pastorjohnb

Thoughts and musings on faith and our mighty God!

Tag Archives: self


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Changed Hearts

Readings: Genesis 42, Genesis 43, Genesis 44, Genesis 45

Genesis 45:7 – “God sent me before you to make sure you’d survive and to rescue your lives in this amazing way.”

Today’s reading covers the story of the reunion of Joseph and his family. The famine has spread far and wide. Jacob hears that Egypt has grain to sell. He sends 10 of his sons to buy grain, keeping Benjamin home. Joseph’s initial reaction with his brothers is harsh, accusatory, and searching. He sends the 10 “spies” to jail with the charge to decide who goes to get Benjamin. In the morning he states that he will keep just one while the others go. Simeon is put in jail while the others leave to retrieve Benjamin, “proving” they are not spies. Joseph has their grain sacks loaded – and places their silver back in there too. Jacob finally relents and sends Benjamin along with gifts, the original silver, and more silver for more grain.

Upon arrival the brothers confess about the silver to Joseph’s household manager. He dismissed it as a gift of God, stating that he received their silver. Simeon rejoins them at Joseph’s home. Seeing Benjamin overwhelms Joseph for a moment. He invited his brothers to a meal, seating them oldest to youngest. He gives Benjamin a portion five times larger. Joseph eats at a table set apart, as is the custom in Egypt.

The grain sacks are filled in the morning and again the silver is replaced. Plus Joseph’s silver cup is hidden in Benjamin’s sack. They leave for home but quickly Joseph’s servants catch up. The brothers profess their innocence and declare death to the one who did such a thing. Slavery will do fine says the manager. The cup is found in Benjamin’s sack. Returning, Judah steps up, recounting Jacob’s words and offering himself in place of Benjamin. Moved, Joseph clears the room of all Egyptians and weeps loudly, revealing himself to his brothers. He assured them that this was all God, saying, “God sent me before you to make sure you’d survive and to rescue your lives in this amazing way.” Plans are made for Jacob and his whole household to move to Egypt, where Joseph can take care of them. The brothers go home and Jacob is overjoyed to hear that Joseph is alive.

It is quite the end to the story that began with selling a hated brother into slavery. Joseph proceeds with caution when he first meets his brothers, but ultimately sees that their hearts have changed. In grace and love reconciliation is found. May we also be people willing to offer the grace and love that leads to forgiveness and reconciliation.

Prayer: Lord God, open our hearts to be people of grace and love and forgiveness. Help us to see how you have been at work, leading and guiding. Empower us to trust in your good plans. Amen.


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Resisting the Urge

Reading: Exodus 32:1-10

Verse 7: “Go down, because your people, whom you brought up out of Egypt, have become corrupt.”

Moses was the Israelite’s connection to God. God spoke to Moses and he spoke to the people. The people spoke to Moses and he spoke to God. The speaking sometimes was crying out; it was sometimes grumbling; it was sometimes quarreling. The relationships between God and Moses, between Moses and the people, and between God and the people all had their ups and downs.

Way back in chapter 24 God calls Moses up the mountain after leaving Aaron and Hur in charge. Moses spends 40 days on the mountain, receiving instructions and the Ten Commandments from God. In today’s passage the people approach Aaron. They wonder what has happened to Moses. He has been gone a really long time. Without Moses, the people’s relationship with God has a missing part. So they take matters into their own hands, saying to Aaron, “Come, make us gods who will go before us.” Aaron collects jewelry and makes an idol shaped like a calf. The people worship this idol. Looking down upon the scene, God says to Moses, “Go down, because your people, whom you brought up out of Egypt, have become corrupt.” The Israelites are now “your people.” If they were truly God’s people, there would be no idol, right?

When I’ve gone to God asking for some guidance on a project or for relief from some situation or for healing for a loved one and the answer seems like a long time coming, I want to take matters into my own hands. I want to just fashion my own solution. I can be tempted to think that I know best. I can ponder becoming my own person, not God’s person. In these moments, may we remember today’s lesson. Even though it may not feel like it, God is right there. May we hold onto the relationship, resisting the urge to quickly abandon our God. And may we trust into our relationship with God, leaning even deeper into God’s love and care.

Prayer: Lord God, when I am tempted to elevate self or some other idol above you, remind me of the lesson learned in this Exodus story. Use that to remind me of your constant love and your sure care. Guide me to turn once again to you. Amen.


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Back to Verse 2!

Reading: Exodus 20:12-17

Verse 12…: “Honor your father and your mother… you shall not… you shall not… you shall not…”

Photo credit: Shane Rounce

We began the week with the first part of the Ten Commandments. These first four related to our relationship with God and centered on the declaration, “I AM the Lord your God.” This same declaration arcs over today’s 6 commandments. These deal with our relationships with others.

Verse 12 calls us to “honor your father and your mother.” This 5th commandment is a bridge of sorts. On the surface it calls us to honor, respect, and treat our parent(s) well. This relationship begins with our total dependence on them and this changes as we mature and become more and more independent. The temptation here is to leave them behind, to quit relying on them, or to see them as equals (or less than that during our teen years). This commandment is a bridge because this can be how our relationship with God plays out too. Initially we yearn for God and we have a longing to know God more and more. Quite often, though, that fire cools and we don’t think that we need God as much. We pull out God now and then – as needed.

The remaining 5 commandments all begin with the words “you shall not…” These words come with an implication. They say that we are prone to these things. This is the humanity in all of us. Self rises up and can do so to unhealthy or dangerous levels, leading to murder, adultery… This is why it is so necessary to return again and again to verse 2: “I AM the Lord your God.” This return keeps our relationship with God in the right perspective. This key relationship affects all of our other relationships. When we live daily with the Lord as our God, then we honor not only our fathers and our mothers, but we also honor all of our brothers and sisters too. May it be so.

Prayer: Lord God, draw me first and foremost to you and to your will and ways. From this connection of love, send me out into the world. Guide me to interact with, treat, and see others as I would treat, see, and interact with you. Amen.


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The Love of God

Reading: Philippians 2:1-13

Verse 3: “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves.”

Paul opens this section on imitating Christ’s Humility by reminding those in the church of the encouragement, fellowship, tenderness, and compassion that they receive from Christ. These gifts draw the church together. These gifts power unity and connection. Paul invites the followers of Christ to “be one in spirit and purpose.” Is Paul inviting us to be one with Christ or one with each other? The answer is “both!”

To that end Paul gives this directive in verse 3: “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves.” Paul is really encouraging us to be like Jesus. Now, for Jesus, this was a very intentional choice. Jesus could calm the sea and restore someone to life. He could heal diseases, brokenness, and slavery to sin. He could chat with Moses and Elijah and he could rain down power from above. If anyone had the ability to pursue selfish ambition or had the accolades to be conceited, it was Jesus. But instead Jesus chose the role of humble servant. He chose to put God above all else and to place others needs above his own. We are called to this one purpose and spirit.

What made it possible for Jesus to walk daily in full obedience to God? What empowered Jesus to live out the role of humble servant? It was love. The love of God for all of creation flowed throughout Jesus’ whole being. This love found worth in all he met. This love elevated the other above self. It focused his life on living out God’s will and purpose. May it be so for you and for me.

Prayer: Lord God, fill me with your love. May that love first lead me to give my heart, soul, mind, and strength to you. From there, Lord, may that love lead me to pour self out for others, covering them in your love. Guide me in your ways, O God. Use me for your purposes. Amen.


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What Can Anyone Give?

Reading: Matthew 16:24-28

Verse 26: “What can anyone give in exchange for their soul?”

Today’s passage begins with Jesus offering a challenge and an invitation. He states that if one wants to follow him (that’s what happens after we profess him as our Lord and Savior), that one must do two things. First, one must deny self. Second, one must take up their own cross. In the reality of faith, I believe these are often repeated events and practices.

Professing Jesus as Lord is step 1 of denying self. In this confession we are declaring that Jesus is our top priority, that he is the #1, that he occupies the throne of our heart. The flip side is that we are none of these things. This is the beginning of denying self. Making the declaration is the easy part. It is often made in a moment of passion for Christ. We are “on fire.” The much harder and ongoing challenge is keeping the profession as we enter the world. These daily steps are the hardest. The ways, norms, and practices of the world often clash with our faith, causing us to evaluate our choices and decisions one by one in the light of faith.

In the same way, taking up our cross is not a once-in-a-lifetime act. It is not exactly the same as when Jesus took up the actual cross. It is the same in that taking up our cross involves sacrifice and it is on behalf of others. And, oh yes, there is usually also some suffering involved. As with denying self, there is a cost to this act too. One can take up the cross in many ways. Some efforts provide the arc of our faith journey. Think of a missionary in China or of Mother Teresa in India. For most of us, though, they are shorter term. Strung together they reveal the arc of our story of faith. We might stand against an injustice being done. This ends when justice prevails. We might befriend someone who is an outsider or outcast. This ends when our love leads others to love and include this person. We might commit to walking with someone experiencing addiction. This ends with long-term sobriety or recovery. Some of these can be lengthy but not forever.

Taken together these become our journey of faith. Casually speaking, these practices become our lifestyle. Lived out, we experience losing this earthly life and all of its attachments. In turn we gain true life – a life focused ultimately on the gift of eternal life, both for us and for all others. It is a day by day, moment by moment focus. Jesus asks, “What can anyone give in exchange for their soul?” Nothing but a day by day, moment by moment walk of faith. May it be so for you and for me.

Prayer: Lord God, you ask for all of me to be given, to be poured out for you. From the outside it seemed like such an ask. But now on the inside, it feels like the only possible choice, understanding what you did and do for me. Use me this day and every day in loving service to you and to my neighbors. Amen.


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Transformed Not Conformed

Reading: Romans 12:1-2

Verse 2a: “Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.”

Paul shifts gears as we turn to chapter 12. The last 4 verses of chapter 11 are a doxology. This closing prayer of praise to God wraps up the focus of the last few chapters and shifts our thinking to the “how” of living as a believer. Paul begins chapter 12 urging us to “offer your bodies as a living sacrifice.” Paul, as Jesus often did, is using an old word in a new way. To the Jews a sacrifice was the lamb or dove or grain or oil that was brought to the altar in the temple. Often blood was spilled and life was lost. In other sacrifices the offering was poured out or burnt upon the altar. There was a finality to each particular sacrifice.

Paul’s call is to be “living sacrifices.” This is an ongoing giving of self to God and to others. In Jesus’ language it is dying to self again and again in order to truly love God and neighbor. So, how do we place ourselves in a position to do this? We make the intentional choice to live according to God’s will and way. It’s not easy. The world is always tugging at us. For the daily battle, Paul offers this advice: “Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.” Winning this battle requires an intentional choice to say “NO” to the ways and norms of the world. Saying “no” to the world allows us to say “YES” to God’s transformation of our minds. This renewing of our mind is an ongoing process. Day by day it shapes us more and more into God’s image. It brings us closer and closer to understanding and then living out God’s “good, pleasing, and perfect will.” May it be so for us all each day.

Prayer: Lord God, we need you so much in this battle to transform ourselves into who and what you call us to be. The voice of the world is so loud and so convincing at times. Elevate the voice of the Spirit over this constant buzz. Hearing the Spirit more clearly, lead us to be transformed more and more into the image and example of Christ. Amen.


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Loving Deeply

Reading: Romans 6:1-11

Verse 8: “Now if we died with Christ, we believe that we will also live with him.”

Photo credit: Shane

In Romans 6 Paul writes of our new life in Christ. Our new life begins with our baptism into Christ – professing our faith in Jesus as the Lord of our life and as the Savior of our soul. Our old worldly self is left behind figuratively as we become a new creation in Christ. In reality, though, our old self is still there, trying to be reborn again and again in us, tempting us towards sin. Into this reality, Paul writes, “we are no longer slaves to sin.” Because Christ lives in us, sin no longer has “mastery” over us. Through the Spirit of Christ in us, we can use his power to resist the temptations.

As new creations in Christ we live differently. In verse 8 we read, “Now if we died with Christ, we believe that we will also live with him.” Taking on and welcoming in the Spirit, committing to follow and walk in Jesus’ example, we walk in a new way in the world. Just as Christ “lived to God” so too are we to live. In a general sense this means advancing and building the kingdom of God here on earth. This entails being love lived out, being kindness and mercy for all. This means we live as persons of peace and of healing and of restoration and of reconciliation. At times this will call us to stand out as we stand up against injustice and oppression and other forms of evil, just as Jesus himself did. This leans into the cost of discipleship that we heard Jesus speaking of yesterday in Matthew 10. May we lean in well, loving deeply into Christ Jesus.

Prayer: Lord God, make me a willing servant, a faithful follower. Open my eyes and my heart to the ways you want me to love well in this world. Use me to draw all peoples into your kingdom here on earth. Amen.


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More Outside Than Inside

Reading: Psalm 66:8-20

Verses 8-9: “Praise our God, all peoples… God has preserved our lives and kept our feet from slipping.”

Psalm 66 is a song of praise for what God has done. The first part of the Psalm focuses on the corporate or communal perspective. This is an important perspective to keep. It helps us see, live in, and recognize the bigger picture. While God undoubtedly works in each of our lives, we can see God’s plan unfolding in a different way when we get outside of ourselves and outside of our own story. Imagine if the parting of the sea story or the feeding of the 5,000 story were told from a single perspective and as if that person was the only one there! When we focus only on ourselves then we can miss out on the fuller story of God’s power and might.

In verses 8-9 the psalmist writes, “Praise our God, all peoples… God has preserved our lives and kept our feet from slipping.” This is a call to public and corporate thanksgiving in response to God’s work in the life of the community of faith. The psalmist then recognizes the difficult times in their past and recalls how God led them through. Our temptation can be to withdraw or isolate when we are going through a hard time. We can tend to focus only on ourselves. If, during their time in slavery in Egypt, the Israelites each adopted an “every man or woman for themselves” mentality, then where would’ve they been? They could not have marched out of Egypt one at a time. The collective, the group – it mattered. It still matters.

So the invitation today is to see the larger picture, to live in a space more outside of yourself than inside yourself. May we all realize the power we receive from others and the power we give to others.

Prayer: Lord God, open my eyes to the bigger picture around me. Open my heart to love all those around me. Shrink the selfishness in heart and make more room to love others more fully. Amen.


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Seeds and Soil

Reading: John 12:20-36

Verse 24: “Very truly I tell you, unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains only a single seed.”

In today’s passage Jesus speaks of life and death. There are layers to these words that Jesus shares. He is speaking personally as his own death looms just days away. In verse 24 we read, “Very truly I tell you, unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains only a single seed.” Christ, the single seed, must die so that the Holy Spirit can come, empowering more than one person to produce fruit for the kingdom of God. Through the Holy Spirit, Jesus will be present in spirit in the hearts of all who believe.

Jesus is talking to Andrew and Peter, to all the disciples, and to all the disciples who will one day read these words. Like Jesus we too must be willing to surrender self to God – to hate this earthly life. Once we surrender then we become that kernel of wheat that dies so that it can produce other seeds. These seeds that we plant in the hearts and lives of others are what the Holy Spirit can work with to build the kingdom of God.

There is another connection, another layer here too. In Luke 8, in the parable of the sower, Jesus spoke of the soil and of sowing seeds. The parable discussed 4 “soils,” from the hard path to the fertile soil. Part of the Lenten journey has been to look within, to reflect on the condition of our soil. Our soil must be good in order to help produce a crop 100 times what was sown for the kingdom. The parable also addresses how to sow. Abundantly is the answer. We are to share the light and love of Jesus Christ with all people – even the ones who appear hard-hearted. There is no limiting the power of the Holy Spirit!

To close, a John Wesley question: How is it with your soul?

Prayer: Lord God, day after day help me to surrender self to you. Help me to lay my pride, my judging, my self-doubt at the foot of the cross. Lead me from there to live a life that shines the light and love of Christ on others, planting and nourishing the seeds of faith in their soil. Amen.


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Mary or Judas?

Reading: John 12:1-11

Verse 3: “She poured it on Jesus’ feet and wiped his feet with her hair.”

As we begin Holy Week we encounter two very different characters. First we meet Mary. During a dinner to honor Jesus, she does just that. Mary takes some very expensive perfume and “she poured it on Jesus’ feet and wiped his feet with her hair.” What an extravagant gift of love from Mary to Jesus. What a beautiful scene. Then we meet Judas. He crashes this beautiful scene by objecting to what he calls a waste. He cannot see the beauty because he is blinded by his greed.

As followers of Jesus Christ we are called to be like Mary. We are to look for opportunities to serve one another. We are to be generous with both our resources and with ourselves. We might not be able to offer gifts worth a year’s wages, but we might. But we can bring a meal to a neighbor or maybe we can volunteer to do something at the church or at another local organization. We might not wash another’s feet with our hair, but we can offer an uplifting word in a time of need or we can bring unexpected joy to someone with a small, thoughtful gift or with a note that recognizes their worth.

The truth of the matter, though, is that we all have some Judas in us. I do. You do. We all do. We can easily fall into looking out for self. As our best Judas we can see the potential to do something beautiful for another yet choose not to do it because of what it might cost us. At our worst, we can become outright greedy with the blessings that God has given us, wanting just a bit more for ourselves.

In our passage Jesus defends Mary. She has done the right thing. She has cared for another in her presence. May we do the same.

Prayer: Lord God, when my inner Judas rises up, remind me of all the times that a Mary has ministered to me. And, Lord, may these reminders lead to grateful responses that lead me to pour out your love for the other. Use me this week, O God. Amen.