pastorjohnb

Thoughts and musings on faith and our mighty God!

Tag Archives: emotion


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God Is Waiting

Reading: Psalm 13:1-2

Psalm 13:1a – “How long will you forget me, Lord? Forever?”

Photo credit: Nathan Dumlao

In Psalm 13, David asks a question we often want to ask God: “How long…?” Living in a world where faster is better, where instant is preferred over slow-cooked, waiting is hard. The difficulty can escalate quickly. In a rush, we hop in the drive-through line. But the person in front of us takes forever ordering a lengthy list and the other lane is moving much faster and… Difficulty can ramp up in our faith too. God loves and cares for us. God sees and hears us. God is on our side. And the trial or hardship goes on and on and on…

David gives us an important example here in Psalm 13. In our culture we’re taught to tough it out, to pull up our bootstraps (or pants) and to just work/try harder. We’re taught to keep our emotions – especially our tears, gentlemen – to ourselves. David does just the opposite. He comes to God with the question: “How long will you forget me, Lord? Forever?” He asks the question with emotion. He feels forgotten. God seems distant. David feels all alone. God isn’t helping him in his time of distress – at all!

We too can find ourselves in these places. We too will want to question God, to maybe even rant a bit. God is good with this. Our God wants all of us. God desires to have an open, honest, and transparent relationship with us. God desires to be present in the good, in the bad, and everywhere in between. May we meet God in all of these places. God is waiting.

Prayer: Lord God, you don’t just want our polished, social media ready image. You want the full us – because you love us unconditionally. You lean in when we lean in. You are present even when we feel all alone, even when we shout, “How long?!” You are responding even in the waiting. Continue to shape and form us as you see best. Amen.


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Steady and Consistent

Reading: Psalm 86:1-10 and 16-17

Psalm 86:2 – “Guard my life because I am faithful. Save your servant who trusts in you – you! My God!”

Psalm 86 is attributed to David and is a “servant’s prayer for protection.” David mixes together a range of emotions and of faith. At times he affirms God’s certain response and at other times David reminds God (and himself?) that he is indeed faithful to God. Sometimes it feels like David is trying to motivate God to act on his behalf because is suffering and sometimes because David’s enemies need to be put to shame! When I am troubled and pray to God, my emotions and my faith can range far and wide too. Maybe you’ve experienced this as well.

Verse 2 is a great example of this range of faith and emotion. Here we read, “Guard my life because I am faithful. Save your servant who trusts in you – you! My God!” David petitions God’s guarding and saving while reminding God how faithful and trusting he is in God. I can slip into the same “How can you let this happen God – don’t you know how…?” prayer. In the end, these thoughts and prayers really come down to our questioning the status of our relationship with God. This questioning is most present when I’ve been neglecting my daily time with God.

In seasons of my life I’ve treated God like a vending machine. I’ve come to God when I need or want something, but when life is good or even just okay, I’ve let my relationship slide. I’ve come to realize that when I think I need to remind God how faithful and trusting I am, it’s really me that needs reminding that I haven’t been these things lately. This realization often draws me back to the God who has been present all along, just waiting for me to do the same. Lord, may it be so.

Prayer: Lord God, help me to walk a more steady and consistent faith. Even though the day always begins with you now, I can still drift away during the everyday of life. In moments when other things begin to creep in, lessening my connection to you, touch my heart and draw me close. Thank you, God, for your faithfulness. Amen.


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Witness to Truth

Reading: Psalm 15

Psalm 15:1 – “Who can live in your tent, Lord? Who can dwell on your holy mountain?”

Photo credit: Aaron Burden

Psalm 15 begins with two questions. The questions, listed above, set the reader up for hearing a prescription for holiness. These words attributed to David give us the basic do’s and don’ts of faithful living. In verse 2 we get the do’s: “live free of blame, do what is right, and speak the truth sincerely.” From a Biblical perspective it is relatively easy to understand how we are to live, do, and speak in the world. Unfortunately, most of our world does not understand or live from this perspective. We’ve long been living in the “post-Christian” era. Today, though, I read a new thought. Disciplines writer Olena Tovianska declares that we are living in a “post-truth” era. She argues that emotional appeal often overrides the facts. I believe she is correct. In this time in which we are living, I would add the thought that truth is now transactional.

Verse 3 is the beginning of the antidote for today. To not “harm a friend,” to not “damage with talk,” to not “insult a neighbor” – this would be a good start. The correct steps continue in the next verse: to despise the wicked and to honor the honorable. These choices would also work against this “post-truth” era. Next we read of keeping our word, “even when it hurts.” Integrity, honesty, uprightness. Such people would never take advantage of the needy or take a bribe to pervert justice. Such people would live as a witness to the power of the truth.

David assesses such people , stating, “Whoever does these things will never stumble.” While this mostly true for those daily seeking to walk with the Lord, I believe that we are at a point where our overall witness is so important. Living as Psalm 15 describes, we will help others not to stumble. This matters because there is a whole lot of stumbling going on these days.

Prayer: Lord God, guide our walk today to be steady and true, honest and upright. Send us out into the world as truth-bearers, as witnesses to Christ’s way of being, doing, and speaking in the world. And when the world pushes back, when it’s about to hurt, strengthen and encourage us through the power of the Holy Spirit dwelling in each of us. Bearing light and love and truth to the world, make we bring peace and stability to our world. Amen.


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All for Us

Reading: Psalm 22:1-18

Psalm 22:7-8 – “All who see me make fun of me… ‘He committed himself to the Lord, so let God rescue him ‘”

Photo credit: Emily Crawford

In these words of David there is lament, sorrow, pain, abandonment. As we read these words we can feel what David was going through. Perhaps you, like me, connected back to an experience in your life when you felt these emotions. Jesus felt them. Throughout this Psalm we see connections to the passion of the Christ.

David begins with words Jesus echoes from the cross: “My God, my God, why have you left me all alone?” Taking the sin of the world upon himself, God could not look at Jesus. David then recalls times – both personal and corporate – when God rescued, saved, answered the prayers and cries for help. That trust and faith still wants to be there. The pain and suffering just makes it hard.

David is being “insulted by one person, despised by another.” On the cross, Jesus endured taunts, insults, mocking. In verses 7-8 we read, “All who see me make fun of me… ‘He committed himself to the Lord, so let God rescue him.'” The gospels echo these last words, spoken by the religious leaders who orchestrated Jesus’ crucifixion. In verses 9-11 there is a slight reprieve to the difficult emotions. David recalls a life committed to God. He asks for God’s presence. In the garden there are moments of intimate prayer between Jesus and God. Reflecting his own commitment and obedience, Jesus says, “Not my will…”

On the cross, as it was in the Psalm for David, it must’ve felt like everyone was against Jesus. He must’ve felt surrounded. Jesus’ life was poured out like water for us. The soldiers cast lots for Jesus’ clothes. Jesus was pierced in the hands and feet. All for us. All for us. Thanks be to God.

Prayer: Lord God, you truly hold it all in your hands. In these words that you inspired in David we see Christ’s story, played out a thousand years later. Your plan is grand. Yet you also hold each of us in your hands. You created us in the womb, designed to bear that image to the world. You walk with us daily. You are our God. Thank you. Amen.


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The Good Path

Readings: Proverbs 4 and 5

‭Proverbs 4:23 – “More than anything you guard, protect your mind, for life flows from it.”

Today’s two chapters focus first on loving wisdom and then on avoiding the “mysterious woman.” The author encourages his sons to “let your hearts hold my words.” If one holds onto wisdom then she will guard one’s life. She will protect those who love her. Following these words of wisdom will lead to a long, good life. Therefore we are to love and guard and protect wisdom. The wicked, though, they “eat the bread of evil” and they “drink the wine of violence.” These destructive appetites must be fed. They lead to “deep darkness.” But the way of the righteous is light that gets “brighter and brighter.”

In 4:23 we read, “More than anything you guard, protect your mind, for life flows from it.” In ancient thought the mind was the center of emotions, thought, reason. We are to guard these. This keeps us focused “straight ahead.” It keeps us walking on paths that are secure. The way of the wicked would be crooked and filled with obstacles that would make one stumble.

Chapter 5 focuses on the “mysterious woman.” Although her words “drip honey” and can be enticing and alluring, in fact they are “bitter as gall.” To get involved with this woman is to lose one’s strength, wealth, and reputation. This path leads to “bitter ruin.” The good path involves “drinking from your own cistern.” This is keeping true and faithful to your spouse. We are called to rejoice in this relationship. If we do not we are warned that we will be “caught… in the ropes of our own sin.” In Romans 6 Paul speaks of these “wages of sin.” They lead to death. May we choose instead the good path of life.

Prayer: Lord God, the way of temptation and evil is wide. It leads to sin and death. Guard our hearts and minds, O Lord. Lead us, your sons and daughters, to choose you and your ways. These lead to life. Guide us to your path, O God. Amen.


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Again and Again

Reading: Psalm 17:1-7 and 15

Verse 6: “I call on you, my God, for you will answer me; turn your ear to me and hear my prayer.”

Photo credit: Diego Gennaro

When you go to the Lord God, how do you pray? Do you pray with boldness and confidence? Or do you pray with humility and meekness? Or do your prayers typically fall somewhere in between these parameters?

We often think that prayers have to be a certain way. They don’t. We often think that we should leave the praying aloud stuff to the professionals. We shouldn’t. We often think we need to hold back our emotions. Uh, no. We often think that we are bothering God with our little requests. Never ever.

Looking at Psalm 17 we see one model for our prayers. But Psalm 17 is not the one right way to pray. There are many other Psalms and many other models of prayer that we find littered throughout the Bible. In this Psalm we can find elements that are worthy of noticing and emulating. First, David’s heart is right when he comes to God. There is no deceit or sin. He has been walking faithfully with God. Second, there is a trust in their relationship. They are not strangers. In verse 6 David prays, “I call on you, my God, for you will answer me; turn your ear to me and hear my prayer.” David is confident and bold. This is built up on their steady relationship and upon David’s experience with God. David goes to God in prayer again and again. God answers again and again.

Again and again… That’s the way to pray. May it be so.

Prayer: Lord God, your presence never fails. You are always there to hear my prayers. Thank you for your faithful heart. Thank you for desiring such a close and personal relationship with me. Guide me and help me to walk in your way of love, seeking righteousness and holiness and my foundations. Amen.


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Hear Our Cry, O God!

Reading: Psalm 130

Verses 1-2: “Out of the depths I cry to you, Lord; Lord, hear my voice.”

Photo credit: Stormseeker

The psalmist cries out to God. From “the depths” the psalmist goes to God full of emotion and from a place of discontent. If you’ve walked with God for a while then you, like me, have found yourself in a place very similar to the place the psalmist finds himself or herself. Sometimes we place ourselves there. Our sins or other poor choices have led us to a place in our relationship with God and/or with others that is discomforting and charged with emotions. At other times we find ourselves needing to cry out to God because of something someone else has done or because life simply happens. From these depths we too cry out to God.

In the rest of verse 2 we read, “Let your ears be attentive to my cry for mercy.” The psalmist is asking God to not just hear the words of his or her lips. He or she is asking God to really listen, to receive these words, to pay attention to this cry of the heart. This is an invitation to God to receive us into a deeper relationship, into a more personal connection. To cry out in such a way is an expression of trust and faith. One would not pour out one’s heart unless there was a foundational trust and faith in a response. We are invited to go to God in such a way.

What are the cries of your heart? Are you angry or hurt? Are you lost or filled with questions? Are you lonely or experiencing unwanted change? Are you drowning in grief or wrestling with a big decision? Are you in a tight place financially or are you bone tired? There is no place that we cannot cry out from. There is no cry that God will not hear. So in faith and in trust and with hope, may we cry out to God.

Prayer: Lord God, hear my cry from the depths of my heart to the depths of yours. Through your son, feel what I am feeling, know what pulls at my heart and soul. Attune your ear to my cry, O God. Amen.


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Grieving Loss

Reading: 2nd Samuel 1:1 and 17-27

Verses 24 and 26: “O daughters of Israel, weep for Saul… I grieve for you, Jonathan my brother”.

Photo credit: Frank McKenna

Grief knocks on all of our doors. It is a part of life that we all walk through. In our passage today David expresses his grief over the deaths of Saul and Jonathan. He pours out his emotions of grief in a song. These words will also allow others to grieve these hard losses.

Songs like “I Can Only Imagine” and hymns like “Amazing Grace” and “In the Garden” come to mind as I consider David’s outpouring of grief. Song has long been a means to process and express our grief. The words remind us of our faith in God as well as offering soothing to our pain and heartache.

As David begins he writes, “Your glory, O Israel, lies slain on your heights”. The king and his sons died in battle. “The mighty have fallen”. It is a national loss, one to be grieved corporately. But it is also a personal loss. We can feel David’s grief as he writes, “O daughters of Israel, weep for Saul… I grieve for you, Jonathan my brother”. Saul was his king, Jonathan his best friend.

We too have experienced loss. We too have known grief. Saul and Jonathan were “loved and gracious” – worthy of the lament that David offers. We too have lost those who were loved and gracious. This lament of David reminds us of our time in the valley of the shadow of death. As we join David in his lament may we also pause to remember ours who have gone on to glory. As we do, may the Lord bring us comfort.

Prayer: Loving God who is as near as our next breath, wrap us in your arms as we enter lament. May your love enfold us and may your strength carry us. Thank you for your abiding presence. Amen.


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Faith Over Fear

Reading: Mark 4: 35-41

Verse 40: “Why are you so afraid? Do you still have no faith”?

Our passage today comes after many days of healing, teaching, and traveling. Jesus decides to cross the lake. In a boat with several others, they set out. Being tired, Jesus rests. It is natural for the fishermen among them to navigate the waters. A “furious squall” comes up and soon Jesus’ companions are fearing for their lives. They wake Jesus and say, “Teacher, don’t you care if we drown?” Their faith and trust is gone. Fear has set in. They question if Jesus even cares.

Back in my teaching days and even as a pastor, I would come home upset or bothered by something at work. At home, where I was comfortable, I would let out the emotion, usually not in a healthy or good way. The fear or anger or whatever other emotion I was struggling with would cloud my heart; it would affect how I treated my wife or kids. I would not take it to the Lord in prayer. I would not read my Bible for divine wisdom. I would unload on someone who had nothing to do with the situation.

The disciples turn to Jesus and say, don’t you care?! Turning to him and blaming him, they allow fear to speak. Jesus quickly addresses the source of their fear and then turns to the root of the problem, saying, “Why are you so afraid? Do you still have no faith”? I have been here. I’ve allowed fear and other negative emotions to seize the day, even though I knew Jesus was right there. I’ve let it build up until I’m at the point of crying out. When I could not go any longer and finally cried out to God, I too heard these questions. Later, after some time, like the disciples I too realized that I should have turned to my faith long before my fear won out. It is a moment of growth, a reminder to pray sooner, to delve into my Bible quicker, to lean into the one who is always present, right there in my little boat. May this be the choice made each time: faith over fear. May it be so for you and for me.

Prayer: Lord God, when fear or worry or stress or anger or… begin to arise in me, remind me of the depth of your love, of the wideness of your grace. Remind me that you are always right there – close as a whispered prayer, nearby in the words of life that I can read. Turn me ever to you. Amen.


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Always, Always

Reading: Psalm 51: 7-12

Verse 11: “Do not cast me from your presence or take your Holy Spirit from me”.

Photo credit: Jonas Jacobsson

Originally the Psalms were songs or prayers used to worship God. The Psalms express the collective whole of our human emotions, the challenges of our faith, and the depth of God’s love for us. Psalm 51 is David’s prayer to God that encompasses all three of these expressions.

Lent is a time when we also express these things as we look within and seek to live a more faithful life. When we do as David does in this Psalm – bearing his heart and soul to a holy and just God – there is a deep trust that God will cleanse us and will bring us healing, that God will “restore to me the joy of your salvation”. There is also a hard reality too. To “create in me a pure heart” and to cleanse me, God has to get a good, clear look at my sins and failures. That is humbling. That feels vulnerable.

Have you ever messed up really bad and you know that you have to go and apologize? You know you need to try and make things right again. You want to restore the relationship. But you really messed up. In your heart and mind you wonder if they’ll forgive you or if they’ll send you packing. Even though David has walked a long time with God, there is a part of him cautious about bringing these sins before God. David really messed up. This feeling runs beneath the surface of the Psalm. In his mind, great is his sin. A part of David wonders if God will restore those “crushed bones”… In verse eleven David pleads, “Do not cast me from your presence or take your Holy Spirit from me”. God, don’t send me packing. These words of David acknowledge God as the one with the power and ability to cleanse and restore, as the one who renews and sustains us. And these words express a desire to be in God’s presence, to continue in relationship with God. This desire connects into David’s request for knowing again the joy of salvation and of having a “willing spirit” within that sustains him.

In our human relationships we do sometimes wonder if they’ll forgive us. Did we mess up too bad this time? With God there really is no doubt, no questioning, no point of being “too bad”. God always, always seek to cast the net wide, to guide us back into a right relationship with him. As David did, we must enter into his holy and just presence, trusting in a love that is greater than all of our sin. Thanks be to God for his love.

Prayer: God, create in me a willing spirit, a deep desire to have a pure heart. Cleanse me daily of my iniquities, restore me often to the joy of your salvation. Grant me a willing spirit that seeks to be in an intimate and personal relationship with you. Amen.