pastorjohnb

Thoughts and musings on faith and our mighty God!

Tag Archives: sorrow


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An Ear Turned Towards Us

Reading: Psalm 116:1-4

Verse 1: “I love the Lord, for he heard my voice; he heard my cry for mercy.”

In Psalm 116 there is a remembrance of a time of anguish, trouble, and sorrow. Death was near to the author. We all experience times of anguish, trouble, and sorrow. Many of us have had death come near. We can relate to what the psalmist felt. Even people who do not believe in God feel these emotions. Anguish, trouble, and sorrow are common to all of humankind.

In verse 1 the psalmist expresses his or her love for the Lord. Why? Because the Lord “heard my voice; he heard my cry for mercy.” In the moment of need, the Lord heard. As the psalmist cries out for mercy, the Lord hears the anguished cry. Being heard in the moment of need leads to the declaration that we find in verse 2: “Because he turned his ear to me, I will call on him as long as I live.” Because the Lord was there in the great time of need, the psalmist declares faithfulness for all of his or her life.

When you have been in a moment of great need, did the Lord hear your voice? Did others hear your cries? If the answer is ‘yes’ to either question, you know how much that matters. For family or friends who respond to our cries, we are forever grateful. If not aloud, at least we think in our minds that we will value that connection forever. How much more so for the Lord! The Lord ever has an ear turned towards us. Our God hears the smallest whispers and the loudest cries. The Lord is always near. So like the psalmist, may we too declare our love for the Lord, ever turning to the one who awaits our voice.

Prayer: Lord God, thank you for being ever present. You know us inside out – our thoughts, our feelings, our needs, our wants and desires. Yet you are eager to hear our voice. Thank you Lord. Amen.


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Be Present

Reading: Matthew 26:36-46

Verse 38: “My soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death. Stay here and keep watch with me.”

Photo credit: Kyle Johnson

Today we fast-forward in the story line. Tomorrow is Palm Sunday yet in our reading for today we find ourselves in the garden, just before Jesus’ arrest. Today is an invitation to remember what lies ahead, to choose to be present on the holy days that lie just ahead.

Jesus, feeling very emotional, takes the disciples to the garden to pray. He is doing some deep wrestling in his soul and he wants his friends to be with him, to pray for him, to offer their strength in this trial. Inviting Peter, James, and John to go even a little deeper, he says to them, “My soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death. Stay here and keep watch with me.” When our lives have touched on a place of sorrow such as this, we too have longer for others to be present, to pray, to listen. We can relate to Jesus’ need here.

As he prays and wrestles with the task before him, Jesus surrenders again and again and again to God’s will. After each time of intense prayer, he finds the disciples sleeping. I’d guess that you too have endured a time of wrestling with your faith as well as times of deep sorrow when you’ve found yourself feeling alone, as Jesus did. So the invitation today is to stay awake, to be present. Yes, celebrate the palm parade tomorrow. This too is part of the week ahead. But don’t just skip ahead to the “He is risen!” of Easter morning. Be present. Walk with Jesus through the hard days of the coming week. In spirit, sit and feel, experience and connect, pray. Be present to Jesus Christ in the week ahead.

Prayer: Lord God, thank you for the reminder and the invitation to draw near, to connect in. Lead and guide me in the coming week to stay awake, to be present. In these moments, encounters, and experiences, bring me closer to you. Amen.


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Jesus Is with Us

Reading: John 11:1-37

Verse 33: “When Jesus saw her weeping… he was deeply moved in spirit and troubled.”

Photo credit: Ruthson Zimmerman

We end our week with the story known as the raising of Lazarus. That’s the miracle in the passage. It begins with Mary and Martha asking Jesus to come: “Lord, the one you love is sick.” We read into their request an urgency. We can relate because maybe too often our prayers are lifted only when the situation has become urgent. At that point we too are like Mary and Martha: we want a speedy response. If things don’t turn out how we’d like or want, we too can toss up a “Lord if you had…” It is always hard to wait, to have patience, when we bring something important to God, especially if we feel that a response is urgent.

Jesus does show up. It’s just not in Mary or Martha’s preferred time frame. And it’s not the response they wanted – or so they initially think. First Martha comes and he assured her that he is “the resurrection and the life.” Yes, Lord, you are the Messiah. Then Mary comes, full of “if onlys” and filled with grief. It is here that we read, “When Jesus saw her weeping… he was deeply moved in spirit and troubled.” He enters their pain and grief. Jesus becomes present in the midst of their sorrow. He is with those who believe. This too is our Jesus. In our pain and grief, in our anger and disappointments, in our loneliness and doubt, in all of life – Jesus is with us.

Yes, Lazarus will walk out of the grave. But in 5, 9, 17 years – he will die again. The pain and sorrow will return. And so will Jesus. In Spirit, he will comfort Mary and Martha once again. This is the good news of this story: Jesus is with us. He weeps with us. He comforts us. He lifts us up. Thanks be to God, Jesus is with us.

Prayer: Lord God, yes, you are present! In the highs, in the lows, and everywhere in between, you are there. You invite us into a personal relationship. You offer to all who believe abundant life now and life eternal. But you don’t wait until we die to become part of our lives. The moment we invite you into our hearts, you enter in and you take up residence. Thank you, Jesus. I need you every day and every hour. Thank you, Lord. Amen.


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Wait with Hope

Reading: Psalm 130

Verse 5: “I wait for the Lord, my whole being waits, and in his word I put my hope.”

Photo credit: Nathan Dumlao

The psalmist cries out to God. From the depths of pain the writer asks God to be attentive. The psalmist longs for the mercy and forgiveness that he or she knows is always available from the Lord. In these opening verses we get a sense of urgency, almost of desperation. In this way, the psalmist would fit right in with our modern world. We get a little testy if we have to wait too long in the drive-through line. We are ready to zip off a terse email if our package isn’t delivered in the first hour or two of the scheduled delivery day. And, no, it doesn’t matter if there is a blizzard happening.

When we find ourselves in the place the psalmist is in – in a place of deep regret or in a place of pain or sorrow – then the waiting is actually hard. When we find ourselves in a place that is truly a place of angst or profound distress, we do want God to respond quickly. In these difficult places, it is so hard to wait. So may we read these words with resolve: “I wait for the Lord, my whole being waits, and in his word I put my hope.” For reinforcement, the psalmist repeats the next line. When we are struggling to wait on the Lord, when we feel like we might not make it to another day, we too stand watch, waiting for the sun to appear, signaling the start of a new day.

So what part of God’s word is the source of our hope? In the closing verses we are reminded. The Lord offers us “unfailing love.” This is a no-matter-what love. It is always ours. The second promise is like the first: we are given “full redemption” through the cross of Jesus Christ. We can be made new again each time we turn to Christ. Yes, waiting is hard. But we know the rest of the story. The Lord triumphs over all. So as we wait, may we do so in hope and in love, covered by the promise of redemption. May it be so for us all.

Prayer: Lord God, thank you for your deep and abiding love for us, a love beyond measure. Thank you for your promise of love with no limits. It is a love that always seeks, always washes us clean, always redeems. What love you have for us. In and through that love, grant us the grace to wait upon you, our Lord and Savior. Amen.


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God Is There

Reading: Matthew 2:13-23

Verse 18: “A voice is heard… weeping and great mourning… refusing to be comforted, because they are no more.”

Photo credit: Tyler Milligan

Today the story of Jesus’ early days continues. Although Jesus and family flee to safety, many families are not so fortunate. As is still the case today, Jesus’ life is intertwined with ours. Herod, out of anger and fear, has all the baby boys under two killed in and around Bethlehem. This act fulfills a prophecy from Jeremiah 31 that, in part, speaks these words: “A voice is heard… weeping and great mourning… refusing to be comforted, because they are no more.” Families and neighbors cry and grieve for the lost children. In their grief, God draws near.

Today in our world children are still the victims of senseless violence. Whether it is a school shooting or a bomb dropped on a neighborhood in Ukraine or gang violence in the city or another tragedy around our southern border, families and neighbors weep and mourn for lost children this very hour. Just as the people of Bethlehem refused to be comforted, so too do mothers, fathers, friends, and neighbors today. To shed tears is to remember, to honor, to celebrate a life. To mourn is the hold on. Weeping and mourning are part of the grief process. Our tears bring healing in time. Our tears are also a reminder of God’s presence with us.

When tears do not stop, when the pain does not cease, when sleep will not come, the only thing we can do is to hold onto God’s presence. There we can sense and feel God’s love for us, right there in our grieving. God is there and understands because Christ walked through the pain and sorrow and brokenness of this world. God is there with us. May we hold onto Immanuel, God with us.

Prayer: Lord God, comfort, o comfort all who are grieving and hurting. Be present to all who mourn, whatever the situation. Enter into their lives just as you entered into this world. Be present in the pain and sorrow. Pour out your love and tender, healing mercies. Bind up what the world has torn apart. And, Lord, lead me to offer presence and peace, comfort and strength, light and love to those who mourn and weep. Amen.


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Pour It Out

Reading: Lamentations 1:1-6

Verse 5: “The Lord has brought her grief because of her many sins.”

To lament is to express our grief, our sorrow, our sadness. It is an outpouring of emotions. As I read these opening six verses again today, I wonder how long it took the writer to put these words to paper. When I’ve experienced something horrible, something terrible, it has taken some time to express what I’m feeling. In Lamentations it is clear that some time has passed. The city is deserted, things lie in ruins.

Hardship and suffering sometimes come upon us simply because it is part of life. We are not to “blame,” so to speak. But sometimes we had a hand in what happened, if not directly at least indirectly. In these cases, I think our lament is even deeper. This is the case with today’s writing. The author writes these words in verse 5: “The Lord has brought her grief because of her many sins.” There is a distance here – “her many sins.” The writer does not say “our sins.” Yet the author was there during the sinning. Inaction can also implicate us in the hardship and suffering. Whatever the writer’s connection, there is clearly deep and profound emotions triggered by the recent events in Israel and Judah.

When you have found yourself filled with troubling and difficult emotions, how do you express them? Do you journal? Do you write poetry? Do you paint or use some other artistic means to release these feelings of grief, sorrow, and sadness? Do you find a trusted friend or two to talk with, allowing this space to be your safe outlet? And over and in and through it all, do you pour it out to God in prayer? We must begin with God and then allow ourselves to feel and express our lament. May it be so.

Prayer: Lord God, thank you for the safe spaces that you have been and that you have provided in my times and seasons of lament. I trust in you and will return as needed. Lord, draw others into your great heart of compassion. Ease any reservations or hesitations or doubts. Help each of us to feel at home with you. Amen.


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The In Between

Reading: Matthew 27:57-66

Verse 65: “‘Take a guard,’ Pilate said. ‘Go, make the tomb as secure as you know how'”.

Photo credit: Kunj Parekh

Today is Holy Saturday. It is a day in between. We too spend much time “in between” in our lives. Some we are aware of: in between engagement and marriage, in between separation and divorce. In between pregnancy and birth, in between illness and death. In between our old job and our new job, in between a first date and courtship. Some we are not aware of as they are happening. Change is afoot but we do not perceive it. And then it is suddenly here. And some of the time we sense that things are changing but we cannot quite discern the details. In most of these things there is a lot of emotion. In some cases there is excitement, anticipation, joy. In others there is uncertainty, insecurity, fear, angst.

As we read today’s passage, we tend to read it knowing that Sunday is coming. But today – at least for a few minutes – read it from the point of view of the religious leaders, of Pilate. Read it from the upper room or wherever the terrified disciples and followers of Jesus were gathered. Uncertain, insecure, and fearfully the religious authorities ask for a guard to be placed at the tomb. Pilate says, “Take a guard. Go, make the tomb as secure as you know how”. As secure as you know how. That’s how we like life too, isn’t it?

Sit with these emotions for a moment – caught in between all that Jesus Christ said and did and the moment he was laid in the tomb. In between the clear signs of God with him and the words about rising in three days. Venture into the room with Jesus’ people. Find space there in between the sorrow and grief of death and the fear of hearing a knock at the door, in between comforting one another and the thought of a crowd showing up for you too. God’s blessings as you sit some with Holy Saturday.

Prayer: Lord God, draw me into the depth of this day. Draw me into this in between moment in the great arc of faith’s story, to these moments of waiting and feeling. Amen.


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Darkness

Readings: John 18:25-28 and Isaiah 52:13-53:12

Verse 5: “He was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities.”

In the story line of Holy Week, by Friday morning Jesus has been arrested in the garden, has been found guilty by the religious leaders, and is brought to Pilate in the early morning. During the late night hours Jesus remained at Caiaphas’ house. Tradition has it that these hours were spent in a dungeon. It was a time alone, spent in a dark place. Perhaps this is what we read of in Isaiah 53:3 – “He was despised and rejected by men, a man of sorrows, and familiar with suffering.” During this time, Peter will deny even knowing Jesus. Three times.

In spite of the rejection, the denial, the persecution, Jesus still chooses the cross. Isaiah 53:4 says, “Surely he took up our infirmities and carried our sorrows.” The weight of the cross itself isn’t the only thing Jesus carried to Golgatha. As the early morning progresses, Jesus is sentenced to death by crucifixion. His body will be nailed to the cross in the third hour – about 9 am. In Isaiah 53:5 we read, “He was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities.” The nails pierced his skin, the weight of the sin of the world lay heavy upon the innocent one. Verse 10 reminds us, “the Lord makes his life a guilt offering.” Verse 12: “he bore the sins of many.”

At noon darkness falls over the land. As our iniquities sit upon Jesus, all of creation mourns. Pouring out his life for us, Jesus breathes his last at about 3 pm. The body will hastily be placed in Joseph’s tomb – the Sabbath begins at sunset. All feels lost. All is wrapped in sorrow and grief. The incarnate one is dead.

Prayer: Lord, thank you for walking this difficult path for me and for all of humanity. You are familiar with our iniquities and suffering. Yet you chose love. Thank you. Amen.


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“I am with You.”

Reading: Isaiah 43: 1-7

Verse 1: “Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name; you are mine.”

Photo credit: Tobias Rademacher

These past two years have been filled with fear, unknowns, angst, grief, anger, conflict, sorrow. Perhaps we’ve had others seasons filled with these things, but outside of the great world wars we have not experienced a prolonged difficult season like this. Isaiah speaks to a people who felt all of these emotions and maybe more. The Babylonians swept in like COVID, bring much sorrow and pain and… As their years in captivity drug on, the Israelites surely asked questions like, “How long?” and “When can we return to what was normal?” These are very much the questions of our day as well.

Into the anger and sorrow and unknown and everything else, God spoke these words through Isaiah: “Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name; you are mine.” Into these powerful and very real emotions, God reminds the people: “I am with you. You are mine.” Yes, this is an unprecedented time, but God is with the Israelites. Yes, it’s starting to feel like forever, but it is not. Going on in verse two we read, “I will be with you.” Those waters and rivers that feel like they’ll sweep over you? “No, I am with you.” Those fires that feel like they will consume you? “No, I am with you. You are mine.” These words of reassurance and hope kept the people going in exile. It sustained them until this season passed.

As we near the two-year mark for this current pandemic, we too need the hear these words: “I am with you. You are mine.” We too need to claim these words, to cling to them, to write them on our hearts. May our trust and hope in the Lord drive away the fear. May God’s presence carry and sustain us as we walk forward in faith.

Prayer: Lord God, you have been faithful always – forever. You have calmed fears and brought peace. Your love has strengthened and encouraged. Be with us on this journey, walking with us day by day. Amen.


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The Greatest Joys

Reading: 1st John 5: 1-5

Verse 2: “This is how we know that we love the children of God: by loving God and carrying out his commands”.

We continue today with the same author and the same themes from our past days in John 15: loving well and obeying God’s commands. There continues to be a direct connection here. When we love someone we try to do things that please them. When we love someone we want them to be happy and well cared for. These concerns often extend to those who are loved by the focus of our love. This is the case with God’s creation and family. Since we cannot really care for God himself, we instead focus on loving and caring well for all of God’s creation.

John sums up this idea in verse two. Here we read, “This is how we know that we love the children of God: by loving God and carrying out his commands”. When our love of God leads us to follow his commands, then we love his children. We express God’s love in many ways: caring for those in need, helping others grow in faith, being present in times of pain or sorrow, supporting the work of God through the giving of our time, talents, prayers, and resources. These expressions of love are reflections or extensions of the love of God that we ourselves have experienced. This is why they are not burdensome. These actions are a joyful and grateful way to thank God for loving us so well. In this way the love of God is cast wide, out into the world. Being loved and loving well are two of the greatest joys in life. May we enjoy both today!

Prayer: God of all creation, you love me just like you love all of your other children and all that you have made. It is a wonderful, beautiful, complete love. As it fills me may I pour it out into the world. Amen.