even more.

This tension leads to a long response from Jesus. He begins by declaring, “I assure you that the Son can’t do anything by himself… Whatever the Father does, the Son does likewise.” The Father gives life so the Son gives life. If people hear Jesus’ words and believe, they will have eternal life. This choice will lead to doing good things, which will lead to the “resurrection of life.” To refuse to believe? That choice leads to doing wicked things and to the “resurrection of judgment.” Jesus reminds them of John the Baptist’s testimony – which they almost believed – and of Moses’ testimony about the Messiah. Jesus’ response ends with a question: If you don’t believe Moses’ words, how will you believe my words?

Leaving there, Jesus crosses the Sea of Galilee. A large crowd follows. Jesus tests Philip by asking about feeding them. Andrew finds a boy with five loaves and two fish. Jesus seats the people and then blesses and multiplies the food. All “had plenty to eat.” Twelve baskets of leftovers are gathered. This “manna” in the wilderness leads the people to think about making Jesus their king. He slips away up the mountain.

As the disciples struggle to cross back over, three or four miles into the journey, Jesus comes to them, walking on the water. Into their fear he says, “I am. Don’t be afraid.” They reach solid ground. Jesus is with them. All is again well. May it be so for you and for me.

Prayer: Lord God, taking on flesh you were healing, loving, feeding, doing good. Be Christ in us, leading us to do as you did. Amen.


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Real Stories

Reading: Mark 14

Mark 14:31 – “But Peter insisted, ‘If I must die alongside you, I won’t deny you.’ And they all said the same thing.”

Just before the Passover, Jesus is in Bethany. A woman anoints Jesus with some very expensive perfume, preparing his body for burial. Although the disciples think this is a waste, Jesus defends her and tells them that her actions will be remembered and told as part of the good news. Judas leaves and agrees to betray Jesus.

Gathering the 12, Jesus celebrates the Passover. Again his instructions about how and where come true. Jesus announces his betrayal and they all ask, “It’s not me, is it?” While eating the meal Jesus says of the bread, “Take, this is my body.” Taking the cup, he says, “This is my blood of the covenant, which is poured out for many.” After singing praises, they head out to the Mount of Olives.

There, Jesus tells them they will all fall away. Peter boldly declares his loyalty to Jesus. But Jesus says to Peter, before the roosters crowd twice you’ll deny me three times. Peter insists, “If I must die alongside you, I won’t deny you.” The other eleven say the same thing. Yet when asked to pray with and for Jesus, they all fall asleep. Jesus struggles with the coming suffering, yet remains committed to God’s plan and purposes.

Judas then comes with a mob and betrays Jesus with a kiss. Jesus is arrested and all the disciples run away. We too profess a faith willing to die for Jesus yet in those moments when discipleship has a cost, how often we too run away. A sham trial seals Jesus’ fate. It is Jesus’ words of truth that actually condemn him.

We close today with Peter living our Jesus’ words. Three times Peter denies being with Jesus. The rooster crows. Peter recalls Jesus’ words and breaks down in tears. We too are familiar with failing Jesus and with the feelings of remorse. They too are signs of our humanity. And they are a step on the path of mercy and grace. Thanks be to God for both.

Prayer: Lord God, how real today’s stories are. Sometimes we are the woman – a part of a story of faith. Sometimes we are Peter – sure of our rock solid faith yet so vulnerable to fear. And sometimes we’re Judas – betraying you with our words and actions. No matter what, though, you love us just the same. For your great and unconditional love, we say thank you. Amen.


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Service and Sacrifice

Reading: Mark 9-10

Mark 10:24 – “Children, how hard it is to enter the kingdom of God!”

Photo credit: Shane Rounce

The transfiguration of Jesus begins today’s readings. On a mountain top with Peter, James, and John, Jesus becomes “amazingly bright.” Elijah and Moses come and talk with Jesus. God speaks, saying, “This is my Son, whom I dearly love. Listen to him!” These words echo God’s words at Jesus’ baptism. Coming down the mountain Jesus finds a hubbub. The disciples were unable to cast out a demon. Jesus laments the lack of faith. The father begs Jesus for his son’s healing and admits his own lack of faith. Jesus casts out the demon. How do you think this affected the father’s lack of faith?

Jesus tells the disciples once again of his coming death. They, in turn, argue about who is the greatest among them. Jesus gathers the disciples and reminds them that the first will be the least, the servant. He explains that there is a cost to being a follower. It might cost a hand or foot or eye if that leads one into sin. Jesus is telling them to do anything to avoid sin and disobedience to God.

A rich man comes and asks about obtaining eternal life. He has kept the commands faithfully. After Jesus “looked at him carefully and loved him,” he is instructed to sell all that he has. The man goes away sad. Jesus goes on to say, “Children, how hard it is to enter the kingdom of God!” Much can get between us and Jesus. It’s not just our wealth or our possessions. When Jesus looks carefully at our hearts, what does he see that vies for the throne of our hearts?

Once again Jesus tells of his death. This time he is very clear. James and John come with a request: to sit at Jesus’ left and right in heaven. Power is their struggle. Jesus, with great patience, again tells the 12 that the greatest will be the servant and the first will be slave to all. Jesus again reminds them – and us – that he came not to be served but to serve and to give his life “to liberate many people.” May we too choose service and sacrifice.

Prayer: Lord God, humble servant, slave to all, keeping you #1 in our hearts – no, discipleship is not easy. We must first die to self – the greatest barrier to walking humbly and obediently. Guide us in this necessary and daily act of surrender. Grant us the faith and trust, the strength and courage to do so each day. Amen.