pastorjohnb

Thoughts and musings on faith and our mighty God!

Tag Archives: despair


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Tears of Grief

Reading: Jeremiah 8:18-9:2

Jeremiah 8:21 – “Because my people are crushed, I am crushed; darkness and despair overwhelm me.”

Photo credit: Rainier Ridao

In today’s passage from Jeremiah it is difficult to determine if God is speaking or if it is Jeremiah speaking. Our verses today seem to be a mix of the two, with both God and prophet expressing their grief over Judah’s fate. For many years, God’s people have been unfaithful to their God. Their choice to abandon God has led to God’s choice to abandon them to their sin. At times we too can choose to separate ourselves from God. We too grieve God’s heart this deeply.

God seems to be the speaker in verses 19-21. The people are asking a question and implying another that are common in times of loss and pain and grief. Directly they are asking where the Lord is: “Isn’t the Lord in Zion?” This is a question often asked in grief. The second question is implied: Why, why is this happening to us? This is a question that we can ask when lost in our sin as well. When our sin that consumed us leads to a place of pain and suffering, we can forget that our choices brought us to this place. In the disorientation of grief, we do ask “Why?”

For God’s people , the answer is given: idol worship has led to this place. As the prophet that worked to turn Judah back to God, Jeremiah grieves too. In verse 21 we read, “Because my people are crushed, I am crushed; darkness and despair overwhelm me.” The tentacles of grief surround the prophet. He laments alongside the people who are far from God. This is a place we will also find ourselves. Walking alongside others in grief, feeling and taking on some of their pain and sorrow. Our tears join their tears as we offer love and comfort in the midst of their hurt and despair. Doing so, we bring God’s presence into the darkness and despair.

Prayer: Lord God, times of grief and suffering are sure to come – to ourselves, to those we love, to our neighbors. In these times, may we sense your presence and may we lean into your love and strength, whether for ourselves or as we walk with others. Be with us in our tears, O God. Amen.


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Breathing New Life

Reading: Ezekiel 37:1-11

Ezekiel 37:6 – “When I put breath in you, and you come to life, you will know that I am the Lord.”

Ezekiel witnessed Nebuchadnezzar’s siege and defeat of Jerusalem. He saw the leaders and then many others, himself included, taken away into Babylonian exile. Judah, like Israel to the north, was devastated. The temple was destroyed. Their relationship with God has been broken by their sin. Living in exile, hope was growing very thin and despair grew daily.

In chapters 33-36 Ezekiel begins to speak of redemption and restoration. He writes of changing their ways and of receiving a “new heart.” He leans into the image of God as the good shepherd who promises to rescue and protect the sheep. Speaking to the mountains of Israel, God through Ezekiel promises that the cities will be rebuilt and inhabited. Even with all of these hopeful words spoken, for those living in exile, the despair felt too great. Was all this even possible? Could God do it? Our passage today is God’s response to these questions.

In chapter 37 Ezekiel is taken in spirit to a valley full of very many dry bones. God asks the prophet if he thinks the bones can live. (Talk about impossible, right?) Ezekiel responds, “Lord God, only you know.” God says they can. After coming together, God adds sinew, flesh, and then skin. Then God says to the bodies, “When I put breath in you, and you come to life, you will know that I am the Lord.” Through Ezekiel’s words, new life enters the bones, “an extraordinarily large company.” They stand in the valley, as if waiting. God then tells Ezekiel (and therefore Israel), “Human One, these bones are the entire house of Israel.” God will restore and redeem not just some of God’s people. God will restore and redeem all of God’s people.

In our dry seasons of faith, in our times of sin and separation from God, in our experiences in the wilderness and in exile, God longs to redeem and restore us, to breath new life into our faith. O God, may it be so.

Prayer: Lord God, you will stop at nothing, you will do anything, you will try everything in order to bring us back into right relationship with you. This is true no matter how far we’ve run, no matter how deep we’ve fallen, no matter how long we’ve wandered. Thank you for your unconditional love and your unfailing grace. Amen.


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A Fire in the Heart

Reading: Jeremiah 17-20

Jeremiah 17:10 – “I, the LORD, probe the heart and discern hidden motives, to give everyone what they deserve, the consequences of their deeds.”

Chapter 17 begins with a condemnation of the sinful. Judah’s sin is “engraved” on their hearts. God will give their land, wealth, and “all that you treasure” to their enemies. They are cursed because they have trusted in human strength. Contrasted to these are the people who trust in and rely on God. They will be like trees planted by the water – ever fruitful. Verse 10 cuts to the heart of the outcome of Judah’s and our choices: “I, the LORD, probe the heart and discern hidden motives, to give everyone what they deserve, the consequences of their deeds.”

In today’s readings we find a few laments from Jeremiah. Often he expresses trust in God and asks for his tormentors to be punished. In chapter 20 his despair is deeper. He regrets being called by God. He ponders quitting. Yet there is “an intense fire in my heart, trapped in my bones.” He knows well his love of God. Yet he is also weary of the abuse, ridicule… He closes this lament cursing the day he was born. It has led to much “suffering and misery.”

We also have two great visuals in today’s readings: the potter and the clay and the clay jar. At the potter’s house, Jeremiah watches the piece become flawed. The potter smashed it down and starts over. God proclaims the power to “dig up, pull down, and destroy”sinful nations. God also claims the power to “build and plant” new nations. It is the people’s choice which they will be. God responds for them rhetorically, saying, “What’s the use?” They have hardened, willful, evil hearts.

God then uses the clay jar as reinforcement. Jeremiah again speaks of their sins and the coming disaster. The siege will be horrific. In desperation they will eat one another’s flesh. He smashes the jar, saying this is what God will do to Judah. He then repeats these words in the temple. The high priest beats and then imprisons Jeremiah. The life of a prophet is not easy.

Prayer: Lord God, we too are called to speak your word and to offer hard truths at times. It is not easy. We can expect to face trials as Jeremiah did. May you become a fire in our hearts, a passion trapped in our bones. Lead us to stand for you and to be a part of your building the kingdom here on earth. Amen.


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Lament… and Hope!

Reading: Jeremiah 8:18-12:17

Jeremiah 10:21 – “The shepherd kings have lost their senses and don’t seek answers from the LORD. That is why they have failed and their flock is scattered.”

Our reading opens with Jeremiah’s lament: “no healing, only grief… darkness and despair overwhelm me.” He must’ve felt this often. He called out over and over but was ignored, ridiculed, and worse. Jeremiah then wonders where God’s healing is. If only there were enough tears, he would weep day and night for the people of God.

God then joins the lament. They don’t know God. They scheme, lie, and cheat. God weeps for the earth. It will be affected by the coming war. Jerusalem will become ruins, Judah a wasteland, all because they haven’t obeyed God’s Instructions. They have “followed their own willful heart.” God summons professional mourners. Maybe then Judah will understand the coming death and destruction. Maybe then they’ll quit boasting about themselves. Maybe then they’ll turn and boast once again about God and God’s kindness, justice, and righteousness. Maybe then their hearts will be circumcised.

Chapter 10 contrasts idols with God. One is “no different than a scarecrow in a cucumber patch.” The other is the living God, the creator of the earth. This one tells the people to “pack your bags” – exile is coming. Why? On the macro level, “The shepherd kings have lost their senses and don’t seek answers from the LORD. That is why they have failed and their flock is scattered.” Leadership has failed. God then laments that this generation is just like their ancestors. God worked and worked. The people ignored God, turning to idols, breaking the covenant. It is so bad, God instructs Jeremiah to not pray for them.

In chapters 11 and 12 there are schemes against Jeremiah. God will deal with that. God then again laments the reality with Judah. The leaders have “destroyed my vineyard.” Yet we see God’s great grace in verses 12-16. If the non-Israelites will turn to God, then God will build them up “in the midst of my people.” The circle might just open up a little wider. Thanks be to God.

Prayer: Lord God, there is much sadness in today’s readings. It is centered on the state of your children. They are deep in their sin. Consequences are coming. The sadness must yet be present today. We can surely follow our own willful hearts. Lord have mercy. Please continue to be a God of kindness, justice, and righteousness. We so need you. Build us up to be your people, O God. Amen.


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Gifts of God’s Hands

Reading: Ecclesiastes 1:1-2:26

‭Ecclesiastes 2:11 – “When I surveyed all that my hands had done… I realized that it was pointless — a chasing after wind.”

As we begin Ecclesiastes we come to see a different picture of the world. This book presents the world as it is – unvarnished – and it gives us permission to name how frail and fragile life really is. Ecclesiastes asks the hard questions and challenges us to go deeper in our understanding of faith, life, and God.

Ecclesiastes 1 begins by declaring that everything is “perfectly pointless.” This sets the tone for most of today’s reading. One generation comes, another goes. Words are tiring, the eye is never satisfied, the ear isn’t ever filled up. What happens will happen. There is nothing new under the sun. Same old, same old.

The Teacher shared how he investigated and explored the world, gaining great wisdom and knowledge. Madness and folly came along too. This all felt like chasing the wind too. So he turned to wine, to great projects, to gathering servants, vineyards, herds, gold and silver. He refused himself no pleasure. And after all of this he states, “When I surveyed all that my hands had done… I realized that it was pointless — a chasing after wind.”

Then the Teacher recognizes that wisdom is more beneficial than folly. So if one has a choice… But he also realizes that the same fate happens to both. This leads to despair. All that he has accomplished and gathered will go to an heir. Will he be wise or foolish?

Our text today closes with hope. The Teacher acknowledges, “There’s nothing better for human beings than to eat, drink, and experience pleasure in their hard work.” Focus on the moment, enjoy the small things. These are gifts from the hand of God. May it be so for you and for me.

Prayer: Lord God, yes, life can be hard and frustrating and challenging. Yes, it can feel pointless. Sometimes the treadmill never stops. Yet you remain. In you we can find satisfaction and even pleasure. In you, all we need is provided. Walk with us today, O God. Amen.


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Who Do You Know?

Reading: John 1:1-14

Verse 12: “Yet to all who did receive him, to those who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God.”

Photo credit: Nathan Lemon

Today’s reading is one of my favorites in the Bible. It is poetic and flowing and beautiful. It speaks of Jesus’ forever nature, of his light, and of his invitation into the kingdom of God. I find and feel great hope in these words and in the way that they open the circle of God’s love to all people.

Hope and light and love and welcome are often in short supply in our world. The power systems that drive materialism and greed and many other -isms are systems built on fear and darkness and hate and exclusion. They are designed to hold onto power while keeping others powerless. To varying degrees we are all affected by these systems. And those on the fringes are disproportionately affected.

While Jesus came to be hope and light and love and welcome, he also came to build the church. In verse 12 we read, “Yet to all who did receive him, to those who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God.” As children of God, as brothers and sisters in Christ, we bear his hope and light and love and welcome to the world. We are called to bring hope to the despairing, to shine light on the darkness, to love those deemed unlovable and unworthy, to welcome the powerless, the lonely, the marginalized, the outcasts… These are the responsibilities of being a child of God, of living as a brother or sister of Christ Jesus.

Now, let’s take a moment to get personal. Who do you know that is currently despairing? Who do you know that is struggling with some darkness? Who do you know that thinks they are unworthy of love? Who do you know that is powerless or is isolated by the systems of this world? And most importantly, how will you be hope or light or love or welcome to that specific person?

Prayer: Lord God, open our eyes and hearts to the needs of those we know. Once we see the needs, Lord, move us to action, to loving as Jesus loved, to serving as he served, to sacrificing as he sacrificed. Use us today to build your kingdom here and now. Amen.


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This Same God

Reading: Isaiah 51:1-6

Verse 6: “My salvation will last forever, my righteousness will never fail.”

Isaiah 51 reminds reminds me of the “then and now” of our faith. Written to those “who pursue righteousness and who seek the Lord,” it calls them and us to remember the long arc of the relationship between God and God’s people. Looking into today and beyond into eternity, we are also reminded of God’s standing promise: “My salvation will last forever, my righteousness will never fail.”

Isaiah writes these words to the Israelites living with him in exile. Their time in exile has grown long. They are living as strangers in a place far away from all they’ve ever known. It has been a wearying and difficult stay. So Isaiah calls them to remember where they came from and whose they are. He calls them to remember Abraham and Sarah, the ones who received the covenant and who were blessed as God fulfilled the promise. When we find ourselves in a trial or in a season of suffering, it is good to remember the great stories of faith and to be reminded of “the rock” that we too stand upon.

The prophet also speaks of hope and restoration. Isaiah tells the exiles that God looks “with compassion on all her ruins” – both those back home and those that are their lives now. He prophesies that God will transform these dry and barren places and lives into a garden paradise, into a place where there will be “thanksgiving and the sound of singing.” Isaiah tells them that justice and salvation are on the way! This was all probably hard to hear in the darkness and despair of exile. But, wait. Remember, God took one and “blessed him and made him many.” This same God promises to restore Israel. This same God can and will bring us through our trials and sufferings. Thanks be to God.

Prayer: Lord, it is good to remember and to know once again that your promises of salvation and compassion are for all people who call on you and who seek your righteousness. The promises are for us. Thank you, Lord. Amen.


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Leaning into God

Reading: Job 23: 1-9 and 16-17

Verse 7: “There an upright man could present his case before God.”

Photo credit: Jeremy Thomas

At the end of the week we return to Job. He has experienced great loss and hardship. His friends have accused him of sinning and have condemned him for not repenting. They have told him that he deserves the punishment that has come. While his friends and the world around him see Job’s situation one way, Job sees it differently. Job knows that he is innocent, that he has not sinned or done anything wrong, that he does not deserve what has befallen him. But this is his reality. It does not make sense in his mind. Why would God curse an innocent man and his family? Job knows that all would be made right if he could have an audience with God. In verse seven he says, “There an upright man could present his case before God.” Job may not understand why all this has happened to him and he may be puzzled by God’s felt absence, but his heart still believes that God is in control and that his Redeemer will redeem him.

In the depth of the valley, when we are in the throws of despair, it can be hard to hold onto God and onto our faith. As the time drags on and we’ve searched for God as Job did – in the north and south, to the east and west – we too can feel the darkness closing in around us. We know that God is always there. Our long walk of faith has proven God’s presence. In verse twelve Job says, “I have not departed from the commands of God’s lips; I have treasured the words of God’s mouth more than my daily bread.” More than anything, Job is reminding himself of his faith and of his long walk with God. Job is making the choice to remember who and what God is even though it doesn’t feel like it in the present moment. Shortly God will come around. God will speak. God always does. May we ever lean into this reality, especially when we find ourselves in the places of trial and suffering. May it be so.

Prayer: God, you are always watching, always seeing. At times we feel all alone. Even then, though, you are there. Help us to trust when we can’t see and to lean in anyway when we can’t feel your presence. Remind us that even then we are in the palm of your hand. Keep us strong in our faith. Amen.


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In Mission?

Reading: Haggai 1:15b – 2:5

Verse 5: “This is what I covenanted with you… my Spirit remains among you. Do not fear”.

Haggai the prophet is sent to the people who have returned to Israel and are working to restore the city and the temple. The bulk of the exiles remain in Babylon. The work has been slow and has had plenty of obstacles and challenges. God sends Haggai to Zerubbabel the governor, to Joshua the high priest, and to the remnant – the people who have come back to Jerusalem. God’s purpose in sending Haggai is to encourage, to remind, to recommit them to the task at hand. The temple is not what it once was. Some there now can remember the beauty and splendor and glory of the old temple. What appears to be shaping up pales by comparison.

The situation into which Haggai speaks brings to my mind the current state of affairs in my denomination, the United Methodist Church. Many cannot or will not consider that maybe God is doing a new thing. An equal number believe God is in the process of doing just this thing. One group seeks to hold fast to the Biblical truths that have always been truth. Others believe God is speaking a new word into our time. Both sides have dug in and their agenda has become their focus. What has been sacrificed is the mission of the church: to make disciples for the transformation of the world.

For Zerubbabel and Joshua and the remnant, the voices of doubt and discouragement, the pressures applied by those not wanting to see things rebuilt, the weight of continuing to work for God in the midst of all the turmoil – it led them to a place of resignation and despair. I am sure there were still some that held onto God’s vision of rebuilding, but the majority had lost it. To the majority, God said, “Be strong… I am with you”. The Lord Almighty goes on in verse five to say, “This is what I covenanted with you… my Spirit remains among you. Do not fear”. Through Haggai, God’s message is to be strong, to take courage, and to know that God is present and in control.

The message remains true today. As Christians we are called to follow Jesus as we seek to grow in our faith in him and as we seek to be in mission to the world. Yes, some still visit the jail and others care for those in the care centers. But the majority has lost the focus on mission. The eyes and hearts are largely turned inward. The mission of the Christian church universal remains the same that it always has been: to make disciples for the transformation of the world. This was Jesus’ driving focus. May it be ours as well.

Prayer: God of heaven and earth, when I too get sucked down by all that surrounds the church, pour your strength and courage upon me. Remind me over and over that you are in control. Lead me to step where you guide as I seek to live in mission to the church and to the community. Use me today O God. Amen.


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His Everlasting Kingdom

Reading: Daniel 7: 1-3 and 15-18

Verse 18: “The saints of the Most High will receive the kingdom and will possess it forever”.

Today we turn to Daniel and to his vision. Starting in chapter seven it is Daniel who receives the dreams and visions. Up to this point he has interpreted other people’s dreams and visions. In this vision Daniel sees four winds that churn up the sea. Then four beasts rise up out of the tumultuous sea. In a reversal of situations, Daniel must ask another to interpret his vision. He is told that the four beasts represent kingdoms that will rise to rule the world. In verses four through fourteen we learn that each beast has its turn ruling, each a little more violent than the one before it. But then “one like a son of man” comes and is given all authority and power. All peoples that come to him worship him and become part of his everlasting kingdom.

In this vision there is both hope and despair. Daniel learns that yes, one day God will make all things right as Jesus comes to reign. But until then there will be much tumult and war and hardship. We long for Jesus to return as we look at our world today. We too are like each previous generation that looks at the world and wonders if it could get any worse. “Things are not what they used to be” is the cry of each passing generation. And yet each day new life blooms.

In the midst of our lives and in the world around us we see Jesus continuing to be at work. Jesus continues to transform lives, to redeem broken people and broken situations, to work in people’s hearts and minds. There is still much hope in my world. The faithful continue to love God and neighbor. Followers of Jesus Christ still seek to be light and love in the world. Believers yet walk out their faith in the world, drawing others into relationship with Christ.

Our passage from Daniel closes with “the saints of the Most High will receive the kingdom and will possess it forever”. Those saints that have come to the end of their earthly journey, those long past and those in our generation, join Jesus Christ in his everlasting kingdom. This too is our hope. As faithful disciples we too await the day when Jesus reigns. With the saints we say come Lord Jesus, come! Until that day we walk as committed followers, walking in the way of Jesus.

Prayer: Lord God, I again thank you for the saints who have come before and who have helped my walk of faith. Keep my walk true to you and your call to make disciples of all nations and peoples. Draw me each day closer to you. Amen.