pastorjohnb

Thoughts and musings on faith and our mighty God!


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Are You Willing?

Psalm 139:23-24: “Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.”

Photo credit: Kyle Johnson

In Psalm 139 David comes to the Lord and first recognizes that God is everywhere and that God knows all about David’s life. He recognizes that there is absolutely nowhere to hide from God. We’ll dive deeper into these thoughts on Sunday morning as we turn again to Psalm 139. But for today, we start at the end of the Psalm. Maybe these thoughts are what led David to write the Psalm. Sometimes we do begin at the end and work our way back towards the beginning.

In our two verses for today David invites God to take a deep dive into his heart. It is a brave invitation to make. Here are the main actions: “Search me, God, and know my heart… See if there is any offensive way in me.” To be honest, there are some thoughts that I’d rather like to keep hidden from God. And once in a while I even pretend that God doesn’t know about this or that thought. Maybe you go there too. And once in a great while something unexpected pops up – out of the blue. But these thoughts don’t come from nowhere. The subconscious has a way of working itself to the surface.

In these two simple verses David is inviting God into all of this. Not just into our anxious thoughts and offensive ways but into all of it. God is being invited into the selfishness, the pride, the anger, the self-esteem, the jealousy, the addictions and compulsions… Inviting a deep dive by God is an admission that one wants a deeper relationship with God. Is that your desire? Will you pray these verses to God?

Prayer: Lord God, give me the courage to go to this depth of transparency and honesty with you. Open wide those things that I think I have hidden in the innermost closets. Walk with me through this hard journey and strip away all that is not of you. Thank you. Amen.


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The Journey

Reading: John 20: 25-31

Verse 29: “Because you have seen me, you have believed; blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed”.

Earlier this week we read about Jesus appearing to ten of the eleven disciples. Thomas was not there. As we begin today’s passage, the other disciples tell Thomas, “We have seen the Lord”! Thomas questions this, saying, “Unless I see the nail marks…”. He wants tangible proof that it really was Jesus. Because of this passage, Thomas is sometimes referred to as “Doubting Thomas”.

The reality, though, is the faith involves doubt. On our journey of faith, we will have seasons when we doubt, when we wrestle for answers, when we question God, our faith, ourselves… These are the struggles that often produce growth. It is when we dive deep and wrestle with the things of God that we are refined and encouraged. During a very difficult time in ministry, for example, I questioned deeply and often at first. This led to doubt. Much time was spent in prayer and scripture study. The end result was a better grasp of God’s love and mercy as well as a more solid understanding of the depth and breadth of his love and grace.

Jesus returns to the disciples a week later. Thomas is there. After greeting them, Jesus turns to Thomas and invites him to see and touch the proof. As always, Jesus offers what is needed to draw another closer to God. Seeing the scars, Thomas declares, “My Lord and my God”! It is a heartfelt profession of Jesus Christ as the Messiah.

Coming out of that difficult season of ministry, knowing that the living Christ had walked with me and has guided me through, I emerged with a stronger faith and with deeper convictions. God still has a way of meeting us where we are and offering us what we need to continue the journey of faith.

As you continue to seek God and to grow in your faith, may you who have not seen and yet believed be ever moving deeper in your relationship with Jesus.

Prayer: Lord God, great is your faithfulness! How vast is your love! Thank you for walking through the hard times, ever reminding me of your presence and guidance. You are so good to me. Thank you. Amen.