pastorjohnb

Thoughts and musings on faith and our mighty God!

Tag Archives: struggle


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Trust in God, Wait with Hope

Reading: Habakkuk 1-3

Habakkuk 3:2 – “LORD, I have heard your reputation. I have seen your work. Over time, revive it. Over time, make it known.”

Habakkuk has a chat with God. The chat revolves around why God allows the righteous to suffer while the wicked prosper. Habakkuk struggles to understand how a good God could allow such evil to exist. We continue to wrestle with these struggles today.

The book begins with a question: “Lord, how long will I call for help and you will not listen?” This is a question we’ve all raised. Habakkuk cries out about the violence and injustice. God responds, “I’m about to rouse the Chaldeans.” Babylon will sweep in, taking “captives like sand.” Habakkuk questions how God could choose to use this evil empire, the one that sacrifices to its own strength. He declares that he will “take my post” as he waits for God to respond.

God responds with a vision. Habakkuk is to clearly write it down on tablets. This vision is for an appointed time. While they will wait for it, God declares, “For it is surely coming; it will not be late.” God tells Habakkuk that the righteous will live honestly. The arrogant – the ones who are never satisfied – they will fall. The ones who plundered will be plundered. Doom is coming to all who trust in idols. The Lord is holy. At the appointed time, the earth will be silent before the Lord.

Habakkuk then goes to the Lord in prayer. He begins, “LORD, I have heard your reputation. I have seen your work. Over time, revive it. Over time, make it known.” He trusts that God will one day “tread the nations,” defeating wickedness. Habakkuk trusts into God’s vision for the future. Right now the fig doesn’t blossom. Right now the pens and stalls are empty. But right now, Habakkuk declares, “I will rejoice in the Lord… my deliverance… my strength.” He chooses to trust in God. He chooses to wait with hope. May we choose to do the same when we are suffering, when we are in the struggle. God is loving. God is faithful.

Prayer: Lord God, when we are struggling with the evil in the world, when we are questioning your activity or inactivity in the world, lead us to use Habakkuk as our guide. May we lay our lament before you. May we trust in you to respond. May we choose a bold faith, one that trusts and hopes in you alone. Amen.


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The Ebb and Flow

Reading: Psalm 119:89-176

‭Psalm 119:159 – “Look at how much I love your precepts. Make me live again, LORD!”

The first half of Psalm 119 painted a picture of a new and growing faith. In verses 89-176 we find a more mature faith, one that quickly turns to God, one that expects God to act on behalf of the faithful. The overarching theme of these 11 sections can be summed up in today’s key verse: “Look at how much I love your precepts. Make me live again, LORD!” Much like Job, the psalmist wrestles with the good/reward, bad/punish framework of the ancient faith. We wrestle with this too.

This wrestling can be found in verses 126-127 and in 165-166. In the first the psalmist almost demands God’s actions because others have “broken” God’s law and because he or she loves the law more than gold. In verse 165 the statement is made that the faithful enjoy peace and do not stumble. Then in 166 the psalmist says, “Lord, I want your saving help.” I’m good, God. You should save me!

Throughout these sections we also find a consistent theme of loving God’s law and being angry at or hating those who don’t love God’s law. We see this played out in the New Testament too as the religious leaders clashed with Jesus and then with his followers. They couldn’t stomach how Jesus ate with and touched sinners. We too can be a bit like this. We can look down our noses at those who aren’t acting or believing like we act and believe. We can struggle with brothers and sisters in Christ who seek to minister to “those” people.

Overall these sections of Psalm 119 paint an accurate picture of our faith – for good and for bad. We sincerely want to know, understand, and live out God’s will and ways. We can judge and demand. And we can find ourselves as the psalmist did in verse 176: “I’ve wandered off like a sheep, lost.” And we can pray as the psalmist prayer: “Find your servant because I haven’t forgotten your commandments!” No, likely they’re just conveniently misplaced. Lord, help us.

Prayer: Lord God, the ebb and flow is part of the journey. The call to love the least wrestles with our inclinations towards judgment and condemnation. How fickle we are too. So, yes, help us Lord to know you more, to love you more completely, to serve more steadfastly. Continue to gather us back in. Shepherd us on your path. Amen.


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An Extension

Readings: Psalms 108-112

‭Psalm 111:3 – “God’s deeds are majestic and glorious. God’s righteousness stands forever.”

Psalms 108 and 109 seek God’s presence in the struggles against enemies. Psalm 108 begins with praise to God. The psalmist’s “unwavering heart” will make music for all people, proclaiming God’s faithful love. The Psalm celebrates God choosing Gilead, Manasseh… and rejecting Moab, Edom… Yet the writer turns in verse 11, asking the familiar question: Where are you, God? The psalmist asks for God’s help because “human help is worthless.” Psalm 109 seeks God’s help too – just on a personal level. Verses 6-19 detail the “hateful words” spoken by the enemies. From a place of weakness the psalmist begs God to shame and disgrace his or her enemies.

Psalm 110 speaks of kingship. It invites God’s presence with the king, allowing the “mighty scepter” to reach far. The psalmist calls to mind God’s “solemn pledge” to establish the kings. The Psalm closes with a reminder that God’s justice will reign.

Psalms 111 and 112 are similar. They praise God’s work and the workings of a righteous life. There is a parallel here. In Psalm 111 the psalmist praises God’s works as magnificent, majestic, and glorious. God’s righteousness, mercy, and compassion are celebrated. God’s handiwork is honesty and justice. God brings redemption. It closes proverbially: “Fear of the Lord is where wisdom begins.” Psalm 112 echoes these traits of God. The people of God are to be an extension of God. We are to be righteous and generous, merciful and compassionate. In the end, then, we too will see our enemies’ defeat. Death and pain and oppression and struggle will be no more. Thanks be to God.

Prayer: Lord God, your presence is what we need. Whether beset by enemies or praising your glorious reign, we need your presence. On the stormy days and on the days of joy and peace, be present to us, O God. Guide us to walk and live faithfully, shining your love onto and into the world. Amen.


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Ups, Downs, Highs, Lows

Readings: Psalms 85-89

‭Psalm 86:2 – “Guard my life because I am faithful. Save your servant who trusts in you — you! My God!”

Photo credit: Franzie Allen Miranda

Today’s Psalms rise and fall like the highs and lows of our lives. Like these Psalms, our faith can bounce from “Praise God!” to “Where are you, God?” more often than we’d like. Psalm 85, for example, begins with thanks for God’s forgiveness then quickly pivots to a God who seems angry, who yet needs to forgive their sins. The Psalm closes beautifully and with hope. “Truth springs up… righteousness looks down.” Walk with the Lord!

Psalm 86 begins with a series of petitions, each followed by a “because.” In verse 2, for example, we read, “Guard my life because I am faithful. Save your servant who trusts in you — you! My God!” Do these things, God, because I have faith! After celebrating times when God was faithful, the psalmist invites God to act once again: “Come back to me! Have mercy on me!” A faithful one asks, “Where are you, God?”

A short Psalm 87 celebrates that those from Zion are blessed.

Next we turn to Psalm 88. Frankly, it is hard to read. It is a lament that goes down and down, ending in hopelessness. The psalmist cries out to God but feels beyond help. Friends have abandoned the writer. It feels like God has too. The Psalm concludes: “My only friend is darkness.” So why read Psalms like this? There is a really good reason. They remind us that life is not easy. Many people end up here. If you’re not one, then read this Psalm and allow yourself to feel the pain and darkness. The connection will bring a measure of empathy to how you minister to those who walk in the darkness.

We close with Psalm 89 as book 3 ends. A lengthy remembrance of God’s power and of God’s promises to David and his dynasty is followed by 15 verses that ask where God is. It seems that God has broken the covenant. It begs God to let the anger pass. There is an implied plea for restoration. Because you promised this God and because I am faithful… We can certainly relate.

Prayer: Lord God, we encounter so many ups and downs, so many highs and lows today in our readings. Thank you, Lord, for the reminder. We all struggle. We all need support, encouragement, understanding – from you and from one another. We can all offer these things to others. Guide us, O God, each day. As we receive, may we give. Amen.


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Cycle 1

Readings: Job 6, – Job 14

Job 11:7 – “Can you find the secret of God or find the extent of the Almighty?”

Today’s readings complete the first cycle of Job’s conversations (arguments?) with his three “friends.” This pattern occurs two more times. In chapters 6-7 Job speaks. He longs for his suffering to end. He again reasserts his innocence. Job accuses his friends of disloyalty and then he asks them to help him understand his situation. And then he asks to be left alone. These are thoughts and feelings that we’ve all had in times of suffering.

Bildad responds by inviting Job to look to the past. There Job will see a God of justice and faithfulness. He advises Job to turn to God, to confess and repent, and then God will “fill your mouth with joy.” Job counters by asking if anyone can truly be innocent before God. Even though no one can contend with God’s power, Job still wants a contest (or trial) with the God who “destroys the blameless and the sinners.” Quite an accusation! But in a moment of realization, Job speaks of a mediator – one who could stand impartially between God and Job. Then Job’s case could be heard. As chapter 10 closes, a darkness descends. Job longs for death, even wishes he wasn’t even born.

Zophar responds, reminding Job of God’s wisdom that is far beyond Job’s understanding – but within Zophar’s! Oh that Job would just confess and repent. Then Job could “lift up your face without blemish.” Job responds by acknowledging God’s superiority but quickly reminds Zophar that he is not superior to Job. He again claims his innocence and longs to just speak with God. His life is now nothing. What does he have to lose?

In chapter 14 Job bookends a hopeful thought with the realities of life. We bloom and then whither like a flower. Life is too short. In verse 13 Job speaks a hopeful but impossible thought: if God would just place him in Sheol until God’s anger passed. Then God could restore Job. Cycle two begins tomorrow!

Prayer: Lord God, what swings of emotion and thought. What ups and downs as Job and his friends try and make sense of all this suffering. We too wrestle with these things. We too get caught up in our struggles and trials. When we do, Lord, pull us back to the reality of your sure and steadfast love. Amen.


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One Problem

Readings: Job 1, Job 2, Job 3, Job 4, Job 5

Job 1:21 – “The LORD has given; the LORD has taken; bless the LORD’s name.”

Photo credit: Marek Pospisil

We begin Job today. Whereas in Esther there was a threat of suffering that prompted action, in Job the suffering comes – in one huge jolt. Both Esther and Job “argue” against the universally held belief of the time: obey God and be blessed, disobey God and be punished.

As Job begins the narrator makes a very important statement for us to hold to as we read this book: Job is honest and full of integrity; he fears God and avoids evil. Job is so righteous, in fact, he makes sacrifices just in case his children have sinned. Because Job is righteous, in ancient thoughts, he should not suffer. But suffer he does! At the hands of the Adversary, Job loses all his livestock, his servants, and all 10 children. This would lead a lesser man to curse God. Not Job. He says, “The LORD has given; the LORD has taken; bless the LORD’s name.” Job too operates, at least for now, under the blessing and punishment paradigm.

To further test Job’s faith the Adversary receives permission to afflict Job’s health. Severe sores cover his whole body. Job’s wife – who has also experienced this rush of loss and who knows herself to be innocent of sin – encourages Job to just curse God and die. Why fight it? But Job responds much the same way: how can one accept good from God but not bad from God as well? Again the paradigm.

Job’s three friends arrive. Eliphaz, Bildad, and Zophar sit with Job for seven days. They too look at Job in his present state and assume that he is a great sinner. Why else would this happen to him? Job speaks first, rueing the day he was born. In the religious thinking of the day, there was no concept yet of an afterlife. The greatest gift of God was life itself. Job wishes that he had never received this gift. This is an indication of Job’s struggle to understand what is happening to him.

Eliphaz responds. He sees Job as a sinner who needs to repent. This drives all that he says. If one “plows sin” then one “sows trouble.” He encourages Job to put his case to God. He reminds Job that God wants to forgive and will bind up and heal. One problem: Job is sinless. What case can he possibly bring before God?

Prayer: Lord God, what wrestling we begin today! Suffering and loss continue to be a part of our lives and our world. Questions continue to abound! As we walk with Job, his friends, with you, help us to gain understanding and insight into who you really are: not the cause but the one who walks with us. Amen.


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Good, Evil, Good, Evil…

Readings: 2nd Chronicles 25, 2nd Chronicles 26, 2nd Chronicles 27, 2nd Chronicles 28

2nd Chronicles 25:15 – “Why do you seek the gods of this people? They couldn’t even deliver their own people from you!”

Amaziah begins today’s readings about the kings of Judah. He did what was right in God’s eyes – mostly. In verse 2 we read, “but not with all his heart.” I think this is typical of most Christians today, myself included. We want to and try to follow God faithfully and obediently but the flesh inside each of us rises to the top now and then. This seems to be a part of being human.

Amaziah leads and administers well. He has successes. Then he decides to worship false gods. A prophet comes to him and asks, “Why do you seek the gods of this people? They couldn’t even deliver their own people from you!” Great questions. He gets angry at the prophet. In arrogance and foolishness he challenges King Joash of Israel. Judah and Amaziah are soundly defeated, humiliated, and looted. Amaziah is killed by his own people. Uzziah succeeds him. As long as the prophet Hezekiah is instructing him, Uzziah is faithful and has success. He becomes powerful and wealthy and famous. Arrogance sets in and he begins to worship false gods. The priest Azariah confronts Uzziah burning incense in the temple. Uzziah gets angry and God gives him a skin disease. Uzziah lives isolated the rest of his life. His son Jotham runs the kingdom.

Jotham becomes king next and does right by God. He rebuilds and wins battles. Ahaz succeeds him as king after 16 years. Ahaz is thoroughly evil. He worships Baal. He burns his sons alive in the altar of a pagan god. He suffers massive defeats. Israel shows great mercy and faithfulness, caring for and returning prisoners taken in battle. Even this faithful act does not change Ahaz’s evil heart. He instead aligns himself with Assyria, inviting disaster upon Judah. His reign ends by closing up the temple and the destruction of the temple equipment – by Ahaz. He is not buried with the other kings.

Prayer: Lord God, lessons learned: faithful -> good things… disobedient -> bad things. These are connections we know and understand. Yet we can struggle to be faithful and obedient. Lord, help us in our daily walks of faith. Strengthen us in our moments of weakness and temptation. Help us through. Amen.


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Home

Reading: Psalm 107:1-7

Verse 6: “They cried out to the Lord in their trouble, and he delivered them from their distress.”

Psalm 107 opens with a call to give thanks to God because God is good and loving. And because God “redeemed [them] from the hand of the foe.” God most recently rescued them from exile and gathered the people of God back to Israel. Yes, this is a great reason to bring praise and thanksgiving to God. When has God redeemed or rescued you most recently from a time of exile or wilderness wandering? Pause and offer God a moment of praise and thanksgiving for God’s goodness and love.

Moving into verses 4-5 the psalmist details some of their struggles. The people wandered without a home. During the Exodus wilderness time and during the exile in Babylon, the people were without a true home. They were lost spiritually too, often quarreling with and questioning God. The sense of being without a home raises up insecurities and fears, leading often to an increase in feelings of hopelessness and despair. In the struggle it can feel like our life is ebbing away. This all can, in turn, lead us to a hunger and thirst for God’s presence in our lives. Pause and reflect on a time when you felt this way. When did you feel without a faith home, without an assurance of God’s presence in your life?

In verse 6 we read, “They cried out to the Lord in their trouble, and he delivered them from their distress.” In their exile or wilderness or struggle, they got to the point of crying out to God. We too will reach that point. Our efforts have failed. Like it was with Israel, God will come in and deliver us too. God will help us back onto the “straight way,” rebuilding our relationship with and our trust and faith in God, bringing us back home. God is good and loving. Thanks be to God!

Prayer: Lord God, you are faithful and true, loving and forgiving. Time and time again I have cried out to you. Time and time again you are right there, becoming present to me in the exile or wilderness, walking with me through the struggle. I beg you to continue to walk with me as I desire to walk with you. Amen.


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People of Forgiveness

Reading: Matthew 18:28-35

Verse 33: “Shouldn’t you have had mercy on your fellow servant just as I had on you?”

As we continue today in the gospel lesson for this week, we see that the servant now goes out, fresh from being forgiven a huge debt. But instead of being filled with joy and good will he latches onto a fellow servant who owes his a small sum. Demanding payment and refusing to be patient, he has the man thrown into jail, where he will remain until the debt is paid.

Other servants see what has happened. Knowing how great a debt this man has been forgiven, they are “greatly distressed” by how he treats his fellow servant. They go to the king to right this great wrong. It all is so unfair. I don’t know about you, but I have and I can act this way at times. I know that God and others have forgiven me for things big and small and every place in between. I did not deserve to be forgiven some of the time. Yet I was. Even knowing all this and being so grateful for such mercy and grace, I can struggle to forgive someone for the smallest thing. I get stubborn or arrogant or prideful and it becomes hard to let something go, to get to the place of forgiveness. At times I’m not so unlike this forgiven servant.

The king (God, right?) is so upset with this man that he says, “You wicked servant.” He reminds the man (us) of how much was forgiven. Then he asks this pointed question: “Shouldn’t you have had mercy on your fellow servant just as I had on you?” It is a great reminder for us. The man is then thrown into prison (hell). Jesus closes the parable by reminding us all that God will treat us this way too if we refuse to forgive one another. Each Sunday we pray for the ability and strength to do just this. May this passage and our weekly prayer reminder help us to be people of forgiveness always and without condition or limit. This is what God offers us. May we go and do likewise.

Prayer: Lord God, without your grace and mercy that leads to forgiveness, I would face a most dreadful future. Without practicing your model of grace, mercy, and forgiveness, my relationships would be a shambles. Thank you for showing me the way to truly live and love. Empower me to live it out daily. Amen.


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Accountability

Reading: Romans 14:1-12

Verse 10: “You, then, why do you judge your brother or sister? Or why do you treat them with contempt?”

Photo credit: Ditto Bowo

Our Epistle reading begins with the directive to accept others without passing judgment. I’m not sure if the first or second is harder to adhere to. Maybe both are an equal struggle as they are so closely related. This seemed to be the case for the church in Rome. It remains a big struggle in many of our churches today.

In what Paul terms “disputable matters” these Christians are struggling to allow for understandings and practices that are different from their own. The Gentile Christians thought their faith was “stronger” because they didn’t have to follow all of these rules to maintain their relationship with Jesus. Thus, they viewed the Jewish Christians as “weak.” The Jews, for example, only ate vegetables as a way to keep the Jewish food purity laws concerning meat. It was hard to find meat that they were sure was kosher in that pagan culture of Rome. The Gentile believers saw this as a weakness of faith because they themselves could eat anything and still be right with God.

Paul reminds all of those in the church that “none of us lives to himself [or herself] alone.” Instead, he insists, “we belong to the Lord” – both in life and in death. With these truths in mind, Paul then asks these two pointed questions: “You, then, why do you judge your brother or sister? Or why do you treat them with contempt?” He reminds us that if Jesus submitted to the point of death on a cross, then we should submit to unity in spite of minor differences in understanding and practice. He closes with a sober reminder: one day we will all come before the judgment seat. May our accounting of how we treated our brothers and sisters in Christ bring glory to God.

Prayer: Lord God, it’s so easy to slip into judging and looking down on others. It’s an area of weakness for me. Jesus set the example – engaging others as equal, worthy, beloved, valued. Build up my inner being and remove my weakness so that I can better live like Jesus. Amen.