pastorjohnb

Thoughts and musings on faith and our mighty God!

Tag Archives: betrayal


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Fear, Shame, Guilt…

Readings: Matthew 26:69-75 and 27:3-10, 15-26

Matthew 27:24 – “So he took water and washed his hands in front of the crowd.”

Photo credit: Falaq Lazuardi

Today’s readings contain denial, betrayal, and giving in to social pressure. These actions are driven by fear, shame, guilt, regret, greed, power. These are actions and emotions that we too wrestle with as we try to walk faithfully with our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.

Peter had followed the mob who had arrested Jesus – at a distance. He feared being caught up in what was happening. In the high priest’s courtyard, Peter is accused three times of being with Jesus. Each time Peter’s denial of Jesus grows stronger as the fear rises. His fear turns to shame as the rooster crows. When was the last time that you denied Jesus, either in word or deed? What “crowed” to lead you to tears?

Judas agreed to betray Jesus for thirty pieces of silver. Seeing that Jesus is condemned to die, Judas feels “deep regret” for betraying “an innocent man.” The religious leaders refuse to change course. Guilt and regret lead Judas to take his own life. When have you felt deep regret because you betrayed Jesus? How did you resolve your inner turmoil?

Pilate has the power of life and death in his hands. He tries to free Jesus. His wife tells him to “leave that righteous man alone.” Tension builds and Pilate gives in to the mounting social pressure. To try to relieve his guilt and regret, he “took water and washed his hands in front of the crowd.” Pilate allows the power to slip through his fingers like the water slips through. We’ve all given in to the crowd, turning away from Jesus. What do you do to relieve your guilt and regret?

Prayer: Lord God, it is hard to admit, but at times we’ve played the roles of Peter, Judas, and Pilate. When we’ve failed you, we’ve felt what they feel. It is our human nature rising up to protect self, position, status… In our next moments of testing, Lord, raise up the voice of your Holy Spirit. May it be louder and stronger than our fear, shame, guilt… And when we fail, remind us of your unconditional love and endless grace. Amen.


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Real Stories

Reading: Mark 14

Mark 14:31 – “But Peter insisted, ‘If I must die alongside you, I won’t deny you.’ And they all said the same thing.”

Just before the Passover, Jesus is in Bethany. A woman anoints Jesus with some very expensive perfume, preparing his body for burial. Although the disciples think this is a waste, Jesus defends her and tells them that her actions will be remembered and told as part of the good news. Judas leaves and agrees to betray Jesus.

Gathering the 12, Jesus celebrates the Passover. Again his instructions about how and where come true. Jesus announces his betrayal and they all ask, “It’s not me, is it?” While eating the meal Jesus says of the bread, “Take, this is my body.” Taking the cup, he says, “This is my blood of the covenant, which is poured out for many.” After singing praises, they head out to the Mount of Olives.

There, Jesus tells them they will all fall away. Peter boldly declares his loyalty to Jesus. But Jesus says to Peter, before the roosters crowd twice you’ll deny me three times. Peter insists, “If I must die alongside you, I won’t deny you.” The other eleven say the same thing. Yet when asked to pray with and for Jesus, they all fall asleep. Jesus struggles with the coming suffering, yet remains committed to God’s plan and purposes.

Judas then comes with a mob and betrays Jesus with a kiss. Jesus is arrested and all the disciples run away. We too profess a faith willing to die for Jesus yet in those moments when discipleship has a cost, how often we too run away. A sham trial seals Jesus’ fate. It is Jesus’ words of truth that actually condemn him.

We close today with Peter living our Jesus’ words. Three times Peter denies being with Jesus. The rooster crows. Peter recalls Jesus’ words and breaks down in tears. We too are familiar with failing Jesus and with the feelings of remorse. They too are signs of our humanity. And they are a step on the path of mercy and grace. Thanks be to God for both.

Prayer: Lord God, how real today’s stories are. Sometimes we are the woman – a part of a story of faith. Sometimes we are Peter – sure of our rock solid faith yet so vulnerable to fear. And sometimes we’re Judas – betraying you with our words and actions. No matter what, though, you love us just the same. For your great and unconditional love, we say thank you. Amen.


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Tension Remains

Readings: 2nd Samuel 15, 2nd Samuel 16, 2nd Samuel 17, 2nd Samuel 18, 2nd Samuel 19

2nd Samuel 15:25 – “Carry God’s chest back into the city. If the LORD thinks well of me, then he will bring me back.”

Photo credit: Kim West

Our reading begins with Absalom subtly beginning a rebellion. He curries favor at the city gate. He builds alliances for four years. Then he gathers people in Hebron – some don’t know why – and he declares himself king. David and his household flee Jerusalem. On the way out, the priests offer sacrifices by the chest. David sends Zadok, the chest, and the rest of the priests  back into the city, saying, “Carry God’s chest back into the city. If the LORD thinks well of me, then he will bring me back.” He trusts the outcome of this rebellion to God.

Alliances, betrayals, and conceit abounds. Ziba lies for material gain. Shimei curses David. Spies give false advice, buying David and his troops needed time. They cross the Jordan safely and receive aid from Barzillai. Troops on both sides prepare for battle. David is convinced to stay behind. He gives a command to protect Absalom. David’s forces win the battle. Absalom gets caught in a tree while trying to escape. Joab begins and then oversees Absalom’s death.

News reaches David and he mourns deeply. Victory turns to sadness. The troops slink back into camp. Joab goes to David and calls him on this. David goes out to greet the troops. As David returns to Jerusalem, Israel argues about bringing him back as king. David reconnects with Judah and they take the lead in restoring David as king. This upsets the rest of Israel. Tension remains in the air. The sword is not far from David’s house.

Prayer: Lord God, so many do the wrong things in today’s passages. They chase the things of this world – power, possessions, status. Yet there are still those who do right. These are ones after your heart. Spirit, lead us to do right and to hold God’s will and ways above all else in our hearts and lives. Amen.


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Our Only Hope

Reading: John 14:1-6

Verse 1: “Do not let your hearts be troubled.”

Photo credit: Tyler Milligan

Since the triumphal entry during the palm parade Jesus has spoken to the disciples about his impending death, Judas’ betrayal, and Peter’s denial. Into this heaviness Jesus says, “Do not let your hearts be troubled.” While we may think this encouragement hard to live out, especially when our lives feel a great heaviness, Jesus goes on to tell us and the disciples why we/they shouldn’t be troubled of heart.

Death, betrayal, denial – they are not the end of the story. They don’t have to be the end of our story either. Oh yes, we can let them be the end, or at least feel like the end. Again Jesus says, “Do not let your hearts be troubled.” There is hope in death, reconciliation in betrayal, and redemption in denial. Jesus first invites us to trust in God and in him. There is a bigger plan at work in all of this heaviness. For and with Jesus, none of these things has the final say. That’s what he’s talking about in verses 2-4. He’s soon on his way to heaven. Once there he prepared a place for you and for me. And, when the time comes, Jesus himself will “take you to be with me.” Death ends in eternal life, in victory. But what of betrayal and denial and all of the other sufferings and trials and hardships that befall us?

Into all of this other heaviness, Jesus says, “I am the way and the truth and the life.” In the midst of it all, Jesus is the way through. Lean on him, trust in him, rely on him. He’ll walk with you through the darkest valley. In moments of temptation or when facing a difficult decision, turn to the truth. Listen to the Holy Spirit, mine the scriptures, pray. He’ll guide and protect, he’ll lead and strengthen. And when you’re hurt by betrayal or some other human shortcoming, look to the model of mercy and forgiveness. Channel what Jesus did on the cross for your sin into that relationship that needs healing and reconciliation. His love will heal all wounds.

Prayer: Lord God, you are our only hope in this life and for the life to come. Thank you for showing us the way and for being the truth. Thank you for all you do for us now in this world. Amen.


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Overcoming

Reading: 1st John 5: 4-6

Verse 4: “Everyone born of God overcomes the world”.

Today John shares some great encouragement for our walk of faith. In verse four he writes, “Everyone born of God overcomes the world”. At many points in our journeys of faith this is an important reminder. At times we will feel hard pressed or worn down. At times we will feel stressed or we will feel inadequate. At times we will face illness or even death. At times we will feel all alone. At times we will feel pressured to do this or to be more like that. This world has much to throw at us that will tempt us to turn from our faith to the “pleasures” or “stress relievers” of this world.

John also shares why we can overcome: faith in the one who overcame all of this and more. Jesus took on flesh and faced betrayal, abuse, rejection, fear, hunger… and even death. Jesus experienced all that we will ever experience and overcame it all. In each case Jesus turned to God, obeying the commands to trust in God and to let the Spirit guide. With this obedience and a healthy dose of love, Jesus overcame all things – even death on a cross. Setting the example for us, we see that we too can overcome all that life tosses our way. Through faith in Jesus Christ we too can experience victory over this world and one day will rejoice in victory over death. Thanks be to God!

Prayer: Loving God, thank you for the example set by Jesus. Though I may struggle and even fail sometimes, my rock tells me it is possible. Keep me walking faithfully, day by day. Amen.


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For This Reason

Reading: John 12: 27-33

Verse 27: “Now my heart is troubled… It was for this very reason I came to this hour”.

In our passage for today we see a mingling of the human and the divine. The human part of Jesus says, “Now my heart is troubled”. He knows what lies ahead. Jesus is well aware of the events that will unfold. The betrayal. The beating. The nails. The agony. The pain and then the last breath. My heart would be greatly troubled too. This side of Jesus ponders asking God to “save me from this hour”.

Jesus is not only human. There is a connection to the divine too. He is God incarnate, God in the flesh. The divine within triumphs as he says, “It was for this very reason I came to this hour”. Yes, Jesus came to show us what it looks like to obediently live out God’s love in the world. Even more, though, he came to defeat the powers of sin and death – humanity’s two great enemies. In defeating the two main weapons of Satan, Jesus glorifies God. God has the final word. This small victory is a taste of the final victory that will come when Jesus returns at the end of this age. In this moment, God speaks from heaven, affirming Jesus’desire to glorify God through the cross.

Our passage closes with Jesus pointing towards the other side of the cross. In verse 32 he says, “But I, when I am lifted up from the earth, will draw all men [and women] to myself”. When he is resurrected the chains of sin and death will be forever broken. Freeing humanity from that which binds us to the earth, Jesus draws us to himself, to the eternal. There is more, though. Jesus does not wait for us to die to draw us to himself. As we live out our earthly lives the Spirit draws us into Jesus’ love, peace, grace, strength, beauty, joy, hope, forgiveness… as we live as a child of God. In Spirit, Jesus walks this life with us through the highs and lows and every place in between.

One day we will be lifted up and will experience the full glory of God in eternity. Day by day we experience Jesus’ presence in all of life. As we do so, may we seek to help draw others to Christ, bringing God the glory in all we do and say and think. This is the reason that we exist too. May we draw others to Jesus, sharing his love with all we meet.

Prayer: Lord God, your son gave all for me. In your great love for us you gave him up to the powers of this world. Thank you. Guide me, O God, to give all for you. Use me as you will. Pour me out for others. Amen.


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The Call of Jesus

Judas betrays Jesus first in his heart, then later in action.  Was he forcing Jesus’ hand to prod Jesus into becoming the powerful, earthly king that Judas longed for him to be?  Maybe this was Judas’ goal and he cared little for 30 pieces of silver.  Or was Judas filled with greed and saw this as an opportunity to make a little money?  Maybe part of Judas thought Jesus would get out of this jam too. Either way, Judas was guided by Satan, the great deceiver.

But how could one so close to Jesus come to betray Him?  How could one of the twelve think that Jesus had come to sit on an earthly throne?  How could… But each of the twelve does deny or betray Jesus in the end.  Even Peter, the Rock, flat out denies Jesus three times in the courtyard.  All of the disciples scatter and go into hiding after the crucifixion.  Most don’t even go to the hill of Calvary to see Jesus draw the last breath and to die for the sin of the world.

Maybe this was just the lot cast to Judas, cast by powers far beyond him.  We know that Judas doe snot live long afterwards.  Was it guilt or remorse that drove him to take his own life?  Or was it him wanting to be reunited with the risen Lord?

When I think of my life, I realize how often I deny or betray Jesus.  I do every time I say that I want to be the one in control.  I do ever time I won’t fully hand over the reigns to Jesus.  I do every time I turn away from one I could help.  I do every time I choose not to see Jesus in the eyes of those in need.  Yes, sadly the list could go on. What does your list of denials and betrayals look like?

But thanks be to God!!  His mercy and love and forgiveness never fail.  God is right there to pick us back up, to dust us off, to give us a little hug and pat on the back, and to send us right back out there to be His light and love in our world.  May our eyes and ears and hearts be better attuned to hearing and answering the call.  Thanks be to God!!