pastorjohnb

Thoughts and musings on faith and our mighty God!

Tag Archives: pain


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How Far Will You Go?

Reading: Romans 9:1-5

Romans 9:2 – “I have great sadness and constant pain in my heart.”

The subtitle for this week’s Romans passage is this: “The Tragedy of Israel’s Unbelief.” This subject clearly brings Paul great anguish. In verse 2 we read, “I have great sadness and constant pain in my heart.” I believe that most Christians feel this way about someone. If we thought for a moment, we could each come up with a few names to substitute into that subtitle in the place of the word “Israel.” We can all name family members, good friends, even whole groups of people who are living without Jesus in their heart. For many of those that we name, this causes us great sadness and pain in our hearts.

Paul thinks about all that Israel has going for them: God’s children, the covenants and the Law, the promises, the ancestors. But even with all of this, the Israelites refuse to accept Jesus Christ as the Messiah, as their Savior and Lord. Paul sees the scriptures and the prophets pointing to the arrival and ministry of Jesus. It almost kills Paul that the Jews cannot or will not connect these dots. So much so, in fact, Paul is willing to “be cursed, cut off from Christ.” That is a deep, deep love for seeing others come to Christ.

Returning to that name or names or group of people that came to our heart and mind earlier, I ask: What would you give to see them walking in a relationship with Jesus Christ? What would you be willing to do? Would you, like Paul, be willing to give up your salvation, to live without Christ, to daily live in sin and darkness – to save someone else? If you wouldn’t be willing to go quite this far, how far will you go to see someone else find Jesus Christ as their Lord and Savior?

Prayer: Lord God, our call and charge is to make disciples of Jesus Christ for the transformation of the world. Empower and equip us, Lord, to carry out this task with our whole heart and soul, with our entire mind and all of our strength. Lead and guide us to be all in for the building of your kingdom here on earth. Amen.


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Abiding Presence, Ongoing Work

Reading: Genesis 32:25-31

Genesis 32:31 – “The sun rose as Jacob passed Peniel, limping because of his thigh.”

Photo credit: Timo Volz

Continuing in Genesis 32 today, the “man” cannot defeat Jacob, who refuses to quit. Even after God injures Jacob’s hip, he wrestles on. Jacob must sense some purpose in this encounter. So as dawn nears and God again asks Jacob to let go, he responds, “I won’t let go until you bless me.” God blesses Jacob with a new name, symbolizing the change within. All of his life, Jacob has struggled with God. After this personal encounter, seeing God “face-to-face,” Jacob has been “saved.” Saved from selfishness and pride, Jacob can see and live beyond himself. As our passage closes, we read, “The sun rose as Jacob passed Peniel, limping because of his thigh.”

The band I AM THEY wrote a song called “Scars.” The first two verses read, “Waking up to a new sunrise, Looking back from the other side, I can see now with open eyes… Darkest water and deepest pain, I wouldn’t trade it for anything, ‘Cause my brokenness brought me to You, And these wounds are a story You’ll use.” These words remind us that, like Jacob, God works in and through our struggles. Sometimes there is deep pain and hurt. But afterwards, looking back, we can see how God changed us, transformed us. For Jacob, his limp was a tangible reminder, yes of the wrestling, but more so of the transformation. Our scars, whether physical or emotional or spiritual, remind us too of God’s abiding presence and ongoing work in our lives. As the lyrics of the chorus thank God for the scars and the reminders of who God is, may we also rejoice in God’s deliverance, victory, and transformation through the struggles.

Prayer: Lord God, while we’d never choose the struggle while in the middle of it, we can look back and see your plan, your purpose, at work. We can also see how we were changed and how we grew in our relationship with you. Thank you for your faithfulness, especially as we are often less than we should be in the struggle. And thank you for never leaving us there when we need you most. Amen.


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Glory, Hope, Joy

Reading: Romans 8:18-25

Romans 8:22 – “We know that the whole creation is groaning together and suffering labor pains up until now.”

Turning to the second part of this week’s Romans 8 passage, Paul makes a powerful statement: the suffering of this age is nothing compared to the glory to come. The glory we will one day experience in heaven will make our suffering in this world seem meaningless. Paul uses birth pains as an analogy. There are a couple of levels to this. As it relates to Paul’s opening statement, when holding a newborn child, those recent birth pains seem a distant and meaningless event.

The present reality of living faithfully in this world can be like birth pains in another way. Almost all mothers experience intense and undeniable birth pains. Some fathers experience is vicariously by being fully present in the birthing moment. Paul would argue that all of creation experiences these same birth pains. In verse 22 he writes, “We know that the whole creation is groaning together and suffering labor pains up until now.” All of creation longs to be set free from this suffering. Creation groans as it waits to be set free.

As believers we also wait with longing and groaning, eager to be adopted into the new creation, to be set free from bondage and decay. And as we wait, we do so in hope. And with patience. To wait with patience, we must have discipline. To know that glory will be amazing and wonderful helps in this regard. So we wait in hope, living daily in joy, looking forward to our final adoption. May it be so for you and for me.

Prayer: Lord God, suffering is never easy. We do not do it alone though. And we do not suffer without the knowledge and promise of the life to come. Walk with us, strengthen and encourage us, carry us in our greatest moments of need. Fill us with joy and hope each day, O Lord. Amen.


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The Pain of Death

Reading: Matthew 27:57-66

Matthew 27:61 – “Mary Magdalene and the other Mary were there, sitting in front of the tomb.”

In the story of Jesus, late Friday afternoon ends with Joseph of Arimathea requesting and receiving Jesus’ body. Moving quickly to finish the task before sunset and the start of the Sabbath, he wraps the body in a linen cloth, lays it in his own new tomb, and rolls the stone in place, sealing the tomb. Joseph was not alone: “Mary Magdalene and the other Mary were there, sitting in front of the tomb.”

It is a small crowd for Jesus’ burial. The disciples are nowhere to be found. They were hiding, fearing for their own lives. Only Joseph was willing to risk asking for the body. Only the two Mary’s refuse to leave Jesus. Their love kept all three there. Perhaps these three did not fear the religious authorities. Maybe they were unaware. But the religious leaders still fear Jesus – so much so that a guard is posted at the tomb.

Joseph and the two Mary’s are like many of us in our moments of deep grief. There are things that must be done and we go through the motions. Often people are unaware of the planning steps or even of the funeral as they look back a week later. When the body or ashes are laid in the ground, though, it feels so final. Some linger, though, unable to leave right away. Such is the case with the two Mary’s.

On this Holy Saturday we too are invited to linger, to remain present to the grief, to feel the sting of loss and the hurt of death. We mourn with the disciples, the two Mary’s, and with all others who deeply loved Jesus. We, however, also mourn with hope, because on this side of the resurrection, we know that death does not have the final word. Thanks be to God.

Prayer: Lord God, death is hard, whether expected or unexpected. On this day, help us to feel the pain, the disorientation, the tears of those closest to Jesus. As we’ve been there ourselves, guide us to join them in spirit, present even through the ages. As we feel the loss, O God, remind us too of the joy that comes with the morning. Amen.


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Wait in Hope

Reading: Psalm 130:1-6

Psalm 130:5 – “I hope, Lord. My whole being hopes, and I wait for God’s promise.”

Psalm 130 is one of the Psalms of Ascent. These songs would be sung as people made their way up to Jerusalem for a religious festival or for worship. Jerusalem was built on a hill, so the journey was always up, no matter where one approached from. The psalmist’s emotions match this physical reality. The writer cries out to God “from the depths.”

While we do not know the details of the psalmist’s current trial, we’ve all spent time in the depths. It might have been during a season battling a physical illness or emotional challenge. Maybe it was a time of unwanted change – moving to a new city or going through a divorce. Perhaps is was the time walking with someone toward death. There are many times in life when we cry out to God from our own depths.

The psalmist cries out, “I hope, Lord. My whole being hopes, and I wait for God’s promise.” Sometimes in the darkest valley, in the deepest depth, all that we have is hope. We hope in God’s promises yet remain in the depths. And like the night watch, we wait. We wait for the dawning of God’s love, light, healing, comfort, strength, redemption, rescue. We wait in Hope for the Lord our God. We trust that God is faithful.

Prayer: Lord God, be with us in the depths. In those moments when we’d do anything to escape the pain, the suffering, the hurt… enable us to hope in you and in your promises. As we linger in that moment and with those emotions, empower us to trust in you, to hold onto hope in you. Walk with us in the valley. Transform us as we go. Amen.


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Walking the Walk

Reading: Psalm 32:8-11

Psalm 32:10 – “The pain of the wicked is severe, but faithful love surrounds the one who trusts the Lord.”

Continuing in Psalm 32 today, God speaks in verses 8 and 9. These words assume that the confession and repentance spoken of in the previous verses has occurred. To those with a clean heart, God promises to “instruct you and teach you about the direction you should go.” God is talking about helping us to walk the walk of faith, to journey faithfully moving forward. To help in that process, God will “advise you” and God will “keep my eye on you.” Some of this occurs as we study the word and as we worship. Some happens as the Holy Spirit leads and guides, corrects and convicts. Our efforts are supported, strengthened, and encouraged by God’s indwelling presence.

Being honest with David and with us, God says, “Don’t be like some senseless horse or mule.” These animals are led by bit and bridle. To be forced to walk the walk of faith – that is not the way of love. As reinforcement David declares, “The pain of the wicked is severe, but faithful love surrounds the one who trusts the Lord.” We’ve all felt the pain caused by sin, whether it was our sin or the sin of another. And we have all felt the joy and gladness when our heart has been made right with God or when a broken human relationship has been reconciled. We have all felt the hope and peace of God’s love surrounding us. These are moments and experiences that we must witness to the world. With a humble servant’s heart, may our lives “sing out in joy!” May it be so!

Prayer: Lord God, our will is weak but you are strong. Our walk becomes unsteady and misguided at times. You are always steadfast and true. Our obedience wavers and sometimes even fails. Your love always calls us back and your grace and mercy guide us back into right relationship with you and with one another. As we walk the walk of faith, lead us into a closer and closer connection to your will and way, to your heart and your love. Amen.


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Bring the Light

Reading: Isaiah 49:5-7

Isaiah 49:6b – “I will also appoint you as a light to the nations, so that my salvation may reach to the end of the earth.”

Photo credit: Gian D.

Continuing in Isaiah 49 today, the prophet shares God’s decision. It is not simply a change of heart. The time in exile prophesied by Jeremiah and others is drawing to a close. The 70 years are up. It is time to “restore Jacob to God.” A group will lead the return to God, then larger Israel will follow, also returning to God. To begin the process of returning to the Promised Land, God has honored the prophet, becoming his strength.

While this brings hope and joy to the prophet, God says, “It is not enough.” Yes, God will “raise up” the tribes of Jacob, and, yes, God will bring home “the survivors of exile.” But this is not enough. God’s plan is far bigger than Isaiah envisioned. God works this way in our lives too. Yes, it is awesome that God has brought your family to Jesus Christ. But then God asks, what about your neighbor and the stranger down the street? And what about “those” people in “that” part of town?

In verse 7 we get the full scope of God’s plan: “I will also appoint you as a light to the nations, so that my salvation may reach to the end of the earth.” God’s plan is to save all people everywhere. That other part of town? Yes. And the people of our reservations and inner cities and the people on the other side of the world? Yes, yes, and yes! Carrying the light of Christ in our hearts, God’s people are appointed by God to bring the light of Christ to all people. Reading on we see that even kings and military leaders will bow before the Lord. All on account of the Lord. And all because we who are chosen are faithful to our charge. May it be so for you and for me.

Prayer: Lord God, we first ask that the light of Christ would burn brightly in our hearts. Burning brightly may your fire burn away the chaff and sin, readying us to step into the world’s darkness and pain. Use our light to open blind eyes and to soften hard hearts. Use our light to guide others to welcome the light of Christ into their hearts. Amen.


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Radical Love

Reading: Luke 23:33-38

Luke 23:34 – “Father, forgive them, for they don’t know what they’re doing.”

Our readings today and tomorrow focus on Jesus’ crucifixion. The way of Jesus stands in very sharp contrast to the ways of the world. This contrast begins in verse 33. The Romans crucify three people. Two crucifixions are just and one is unjust. All three accomplish the same goal: eliminating those who challenge your power. This remains the way of the world.

Those present at the crucifixion, all three groups named in today’s reading, they all equate power with strength, control, wealth, status. The religious leaders and the soldiers and the Roman governor sneer at and mock Jesus. They all want (or say they want) Jesus to exert some of his power to come down off the cross: “Save yourself.” That’s what we’d try to do. We’d try to save ourselves. Many there that day that utter these words have seen the miracles and heard the unearthly wisdom of Jesus’ teachings. Pilate’s sign above Jesus’ head mocks him too. A king? Surely he would save himself if that were true. Today we continue to mock and sneer at things and at people that do not meet our expectations and/or that we do not understand.

Jesus’ power runs counter to all of these ways of power and of the world. As he is physically being nailed to the cross – large spikes being driven through his palms and his feet – Jesus says, “Father, forgive them, for they don’t know what they’re doing.” As John Wesley noted in a sermon, Jesus ignores this incredible pain because he is more worried about the salvation of all involved in the crucifixion. Forgiving others always, this is power. The way of love for God and neighbor triumphs over all things. Thanks be to God for this most excellent way of love.

Prayer: Lord God, what great power we see in your radical way of love. It was unaffected by the things of the world going on around you. It was an unconditional love that reached out to those harming you and taking your life. Lord, fill us with this powerful love. Filled, send us out as your radical love lived out in the world. Amen.


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Lean In, Trust

Reading: Psalm 79:1-5

Psalm 79:5 – “How long will you rage, Lord? Forever? How long will your anger burn like fire?”

Today the psalmist asks a question we all ask: How long? In almost every difficult situation that we face and endure, we come to this question. Whether referring to the waves of grief that don’t relent or to the job search that won’t resolve itself or to the bullying that your child faces day after day or to the violence and destruction that the psalmist faces, in times of trial or pain or suffering or grief, we ask God: How long?

While we do not ever receive a specific time and date from God that tells us when relief or resolution will occur, we can have a hand in how we walk in and through these dark valleys. We can choose to shout “How long?” with a clenched fist raised against God. Or we can choose to whisper “How long?” with hands open to receive from God. The psalmist models the second option. For us, we must begin where the psalmist began, naming the situation. In this case, the writer names what it looks and feels like in the aftermath of the Babylonians destroying Jerusalem and the temple. The physical scene is horrific. To look at it and to name it begins to move one past the “Is this real?” stage. While painful, acceptance is an important step in our healing process.

The psalmist is also open and vulnerable with his emotions. From his perspective, all has been done to God’s city, to God’s temple, to God’s people. This goes against previous religious understandings and creates disorientation, forcing a new understanding of God and the world. Adding to the trauma is the ridicule coming from pagan neighbors. At times of grief or suffering or pain perhaps you or someone you know has heard, “If you just did (or didn’t)…” These words sting – as if you would have chosen this terrible outcome.

Laying it all on the table before the Lord and others we love and trust is an act of surrender, a practice in humility. Even as the psalmist asks “How long?” there is a leaning into God’s presence, a trust in God to act and move even in this place of death, loss, suffering… In our times of deep need, may we too be open and vulnerable and honest with God and with those close to us. May our hands be open to receive.

Prayer: Lord God, these initial steps can be so hard. We’d rather close our eyes and withdraw. When this is our first step, Lord, help us to feel your hand reaching out, to sense your Spirit surrounding us. Walk with us in love and grace. Amen.


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Tears of Grief

Reading: Jeremiah 8:18-9:2

Jeremiah 8:21 – “Because my people are crushed, I am crushed; darkness and despair overwhelm me.”

Photo credit: Rainier Ridao

In today’s passage from Jeremiah it is difficult to determine if God is speaking or if it is Jeremiah speaking. Our verses today seem to be a mix of the two, with both God and prophet expressing their grief over Judah’s fate. For many years, God’s people have been unfaithful to their God. Their choice to abandon God has led to God’s choice to abandon them to their sin. At times we too can choose to separate ourselves from God. We too grieve God’s heart this deeply.

God seems to be the speaker in verses 19-21. The people are asking a question and implying another that are common in times of loss and pain and grief. Directly they are asking where the Lord is: “Isn’t the Lord in Zion?” This is a question often asked in grief. The second question is implied: Why, why is this happening to us? This is a question that we can ask when lost in our sin as well. When our sin that consumed us leads to a place of pain and suffering, we can forget that our choices brought us to this place. In the disorientation of grief, we do ask “Why?”

For God’s people , the answer is given: idol worship has led to this place. As the prophet that worked to turn Judah back to God, Jeremiah grieves too. In verse 21 we read, “Because my people are crushed, I am crushed; darkness and despair overwhelm me.” The tentacles of grief surround the prophet. He laments alongside the people who are far from God. This is a place we will also find ourselves. Walking alongside others in grief, feeling and taking on some of their pain and sorrow. Our tears join their tears as we offer love and comfort in the midst of their hurt and despair. Doing so, we bring God’s presence into the darkness and despair.

Prayer: Lord God, times of grief and suffering are sure to come – to ourselves, to those we love, to our neighbors. In these times, may we sense your presence and may we lean into your love and strength, whether for ourselves or as we walk with others. Be with us in our tears, O God. Amen.