pastorjohnb

Thoughts and musings on faith and our mighty God!

Tag Archives: desperation


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An Intent to Obey and Honor

Reading: Luke 15:13-19

Luke 15:16 – “He longed to eat his fill from what the pigs ate, but no one gave him anything.”

Photo credit: Mitchel Lensink

The parable of the lost son is well-known. In his youthful pride the younger son demands his share of the inheritance. He is ready to be his own man. As our reading begins the young man gathers all he has and travels to a land far away to make his mark on the world. But the lost son was not ready. He quickly wasted his wealth in selfish and extravagant living. Far from home, with no resources, the young man suffers during the famine that strikes the land.

The lost son finds work feeding pigs, an unclean animal according to Jewish law. He is low as low can get. In verse 16 we read, “He longed to eat his fill from what the pigs ate, but no one gave him anything.” In deep trouble and in great need, the prodigal son comes to his senses. It may be tempting to tsk-tsk the young man, but we’ve all likely been there. For some of us, more than once or four times. We have tried everything we can think of. We’ve tried bargaining with God. At rock bottom, alongside desperation, humility begins to kick in. A willingness to offer apologies and to seek forgiveness replaced the pride that led us astray.

The young man resolves to go home, to admit his sin against his father and against God, and to ask to simply be a hired hand. This place of mind and heart reminds me of a line from John Wesley’s Covenant Prayer: “I am no longer my own, but thine. Put me to what thou wilt, rank me with whom thou wilt.” It is a prayer of surrender and humility. These words declare an intent to obey and honor God in all things. May this intent be revealed in all we do, say, and think.

Prayer: Lord God, pride is so dangerous. Not only does it place self first, it also places others below our judgment seat. When we enter this dangerous place, O God, lead us to a place of surrender. Maybe through suffering, maybe by another means, draw us back into relationship, back to a place where your will and way become our will and way. Thank you for your patience and for your grace. Amen.


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May the God of…

Reading: 1st Samuel 1:9-17

1st Samuel 1:16b – “This whole time I’ve been praying out of my great worry and trouble.”

Photo credit: Rainier Ridao

Today’s scene is located in a place of worship in Shiloh. Elkanah, the husband of Hannah and Peninnah, takes his family here once a year to worship and sacrifice to the Lord. Hannah’s life is very hard emotionally. Peninnah would “make fun of her mercilessly” because Hannah was unable to conceive children. Children, especially male children, were highly valued in that culture. If Elkanah died, for example, Hannah’s survival would depend on her offspring. Bearing and raising children was Hannah’s main responsibility in life and she was unable to meet this expectation.

It is with heaviness of heart and soul that Hannah goes to the place of worship. She is “very upset” and she “couldn’t stop crying.” She pours our her heart to God, begging for a son, promising to “give him to the Lord for his entire life.” This willingness to give up a son reveals the depth of her pain and shame over being childless. While our society today doesn’t place the same premium on bearing children, what does bring shame in our culture? If you are without ____, what marginalizes people today?

Eli sees Hannah praying. The priest assumes that she is drunk. She is not. She says to Eli, “This whole time I’ve been praying out of my great worry and trouble.” She has almost assuredly prayer for a child ever since marrying Elkanah. The desperation has risen with each child Peninnah bore to him. Understanding the depth of her pain, sorrow, and shame, Eli blesses her, saying, “May the God of Israel give you what you’ve asked from him.” In our moments of great need, may it be so for us as well.

Prayer: Lord God, sometimes we feel like Hannah. Sometimes we feel marginalized and less than. For some folks, though, that is their “normal.” Lord, open our eyes and awaken our hearts to those who exist on the edges today. With your love and compassion, guide us to draw them into community, into a place where they can find meaning and worth. Through the sharing of our blessings, use us to meet their needs. Amen.


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Surrender, Trust, Belief

Reading: Psalm 31:1-5 and 15-16

Verse 5: “Into your hands I commit my spirit; deliver me, Lord, my faithful God.”

Photo credit: Shane Rounce

In Psalm 31 David turns to God in the midst of a trial. He begins by reminding God that he has taken refuge in God before. Maybe he’s reminding himself too. Then David turns to the Lord for help, leaning into his current trial. Seeking protection and deliverance and rescue, David asks God to “be my rock of refuge, my strong fortress.” When we too are in a time of trial we pray such prayers. It is natural to turn to the one who has been there before, trusting them to be there once again.

There’s a slight shift in verse 3. It is subtle but here David begins to include God in the prayer. Because God is David’s rock and refuge, “for the sake of your name,” David prays, “lead and guide me. Free me… for you are my refuge.” Others are watching God. Others know that David turns to God and relies on God. David is saying, in essence, ‘God, you gotta come through.’ At times I’ve prayed along these lines. In desperation I’ve tried playing this card. Yet, doing so, it is also a reminder of God’s faithfulness.

Verses 5, 15, and 16 carry a different tone. These are words of surrender and trust. “Into your hands I commit my spirit; deliver me, Lord, my faithful God.” Jesus prayed these words on the cross. Stephen echoed them as he was being stoned. There is a calm in these words, a belief that God has it, that God is in control. As we bring our needs, our trials, our confessions, our concerns to the Lord, may we do so with the same surrender, trust, and belief.

Prayer: Lord God, I praise you for your steadfast love and for your faithfulness. Time and time again you’ve been there for me. Continue to walk with me, to guide me, to lead me. Be the Lord of my life. I surrender to you. Amen.


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Daughter

Reading: Mark 5: 24b-34

Verse 28: “If I just touch his clothes, I will be healed”.

Photo credit: Elia Pelligrini

A great crowd follows Jesus and Jairus as they make their way to the synagogue leader’s home. They are focused on Jairus’ dying daughter. In the crowd is a woman who has been bleeding for twelve years. The nonstop flow of blood has a huge impact on her. She has been living on the fringes of society – always ceremonially unclean. In the excitement of the moment she is able to slip into the crowd. She is among people again. But her focus is singular. Jesus is present. She is drawn to get to him. She thinks, “If I just touch his clothes, I will be healed”. Is it faith or hope or desperation that draws her to Jesus? Or is it some of all three?

Suddenly the great crowd grinds to a halt. The woman worked her way to Jesus and touches his cloak. She is immediately healed – fully, completely, totally. Jesus knows that someone has drawn power and healing from him. The woman approaches, trembling in fear, falling at his feet. She tells the truth of what has happened, all of it. How does this all-powerful and holy one react to being touched by an outcast, by an unclean woman? He says to her, “Daughter, your faith has healed you. Go in peace and be freed from your suffering”. Daughter, welcome home. Daughter, glad to finally meet you. Daughter, peace be with you.

Who do I know that lives on the fringes? Who is there that I don’t even know? Who are these for you? What son or daughter of God feels outside the family of faith? May we seek ways to connect them to the healer. Whether touching them with words, with an act of kindness, with an invitation, may we share our Jesus with them.

Prayer: Lord God, guide me today to share my Jesus with one who feels far from you. Use me however you will to connect them to the healer’s touch. Amen.


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Attentive

Reading: Psalm 130: 1-2

Verse 2: “Let your ears be attentive to the voice of my supplications”.

Photo credit: Jon Tyson

The Psalm for today begins at a place of need, a place of hurting – “out of the depths”. This is a place that we’ve all prayer from. Whether death or illness or persecution or unwanted change or… we have felt alone and called out in desperation, “Lord, hear my voice”. And then we’ve longed for a response. At times it’s been immediate. God’s presence becomes tangible, the doorbell rings and God has sent someone heading our way, a song comes on the radio. At times we wait a bit. We do not feel abandoned yet we do not have an answer right then. So we keep on praying and then God answers one day – in a text or note or call, in a verse or devotional that we read, in something we hear at church. Most often in these moments we realize that God has been there all along. We just needed eyes to see or ears to hear.

Some of the time, though, it seems to become an extended period feeling alone, isolated, without love or support. We pray along the lines of the psalmist, crying out, “Let your ears be attentive to the voice of my supplications”. Long enough, O God! Hear the words of my prayer, the need of my heart! We think, if you’ll but hear you’ll listen, you’ll respond God, you’ll be attentive to what I want or think I need. In these moments it is hard to trust, to wait on God. Just as God is faithful, so too must we be faithful. We must be diligent in our prayers, faithful in our daily walk with the Lord, attentive to our place within the relationship. In his time, God will respond, he will attend to our prayers. The Lord will not pass us by. Thanks be to God.

Prayer: Lord God, in my moments of desperation first lift up me trust in you. Remind me of your faithfulness that has come again and again so that I too may be faithful. I trust in you alone. Amen.


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Call on God

Reading: Psalm 17: 1-7 and 15

Verse 6: “I call on you, O God, for you will answer me; give ear to me and hear my prayer”.

Today’s Psalm is a prayer to God for help and protection. As I read David’s words, I know that I have prayer similar prayers at times. Just as it is from time to time with my prayers, in David’s prayer there are two angles. The first is mentioned above – a desire for help and protection. We all pray these prayers, usually daily at least. If these prayers are not for ourselves, we certainly raise them for family, friends, and others. These prayers can be sincere petitions for God’s touch or presence or they can be prayers of anguish and desperation.

As we read today’s Psalm, for me there is also a familiarity with the righteousness of David’s prayer. He is assured of his own righteousness and holy living. David claims to have “kept from the ways of the violent” and that his “feet have not slipped”. There is almost an air of ‘Look how good I am God. How can this be happening to me’? Again, I too have prayed this kind of prayer from this place in my heart. When we have been striving to live faithfully and something unjust or unethical happens to us, it is natural to question God as to why it is happening. Even though it may be our natural inclination, it is dangerous ground to try and leverage God or to expect better because of what we perceive as our own superior righteousness or goodness.

In verse six David shows his trust in God. Here we read, “I call on you, O God, for you will answer me; give ear to me and hear my prayer”. David is sure that God will hear and answer. The Psalm also closes with David trusting in God. He believes that in the morning, when all of this has passed, that he will see God’s face. The trust that God will see him through is a trust that we too should model. As we ourselves bring our prayers and petitions to God, may we humbly exhibit the same deep trust in God’s presence and care and love for us. Day by day may we too see God’s face.

Prayer: Lord God, remind me daily of your love and care. In ways small and large grant that I may see your hand at work in my life and in the church. May I ever trust in you alone. Amen.


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Holy Spirit Prayer

Reading: Romans 8: 26-27

Verse 27: “The Spirit intercedes for the saints in accordance with God’s will”.

Our prayer lives can run the gamut from rote mealtime prayers to times of deep prayer where we are barely using words. Our simple mealtime prayers are an acknowledgement of God’s gifts and a request for God’s blessings. Our daily prayers are usually petitions and requests, sometimes with a little thanksgiving and confession sprinkled in. In times of more pressing need our prayers can take on an urgency or a desperation that usually reflect our human emotions rather than God’s will and ways. Our hearts and lips will also offer breath or thought prayers. For example, in my prayer life the sound of sirens trigger a simple prayer for the EMTs… and for those being responded to…

All forms of prayer are good because they connect us to God. Prayer, at its roots, is simply communication with God. At its most basic it is simple and plain communication – like saying hello to the person you pass on the sidewalk. As we work our way into deeper prayer the communication becomes more and more personal, more honest, more transparent. The deepest prayer involves laying oneself bare before God and giving oneself up in total surrender. There is a feeling of vulnerability and a sense of discomfort to this level of prayer. Today, though, Paul reveals a truth about prayer.

In verse 26 we read that the Spirit intercedes for us – often in “groans that words cannot express”. The Spirit searches our hearts and then “intercedes for the saints in accordance with God’s will”. The indwelling presence of the living God searches our hearts and then prays for us in accordance with God’s will. These are honest and sincere prayers. They are open and full of transparency. Knowing that the Spirit is praying with and for us in this manner should free us up to bring anything and everything to God. The Spirit already is.

Our prayer life will operate on many levels. On occasion, though, may we delve a bit deeper in prayer, to that place of sighs and groans, allowing the Holy Spirit to lead and guide us into a deep intimacy with God. There we will find out deepest connection to the Lord our God.

Prayer: God, I recognize the call to deep and intimate prayer begins with a step away from the busyness and noise of the world. And then I must take willing and intentional steps into your presence. Give me the courage and strength to step there, into your light and love. Draw me in today, O Lord. Amen.