pastorjohnb

Thoughts and musings on faith and our mighty God!

Tag Archives: hurt


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Genuine and True

Reading: Genesis 45:9-15

Genesis 45:9-10 – “Come down to me. Don’t delay. You may live in the land of Goshen, so you will be near me.”

Photo credit: Milo Weiler

Finishing up this week’s Genesis 45 text, Joseph gives his brothers instructions. He is once again the man in power. This is the main message to his father, Israel: “Come down to me. Don’t delay. You may live in the land of Goshen, so you will be near me.” Joseph adds that he will support the whole family and all that they own. This will last at least as long as the famine – five more years. Believing that he was sent ahead for this purpose, Joseph is stepping into God’s plans and purposes for his life.

Joseph then embraces and weeps over Benjamin – his younger brother that he had never met. He then turns to his other brothers. Kisses and hugs and tears draw them in. Fear subsided, they are able to talk with Joseph. Joseph’s honesty and compassion led them to accept his offer of forgiveness and reconciliation. Yes, he spoke the words of forgiveness, but the brothers were wary. These additional assurances allowed them to know that the forgiveness was genuine and true.

As a kid, every once in a while I heard these words from my mom or dad: “Say ‘I’m sorry. ‘” And often, after a mumbled “I’m sorry,” I would hear these words: “Say it like you mean it.” At times we forgive or are forgiven because it is expected or because it is the “right” thing to do. But it does not come from the heart. There is no grace. There is hard work yet to be done. When within our power, may we truly forgive from the heart, bringing reconciliation with our forgiveness. Then healing can begin. May it be so.

Prayer: Lord God, sometimes we just go through the motions. But hurt and anger still reside, just below the surface. Lead us to practice true forgiveness, full of grace. Guide us then to a place of reconciliation, where the relationship can be restored. Thank you, Lord. Amen.


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A Space for All

Reading: Matthew 14:21

Matthew 14:21 – “About five thousand men plus women and children had eaten.”

The conclusion of the feeding of the large crowd has multiple layers to it. Those accounted for are the men. In that culture and time, women and children were secondary. They were often unseen and sometimes seen as possessions. But in this miracle and in God’s kingdom, all were present, all were fed. This inclusion mirrors what God’s kingdom is supposed to be: a place where everyone is welcome, where everyone has value, where everyone has a place at the table.

During Jesus’ ministry this was true. It seems like women and children feature in his three years of ministry more than they do in the rest of scripture. Jesus always reflected God’s heart for the poor, the needy, the marginalized. The tables that Jesus sat at included the outcasts and the excluded. As many of us gather today at the table of grace, do we reflect the inclusive and welcoming nature of Jesus?

As followers of Jesus Christ and as builders of God’s kingdom, this is a question that we need to wrestle with. Our lives and our churches should reflect our communities. So we must ask: Who is absent or left out? And, why is this so? Sometimes there is a past hurt that needs addressing. Sometimes it is a systemic cause. Whatever the reason, we must be willing to do the hard work that creates space for all people and is a space that makes all people feel like they belong, are worthy, and are loved. May it be so in our lives and in our churches.

Prayer: Lord God, you invite us to be like Jesus. Open our eyes to the ways both big and small, both intentional and unintentional, that we exclude or make others feel “less than.” Guide our hearts and minds to change so that we are truly people with lives, tables, and churches that desire for all people to have space, to be loved, and to be a part of community. Thank you, Lord. Amen.


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Abiding Presence, Ongoing Work

Reading: Genesis 32:25-31

Genesis 32:31 – “The sun rose as Jacob passed Peniel, limping because of his thigh.”

Photo credit: Timo Volz

Continuing in Genesis 32 today, the “man” cannot defeat Jacob, who refuses to quit. Even after God injures Jacob’s hip, he wrestles on. Jacob must sense some purpose in this encounter. So as dawn nears and God again asks Jacob to let go, he responds, “I won’t let go until you bless me.” God blesses Jacob with a new name, symbolizing the change within. All of his life, Jacob has struggled with God. After this personal encounter, seeing God “face-to-face,” Jacob has been “saved.” Saved from selfishness and pride, Jacob can see and live beyond himself. As our passage closes, we read, “The sun rose as Jacob passed Peniel, limping because of his thigh.”

The band I AM THEY wrote a song called “Scars.” The first two verses read, “Waking up to a new sunrise, Looking back from the other side, I can see now with open eyes… Darkest water and deepest pain, I wouldn’t trade it for anything, ‘Cause my brokenness brought me to You, And these wounds are a story You’ll use.” These words remind us that, like Jacob, God works in and through our struggles. Sometimes there is deep pain and hurt. But afterwards, looking back, we can see how God changed us, transformed us. For Jacob, his limp was a tangible reminder, yes of the wrestling, but more so of the transformation. Our scars, whether physical or emotional or spiritual, remind us too of God’s abiding presence and ongoing work in our lives. As the lyrics of the chorus thank God for the scars and the reminders of who God is, may we also rejoice in God’s deliverance, victory, and transformation through the struggles.

Prayer: Lord God, while we’d never choose the struggle while in the middle of it, we can look back and see your plan, your purpose, at work. We can also see how we were changed and how we grew in our relationship with you. Thank you for your faithfulness, especially as we are often less than we should be in the struggle. And thank you for never leaving us there when we need you most. Amen.


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The Pain of Death

Reading: Matthew 27:57-66

Matthew 27:61 – “Mary Magdalene and the other Mary were there, sitting in front of the tomb.”

In the story of Jesus, late Friday afternoon ends with Joseph of Arimathea requesting and receiving Jesus’ body. Moving quickly to finish the task before sunset and the start of the Sabbath, he wraps the body in a linen cloth, lays it in his own new tomb, and rolls the stone in place, sealing the tomb. Joseph was not alone: “Mary Magdalene and the other Mary were there, sitting in front of the tomb.”

It is a small crowd for Jesus’ burial. The disciples are nowhere to be found. They were hiding, fearing for their own lives. Only Joseph was willing to risk asking for the body. Only the two Mary’s refuse to leave Jesus. Their love kept all three there. Perhaps these three did not fear the religious authorities. Maybe they were unaware. But the religious leaders still fear Jesus – so much so that a guard is posted at the tomb.

Joseph and the two Mary’s are like many of us in our moments of deep grief. There are things that must be done and we go through the motions. Often people are unaware of the planning steps or even of the funeral as they look back a week later. When the body or ashes are laid in the ground, though, it feels so final. Some linger, though, unable to leave right away. Such is the case with the two Mary’s.

On this Holy Saturday we too are invited to linger, to remain present to the grief, to feel the sting of loss and the hurt of death. We mourn with the disciples, the two Mary’s, and with all others who deeply loved Jesus. We, however, also mourn with hope, because on this side of the resurrection, we know that death does not have the final word. Thanks be to God.

Prayer: Lord God, death is hard, whether expected or unexpected. On this day, help us to feel the pain, the disorientation, the tears of those closest to Jesus. As we’ve been there ourselves, guide us to join them in spirit, present even through the ages. As we feel the loss, O God, remind us too of the joy that comes with the morning. Amen.


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Witness to Truth

Reading: Psalm 15

Psalm 15:1 – “Who can live in your tent, Lord? Who can dwell on your holy mountain?”

Photo credit: Aaron Burden

Psalm 15 begins with two questions. The questions, listed above, set the reader up for hearing a prescription for holiness. These words attributed to David give us the basic do’s and don’ts of faithful living. In verse 2 we get the do’s: “live free of blame, do what is right, and speak the truth sincerely.” From a Biblical perspective it is relatively easy to understand how we are to live, do, and speak in the world. Unfortunately, most of our world does not understand or live from this perspective. We’ve long been living in the “post-Christian” era. Today, though, I read a new thought. Disciplines writer Olena Tovianska declares that we are living in a “post-truth” era. She argues that emotional appeal often overrides the facts. I believe she is correct. In this time in which we are living, I would add the thought that truth is now transactional.

Verse 3 is the beginning of the antidote for today. To not “harm a friend,” to not “damage with talk,” to not “insult a neighbor” – this would be a good start. The correct steps continue in the next verse: to despise the wicked and to honor the honorable. These choices would also work against this “post-truth” era. Next we read of keeping our word, “even when it hurts.” Integrity, honesty, uprightness. Such people would never take advantage of the needy or take a bribe to pervert justice. Such people would live as a witness to the power of the truth.

David assesses such people , stating, “Whoever does these things will never stumble.” While this mostly true for those daily seeking to walk with the Lord, I believe that we are at a point where our overall witness is so important. Living as Psalm 15 describes, we will help others not to stumble. This matters because there is a whole lot of stumbling going on these days.

Prayer: Lord God, guide our walk today to be steady and true, honest and upright. Send us out into the world as truth-bearers, as witnesses to Christ’s way of being, doing, and speaking in the world. And when the world pushes back, when it’s about to hurt, strengthen and encourage us through the power of the Holy Spirit dwelling in each of us. Bearing light and love and truth to the world, make we bring peace and stability to our world. Amen.


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Strength and Peace

Reading: Psalm 29:6-11

Psalm 29:11 – “Let the Lord give strength to his people! Let the Lord bless his people with peace!”

Verses 6-9 demonstrate the power of God’s voice. Nations and mountains “jump around” like young animals at play, going here and there with no reason. Fire and earthquakes rattle the land. The forests are stripped bare. These physical events happen in our created world, revealing the power of God. In our lives, times of suffering and loss and trial can make us feel like the created world must have felt. The loss of a loved one, the end of an important relationship, an unwanted change, a health crisis – these events can disorient us, can shake us, can make us feel bare and vulnerable. And events in our world – things that have nothing to do with us directly – can have the same impact, bringing hurt, lament, and even anger at times.

Verse 10 reminds us that God “sits enthroned over the flood waters.” In the wake of the disaster – physical or emotional or relational – God is present and in control. In the aftermath of loss, in the valley of grief, in the wilderness of despair, God is present and in control. God does not abandon us. God remains with us. God reigns over all of creation, including you and me. So let us declare verse 11 as our prayer and hope for today and every day: “Let the Lord give strength to his people! Let the Lord bless his people with peace!” May it be so for us all.

Prayer: Lord God, be with us. Be our strength. Be our peace. Lord God, be with our world. Bring strength to our world. Bring peace to our world. In a world with too much unjust violence, in a world with too many abuses of power, in a world with too little love for one another, be our strength and our peace. Lord, fill us with your strength and peace. When full, God, send us out into this broken and hurting world, bringing your strength and peace with us. Amen.


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Practice and Model…

Reading: Matthew 6:14-15

Matthew 6:14 – “If you forgive others their sins, your heavenly Father will also forgive you.”

Today’s two short verses come at the end of Jesus teaching the disciples the Lord’s Prayer. This prayer is a prayer that we know by heart. Most of us recite these words each Sunday and at other times as well. Of all that Jesus taught in the Lord’s Prayer, the only part that he felt needed a little emphasis was the part about forgiveness. Did Jesus know that we would struggle with seeking and offering forgiveness?

In verses 14 and 15 Jesus emphasizes our role in being people of forgiveness. There is a feel here that if we are not people who regularly and consistently practice and Model forgiveness, then we will not be forgiven by God for our sins. This understanding does not, however, align with other passages about forgiveness in the scriptures. No other passage contains what feels like “conditions” to be forgiven by God. So then, what is Jesus getting at here in verses 14 and 15?

First, forgiveness is like love, generosity, grace, compassion, comfort… We must practice and model these facets of who and what God is. When we do, we experience God’s forgiveness, love, generosity… in deeper and more transformational ways. Living out a more Christ-like life draws us closer to Christ. Second, as we practice and model forgiveness we begin to grow into the “as far as the east is from the west,” your sin is more, practice of God. Truly understanding God’s unconditional and complete ways of forgiveness leads us to practice and model this kind of forgiveness in our lives and relationships. May it be so for you and for me.

Prayer: Lord God, day by day lead us to develop, to grow into, to truly live out forgiveness in the ways that you do. Being able to let go, not holding onto past hurts, not plotting getting even, it is truly freeing. In this place, we are so closely aligned to you and your heart. Draw us there, closer and closer, O God, encounter by encounter. Thank you. Amen.


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Powerful Prayer

Reading: James 5:13-18

James 5:16b – “The prayer of the righteous person is powerful in what it can achieve.”

Today’s verses from James 5 fall under the heading “Final Instructions.” These words are a reminder to keep prayer at the center of our faith. James begins with two extremes. If we are suffering, then pray. If we are happy, then pray. Implied is this: If we are anywhere in between these extremes, then pray. God desires that our prayers are a constant conversation with God. This desire is not for God’s benefit but for ours.

James then turns to the power of corporate or intercessory prayer. When we are sick or when one we love is sick, we are to gather the elders or leaders of the church (by example not by virtue of title) to pray over the one who is sick and to anoint them with the oil of God’s blessing. James tells us, done from a place of sincere faith, this will lead to restoration of health.

The idea of living our faith together extends into the confession of our sins. James connects this practice to healing. When we harbor sin in our lives or when we are holding onto anger or hurt because of someone else’s sins against us, then we are not coming to pray in faith. This echoes Jesus’ words about being reconciled to one another before approaching the altar of God (Matthew 5:23-24.)

Connecting into the miracle of rain through Elijah’s faithful prayer, James writes, “The prayer of the righteous person is powerful in what it can achieve.” May this be true if us and of our prayers to God on high.

Prayer: Lord God, lead and guide us to be people of prayer. Draw us deep into regular time with you, sharing our joys and concerns, our sins and our thanksgiving. Through shared prayer draw us closer to one another, deepening and strengthening the bond of love. Thank you, Lord. Amen.


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So Many Times

Readings: Matthew 6:14-15 and 18:21-22

Matthew 6:14 – “If you forgive others their sins, your heavenly Father will also forgive you.”

Today’s two passages from Matthew are about forgiveness. This practice is essential for all of our relationships. We are, by nature, sinful and selfish creatures. Because of this nature, we will harm, hurt, anger… one another. Sometimes this is unintentional. Sometimes we don’t even know that we hurt one another.

Jesus’ words in Matthew 6 are an addendum to the prayer that he teaches the disciples to pray. We know this prayer as the Lord’s Prayer. These words are really just a restatement of verse 12: “Forgive our sins as we…” So why repeat it? Why again say, “If you forgive others their sins, your heavenly Father will also forgive you?” Maybe because that’s the only part of the prayer where we have an active role. God’s got the other stuff. But us? Yes, Jesus knows how hard it will be for us to forgive as God forgives us.

Chapter 18, verses 15-20, contain Jesus’ teaching on how to deal with a brother or sister who sins against us. The questions from Peter, “How many times?… Up to seven?” comes from his thoughts on this teaching. These are questions we ask ourselves. Jesus’ answer and the parable that follow illustrate how God forgives us and remind us that forgiveness is a two-way street. Jesus tells Peter, “Not just seven times, but rather as many as 77 times.” Seven was extravagant – way above the Jewish social norms. In practical terms, Jesus is saying, “Every time.” Forgive a lot and then forgive lots more. Like God’s forgiveness of us, our forgiveness of one another should be without end. May it be so for you and for me.

Prayer: Lord God, yes, it can be hard to forgive. Really hard. But then I think of the many times when others have had to forgive me for my hurtful words or my harmful actions. And then I think of the millions and millions of times that you’ve forgiven my sins – how gracious and loving you are! Lord, empower me this day and every day to reflect this kind of forgiveness in my life. Amen.


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Rule and Cleanse

Reading: Psalm 18:7-8 and 12-13a

Psalm 19:13a – “Save your servant from willful sins.”

Psalm 19 celebrates who and what God is. The psalmist speaks of God’s order and power. The writer acknowledges, by contrast, our disorder and powerlessness. In verses 7-8 we focus in on the Law. God’s “rules” for living out our faith are “perfect… faithful… right… pure.” God’s Law reflects God’s character. If we follow God’s will for how we are to live and be in the world, then we are “revived… gladdened… made wise… given light.” This is all in alignment with this understanding amongst God’s people: live according to the Law, experience goodness and blessing. People of faith today hold to this basic understanding. And, for the most part, this extends to our relationship with civil law too. There are times, though, when our faith will call us to hold God’s Law above common law.

In verses 12-13 the psalmist acknowledges and addresses those times when we do break God’s Law. Because of our human nature, we will sin, hurting or harming ourselves and/or other(s). At times these are “accidental.” Some of the time we become aware of these sins. Someone will let us know or the Holy Spirit will bring conviction into our hearts. And sometimes we don’t know; we won’t ever know. In these cases the psalmist asks God to “clear” him of sins. General confession is good for us to practice periodically too.

Our reading today closes with this petition: “Save your servant from willful sins.” At times we will know what we’re about to do or say or think, we’ll know it is sinful, and we will proceed forward anyway. We’ll cross the line. We’ll cause harm. We’ll damage a relationship. The psalmist asks God to not allow these sins to “rule me.” May this be our prayer as well.

Prayer: Lord God, we admit that it is not always easy to be faithful. Our human nature comes out at times, eclipsing the divine within. But even then your Holy Spirit whispers and nudges, calling us to faithfulness, calling us to walk once again with you. Welcome our confession, O God, cleanse us through your grace. Bring healing and wholeness to our lives and to our relationships. Rule in our hearts. Amen.