pastorjohnb

Thoughts and musings on faith and our mighty God!

Tag Archives: embarrassment


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Act Differently

Reading: Proverbs 25 and 26

‭Proverbs 26:21 – “Like adding charcoal to embers or wood to fire, quarrelsome people kindle strife.”

Removing the dross from the silver is like removing the evil from the royal court – a beautiful vessel is the result. Removing arrogance and pride not only avoids some embarrassment, it could lead to honor and recognition. Removing fuel from the fire and gossip from conversations both cool the situation. Removing the selfish and evil from our lives yields good outcomes.

Much is said about a lying tongue. False testimony is like a club or sword to the victim. A lying tongue crushes and brings destruction to those affected. The sage compares smooth lips and an evil heart to silver coating on clay – both can look or sound good from a distance but it is oh so fragile underneath.

Fools are slow to learn. They repeat their mistakes often so they are like “a dog jwho returns to their vomit.” Neither makes much sense but both happen. Those without self-control are like a breached city – no walls or filters. So just as a whip is used to control a horse so too must a rod be used on a fool’s back.

The wise act differently. Their words calm strife and build up. These words are like “golden apples in a silver setting.” Instead of making fun of or ignoring their enemies when they’re hungry or thirsty, a wise person gives them food and drink. The wise understand that compassion is much more powerful than hate or anger. So too may our words and actions bring healing and wholeness, peace and hope.

Prayer: Lord God, while it seems so, so clear that wisdom and humility are the much better choices, we can be selfish, we can speak hurtful words, we can gossip and tear down, we can play the fool. So, Lord, help us. Send the Holy Spirit to whisper in our ear when we venture down the wrong path. May the Spirit shout if need be. May the nudge become a shove too if we’re not quite seeing how we’ve gone down the wrong path. Help us, Lord, to be love and healing to our broken world. Amen.


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Reconciliation and Restoration

Reading: Matthew 18: 15-17

Verse 15: “If your brother sins against you, go and show him his fault, just between the two of you”.

Today’s passage from Matthew 18 is about seeking the reconciliation and restoration of a relationship when it has been damaged. Above all else, Jesus’ call was to love one another. As the song goes, that’s how the world will know that we are Christians. This is especially true within the church. Here our love should be genuine and pure. It must be modeled in the church and in our relationships with one another. Jesus knew that the church would be just like all other organizations in one way: it is made up of imperfect people prone to sin and selfishness. As such, he knew that there would be conflicts and disagreements within the body of Christ. In today’s three verses we find practical steps for how to resolve conflict, especially in the church.

The causes for conflicts and disagreements can the gamut. The divide can be over deeply theological issues or it can be about painting a wall. Almost all issues, regardless of the root causes, will have deep ramifications for churches and individuals if left unresolved. So Jesus gives steps to avoid this. When conflict arises or when someone hurts or sins against another, the first step is personal. Jesus says, “If your brother sins against you, go and show him his fault, just between the two of you”. Yes, this is hard for most of us to do. But it does provide the necessary space for being open and transparent. No one else is there to impress or to save face in front of. Going to someone directly lets them know you value them and your relationship with them enough to risk for them. It provides a space for honesty and open dialogue. Most often this step leads to reconciliation and to a deeper relationship.

Sometimes this first step does not work. Pride or who can intervene. Embarrassment or lack of understanding can also create a barrier to resolution. Jesus advises us to then take along one or two others to help guide the conversation. By involving others we often open up the conversation and find new ways to seek reconciliation. As a group we can often work things out that two struggle to do on their own. When this step fails, Jesus directs us to get even more help figuring out the conflict. He tells us to bring the matter before the whole congregation.

Both of these last two steps often involve some soul searching on our part. The sin may be obvious and surely needs correction. But if there is grey or doubt, it is a call for a time of sincere prayer and honest self-reflection. This step is always a good thing. The Holy Spirit will clarify and lead us to our best approach to the situation. Jesus does not want any division in the body. By going to the throne in prayer we are inviting Christ to guide us to reconciliation. When we invite him, he will always go with you!

Prayer: Loving God, lead and guide our conversations and relationships to be safe enough to tread into these uncomfortable spaces. May your Holy Spirit show us the way to unity and reconciliation within our Christian relationships and within our churches. Amen.