pastorjohnb

Thoughts and musings on faith and our mighty God!

Tag Archives: alone


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Afflictions

Reading: Psalm 6:3-9

Psalm 6:3 – “How long will this last? Come back to me, Lord! Deliver me!”

Photo credit: Falaq Lazuardi

David cries out to God in Psalm 6 much as we cry out to God over the courses of our lives. In this Psalm, David is “completely terrified.” Perhaps you have felt this way. Or maybe you have felt utterly hopeless or totally defeated or absolutely alone or beyond grief. Maybe it is a chronic illness that has settled in, disrupting your life. In each case and many more we’ve all uttered words similar to David’s: “How long will this last? Come back to me, Lord! Deliver me!”

David must feel close to death. He lifts the idea that no one praises God from Sheol, a place between death and eternity. As the Psalm continues, David expresses his sorrow and pain. He feels worn out. Each night his bed is soaked with tears. His vision has become unclear – perhaps physically but more likely emotionally. The feeling of not being able to see or think straight has effected all of us during difficult times in life.

The affliction of David appears to be caused by others. David tells the “evil doers” to get away. There is a reason besides simply wanting relief or healing. David declares that God has heard his cries, that God has listened, that God accepts his prayer. The light and love of God has permeated David’s darkness. Of this, David is sure. He feels it in his heart. In our times of suffering and trial, may it be so for us as well.

Prayer: Lord God, sorrow, pain, suffering, grief – they are all part of this life. All will come upon us at times. Lead us to you in these moments and seasons – you are our rock and our hope. Guide us to trust in you alone – you are our strength and our redeemer. Amen.


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God’s Goodness and Faithfulness

Reading: Psalm 77:1-15

Psalm 77:6-7 – “I complain, and my spirit keeps searching: Will my Lord reject me forever? Will he never be pleased again?”

Today’s reading has two distinct portions. In verses 1-10 Asaph, the psalmist, pours our the complaint of a troubled heart. This is all lament. In verses 11-15 the focus shifts to a remembrance of God’s works in the past.

The Psalm begins with a crying out and searching for the Lord. The physical joins the spiritual as hands are outstretched, reaching out for God. Weariness caused by an inability to sleep adds to the lament. In verses 6-7 we read, “I complain, and my spirit keeps searching: Will my Lord reject me forever? Will he never be pleased again?” As he continues, Asaph wonders if God has forgotten the promises made to future generations.

We have all felt what Asaph is feeling. Some of us may be in the midst of trial and suffering right now. We can recall times when the illness just lingered in or when the oppression would not cease. We’ve longed for God to intervene and have wondered where God was as that season or situation drug on and on.

Beginning in verse 11 there is a shift. Asaph begins to recall who and what God has been in the past. He remembers wondrous works and demonstrations of God’s strength. He recalls when God redeemed Israel. Asaph is reminding himself of God’s might. This brings him hope. And he is also inviting God to act in these ways once again. He is reminding God of who God is. This too builds his faith.

In our times of hardship and trial – future or present – may we tune into who and what God is, inviting God to walk with us as we work our way back into God’s presence through prayer and the study of God’s word.

Prayer: Lord God, the times when we feel all alone will surely come. Those seasons are a part of everyone’s life at times. When we find ourselves there, Lord, send the whispers of the Holy Spirit straight to our hearts. Guide us to turn to scripture to remind ourselves of your goodness and faithfulness to all generations. Remind us too of the times you redeemed and restored us. Thank you, God. Amen.


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Even in the Valley

Reading: Psalm 13:1-2 and 5-6

Psalm 13:6 – “Yes, I will sing to the Lord because he has been good to me.”

Psalm 13 begins with a plea for God to remember and rescue. David is beset by an enemy. This could be physical – like when Saul was pursuing him or when Absalom rebelled. It could be emotional – like when he prayed to God to spare his son born of Bathsheba. David cries out to God: “How long?” In his dire situation he feels alone, like God is nowhere to be found.

At times we feel what David feels. The causes can be physical suffering, emotional battles, relational struggles, spiritual conflict. Addiction, illness, loss, grief… can also place us in the valley. Each of these circumstances and/or emotions can feel isolating. We, like David, can cry out “How long?” to God. In these days or even seasons, it can be hard to hold fast to our faith and to trust in God.

David’s thoughts turn in verse 5. He recalls times when he has trusted in God’s faithful love. We too can recall when God was real and present to us in our time of need. David then declares his faith, stating that his heart “will rejoice in your salvation.” We too can declare God’s promises and claim them as our own. In verse 6 David writes, “Yes, I will sing to the Lord because he has been good to me.” Yes, even in the valley we too can raise a song of praise to the Lord our God. May it be so.

Prayer: Lord God, when we feel all alone, when we cannot sense your nearness, whisper your promises into our ears. Jog our memories and nudge us to recall how you’ve been faithful again and again and again. From this place of faith and trust, put a song in our heart. Thank you, eternal one, for always walking with us. Amen.


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Don’t Be Far

Reading: Psalm 22:1-2 and 7-11

Psalm 22:11 – “Please don’t be far from me, because trouble is near.”

Photo credit: Shane Rounce

This week we’ve explored the biblical witness to the reality of heaven (and hell.) As believers there are many times when we experience heaven on earth. We find joy in living with love and hope. We demonstrate our love of God by loving neighbor. We experience blessing through fellowship in the faith community and through God’s presence in Spirit. And there are also times when we feel like David feels in Psalm 22. In a moment of trial or suffering we feel separate from God, experiencing something more like hell on earth.

Verses 1 and 2 express the separation that we feel at times. Where are you God? Why have you left me alone? Why don’t you respond to my pleas and prayers? These are questions we’ve asked and will ask again. They are an honest admission of a very uncomfortable feeling.

In verses 7-8 David shares the trouble that is near. He is suffering and God feels absent. Others ridicule him and his faith in this God who is clearly not rescuing him from this hardship. Then there is a shift in verses 9-11. David remembers his long walk with God – “from birth.” God has always been his God. Oh yes, you’ve always been David’s God. And you are always our God. So David prays, “Please don’t be far from me, because trouble is near.” It is an honest plea to again experience heaven here on earth. In our moments of hardship, may this too be our prayer to God.

Prayer: Lord God, there will be moments when we feel apart from you. Doubt, fear, worry, anger – they can all create this open space. In these moments, O God, remind us too of our long walk with you, of the many, many times when we’ve experienced your presence, hope, love, comfort… Guide us to lean into you, closing the space in between. Amen.


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God’s Power Alone

Readings: Psalms 42-45

‭Psalm 44:25-26 – “Look: we’re going down to the dust… Stand up! Help us! Save us for the sake of your faithful love.”

Psalm 42 expresses a longing for God’s presence. This longing is something we’ve all felt. We all have dry seasons when our “whole being craves you, God.” Our tears too have been our food. In those moments it is important to remember God’s faithful love in the past. It is important even then to lift a song of praise to God. As the refrain says, “Hope in God! Because I will again give him thanks, my saving presence and my God.” God is unchanging. This truth will ever be true. God is our hope.

Psalm 43 is a continuation of Psalm 42. It closes with the exact same refrain. The writer calls for God’s light and truth. These will guide the psalmist; they will guide you and me. They lead to God, “my joy and my delight.”

Lament returns in full force in Psalm 44. It is a communal lament. The psalmist begins by remembering God’s guidance and provision in the past. This recalls Joshua’s conquest of the Promised Land, when God went before Israel. There is a recognition that it was God’s power alone that brought victory. It is the very thought that they count on now that they’ve been “rejected and humiliated.” When we struggle we too can draw upon God’s power, upon our memories of when God made a way. Remembering is a form of praying our faith forward. A desperate plea closes Psalm 44: “Look: we’re going down to the dust… Stand up! Help us! Save us for the sake of your faithful love.” Oh how we’ve prayed these words in our own translation. And may we pray them again and again.

As I began reading Psalm 45 at first I thought: “What?! A love song?!” Why, yes, a love song of God to God’s people. An invitation to celebrate, to be, to live out grace and beauty, truth and righteousness, humility and justice. From one generation to the next may our whole being embody, reveal, and bring praise to God forever and ever.

Prayer: Lord God, a song echoes in my mind: “Oh no, you never let go. In every high and every low, Lord, you never let go of me.” In seasons of disconnection, in times of suffering, in the valleys and on the mountaintops, may we declare your glory with our lives. May we trust daily in the only one who saves, in you, our God and King, our Lord and Savior. Amen.


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Words of Life

Reading: Jeremiah 15:15-21

Verse 19c: “Let this people turn to you, but you must not turn to them.”

Chapter 15 begins as a dual lament. God laments the disobedience and hard hearts of the people. Jeremiah laments where he finds himself – cursed and rejected, abused and alone. This leads him to wonder if God even cares. Our passage today begins with Jeremiah asking for God’s care – via revenge on his enemies. That’s a snapshot into his current emotional state. He laments how taking in and proclaiming God’s word has led him to being an outcast. He asks God why his pain – both physical and emotional – is unending. And then he questions God’s reliability, equating God to “a spring that fails.” His pity party has him spiraling deeper and deeper.

God takes no offense. God understands how hard it is to speak truth to a people bent on evil. God understands how frustrating it is to offer true and abundant life to a people refusing these gifts to chase after the things of this world. God understands because God has been here before and because God is once again torn up about the people’s choices. In grace, God invites Jeremiah back to the task, back to right relationship, back to speaking “worthy” words, back to holy living. This is a great challenge to Jeremiah, to live in the world but not of it. We too wrestle with this challenge.

Much of life is spent living in the world. We too are called to a holy life. God promises to be with us too, to “rescue and save you.” In those moments of doubt and questioning, may we recall these words of truth: “Let this people turn to you, but you must not turn to them.” We know the words of life. We know God is with us. May we ever stand upon these truths.

Prayer: Lord God, when the steps are hard, whisper your words of love. When the temptation to lessen who I am to fit in or to avoid conflict arises, whisper your truths. Strengthen and encourage me for all that living in this world brings. Amen.


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Time and Space to Mourn

Reading: Matthew 14:22-23

Verse 23: “He went up on a mountainside by himself to pray.”

The first two verses of this week’s gospel lesson are a microcosm, a snapshot. Most often they are verses that we read and understand, but do not sit with. These two verses give a wonderful insight into Jesus’ humanity – and into ours.

After healing all day and then feeding the 5,000 Jesus sends the disciples off in the boat and then he dismisses the crowd. He is making time for what he needed to do before the huge crowd arrived. Jesus makes time to mourn the loss of his cousin and fellow prophet. In verse 23 we read, “He went up on a mountainside by himself to pray.” Going up the mountain is God-speak for finding time alone with God. For Jesus, going up the mountain is time to connect with God, just as it was for Moses and Elijah.

Caring for immediate needs can defer grieving. It happens to many of us when we lose a loved one. The immediate and necessary tasks of writing an obituary, of planning and attending a funeral… they consume our attention and energy, much as the healing and feeding of the crowd did for Jesus. This was the divine Jesus in action. Then the human Jesus needed care. He needed time and space to mourn and to be with God in that grieving. Jesus honored his grief. In our times of loss may we follow this example too.

Prayer: Lord God, it can be tempting to defer or ignore our grief. The initial days of autopilot, of getting necessary things done, they can trick us. When that flurry passes, remind us of the intentional choice that Jesus made. Draw us into your peace and consolation, for there we begin to find real healing. Amen.


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Be Present

Reading: Matthew 26:36-46

Verse 38: “My soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death. Stay here and keep watch with me.”

Photo credit: Kyle Johnson

Today we fast-forward in the story line. Tomorrow is Palm Sunday yet in our reading for today we find ourselves in the garden, just before Jesus’ arrest. Today is an invitation to remember what lies ahead, to choose to be present on the holy days that lie just ahead.

Jesus, feeling very emotional, takes the disciples to the garden to pray. He is doing some deep wrestling in his soul and he wants his friends to be with him, to pray for him, to offer their strength in this trial. Inviting Peter, James, and John to go even a little deeper, he says to them, “My soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death. Stay here and keep watch with me.” When our lives have touched on a place of sorrow such as this, we too have longer for others to be present, to pray, to listen. We can relate to Jesus’ need here.

As he prays and wrestles with the task before him, Jesus surrenders again and again and again to God’s will. After each time of intense prayer, he finds the disciples sleeping. I’d guess that you too have endured a time of wrestling with your faith as well as times of deep sorrow when you’ve found yourself feeling alone, as Jesus did. So the invitation today is to stay awake, to be present. Yes, celebrate the palm parade tomorrow. This too is part of the week ahead. But don’t just skip ahead to the “He is risen!” of Easter morning. Be present. Walk with Jesus through the hard days of the coming week. In spirit, sit and feel, experience and connect, pray. Be present to Jesus Christ in the week ahead.

Prayer: Lord God, thank you for the reminder and the invitation to draw near, to connect in. Lead and guide me in the coming week to stay awake, to be present. In these moments, encounters, and experiences, bring me closer to you. Amen.


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God Alone

Reading: 1st Corinthians 3:1-9

Verse 6: “I planted the seed, Apollos watered it, but God has been making it grow.”

Paul addresses the church in Corinth as “worldly” people. In them he still sees jealousy and quarreling. He asks, “Are you not acting like mere humans?” In the same way that Jesus was calling his followers to more in the Sermon on the Mount, so too is Paul challenging the Corinthian church to rise above the petty struggles of the world. Caught up in these worldly cares, the church is divided. Christian love and care and fellowship are hard to find or experience in this church at this moment.

Voicing a humility that is currently lacking in Corinth, Paul reminds them that he and Apollos are “Only servants, through whom you came to believe – as the Lord has assigned to each his task.” Pointing up to the power of God, he continues, “I planted the seed, Apollos watered it, but God has been making it grow.” Yes, he and Apollos and others have humbly served. But God alone sprouted and grew their faith. God alone.

This perspective is important for the church to understand and to live out. It remains as important today as it was in Paul’s time. Yes, all have been blessed with gifts from God and we are all expected to use these gifts to build up the church and the kingdom of God. But the gifts are not inherently ours. They are from God. And it is God alone who does the work of healing or transformation or salvation. Yes, we play a role. We are only “servants.” Like Paul we too know that we must rely on God alone to change lives, including our own. As Paul concludes, “We are God’s fellow workers.” Thanks be to God.

Prayer: Lord God, you alone have the power to save, to redeem, to restore, to bring new life. I am powerless to bring change or to make anything grow. Yet I know you call me to service. So I ask that you would use me today as your fellow worker. Put me to your work. Fill me with guidance from the Holy Spirit so that you may be made known. Amen.


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Hope in God Alone

Reading: 1st Timothy 6:6-10

Verses 11-12: “Flee from all this and pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love, endurance, and gentleness. Fight the good fight of the faith.”

This week’s epistle reading begins by contrasting an earthly life with a heavenly life. Paul begins by speaking of contentment. If we have food and clothes, we can be content. He then contrasts this belief with those who “want to get rich.” Paul notes that these folks easily fall into temptations and “have wandered from the faith and pierced themselves with many griefs.” Instead, Paul encourages Timothy and us to “flee from all this and pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love, endurance, and gentleness. Fight the good fight of the faith.” He doesn’t say to try and avoid it, to see if you can ignore it. No, Paul says FLEE!! Run from the lures of this world and the evils of pursuing wealth. Escape quickly. And Paul knows this is not a one time decision. The lure of wealth keeps after us. That’s why Paul encourages us to “fight the good fight of faith.” Keep battling, keep choosing faith.

Paul invites us to pursue God and God’s ways: righteousness, godliness, and such. For Paul, if we choose to pursue these things then we experience heaven here on earth, being filled with contentment and joy. If we choose to live out our confession of faith then we will not only “lay up a good foundation for the coming age” but we will also “take hold of the life that is truly life.” We will naturally do what Paul asks those with wealth to do. We will “do good… being generous and willing to share.” Living and building the kingdom here on earth we will put our hope in God alone. May it be so.

Prayer: Lord God, day by day help me to fight the good fight of faith. Guide me to do good and to be generous to others. Moment by moment empower me to resist the temptations of this world. Doing so, may I find true life in you. Amen.