pastorjohnb

Thoughts and musings on faith and our mighty God!

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Fear, Shame, Guilt…

Readings: Matthew 26:69-75 and 27:3-10, 15-26

Matthew 27:24 – “So he took water and washed his hands in front of the crowd.”

Photo credit: Falaq Lazuardi

Today’s readings contain denial, betrayal, and giving in to social pressure. These actions are driven by fear, shame, guilt, regret, greed, power. These are actions and emotions that we too wrestle with as we try to walk faithfully with our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.

Peter had followed the mob who had arrested Jesus – at a distance. He feared being caught up in what was happening. In the high priest’s courtyard, Peter is accused three times of being with Jesus. Each time Peter’s denial of Jesus grows stronger as the fear rises. His fear turns to shame as the rooster crows. When was the last time that you denied Jesus, either in word or deed? What “crowed” to lead you to tears?

Judas agreed to betray Jesus for thirty pieces of silver. Seeing that Jesus is condemned to die, Judas feels “deep regret” for betraying “an innocent man.” The religious leaders refuse to change course. Guilt and regret lead Judas to take his own life. When have you felt deep regret because you betrayed Jesus? How did you resolve your inner turmoil?

Pilate has the power of life and death in his hands. He tries to free Jesus. His wife tells him to “leave that righteous man alone.” Tension builds and Pilate gives in to the mounting social pressure. To try to relieve his guilt and regret, he “took water and washed his hands in front of the crowd.” Pilate allows the power to slip through his fingers like the water slips through. We’ve all given in to the crowd, turning away from Jesus. What do you do to relieve your guilt and regret?

Prayer: Lord God, it is hard to admit, but at times we’ve played the roles of Peter, Judas, and Pilate. When we’ve failed you, we’ve felt what they feel. It is our human nature rising up to protect self, position, status… In our next moments of testing, Lord, raise up the voice of your Holy Spirit. May it be louder and stronger than our fear, shame, guilt… And when we fail, remind us of your unconditional love and endless grace. Amen.


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Human Wants

Readings: Nehemiah 5, Nehemiah 6, Nehemiah 7

Nehemiah 6:16 – “The nations around us were afraid and their confidence was greatly shaken. They knew that this work was completed with the help of our God.”

Internal unrest almost derails the building process. Taxes had gone up due to Persia’s growing war with Greece. A famine has set in. As is almost always the case, these factors hit the poor the hardest. And is often the case, the wealthy and powerful take advantage of the most vulnerable. How little things have changed in 2,000+ years. The poor (roughly 95% of the population) find themselves indebted to the small landowning class. The poor are losing what little they have. Some children have become slaves and more are on their way. The righteous Nehemiah intervenes on behalf of the poor. Land and homes and interest and slaves are returned or freed. The work continues.

External opposition attempts to strike next. Sanballat and Geshem try to lure Nehemiah away to a quiet secluded place… Their human want is for power. They want to eliminate this political rival. After Nehemiah refuses four invitations, they send a letter accusing him of treasonous acts. He replies, “You are simply inventing this.” Tobiah and Sanballat try hiring an Israelite to sullen Nehemiah’s reputation. But God helps him to see and avoid this trap as well.

The wall is finished – in 52 days! This is so amazing that “The nations around us were afraid and their confidence was greatly shaken. They knew that this work was completed with the help of our God.” The gate doors are built and hung. The priests and Levites are appointed to their roles. Hanani and Hananiah are appointed to rule over Jerusalem. This should be easy – it’s almost uninhabited at this point. No homes have been rebuilt. Nehemiah then registers all the families that returned from exile. This list is almost an exact match to the one in Ezra 2 – except there are more singers. The people return to their towns and villages. The spiritual work on the people’s hearts begins in tomorrow’s reading.

Prayer: Lord God, you walk faithfully with Nehemiah and with your people. Yet some forget. This leads to the human tendency to want to accumulate. This want resides in us too. When that tendency surfaces – whether for things or for power – when that desires calls, remind us that we are to be stewards not hoarders, caretakers not overlords. Remind us of our call to love all of your children. Amen.


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The Way

Reading: Psalm 50: 1-8 & 22-23

Verse 7: “Hear, O my people, and I will speak, O Israel, and I will testify against you; I am God, your God”.

Within the 150 Psalms we find a variety of types or styles. Psalm 50 is a Psalm of judgment. We prefer the Psalms that praise God, that remind us of God’s love and care, that bring us comfort. Psalm 50 is a testimony against the people. Their sins have angered God and judgment is upon God’s lips. Verses one through six remind the people of who and what God is. God is in charge, God will gather the people, a fire is before and a tempest is around God. God summons the people to judge them.

In verse seven God opens the case against Israel. In this verse we read, “Hear, O my people, and I will speak, O Israel, and I will testify against you; I am God, your God”. Prepare yourselves, Israel. It is about to begin. In verses eight through 21, which we did not read today, God lays out the case. In the first half, God addresses the sacrifices. Thank offerings are good, but otherwise – well, God has no need of animal flesh and blood. In fact, God owns all the animals, birds, cattle… anyway. Starting in verse sixteen God addresses the sins: the people ignore God’s words, they are thieves and adulterers, they speak evil. This section ends with, “But I will rebuke you and accuse you to your face”. Judgment is coming.

When one looks at the list of sins in the middle verses of our Psalm, our first thought is ‘phew’! We think we are okay. But look a little deeper, search a bit more. You or I may not be thieves or adulterers and we may not ignore God’s words all the time and we do not offer meaningless sacrifices on the altar. But we are certainly not without sin. We are not without harsh words, gossip, maybe even slander. We struggle with pride and ego and selfishness… If we were Israel, we could not stand innocently before the Lord our God either. Thankfully, our story does not end here though.

Verse 23 speaks of “the salvation of God”. For the early readers of Psalm 50, this was a promise yet to come. Not so for us. Jesus Christ offers us the way of salvation. Through his gift on the cross we no longer stand condemned. Through his life we follow a Savior who shows us the way to live righteously in our world. In Christ we find forgiveness. In Christ we see the way. In all things may we bring honor and glory to his name.

Prayer: God, the judgment that we read about in Psalm 50 is so deserving. So too are my sins. Thank you so much for Jesus, the sacrifice for me and my sins. May all I do and say and think today bring honor and glory to you, my God. Amen.


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Do It Quickly

Reading: John 13: 21-32

Verse 21: “I tell you the truth, one of you is going to betray me”.

At the start of John 13, Jesus has just washed the disciples’ feet. He has “set you an example” and encouraged them to do as He has done. Next Jesus goes on to predict that one of His own disciples will betray Him. In verse 21 we read, “I tell you the truth, one of you is going to betray me”. The disciples react as we all would in Jesus’ presence – at a loss. They each think in their own hearts – surely not I! They are all curious and Peter prompts John to ask. By sharing the bread with him, Jesus reveals it is Judas Iscariot. Jesus directs Judas to “do quickly” what he will do. At this, Judas slips off into the night.

Reading the story, we think poorly of Judas. Yes, it had to be done to fulfill the scriptures. But we still dislike him because he betrayed Jesus, the one whom he had spent the last three years with. It feels like a worse betrayal than if it had been one of the Pharisees or a stranger. It could have been Matthew or John or James or Bartholomew or Thaddeus or even Peter, the one who most seemed like a leader. In the next section, Jesus predicts Peter’s denial. It could have been any of the twelve.

It is Judas Iscariot that slips off into the night to betray Jesus. John tells us “it is night”. Night and darkness symbolize evil and Satan. By contrast, day and light represent God, Jesus… Because Judas does not question or linger, but acts, we can infer that he has been wrestling with this. He has been brought to the decision point this night: light or dark? Good or evil? When he takes the bread, we read “Satan entered into him”. On this night, the darkness won. The scale tipped in favor of evil.

We are all in this place often. The Spirit works to keep us walking in the light and the evil one tempts us to step off the narrow road and off into the darkness. The temptation may be to gossip or to tell a little white lie. It may be to steal that set of headphones that is just lying there or to cheat on that big test. Maybe it is to turn in a false tax report or to click that pop-up that is so enticing. Perhaps it is to falsely accuse another to paint a better picture of ourselves or it is finally consummating that affair. The degree of sin matters not to God. Yes, the human or earthly impacts and affects will be greater for one scenario versus another. But to God, all temptation that leads to sin is the same. We are choosing dark over light, evil over good, Satan over God. Each week, each day, each hour, we face temptation. May we each turn to God and may we do it quickly. May we allow the light to chase away the darkness. May we strive to walk in the light.

Prayer: Lord, the battle is hard. Satan is ever at work. So I pray that the voice of the Holy Spirit is loud and strong in me today. Quiet the call of the earthly and fleshy desires within me. When they rise up, remind me quickly of your will and your way and your word. Strengthen me, O God. Amen.


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Right with God

Reading: Psalm 26

Verse 2: “Test me, O Lord, and try me, examine my heart and my mind”.

Psalm 26 is a cry of the innocent, of the unjustly treated. David is crying out to God, seeking for God to be on his side, for God to ‘vindicate’ him.

At some point in our life we have all been where David is. We have all been falsely accused. We have all been treated poorly and unfairly. We have all felt the frustration of being stuck in these situations, feeling as if there were no end in sight.

David’s case begins with an invitation to God to “test me, O Lord, and try me, examine my heart and my mind”. David knows that he is not at fault and he wants God to know for sure as well. David goes on to list the ways in which he has avoided the evil men – those who perhaps would do what he has been accused of or slandered about. David also professes his faith in God. It is a faith that leads David to proclaim God’s praise and to express his love for God. We too may think along these lines. We do so when we wonder how bad things could happen to good people. We question, how could this happen to your faithful servant? How can this happen to someone who so loves God?

The Psalm closes with a plea for God to redeem him and to be merciful to him. At times we are here too – we can do no more and we rely on God to take it from there. We please with God to take up our case because we have hit the bottom. As he closes, David again reiterates his way innocence. He is standing on level ground – all is good within him. He is right with God. From this place of the heart, he will praise the Lord. We too can be in this place. We too can make our heart totally right with God. With a clean and right heart may we praise the Lord with our life today.

O Lord, hem me in with your love and mercy, that I may walk a blameless life. When I falter, may your grace and compassion draw me back in quickly. With a clean and right heart may I bring glory and honor to you this day. Amen.