pastorjohnb

Thoughts and musings on faith and our mighty God!

Tag Archives: pain


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Wait with Hope

Reading: Psalm 130

Verse 5: “I wait for the Lord, my whole being waits, and in his word I put my hope.”

Photo credit: Nathan Dumlao

The psalmist cries out to God. From the depths of pain the writer asks God to be attentive. The psalmist longs for the mercy and forgiveness that he or she knows is always available from the Lord. In these opening verses we get a sense of urgency, almost of desperation. In this way, the psalmist would fit right in with our modern world. We get a little testy if we have to wait too long in the drive-through line. We are ready to zip off a terse email if our package isn’t delivered in the first hour or two of the scheduled delivery day. And, no, it doesn’t matter if there is a blizzard happening.

When we find ourselves in the place the psalmist is in – in a place of deep regret or in a place of pain or sorrow – then the waiting is actually hard. When we find ourselves in a place that is truly a place of angst or profound distress, we do want God to respond quickly. In these difficult places, it is so hard to wait. So may we read these words with resolve: “I wait for the Lord, my whole being waits, and in his word I put my hope.” For reinforcement, the psalmist repeats the next line. When we are struggling to wait on the Lord, when we feel like we might not make it to another day, we too stand watch, waiting for the sun to appear, signaling the start of a new day.

So what part of God’s word is the source of our hope? In the closing verses we are reminded. The Lord offers us “unfailing love.” This is a no-matter-what love. It is always ours. The second promise is like the first: we are given “full redemption” through the cross of Jesus Christ. We can be made new again each time we turn to Christ. Yes, waiting is hard. But we know the rest of the story. The Lord triumphs over all. So as we wait, may we do so in hope and in love, covered by the promise of redemption. May it be so for us all.

Prayer: Lord God, thank you for your deep and abiding love for us, a love beyond measure. Thank you for your promise of love with no limits. It is a love that always seeks, always washes us clean, always redeems. What love you have for us. In and through that love, grant us the grace to wait upon you, our Lord and Savior. Amen.


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Fully Surrendered

Reading: Psalm 23:1-4

Verse 1: “The Lord is my shepherd.”

Photo credit: Alex Woods

Psalm 23 is very familiar. Its words remind us of how deeply God can love and care for us. It speaks of the relationship that we can experience. David writes these words as one fully surrendered to God. In order to claim and to fully experience the relationship detailed in this Psalm, we too must be fully surrendered to God.

David chooses the shepherd analogy. He is drawing from years and years of being a good shepherd to his family’s sheep. In verse 1 David declares that he “shall not be in want.” God will provide for our daily needs. God will also provide for our emotional and spiritual needs. Not “might” – will! When we are surrendered to God, rest and restoration in green pastures and beside still waters is not optional. Surrendered fully, God will guide us in all righteousness. Sabbath is part of this.

God is also our shepherd when life gets difficult. Verse 4 reminds us that God will be fully present in the valleys – in those times when “the shadow of death” has fallen over our lives. When we lose a loved one, God is there to both comfort and protect us. God comforts us in our pain and also protects us against the evil one. In moments of loss, we are most vulnerable to the lies and manipulation of Satan. God protects us. Physical death is not the only deaths we experience. God is there in the loss of relationship, in the loss of a job or dream, in the loss of health… In all these, God comforts us and protects us. It is a provision so strong that we need not fear evil in any of these circumstances either. This fear can be fully surrendered to God too. Doing so, we find rest and restoration even in the valley of death or loss.

Psalm 23 reminds us of God’s presence and love and care in all of life. If we choose daily to surrender to and to walk in the presence of God, we are never alone. Thanks be to God.

Prayer: Lord God, your love and care for me is so amazing and wonderful. You guide me and lead me in what is right. You lead me to times and places that restore my soul. Help me, Lord, to surrender daily so that I can experience the fullness of your love and care. Amen.


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Growing Deeper

Reading: Psalm 119:1-8

Verse 7: “I will praise you with an upright heart as I learn your righteous laws.”

As we return to Psalm 119 today, we focus in on the joy of living into the will and way of God. The psalmist recognizes the blessing of walking in the way of the Lord. Now this is not a material blessing, but a spiritual blessing. This is not an absence of trial or pain blessing, but the blessing of God’s presence in and through all that life throws at us. The blessing comes in the intimate relationship that we can have with God.

The psalmist has learned that intimacy must be built, grown, developed. Accordingly the author strives to “seek God with all their heart.” It is a total commitment. It is not a “what have you done lately” attitude, nor is it an “I’ll see you the next time I need something” attitude. It is an “I’ll seek God with all of my heart” in the highs, in the lows, and in all in between attitude. It is awakening with an “I love you,” going to bed with an “I love you,” and it is saying “I love you God” with each thought, word, and action throughout our day.

The blessing and the presence of God leads to the joy and thanksgiving expressed in our Psalm. In verse 7 we read, “I will praise you with an upright heart as I learn your righteous laws.” The psalmist seeks to live righteously and according to the will and way of God. Yet there is also a realization that he or she is a work in progress – “as I learn.” There is humility and honesty here. What a refreshing reminder! As fellow works in progress may we too seek God with all of our heart, trusting in God to be faithful and true as we learn to grow deeper in love with the Lord our God.

Prayer: Lord God, there is such joy and peace in your presence. There is security and contentment. There is hope and there is love. There is calm in the storm and elation on the mountain top. Day by day keep my feet on the faithful path. Moment by moment deepen my love for you. Amen.


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God Is There

Reading: Matthew 2:13-23

Verse 18: “A voice is heard… weeping and great mourning… refusing to be comforted, because they are no more.”

Photo credit: Tyler Milligan

Today the story of Jesus’ early days continues. Although Jesus and family flee to safety, many families are not so fortunate. As is still the case today, Jesus’ life is intertwined with ours. Herod, out of anger and fear, has all the baby boys under two killed in and around Bethlehem. This act fulfills a prophecy from Jeremiah 31 that, in part, speaks these words: “A voice is heard… weeping and great mourning… refusing to be comforted, because they are no more.” Families and neighbors cry and grieve for the lost children. In their grief, God draws near.

Today in our world children are still the victims of senseless violence. Whether it is a school shooting or a bomb dropped on a neighborhood in Ukraine or gang violence in the city or another tragedy around our southern border, families and neighbors weep and mourn for lost children this very hour. Just as the people of Bethlehem refused to be comforted, so too do mothers, fathers, friends, and neighbors today. To shed tears is to remember, to honor, to celebrate a life. To mourn is the hold on. Weeping and mourning are part of the grief process. Our tears bring healing in time. Our tears are also a reminder of God’s presence with us.

When tears do not stop, when the pain does not cease, when sleep will not come, the only thing we can do is to hold onto God’s presence. There we can sense and feel God’s love for us, right there in our grieving. God is there and understands because Christ walked through the pain and sorrow and brokenness of this world. God is there with us. May we hold onto Immanuel, God with us.

Prayer: Lord God, comfort, o comfort all who are grieving and hurting. Be present to all who mourn, whatever the situation. Enter into their lives just as you entered into this world. Be present in the pain and sorrow. Pour out your love and tender, healing mercies. Bind up what the world has torn apart. And, Lord, lead me to offer presence and peace, comfort and strength, light and love to those who mourn and weep. Amen.


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The End

Reading: Luke 21:5-11

Verse 9: “These things must happen first, but the end will not come right away.”

As Jesus and the disciples are sitting in the temple courts some of the disciples notice the beauty and grandeur of the temple. It was a very amazing building, created to reflect the awe and majesty of God. Jesus has just finished teaching about the widow’s offering – she gave all she had to live on. Maybe they were already gawking at the temple, missing his point.

Jesus brings them crashing back to reality, telling them that “a time will come when not one stone will be left on another.” (In about 70 AD the Romans will level the temple in response to a Jewish uprising.) In response they ask “when?” And what will be the signs that the time is near? They want to be prepared. The disciples are very human.

In verses 8-11 Jesus gives them quite an answer. There will be false prophets. There will be war and revolution. This is not the end though. There will be great wars, earthquakes, famines, and disease. And there will be “fearful events and signs from heaven.” The picture that Jesus paints is a far cry from the beauty of the temple that captured the disciples’ attention.

As scary as this sounds, the reality is that this has been how the world has been almost forever. Since Jesus spoke these words, there have been countless wars, revolutions, natural disasters, famines, diseases… The vocation of false prophet remains very much alive and well. So what then does this passage mean for us?

The world is a broken place. Faith in the midst of all this is not easy. Holding onto hope and clinging to God’s greater truths is often quite challenging. Yet we know the end of the story: God wins. Thank be to God!

Prayer: Lord God, there is much pain and hurt and brokenness in the world. It can be hard to hold fast to our faith. Keep reminding us, keep showing us that your love is greater, that your ultimate plan is victory and redemption and restoration. Strengthen us today to walk in faith, bearing hope and love out into this broken world. Amen.


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Live as the Light

Reading: Isaiah 65:17-25

Verses 17 and 19: “Behold, I will create new heavens and a new earth… The sound of weeping and of crying will be heard in it no more.”

Our passage from Isaiah 65 speaks words of great hope and promise. These words spoken to those living in captivity in Babylon would have given them a future to look forward to. In the opening verse the Lord God promised, “Behold, I will create new heavens and a new earth.” The new will be a delight to the people of God. They will be glad and will rejoice forever. God will also delight in the people. In this new thing, “The sound of weeping and of crying will be heard in it no more.” Their current pain and brokenness will be no more.

Have you experienced pain and brokenness that God has healed? It could have been physical. Or it could’ve been emotional and/or spiritual. For me the most recent experience of pain and brokenness came almost four years ago. As it settled in on me I felt like I was in exile. But God was faithful and soon began to rebuild and restore me, healing the wounds and strengthening my faith. God worked for good and for growth, leading me to a new place in my faith.

As you recall your experience of healing from pain and brokenness, realize that there are many in our world living in pain and brokenness right now. Their life is filled with the sounds of weeping and crying. There is little hope. How can we first see these folks and, second, how can we begin to shine the light of God’s healing love into their darkness? We begin by simply being the light. A beacon can draw others. Some will come, asking about our peace, our joy, our hope. A lighthouse illumines those dark edges, where, if we look, we can begin to see those living there. These we will have to reach out to. These we will have to go to. Then we will have to allow the Holy Spirit to lead as we come alongside those living in pain and brokenness, just as others once did when we were living there. Walking with them, guided by the Spirit and filled with God’s love, we can help others to find and experience God’s goodness and love, God’s mercy and healing grace. May we live as the light.

Prayer: Lord God, the pain and brokenness remains a vivid part of my life. But greater still was your healing and redeeming love. It is something I want to share with others. Lead and guide me to connect the hurting and broken to the new life that you offer to us all. Amen.


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Unfailing Love

Reading: Jeremiah 4:27-28 and Psalm 14:7

Verse 7: “Oh, that salvation for Israel would come out of Zion.”

The bulk of this week’s readings from Jeremiah 4 and Psalm 14 is about the people wandering away from God, choosing to live in sin and rebellion. Both of these Old Testament passages reference how these evils actions and choices bring God’s heart sadness and pain. These two ancient texts also speak of the cost of living in sin. It goes deeper than just separation from God. Living in sin is also destructive to our lives.

Another overarching idea in both of these passages is God’s unfailing love. Even though the people have chosen to worship idols and have grown selfish and prideful, God’s love remains. Yes, this is why God’s heart is affected but it goes deeper. God’s love remains because God honors the covenant. Long ago God promised to be Israel’s God – no matter what. No matter how deeply they hurt God, no matter how far they wander… God is faithful and true to the covenant made with Israel. Because of this, God declares, “Oh, that salvation for Israel would come out of Zion.”

Since God is a God of covenant, God sees things through. In time salvation did come from Zion. Almost 2,000 years ago God-in-the-flesh came, lived, and died for us, bringing freedom from sin and death. It was necessary because we, like those being spoken to in these ancient texts, we struggle with sin and other forms of selfishness. We continue to wander off, to bring God sadness and pain. In the process we do harm to ourselves. Yet God’s covenant love washes over us too. God’s unfailing love remains faithful and true. The promise remains. We are loved beyond our sin. Salvation has come. It is ours to claim and to live into. Thanks be to God.

Prayer: Lord God, thank you for your love that endures all things and continues to love without fail. It is a gift beyond my ability to fully understand, yet it is one I treasure above all else. I know I am a sinner saved by your grace. Thank you for your love. Amen.


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He Is Calling

Reading: Luke 13:10-13

Verse 12: “When Jesus saw her, he called her forward and said to her, ‘Woman, you are set free from your infirmity.'”

One day, while doing one of his regular things – teaching in the synagogue – Jesus notices a woman. She has been crippled by a spirit for 18 years. Unable to straighten up, this woman has stood out for 18 long years. The understanding of her day and her faith would be that sinned 18 years ago. That choice would’ve led to her crippled condition. She does not approach Jesus. Perhaps this is an indication or sign of acceptance of the consequences for her sin.

Jesus sees her. His focus is drawn to her. We do not know what Jesus was teaching about. As he taught I’m sure he scanned the crowd, looking for nonverbal cues to go on, to stop and reteach, etc. While looking around Jesus sees this woman. This was a true seeing, not a ‘look at that bird over there’ kind of seeing. Jesus saw not only the woman but all that she has born these 18 long years – the pain, the stigma, the living on the margins.

He calls the woman forward and says, “Woman, you are set free from your infirmity.” In an instant, with just a few words, Jesus removes the pain, the stigma, the loneliness. He saw what separated her and removed these barriers to community, wholeness, abundant life. My friend, Jesus sees you. He calls out to you. The Christ wants to heal you, to restore you to community, wholeness, abundant life. Do you hear him calling?

Prayer: Lord God, you reach out in so many ways. Your desire is for us to have life and to have it to the full. May we hear your voice as it calls out and may we have the courage to step forward into all that you have for us. Amen.


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Pause and Think

Reading: Hosea 11:8-11

Verse 9: “I am God, and not man – the Holy One among you.”

God thinks aloud in today’s passage. As God considers the sinful behavior of Israel, God realizes that love will win. God questions how Ephraim or Israel can be given up. That would be like you or I allowing one of our children to be eliminated if we could do anything about it. We would not allow such a thing. God’s heart and compassion are aroused. There is a decision made to “not carry out my fierce anger.” In a moment of realization almost, God says, “I am God, and not man – the Holy One among you.” Exile will occur. Lessons will be learned, yes. Faith will be rebuilt. In the end, God will “roar like a lion,” and the children of God will return home.

God does today what we do often as well. God pauses and thinks things through. I’ve found that it is almost always a good thing to pause and think things through. Once in a while an immediate reaction is needed. Or it slips out. Whether angry or disappointed, offended or insulted, hurt or pained, holding our tongue and considering our words or actions first, before speaking or acting, is almost always the best way to go. Doing so we remain grounded in our faith. Doing so we offer words of healing and hope, of peace and restoration to ourselves and others. May it be so.

Prayer: Lord God, help me to model love and compassion first and foremost. Teach me to often hit the pause button and to allow you to be my first filter. Fill me with words and actions that bring healing and wholeness to all. Amen.


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Witness to Love

Reading: John 13:21-32

Verse 21: “I tell you the truth, one of you is going to betray me.”

In today’s reading from John we see Jesus identifying his betrayer. Speaking of Judas Iscariot he says, “I tell you the truth, one of you is going to betray me.” A few verses later Jesus gives him a piece of bread dipped in the dish to identify which of the 12 will betray him. Imagine how Jesus felt to know that one of the 12 who have spent three years with him, seeing the miracles, hearing the teachings, would betray him.

In reality, though, it’s not hard to imagine how Jesus felt. We’ve all felt the sting of rejection, the pain of a friend’s hurtful words or actions, the hurt of being betrayed by friends or family. Living in a selfish and lustful time, these different experiences are all too common. Adding on are our polarization of almost all things and the accompanying “cancel culture.” To identify with, to feel what Jesus felt in today’s passage – all too common.

What is our response? What is our Christian witness to this current culture? Let us also look to today’s passage to find our answers. Jesus does not exclude Judas. He does not berate him and banish him from the group. It’s just the opposite. Taking in the whole gospel account we see Jesus including Judas in the foot washing and in the first communion. What a witness to loving those who hurt us, to including even those who seek to harm us.

Yes, there is a point when personal safety or other factors do merit ending a relationship. But in today’s world we tend to make this decision when that point is still a long way off. It’s the easy way out. May we choose Jesus’ witness instead. When we are hurt, rejected, even betrayed, may we extend an invitation to the table. May we offer grace and may we seek to be peacemakers and people of reconciliation. Doing so we will witness to the one who loves without condition, to the one who desires community with all. May it be so.

Prayer: Lord God, move me past my hurts and sensitivities to love and be more like Jesus. Amen.