pastorjohnb

Thoughts and musings on faith and our mighty God!

Tag Archives: grief


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Faithful Love

Reading: Psalm 31:9-16

Psalm 31:10 – “My life is consumed with sadness… Strength fails me because of my suffering.”

Our journey to Palm Sunday begins with David and Psalm 31. These words form a prayer song that seeks refuge in God. I can imagine Jesus praying these words as he lived out his final days here on earth. Verses 1-8 express a hope and a trust in God during a time of testing and trial caused by David’s “enemy.” Turning to verse 9, we see the outcome of this time of difficulty. David has cried so many tears, his vision fails. His body and spirit are right there too. As we recall long seasons of grief and testing, we can relate to how David feels.

David expresses this in verse 10, saying, “My life is consumed with sadness… Strength fails me because of my suffering.” Grief and suffering can be consuming. Like in Ezekiel’s valley, David feels like “dry bones.” The situation is so bad, even his friends avoid him. They “run away” when they see him in the streets. We don’t know why but we can speculate based upon our own experiences. In times of deep grief, people are avoided. Maybe we have felt that and likely we’ve avoided others. Sometimes we’ve been wearied. Sometimes the words to say seem elusive. This makes us or the other feel like David felt: “forgotten… dead… completely out of mind.”

There is a shift that occurs in verse 14. In the middle of this difficult reality, when enemies attack and friends scatter, David turns to the one who is present even then. He declares his trust in God. David gives his future into God’s hands. He asks that God would “Shine your face upon your servant.” In God’s presence David offers a request: “Save me by your faithful love.” It is a love that never fails. Our ever-present God is always with us. In times of trial and suffering, may we turn to the Lord our God, the one whose face always shines, whose love always surrounds us.

Prayer: Lord God, when we feel surrounded by grief and trial, abandoned by friends, remind us of your loving presence. When we are wearied by our sadness or by the suffering of another, give us strength to engage and courage to trust. Turn our hearts and minds to you, surround us with your faithful love, shine your face upon us. Amen.


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Resurrection – Here and Now

Reading: John 11:17-45

John 11:25 – “I am the resurrection and the life. Whoever believes in me will live, even though they die.”

We return to John 11 today. Jesus arrives near Bethany and Lazarus has been dead for four days. Jesus encounters Martha and then Mary outside of town. Both women say the same words to Jesus: “Lord, if you had been here, my brother wouldn’t have died.” Both see Jesus as a healer, as one who could’ve cured their brother’s illness. Later, others in the crowd echo this belief. In this sense, we are like them: we believe that Jesus has the power to change lives.

Martha adds to this statement. She adds, “Even now, I know that whatever you ask God, God will give you.” This statement of faith goes beyond healing lepers and blind men. Martha leans into the possibility of what Jesus could do. As times our faith takes us here too. We don’t see a way, but we trust that Jesus does. We lean into the impossible at times, trusting in a power beyond our imagination and sometimes even beyond our hope.

Mary comes to Jesus, deep in her grief. So deep is her grief, it draws Jesus in. He weeps for her, for Lazarus, for all who mourn. Jesus becomes present in the suffering. We too experience this. The Spirit is there with us in times of need – not healing, not guiding, just being present. Even when we ourselves cannot go beyond the “if only, God…,” God is present to us.

The scene then shifts to the tomb. In response to Martha’s faith and to Mary’s grief, Jesus calls Lazarus back from death. Jesus is the resurrection and life here and now, not just on the last day. This too is the Jesus we know. Again and again we experience resurrection and redemption. Thanks be to God.

Prayer: Lord God, how we fit into this story and into your story! When we are like Martha, guide us to take that next step of deeper faith. When we are like Mary, be present to us. And when we are spiritually like Lazarus was physically, faith as dead as dead can be, being us new life. This we pray in Jesus’ name. Amen.


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Leaving Trails

Reading: Psalm 23:4-6

Psalm 23:6a – “Yes, goodness and faithful love will pursue me all the days of my life.”

Photo credit: Christopher Beloch

Returning to Psalm 23 today, we delve into verses 4-6. In verse 4 we are reminded that the good shepherd of verses 1-3 is also with us in the “darkest valleys” of life. The darkest valleys are many: addiction, depression, death, grief, divorce, forced relocation, loss of employment, friendship, and security, illness, disease, homelessness, poverty, injustice, oppression. These dark valleys are situations and circumstances that we would rather avoid than go through. We’ll try and go around them. We’ll try and pretend that they are not really there. Faced with the reality of the dark valley, we’ll try everything in our power to get through or to climb out. And then, when there’s nothing else to try, we’ll turn to God. Surrendering our fear, loneliness, anxiety… to God, we feel a power and presence that walks with us. We’re not airlifted out of the valley, but God is with us, giving us hope, comfort, peace, strength… in the darkest valleys.

As we experience God’s presence again and again, we trust more and more into our relationship with God. Even when “enemies” – those listed above and more -are right in front of us, we feel safe and blessed by God’s presence. We are not alone. We can declare as David declares, “Yes, goodness and faithful love will pursue me all the days of my life.” Aware of God in deeper and more trusting ways, we come to see that God doesn’t just show up when we really need God. No, God pursues us. All of the time. God fills us with goodness and faithful love – so much so that these blessings overflow out of us, leaving trails of goodness and love behind us as we live as light and love in the world. In this way, God’s goodness and faithful love fill other’s cups too, bringing God’s power and presence into their lives. May it be so.

Prayer: Lord God, thank you for your goodness, love, and mercy that draws us to your heart, to your family, and to our place in your house. Draw us into your power and presence again and again, empowering us to truly walk with you all of our days. Walking closely, Lord, use us to be goodness and love in the world, inviting others into your power and presence. Amen.


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Shine the Light

Reading: Isaiah 9:1-4

Isaiah 9:2 – “The people walking in darkness have seen a great light.”

Once again we return to a text that we read earlier in the week – just two days ago. The passage begins with encouragement: “Those who were in distress won’t be exhausted.” God will be present. The community will be present to one another. Strength and hope will begin with God and will ripple down through the community, touching even those outside of the family of God. As human beings and as people called to follow Jesus Christ, we are called to care for and serve and love all of God’s creation.

The prophet writes these words in verse 2: “The people walking in darkness have seen a great light.” Today the light is the light of Christ that burns within each of us. The light shines into darkness of all kinds. It shines into the darkness of violence and oppression. It shines into the darkness of injustice and marginalization. It shines into the darkness of prejudice and targeting. It shines into the darkness of grief and death. The light of Christ brings hope and comfort, guidance and direction, peace and presence, healing and new life.

The light of Christ also shines forward. In the midst of darkness, the light declares victory – in both the near and one-day future. The light shines beyond the present difficulties. It reveals the way to a better future. It points towards a place of glory and joy. May the light of Christ shine brightly in each of us. May it sustain and encourage us and those who see the light shining for all people.

Prayer: Lord God, our world needs the light of Christ to shine brightly. So stoke up the holy fire within each of your children. Together may we blaze forth into our broken and hurting world, bringing healing and wholeness, unity and justice, love and peace. Amen.


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God Will…

Reading: Isaiah 49:1-4

Isaiah 49:4b – “Nevertheless, the Lord will grant me justice; my reward is with God.”

Photo credit: Aaron Burden

The second of four Servant Songs found in Isaiah is our focus today and tomorrow. In this week’s reading, the servant speaks in the first person. These words could be Isaiah himself speaking or they could be the words of the servant Israel – an ideal Israel. Or is the prophet speaking as you or me?

The chosenness found in Isaiah 42 continues in chapter 49. The servant was called before birth, formed by God in the womb for this very purpose. As God’s hand continued to shape and form the servant, he or she or we became “a sharp sword… a sharpened arrow.” God’s word continues to cut through our sin and complacency and apathy, calling us to be people bent on righteousness and justice. God identifies the servant as one “in whom I show my glory.” God’s light and love, shining in and through us, reveal God’s presence and glory to the world. It is a high calling.

And it is not always easy to speak truth and to bring God glory. At times we feel like the servant feels: “wearied… in vain… used up… strength… for nothing.” We have given our all, but the fight feels too uphill. We have walked the long road of faith, but there seems to be no end in sight. The injustice, the oppression, the grief, the evils of this world – they appear to be winning. In these low moments, in the depth of the dark valley, we need to remember and cling to the words found at the end of verse 4: “Nevertheless, the Lord will grant me justice; my reward is with God.” God is on our side. God has a plan. God is a God of justice and righteousness. God will triumph over all evil. And if not in our lifetime, then heaven is surely our reward. Thanks be to God!

Prayer: Lord God, there are many days when we walk in your light and love. We feel your presence, strength, and guidance. Our words, thoughts, and actions are pleasing in your sight. May these days be our reminders. Lord, in those seasons when we are worn down and feel defeated, remind us of your presence. Lift us up by the memories of our long and steady walk with you. Renew our strength and focus so that your light might shine into the darkness, whether in our hearts or in our world. Amen.


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Steadfast Presence

Reading: Jeremiah 31:7-9

Jeremiah 31:9 – “With tears of joy they will come… I will lead them by quiet streams and on smooth paths so they don’t stumble.”

Photo credit: Lili Popper

Jeremiah proclaims a glorious future for the people of God in chapter 31. We pick up today in verse 7, where the prophet calls on the “remaining few” to sing with joy because God will save them. Speaking to those scattered during the time of exile, God declares that they will be brought back “from the ends of the earth.” For a nation living in exile, grieving all that has been lost, sorrowful over their present but seemingly unchangeable reality, the promise of God acting to redeem and restore them offered great hope.

Life will make us feel like the exiles felt. At times we will grieve – over the loss of a loved one or a career, over the ending of a relationship, over the changes caused by aging… We feel scattered and often all alone during these seasons. It is good to be reminded that God’s plan is to save us, to restore us, to redeem us, to bring healing and wholeness back to our lives.

Turning to verses 8b and 9, we see that God will bring back all of the people of God, including the blind, the disabled, the pregnant… By naming those on the margins and those who are most vulnerable, by including them specifically, God is emphasizing that “all” means ALL. This is good news for the “least of these” and it is for us when we feel this way too. Tears of joy and prayers of thanksgiving will both flow freely. God “will lead them by quiet streams and on smooth paths so they don’t stumble.” God will guide the way, making the return peaceful and safe, two essentials when healing from grief and loss. God will comfort Israel as a parent comforts a child. In our seasons of need, God will bring us peace and safety, comfort and healing too. Thanks be to God!

Prayer: Lord God, we rejoice in your steadfast presence in the past, with us now, and in the future. Your love never fails. Your mercy and compassion always meet us in our times of need. Your grace brings us peace. Your strength lifts us up and guides our journey. Thank you for being with us always, especially in our times of grief and sorrow. Amen.


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Weeping

Reading: Matthew 2:13-23

Matthew 2:13 – “Get up. Take the child and his mother and escape.”

Today we read the story of a family leaving home and country to find safety. Violence was bearing down on their community. A powerful and violent ruler sought to maintain their grip on power and control. The story from Matthew 2 played out over 2,000 years ago. Sadly, the same kind of story had been played out for thousands of years before then. Even sadder, stories like today’s play out in our world on a regular basis even now.

The wise men (or magi) had alerted King Herod to the “newborn king of the Jews.” Bearing that title himself, Herod was greatly troubled by this news. In today’s reading the angel tells Joseph, “Get up. Take the child and his mother and escape.” Joseph and family flee Israel, escaping to Egypt. Although Jesus is saved, all the children two and younger in and around Bethlehem are killed. All. Weeping and grieving are heard throughout the region.

Similar weeping is heard today in Gaza and Ukraine. In many other parts of the world affected by violent rulers, the cries ring out. In our cities and on our reservations, grief over children lost comes too frequently. Gangs and suicides disproportionately affect places with high poverty levels. We read about what happened 2,000 years ago and we weep for those families. We’re reminded today of what is happening now. Will we do more than weep, O people of God?

Prayer: Lord God, the Herods of the world are still very much alive and in power. Violence and force continue to be the means many rulers use to maintain their grip on power and control. The most vulnerable suffer the most. Raise up in us a holy fire, a fire that drives us to stand with and to speak for the least of these. Empower us to stand and speaks against violence and other evils. Guide us to be people of peace and grace, of love and community. Amen.


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Finding Hope and Strength

Reading: Psalm 137

Psalm 137:5 – “Jerusalem! If I forget you, let my strong hand wither!”

Photo credit: Wylly Suhendra

Psalm 137 wrestles with holding onto faith during a time of deep grief. This is a struggle we’ve all faced or will face at some point in life. The emotions of the Psalm are real and honest, especially in verses 7-9. If grief we feel these emotions too, but usually choose not to give them voice. The psalmist and fellow Israelites find themselves in Babylonian exile, grieving alongside a river. They have put away their musical instruments, thinking, who could sing at a time like this? In grief we too can set aside certain practices or activities that we used to do with the departed loved one. It feels too painful for these things in the midst of grief. The departed loved one for Israel is God, personified in Jerusalem. While God is still present, it doesn’t feel like it for Israel. When their “tormentors” mockingly call for a song, the Israelites wonder, “How could we sing a joyful song at a time like this?!”

Yet there is something in the psalmist that knows they must maintain a connection with God. In verse 5 we read, “Jerusalem! If I forget you, let my strong hand wither!” Verse 6 offers a similar pledge. For the psalmist, hard as it might be, music is a way to remember and to honor and to be connected to God. Music brings the Israelites into the presence of God and it brings them into community. In times of grief, we often just want to be alone. It feels like that would just be easier. Frankly, it is. But healing comes most often in community, in being with others, in being reminded of God’s presence with us. Here one finds the beginnings of those seeds of hope and the strength to ponder next steps. In their grief, with the gifts of hope and strength, the Israelites began to step forward in faith. May it be so for you and for me in our times of grief.

Prayer: Lord God, sometimes life is hard and it rains down grief, feelings of disorientation, moments of withdrawal. When this happens to those we know, send us into their lives, being your light and love, your hope and strength. And when we find ourselves in this hard place, guide us into community – with you and with our brothers and sisters in Christ. Amen.


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Our Faithful God

Reading: Lamentations 1:1-6

Lamentations 1:5b – “Certainly the Lord caused her grief because of her many wrongs.”

Lamentations is a vivid and emotional account of the destruction of Jerusalem and her temple at the hands of the Babylonians. Jeremiah is likely the primary author. The prophet worked long and hard trying to call the leaders and the people back into right relationship with God. But they chose to ignore his words of warning, instead choosing to trust in idols and foreign nations. Lamentations primarily deals with the consequences of these sinful choices but also offers hope in God’s love and faithfulness.

Lamentations personifies Jerusalem as a woman, present in the great destruction, sitting in the ruins. In the first verse we read, “She sits alone, the city that was once full of people.” When I first read this line, my brain read “promise” instead of “people.” Then I thought, yes, once Judah relied on and trusted in God’s promises. Their choice to trust in their own power and efforts has led them to become “slaves” sent away into exile. Maybe my brain read it this way because sadly at times this is our choice too. We choose self over God and/or neighbor, becoming a “slave” to our sin, exiling ourselves from God’s presence.

The author believes that Judah’s tears and mourning and grief are the direct result of her sinful behaviors. In verse 5 we read, “Certainly the Lord caused her grief because of her many wrongs.” While we do not subscribe to the ancient Jew’s understanding of faith as “do good, be blessed… do evil, be cursed,” we do experience tears, mourning, and grief at times as the practical outcomes of our sinful and selfish choices. While we do exile ourselves at times, God always remains present. Our faithful God listens to our painful laments while allowing us to be refined and to grow in faith because of our hard lessons. In this we find hope – as the author of Lamentations does as we turn to chapter 3 tomorrow.

Prayer: Lord God, while we are far from perfect, your perfect love never wavers, never fails. While we wander and separate ourselves from you, your steadfast presence is always right there, ready to redirect, to teach, to forgive, to welcome us back into right relationship. Thank you God!! Amen.


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Lean In, Trust

Reading: Psalm 79:1-5

Psalm 79:5 – “How long will you rage, Lord? Forever? How long will your anger burn like fire?”

Today the psalmist asks a question we all ask: How long? In almost every difficult situation that we face and endure, we come to this question. Whether referring to the waves of grief that don’t relent or to the job search that won’t resolve itself or to the bullying that your child faces day after day or to the violence and destruction that the psalmist faces, in times of trial or pain or suffering or grief, we ask God: How long?

While we do not ever receive a specific time and date from God that tells us when relief or resolution will occur, we can have a hand in how we walk in and through these dark valleys. We can choose to shout “How long?” with a clenched fist raised against God. Or we can choose to whisper “How long?” with hands open to receive from God. The psalmist models the second option. For us, we must begin where the psalmist began, naming the situation. In this case, the writer names what it looks and feels like in the aftermath of the Babylonians destroying Jerusalem and the temple. The physical scene is horrific. To look at it and to name it begins to move one past the “Is this real?” stage. While painful, acceptance is an important step in our healing process.

The psalmist is also open and vulnerable with his emotions. From his perspective, all has been done to God’s city, to God’s temple, to God’s people. This goes against previous religious understandings and creates disorientation, forcing a new understanding of God and the world. Adding to the trauma is the ridicule coming from pagan neighbors. At times of grief or suffering or pain perhaps you or someone you know has heard, “If you just did (or didn’t)…” These words sting – as if you would have chosen this terrible outcome.

Laying it all on the table before the Lord and others we love and trust is an act of surrender, a practice in humility. Even as the psalmist asks “How long?” there is a leaning into God’s presence, a trust in God to act and move even in this place of death, loss, suffering… In our times of deep need, may we too be open and vulnerable and honest with God and with those close to us. May our hands be open to receive.

Prayer: Lord God, these initial steps can be so hard. We’d rather close our eyes and withdraw. When this is our first step, Lord, help us to feel your hand reaching out, to sense your Spirit surrounding us. Walk with us in love and grace. Amen.