pastorjohnb

Thoughts and musings on faith and our mighty God!

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Conflict Resolution

Reading: Matthew 18:15-17

Matthew 15:17a – “If your brother or sister sins against you…”

In Matthew’s gospel, as it is throughout the entirety of scripture, there is an emphasis on loving God and neighbor. These actions are the focus of the shema – a three times daily Hebrew prayer. These actions are identified by Jesus (and others) as the two most important commands of God. And even with all of this emphasis, Jesus must still address the fact that in the church – in the place of love – we sin against and we hurt one another.

Before we dive into verses 15-17 today, let us consider what immediately proceeds Jesus’ teaching on conflict resolution. In verses 10-14 we find the very well-known parable of the lost sheep. We recall that a sheep gets lost. The shepherd goes to great lengths – to any length necessary – to find the one lost sheep. Returning the sheep to the flock, there is great rejoicing both on earth and in heaven. We next consider verses 15-17 with this spirit in mind.

Jesus addresses the consequences of sin within the church in three steps. The first step is one-on-one. It is personal and private. There is no airing of our dirty laundry. It is a loving, honest sharing of the hurt. Without an audience, it allows forgiveness to heal a broken relationship. If this effort fails, we are to engage a third party. They can impartially hear both sides of the conflict and offer unbiased input. There may be something that we need to hear too.

And if this fails, we are to bring the conflict to the church’s attention. This engages more listeners and potential mediators. It becomes a group effort to reconcile a damaged relationship. Sadly, even this step fails sometimes. Jesus’ next step? Treat them as you would a Gentile or tax collector. Keep reaching out, meet needs when possible, maybe even have dinner with them. Treat them as you would a lost sheep, going to any length necessary to return them to the flock. In love, may it be so.

Prayer: Lord God, conflict! We do not like it. We want to avoid it. But left unresolved, it poisons our intentions, it harms the body of believers, it taints our words and actions. Lord, empower us to be people of reconciliation. In these efforts, make us brave and transparent. Make us good listeners. Make us people that will go above and beyond to heal brokenness. Amen.


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Good for Our Hearts

Reading: Jeremiah 31:10-14

Jeremiah 31:12 – “They will come shouting for joy on the hills of Zion, jubilant over God’s gifts: grain, wine, oil, flocks, and herds.”

Photo credit: Eugene Zhyvchik

As we come to the end of the year, many will pause to look back over 2025, both for good and for bad. This review or assessment process prepares us for 2026. Some people will make resolutions, some will set goals, others will just ponder and reflect. This process often causes emotions to well up in our hearts. While some things are sorrowful, many others cause gratitude to rise up in our hearts for that special time with family, for that promotion, for that trip, for… It is good for our hearts to look back and to give thanks to God.

In today’s passage Jeremiah is giving thanks for something that God will do. The return from exile has not happened yet. In fact, Jeremiah will die in exile. Yet he praises God for what he trusts God will do. The prophet is sure that God will bring Israel home. He believes that God will deliver them. Jeremiah knows in his heart that “They will come shouting for joy on the hills of Zion, jubilant over God’s gifts: grain, wine, oil, flocks, and herds.” Because Jeremiah knows that God is trustworthy and good and loving, he praises God for what he believes God will do.

Because God is good and trustworthy and loving, we too can pray for what we know God will do. A community of faith can pray for that just-right next leader. A church can pray for a family to become a part of their group so that there are young voices in church again. Another congregation can pray for affordable senior housing to become a part of their ministry. We can pray these things and others like them, trusting in our good and loving God, believing in where God is calling and/or leading us. And we give thanks for what God will do in and through our prayers. It is good for our hearts to look forward and to give thanks to God. May it be so for us all.

Prayer: Lord God, we rejoice in your goodness and in your steadfast love for us. Your word tells us that you have good plans for those who love you. It is with this promise in our hearts that we rejoice in all that you will do in us, in our faith communities, and in our world. Thank you God for your faithful love. Amen.


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Keep at the Walk

Reading: Mark 16:1-8

Mark 16:7 – “Go, tell the disciples… You will see him there, just as he told you “

Photo credit: Aaron Burden

As originally written, Mark’s gospel seems to end abruptly and without resolution. It ends with the women fleeing in fear. They were so afraid, they didn’t say anything to anyone. That’s the original ending point. In the fourth and second centuries one verse 9 and verses 9-20 were added, respectively. In these additions the women do tell and the risen Jesus does appear to his followers. But Mark’s original ending, it really does beg the question: Why end it there, that way?!

Mark’s whole gospel is aimed at getting the church to be the church. The teachings he chooses and the parables Mark employs are all aimed at reminding the church of how Jesus taught and called them to live in the world. Chapter 16 is no different.

Mary, Mary, and Salome go and buy spices to anoint a body. Their hopes were dashed at the cross. Here they do the next thing. Church, disappointment and apparent failure will come. Keep doing the next thing. The women worry about the stone. They wonder who will move it. Here God does a thing. Church, if you are faithful, trust God to act. Inside the empty tomb an angel gives them instructions. They’re afraid. They do nothing. But we’re reading these words so the story doesn’t really end this way. Church, when God speaks something to you that feels scary or risky or hard to believe, say or do it anyway. Believe in God’s whispers, nudges, and movements. Then be amazed by what God does. This story is ongoing. The call to keep at the walk of faith, to trust and believe, to be amazed by God – that’s still our story. May it be so for you and for me.

Prayer: Lord God, help us to be the faithful church. Guide us on an obedient walk. When there is struggle, when there is disappointment, when there is uncertainty, when there is fear and worry – whisper words of love, nudge us with your presence, move alongside us. Use us as your church. Amen.


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Conflict Resolution

Reading: Matthew 18:15-20

Verse 20: “For where two or three gather in my name, there am I with them.”

In this week’s gospel text Jesus addresses how to deal with conflict within the church. As followers of Jesus Christ we are not immune from being human. As such, we can hurt and even harm one another. For Jesus, this is a given. So in today’s passage he gives direction for how to lovingly deal with the inevitable.

Step one is personal – go to that person and explain how they hurt or harmed you. This will resolve most issues. If that does not bring healing to the relationship, the next step is to bring one or two people along as you again explain the offense. Often other perspectives help to work things out. And it is a check on our motives. If this too fails to bring resolution then we are to bring the matter before the church. There the collective wisdom and love of the body can be used to bring healing and reconciliation to the broken relationship. If even this step fails, then the final steps for the church is to exclude the offender from the body. This is not meant to be punitive. It brings awareness that such behavior is unacceptable and it invites the offender to introspection and repentance.

None of these four steps are easy. That is why Jesus continues in verses 18-20. Jesus first promises that if we follow these steps then our decisions and actions will be godly and just. Accordingly, they will stand both in heaven and on earth. How is it possible to be godly and just in the middle of conflict, hurt, and harm? “For where two or three gather in my name, there am I with them.” In the midst of our conflict resolution, if we ask Jesus into the conversation, he will be there. With Jesus Christ leading and guiding the efforts, what we ask for and the just resolution that we seek – “it will be done for you by my father in heaven.” What a way to approach conflict resolution!

Prayer: Lord God, when the inevitable comes, lead and guide us through those difficult times in the life of the community of faith. Be present in our thoughts, in our words, in our actions. Through the Spirit’s loving presence, guide us in mercy, grace, love, honesty, humility, and forgiveness, bringing unity back to the body of Christ. Amen.


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Conflict Resolution

Reading: Matthew 18: 15-17

Verse 17: If he listens to you, you have won your brother over.

Today’s passage deals with conflict resolution in the church.  Although the church is intended to be the loving body of Christ and to reflect His light out into the world, at times there is conflict in the church.  Sometimes the conflict involves just two people, but at times the conflict can involve larger groups of people.

Jesus chooses to address conflict resolution in the church because it does happen.  And it is no coincidence that this address follows the parable of the lost sheep in Matthew’s Gospel.  Perhaps Jesus addresses it so directly because He knows a second truth as well – when conflict arises most of us avoid it at almost any cost.  If we are hurt or offended or sinned against by another at church we would much rather “get over it” and avoid further conflict than go and talk with that person.  Yet Jesus tells us to do just that – go and talk with them.  Why?  Because unresolved conflict becomes a murmur always humming just below the surface.  It becomes a feeling that can pervade gatherings and can inhibit the church’s ability to function as the loving body of Christ.

Jesus also gives two more steps to try next to try and resolve the conflict.  If a one on one visit fails, Jesus says to go back with one or two other believers.  Bring someone wise and respected to navigate the waters of reconciliation.  He is not saying to make it three on one but to bring in others who will help both sides come to the table to find resolution.  The next step, should the second step also fail, is to bring it before the whole church.  Hopefully more heads will work together to find a solution that leads to repentance and forgiveness.

At each step the goal is always reconciliation and restoration.  In the end, “If he listens to you, you have won your brother over”.  This is the goal: to help one another along on our journey of faith.  We are called to hold one another accountable.  This is true love in the church – being open and honest and transparent and speaking the truth in  love as we all journey together, each seeking to grow in our faith.