pastorjohnb

Thoughts and musings on faith and our mighty God!

Tag Archives: doubt


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Patient Trust

Reading: Matthew 13: 24-30

Verse 29: “…while you are pulling the weeds you may root up the wheat with them”.

I tend to be a fixer. When problems or issues arise I want to fix them. In general, most of us get uncomfortable when things are not right. In those cases our leaning is to make things right then and there. Many of us are like the servants in today’s parable.

The parable begins with the planting of wheat in the field. During the night an enemy sows weeds in the same field. Over time both seeds sprout and begin to grow. The landowner’s servants see both wheat and weeds in the field and ask the landowner what happened. They ask him, “Didn’t you sow good seeds?” This too is one of my tendencies. When things go poorly or not well I too tend to question, to doubt, to blame. But the owner replies, “An enemy did this”. It was something out of his control. He recognizes that at times people and other forces outside of our control will affect and effect us. Other people can also make bad decisions, nature strikes, some people are greedy and immoral.

Like the servants, our first reaction is usually to do react, to do something. But the owner practices patience. He tells the servants “no”. He wants them to wait because “…while you are pulling the weeds you may root up the wheat with them”. He correctly understands that both root systems might be damaged by pulling the weeds now. Instead he instructs them to wait for the harvest. This advice is good for us as well. When we practice patience and trust God to work things out in his time, things usually work out. In faith may we take our prayers to the Lord, trusting in and waiting on his answer.

Prayer: Lord God, when I want to jump in and solve or fix, may your Holy Spirit remind me to breathe, to be patient, to turn first to you for discernment and guidance. In trust may I relinquish all worry and fear and doubt and angst. Help me to trust in you alone. Amen.


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Remaining Connected

Reading: Genesis 25: 19-34

Verse 21: “Isaac prayed to the Lord on behalf of his wife, because she was barren”.

Last week we looked at the miraculous story of finding a wife for Isaac. The baby born when mom and dad were 90 and 100, respectively, marries a wife that clearly God had a hand in selecting. Remember how the servant’s prayer was exactly how things unfolded in finding Rebekah? It seemed like a fairy tale beginning to a storybook marriage. But then, in today’s passage, we find that it is not exactly the case. They cannot have children. Rebekah is barren.

One of the main reasons for marriage was to have children, to produce heirs. Children were a couple’s pride and joy. They were a sign of God’s blessings. But Isaac and Rebekah were without children. Like Abraham and Sarah before them, like Zechariah and Elizabeth and many other couples to follow, this barrenness was like a cross to bear. And like all the other cases of barrenness that we read about in the Bible, God chooses to intervene in their behalf. In verse 21 we read, “Isaac prayed to the Lord on behalf of his wife, because she was barren”. God responds with twins! As it was with all of these couples, God has a plan and will work it out in his time and in his way.

Although for most of us barrenness is not our issue, for some couples it is. Others deal with sickness or disease. Some struggle with an addiction. Anger, doubt, anxiety, pride, selfishness, loneliness, singleness – the list of things we bring to God is long. We all need God’s intervention. Whatever valley we are in or whichever sin we are currently dealing with, we all need God to answer our prayer. For us, as it well may have been for Isaac, the waiting is the hardest part.

In the passage it sounds so easy: he prayed and they become pregnant – all in one verse. We’d all like our prayers answered in what appears to be expediency. But more often our reality is like Isaac and Rebekah’s reality – married when he was 40, the twins are not born for another 20 years. For us there is often a span of time that falls between our initial prayer and God’s response. Isaac and Rebekah remain connected to God and God remains connected to them. They trust in God’s plan. May we do so as well.

Prayer: God of all, you created this world and continue to create, to form, to shape, to guide. Help me to have a faith that is trusting and patient, content and assured. Lead me to a faithful and long walk with you. Amen.


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Step by Step

Reading: Matthew 11: 25-30

Verse 29: “Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart”.

In the second section of this week’s passage from Matthew 11, Jesus begins by reminding us that faith comes to those who are pure in heart and who have a childlike heart. Faith is, after all, a thing of the heart, not of the head. The wise of this world have no need for faith in Jesus – at least in their minds. Only those whom God chooses to reveal the Son to will know Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior.

In verse 28 we hear the invitation to come to Jesus, to turn over our weariness and burdens to him. When we give these things to Jesus, we find relief. When we trust him with our worries and fears, with our doubts and concerns, he will help to lift these things. When we are worried and burdened by our sin, when we confess and repent of these things, he will lift these as well. This is what Jesus is talking about when he says, “Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart”. A yoke implies a pair, a team, a partner. Jesus is inviting us to be yoked to him. He is inviting us into a relationship with him where we walk side by side, sharing the load together. As we do so, we do learn from him. We learn first that Jesus is gentle and humble. Love comes first with Jesus, followed quickly by grace and mercy, peace and joy, forgiveness and restoration. He is the gentle shepherd. Being humble comes next. Jesus teaches us to think less and less of self and more and more of God and other. He models a servant’s heart that is willing to serve one and all.

As we walk, yoked to Jesus, we do find rest for our souls. The burdens and cares of this world begin to pale. This happens as our trust in God grows to become more and more like Jesus’ trust in God. The further we journey, the more we come to understand that his “yoke is easy” and that the “burden is light”. As we mature in faith, the walk of faith becomes easier as our trust grows and following becomes more natural as we learn to walk step by step with Jesus Christ. Today and every day may we be yoked to Jesus, learning to walk more and more like him.

Prayer: Loving God, thank you for walking with me daily, for showing me the way that leads to abundant life. Your love and kindness amaze me. Your grace and mercy astounds me. Guide my feet and my heart today as I seek to walk in step with Jesus. Amen.


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Daily Choosing

Reading: Romans 6: 12-23

Verse 14: “For sin shall not be your master, because you are not under the law, but under grace”.

Paul is writing to the church in Rome because they are struggling with living righteous lives. Sin is present. Some people have even adopted the belief that they can do whatever they want because grace will cover all sin. This passage remains very applicable today – maybe even moreso than the day it was written.

Paul begins by encouraging the followers of Jesus to not let sin reign in their “mortal bodies”. As followers today we understand why this encouragement is so necessary. Sin is ever present in our lives. The world and culture around us promotes sinful choices and indulgent living. When we are younger or just new to the faith the lures of the flesh and the desires of the world draw us towards sin. These things do lose some of their allure as we mature, but other struggles arise. Pride and ego grow and the need to be in control can become struggles. Our tongues remain something we must keep tightly bridled. Things like worry and fear, doubt and anger, jealousy and envy are lifelong battles for many of us who follow Jesus.

Paul reminds those in the Roman church and all of us today that sin should not be our master because “you are not under the law, but under grace”. The law points out our wrongs or sins and it condemns unrighteous behaviors and choices. But under the law our sin remains. The shame and the guilt become co-masters with sin when we allow sin to take root in our lives. Paul reminds us that we are living under grace. As such, sin is not in control. When we confess and repent of our sin, we are freed by grace from the sin and from the shame and guilt. We are made new again.

It is a wonderful and beautiful thing, this grace. One may even ask or think, then why not just choose grace? If it were that easy how good life would be! But sin is a near constant presence, the battle is always just right there. Daily, even moment by moment at times, we must “offer ourselves to God”, choosing to walk in his righteousness. May it be so today.

Prayer: Lord God, in the flesh the struggle with sin is so real, so regular, so present. Thank you that your Spirit is right here within me, reminding, guarding, encouraging… Strengthen my faith, O God, that I may walk in the light. Amen.


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Remember

Reading: Psalm 86: 1-10 and 16-17

Verse 5: “You are forgiving and good, O Lord, abounding in love to all who call on you”.

In our Psalm for this week, David cries out to God and he praises God for all God has done. The emotions and feelings in the Psalm cover a wide spectrum of our faith and of our lives. In the opening lines, for example, David asks for protection and mercy and to experience joy. In the next stanza we read, “You are forgiving and good, O Lord, abounding in love to all who call on you”. There is a trust and a confidence that God will answer. That trust and confidence are built upon the history of God and the chosen people. This thought is reflected in verses eight through ten. Then, in our closing verses for today, we hear a request for strength and then a plea to save a son. It closes with an almost desperate plea for a sign that God is still there. Where did the trust and confidence of the earlier verses go?

As one considers the reality of our faith – strong one moment and shaking the next, full of assurance one day and then nothing but doubt and worry the next… – the range of the Psalm is really representative of our own journeys of faith. Yet within the Psalm there is also an undercurrent that we must recognize. Throughout, God is steadfast and his love is always there for his children. On our “good” days we know these things to be true. May we also remember these truths as we cry out and plead with God. His mercies are new every morning and his love never fails. Thanks be to God.

Prayer: O Lord, how these days feel so much like the Psalm. As we prepare to go forth, one moment there is deep, deep sadness. Tears flow. The next there is a sense of excitement and anticipation of what you will do in our next place of ministry. I can hardly sleep. Guide us through, allow us to feel and connect with and to these wide ranges of emotion. Be with us, O God. Amen.


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Trust and Pray

Reading: Acts 1: 6-14

Verse 8: “You will receive power when the Holy Spirit comes on you”.

Now that Jesus has completed his earthly ministry, maybe now is the time that the mighty, kingly Jesus will appear to restore Israel to its glory. The disciples ask if the time is now. Jesus plainly tells them that it is “not for you to know” when Jesus will return in glory. It will not be as a great warrior in the way they are imagining. Instead of worrying about the future, Jesus focuses them in on the task at hand: to continue his ministry of transforming the world.

But the task will not begin right now either. Jesus tells them, “you will receive power when the Holy Spirit comes on you”. He builds their anticipation and tells them what they will do – soon. Then Jesus ascends into heaven and their waiting begins. As these followers of Jesus return to Jerusalem, they gather together in constant prayer. Yes, they must certainly have been excited at the prospect of being filled with the Holy Spirit. They might not know exactly what that will be or look like, but they do know that they will be empowered to witness to their faith in Jesus.

In the time of waiting, they pray. Although we should turn to prayer as our first option, this is not always our first response. We can sure worry a lot or we can be overcome with doubt. We can decide we are not going to wait and we will try and take charge ourselves. Some of the time we can even get angry or mad at having to wait. The followers of Jesus had learned well from him. In the waiting, they pray. They can do this because they trust in Jesus. In our waiting may we do the same: trust and pray.

Prayer: Dear God, sometimes it is hard to wait, to be patient. Yet at times we must, I must. When I struggle, Lord, remind me to first trust in you, to wait in you. Then turn my heart to prayer. Amen.


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Suffering with Jesus

Reading: 1 Peter 4:12-14 and 5:6-11

Verse 10: “The God of grace… after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm, and steadfast”.

Peter is writing to encourage the followers of Jesus Christ who are in trials and sufferings. As foreign as this sounds to us, suffering for their faith was a regular event. For much of the first 300 years of the church, it was dangerous to be a Christian. The Jews and the Romans were both openly hostile towards Jesus’ disciples and followers. Yet the church thrived and grew. Today we see this same thing happening in places where there is a potential cost to following Jesus. The willingness to risk and to pay the cost refines and bolsters the faith.

Peter encourages the early church to “rejoice that you participate in the sufferings of Christ”. The disciples in the early church were grateful to suffer for Christ because they understood that they were suffering with Christ. They were literally doing what Jesus did. I once read or heard a quote that roughly said: “If you are not suffering a little for your faith perhaps your faith is too little”. In essence the author was getting at the idea that if no one notices you are a Christian, are you really a Christian? There is a lot of truth to that. Too often we like to fly our faith below the radar.

Peter identifies and warns his disciples about the cause of their suffering. We fly low for the same reason. In verse eight he reminds them that “the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour”. Imagine the power of that verse as the Roman practice of throwing Christians to the lions ramped up. The devil continues to prowl today. His favorite weapons are still fear, doubt, anxiety, worry… Peter encourages the early church and us today to “resist him, standing firm in the faith”. Trust that God is really in control. Remain in Jesus Christ just as he seeks to remain in you.

Peter closes with this promise: “The God of grace… after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm, and steadfast”. Yes, we will suffer at times if we are really living out the gospel faith that Jesus modeled. Yes, we will. God is not only with us in the sufferings, but he will always bring us through stronger and with a deeper faith. May we trust in our Lord and Savior, stepping where he leads us today.

Prayer: Lord God, no one likes to suffer. I don’t like to suffer. Yet at times you call me to do just that. I can rejoice and even thank you for my times of suffering. They have been fruitful and have led to growth in me and in my faith. May your Holy Spirit help me to be willing to do whatever you call me to today. Amen.


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Trust…

Reading: John 14: 1-7

Verse 1: “Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God; trust also in me”.

The encouragement to not be troubled (or worried or afraid) is one made often in the Bible. There are many things that can trigger fear to arise in us. In today’s passage the disciples fear what lies ahead. In John’s gospel Jesus has just predicted his death, paused to wash the feet of the disciples, and then predicted the betrayal by Judas and the denial by Peter. All of this must have been so much to take on in such a short time. It is no wonder Jesus says to them, “Do not let your hearts be troubled”.

On our journey of life we too receive such bombshell news. It can range from a threatening medical diagnosis to the unexpected loss of employment. It can range from the ending of a significant relationship to the unwanted relocation to a new state or country. These and many more life events can suddenly skyrocket our levels of fear and stress and anxiety. In each of these cases we too need to hear Jesus’ voice as he whispers, “Do not let your hearts be troubled”. Perhaps you need to hear these words today. If so, Jesus wants to speak them to you.

Jesus continues on, telling the disciples and you and me to “trust in God; trust also in me”. The ability to trust comes from the words that Jesus speaks next in verses two through four. Yes, he is physically leaving the disciples. Yes, that is bombshell news. But. But. But he is leaving “to prepare a place for you”. We can each place our name in the phrase: “to prepare a place for John“, “to prepare a place for Sue”, “to prepare a place for ___”. He is doing so with a promise: “I will come back and take you to be with me”. We are not will not ever be left alone. This cuts through our fear. The assurance that Jesus gives calms the disciples’ hearts. It allows them to dial back the fear and doubt and worry. Only then can they hear the rest of Jesus’ words.

As our passage closes, Jesus says, “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me”. No matter what life brings, these words bring hope, they build trust, they fight fear. Each day may we cling to them as we seek to walk in faith with our Jesus. As we do so, know that Jesus walks with us every step of the way. Thanks be to God.

Prayer: Living hope, be present to each facing fear today. Assure each first of your presence. Then fill these with your love and peace. Surround us all with your light. In your light there is no darkness. Thank you, Jesus. Amen.


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Walk and Listen

Reading: Luke 24: 13-27

Verse 21: “We had hoped that he was the one who was going to redeem Israel”.

As Cleopas and his traveling companion walked along the road from Jerusalem to Emmaus they were discussing the recent events in the city. These two were followers of Jesus. As he joins them, they are surprised that their new traveling partner does not appear to know much about what has happened to their Jesus. I live in a community of about 3,000. As I read the weekly newspaper I realize that there are lots of things that go on in town that I had no clue about. On a smaller scale, there are things that go on in my church that I sometimes find out about after the fact. There are some things that I am sure I will never know about. Now, neither of these are on the scale of a crucifixion – to Jesus’ family and followers. But there were certainly people living in and visiting Jerusalem just knew that three more men were punished by the Romans.

The two men walking to Emmaus seem to know a lot about these recent events and seem pretty connected to the other followers of Jesus. The phrases “some of our women” and “our companions” indicate a closeness to the early group of disciples and followers. They also knew the physical details of what all has happened to Jesus. They know the facts. But, as seems to be the case with almost all of Jesus’ followers at this point, they have forgotten both what Jesus himself said would happen over and over as well as what the prophecies say in the scriptures concerning the Messiah. These two, like the rest, are doubting what the women have told them. Because the companions that went to the tomb did not see him, they all question if Jesus really could be alive. Surely, surely, surely if Jesus were alive he would have come and comforted them in their grief and explained all that was going on to erase their confusion. Surely.

Jesus begins this process with Cleopas and friend. Walking along the road to Emmaus he explains all that the scriptures say that has now been fulfilled in Jerusalem. These two men who were hoping that Jesus was the one to redeem Israel come face to face with their redeemer. In grace, Jesus meets them where they are at and ministers to them, providing what they need. He offers the same to you and to me and to all people who seek to walk with him. May we choose to walk with Jesus today, listening to all he has to tell us this day.

Prayer: Father of all, walk with me, whisper into my heart. Fill me with your presence so that I may serve you this day. Amen.