pastorjohnb

Thoughts and musings on faith and our mighty God!

Tag Archives: grief


by Leave a comment

Tears of Grief

Reading: Jeremiah 8:18-9:2

Jeremiah 8:21 – “Because my people are crushed, I am crushed; darkness and despair overwhelm me.”

Photo credit: Rainier Ridao

In today’s passage from Jeremiah it is difficult to determine if God is speaking or if it is Jeremiah speaking. Our verses today seem to be a mix of the two, with both God and prophet expressing their grief over Judah’s fate. For many years, God’s people have been unfaithful to their God. Their choice to abandon God has led to God’s choice to abandon them to their sin. At times we too can choose to separate ourselves from God. We too grieve God’s heart this deeply.

God seems to be the speaker in verses 19-21. The people are asking a question and implying another that are common in times of loss and pain and grief. Directly they are asking where the Lord is: “Isn’t the Lord in Zion?” This is a question often asked in grief. The second question is implied: Why, why is this happening to us? This is a question that we can ask when lost in our sin as well. When our sin that consumed us leads to a place of pain and suffering, we can forget that our choices brought us to this place. In the disorientation of grief, we do ask “Why?”

For God’s people , the answer is given: idol worship has led to this place. As the prophet that worked to turn Judah back to God, Jeremiah grieves too. In verse 21 we read, “Because my people are crushed, I am crushed; darkness and despair overwhelm me.” The tentacles of grief surround the prophet. He laments alongside the people who are far from God. This is a place we will also find ourselves. Walking alongside others in grief, feeling and taking on some of their pain and sorrow. Our tears join their tears as we offer love and comfort in the midst of their hurt and despair. Doing so, we bring God’s presence into the darkness and despair.

Prayer: Lord God, times of grief and suffering are sure to come – to ourselves, to those we love, to our neighbors. In these times, may we sense your presence and may we lean into your love and strength, whether for ourselves or as we walk with others. Be with us in our tears, O God. Amen.


by Leave a comment

Changing Dynamics

Reading: Philemon 1-21

Philemon 6 – “I pray that your partnership in the faith might become effective by an understanding of all that is good among us in Christ.”

Photo credit: Sophie Walker

Today’s reading – a short letter containing 21 verses – appeals to a slave owner on behalf of the slave. Paul writes to Philemon, a fellow Christian who is known for his love and faithfulness. Paul addresses his letter not only to Philemon but also to the church that meets in his house. This home church was likely started by Paul and is likely led now by Philemon. Paul writes to both because he is counting on grace to shape both Philemon’s decision and the community that will be affected by his decision.

Paul is sending Onesimus, the runaway slave, back to Philemon, probably with this letter in hand. Paul has been in prison and Onesimus has been like a son to him. He sends Onesimus back not as a slave but as if he was sending “his own heart,” as one who has become “a dearly loved brother to me.” Paul writes this prayer to Philemon: “I pray that your partnership in the faith might become effective by an understanding of all that is good among us in Christ.” Paul hopes that Philemon, a fellow leader in the church and a brother in Christ, will accept Onesimus back not as a slave but as “a brother to you, personally and spiritually in the Lord.” Paul is asking Philemon to change the dynamics of the relationship in a radical way.

How might the Spirit ask you or I to do a similar thing? While the slavery of this distant past doesn’t exist, today many people are enslaved in other ways. Who do we hold imprisoned in stereotypes or in broken relationships? Who do we know that is held captive by addiction or debt or grief or because of continuing unwise or unhealthy choices? What radical steps or changes of heart could we undertake in ourselves to love and free these folks, seeing them as sisters and brothers in Christ?

Prayer: Lord God, just as Paul experienced the life-changing love and grace of Christ, so too have we experienced his love and grace. Move in our hearts today, Lord Jesus, to open us up to changing the broken dynamics, to seeing all as a future brother or sister in Christ. In practicing radical love and grace we will be transformed as we seek to transform our world into the kingdom of God, here on earth. Amen.


by Leave a comment

Afflictions

Reading: Psalm 6:3-9

Psalm 6:3 – “How long will this last? Come back to me, Lord! Deliver me!”

Photo credit: Falaq Lazuardi

David cries out to God in Psalm 6 much as we cry out to God over the courses of our lives. In this Psalm, David is “completely terrified.” Perhaps you have felt this way. Or maybe you have felt utterly hopeless or totally defeated or absolutely alone or beyond grief. Maybe it is a chronic illness that has settled in, disrupting your life. In each case and many more we’ve all uttered words similar to David’s: “How long will this last? Come back to me, Lord! Deliver me!”

David must feel close to death. He lifts the idea that no one praises God from Sheol, a place between death and eternity. As the Psalm continues, David expresses his sorrow and pain. He feels worn out. Each night his bed is soaked with tears. His vision has become unclear – perhaps physically but more likely emotionally. The feeling of not being able to see or think straight has effected all of us during difficult times in life.

The affliction of David appears to be caused by others. David tells the “evil doers” to get away. There is a reason besides simply wanting relief or healing. David declares that God has heard his cries, that God has listened, that God accepts his prayer. The light and love of God has permeated David’s darkness. Of this, David is sure. He feels it in his heart. In our times of suffering and trial, may it be so for us as well.

Prayer: Lord God, sorrow, pain, suffering, grief – they are all part of this life. All will come upon us at times. Lead us to you in these moments and seasons – you are our rock and our hope. Guide us to trust in you alone – you are our strength and our redeemer. Amen.


by Leave a comment

Shining the Light

Reading: Luke 22:39-53

Luke 22:53b – “But this is your time, when darkness rules.”

On the Mount of Olives, in the Garden of Gethsemane, Jesus goes to God in prayer. This was a place Jesus went to regularly. He invites the disciples to pray too, so that they “won’t give in to temptation.” Moving away from them, Jesus prays earnestly, so much so that he sweats profusely and needs angelic strengthening. His prayer reveals both his humanity and his understanding of his purpose. In this hardest moment, Jesus ponders if the “cup of suffering” can be taken away. Then, in obedience, he prays, “not my will but your will must be done.” He returns to the disciples and finds them sleeping, “overcome with grief.”

At times we will struggle or waver. The thing God is asking of us is hard, maybe feels risky, possibly includes a cost. So we teeter. At times we do step forward. Other times we choose the easier way. In our own way we too “sleep,” giving in to the temptation of non-obedience. As we grow in our faith, as we mature, we come to better understand our purpose in the kingdom of God. While we’ll still fail, the frequency lessens.

The story continues as the mob arrives to arrest Jesus. A disciple starts to defend Jesus. He quickly halts the violence, healing the injury, reminding the disciples of who he is and who he is not. Jesus questions the mob – the swords and the clubs. He reminds them of his daily presence in the temple. The implied question is, “Why didn’t you arrest me there?” Jesus answers this unspoken question: “But this is your time, when darkness rules.” In an isolated place, under cover of darkness, Jesus is arrested.

Prayer: Lord God, thank you for this look into Jesus’ humanity, into his struggle. In our battles with obedience, remind us of this moment. May we draw upon strength moving forward, upon grace in failure. Encourage us to be people of the light, shining your love and power into the darkness of this world. Amen.


by Leave a comment

Even in the Valley

Reading: Psalm 13:1-2 and 5-6

Psalm 13:6 – “Yes, I will sing to the Lord because he has been good to me.”

Psalm 13 begins with a plea for God to remember and rescue. David is beset by an enemy. This could be physical – like when Saul was pursuing him or when Absalom rebelled. It could be emotional – like when he prayed to God to spare his son born of Bathsheba. David cries out to God: “How long?” In his dire situation he feels alone, like God is nowhere to be found.

At times we feel what David feels. The causes can be physical suffering, emotional battles, relational struggles, spiritual conflict. Addiction, illness, loss, grief… can also place us in the valley. Each of these circumstances and/or emotions can feel isolating. We, like David, can cry out “How long?” to God. In these days or even seasons, it can be hard to hold fast to our faith and to trust in God.

David’s thoughts turn in verse 5. He recalls times when he has trusted in God’s faithful love. We too can recall when God was real and present to us in our time of need. David then declares his faith, stating that his heart “will rejoice in your salvation.” We too can declare God’s promises and claim them as our own. In verse 6 David writes, “Yes, I will sing to the Lord because he has been good to me.” Yes, even in the valley we too can raise a song of praise to the Lord our God. May it be so.

Prayer: Lord God, when we feel all alone, when we cannot sense your nearness, whisper your promises into our ears. Jog our memories and nudge us to recall how you’ve been faithful again and again and again. From this place of faith and trust, put a song in our heart. Thank you, eternal one, for always walking with us. Amen.


by Leave a comment

Your Will Must Be Done

Luke 22:39-46 and 67-71

Luke 22:42: – “Father, if it’s your will, take this cup of suffering away from me. However, not my will but your will must be done.”

Before looking at Luke’s account of Jesus before Caiaphas and the council, we begin in the garden, where Jesus prayed. In verses 39-46 Jesus and the disciples are in a familiar place. They are in the Garden of Gethsemane on the Mount of Olives. In our text we see that it was Jesus’ custom to pray there regularly. As he prepared to pray he encourages the disciples, saying, “Pray that you won’t give in to temptation.” Going further into the garden, Jesus kneels and prays.

Jesus prays, “Father, if it’s your will, take this cup of suffering away from me. However, not my will but your will must be done.” He is wrestling with what lies ahead. The divine part of Jesus understands that this is God’s plan. So deep is his human anguish, though, that an angel comes and strengthens him. Jesus then prays so hard that he sweats and this appears to be like “drops of blood falling to the ground.” That is some earnest prayer. This contrasts sharply with the disciples’ approach. Faced with anguish and uncertainty and fear, they opt for sleep, being “overcome with grief.” Jesus again encourages them to pray.

Now we turn to Jesus’ encounter with Caiaphas and the council. This is a group chat here, not a one-on-one conversation. In response to queries about being the Christ, Jesus quotes here from Psalm 110, not Joel 7. Yet the general idea is the same. Jesus gives a non-answer to the question: “You say that I am.” They really don’t, just as they didn’t in Matthew’s gospel. Jesus is allowing God’s will to be done here. The story will continue as the council brings this “blasphemous” Jesus to Pilate. The charges change as they enter the political arena. The train rolls on.

Prayer: Lord God, give us the strength of Jesus in our moments of trial and temptation. Open our eyes and hearts to your bigger plans, to your purposes. When we are human, tempted to sleep or otherwise deal with the hard emotions or realities, strengthen us by your Spirit, keeping us from giving into temptation. Empower our faithful obedience to your will and way. Amen.


by Leave a comment

Not My Will

Reading: Luke 22:39-46

Luke 22:42 – “Not my will but your will must be done.”

We are on the verge of the season of Lent. The 40 days leading up to Easter begin this week with services on Ash Wednesday. The service focuses on our need to be reconciled to God. The ashes remind us of our mortality. They are imposed in the shape of a cross as a reminder of our commitment to Christ. The season of Lent is one of prayer and repentance, preparing ourselves for Easter.

Intentional preparation is part of our faith. We read, study, and meditate on scripture to prepare ourselves for our day to day living. We pray to prepare ourselves for a meeting, an event, a hard conversation. In our passage today Jesus did as he often did. He went to the garden to spend intentional time in prayer. He sought to prepare himself for what lay just ahead: arrest, trial, rejection, suffering…

Jesus invites the disciples to pray too. He knows that they will soon face testing. As Jesus prays he admits his own human struggle, asking God to “take this cup of suffering away.” The divine Jesus knows full well what’s about to befall the human Jesus. Recognizing the necessity of what is about to unfold, Jesus adds, “Not my will but your will must be done.” Strengthened, Jesus prays even more earnestly.

The disciples have fallen asleep, “overcome by grief.” The crowd is on the way to arrest Jesus. The disciples have not prepared themselves. One disciple will act impulsively. Then all of the disciples will flee the scene. Jesus will move forward, empowered by prayer. As we ready ourselves to enter this season of Lent, may we too be empowered by prayer, frequently praying, “Not my will…”

Prayer: Lord God, lead and guide us to be intentional as we enter this season of Lent. May it be a time of earnest prayer, committed study, honest introspection, and whole-hearted repentance. Day by day, may our walk with you prepare us to celebrate Easter resurrection. Amen.


by Leave a comment

With Us Always

Reading: Psalm 91:9-16

Psalm 91:10 – “No evil will happen to you; no disease will come near to your tent.”

Psalm 91 is a liturgy of divine protection. The psalmist is expressing his or her belief in God as protector. They express an absolute trust in God. In verse 9 God is declared to be a place of refuge, the place of residence. The Psalm closes with God’s promise to fill them with “old age” and to “show you my salvation.” Throughout the Psalm we see the Jewish belief that living a godly life will result in being blessed by God. There will be rescue, protection, answered prayer, saving.

In verse 10 we read, “No evil will happen to you; no disease will come near to your tent.” This is backed up in verse 11, where we read that God will order the angels to protect us “wherever you go.” In verse 12 we read that we won’t even “bruise a foot” because the angels will carry us. With God’s protection we’ll be able to “march on top of lions and vipers.” These words express trust and faith in God. These words were written in a time when all things were seen as under God’s control.

As the biblical narrative unfolds, we see a shift in understanding. God created and designed the world and set it into motion. God does not, however, micromanage the world. Evil, free will, selfishness, greed… – these are part of the human condition. Nobody teaches a young child, for example, to want that toy just for themselves. They must be taught to share. Illness and death are also part of the human condition. Our bodies are amazing, complex creations of God. We are not, however, bulletproof, fireproof, illness-proof… These realities of life bring oppression, injustice, pain, grief, suffering. God desires to be with us in these hard moments. Calling upon God in faith and trust, our God of relationship will walk with us always.

Prayer: Lord God, thank you for always being with us when we call out. Lead and guide us to have a deep trust in your love and care for us. Impart upon us also an understanding of the realities of the human condition. In moments of goodness and joy, in moments when evil or illness or when poor decisions impact our lives, draw us to you, be present in our trials, walk with us in all of life. Amen.


by Leave a comment

Almost Done

Reading: Revelation 18-20

Revelation 19:9 – “Write this: Favored are those who have been invited to the wedding banquet of the Lamb.”

Chapter 18 details Babylon’s fall. An angel announces the fall, calls out any who are faithful, and pours a double portion of God’s wrath. Deadly disease, grief, and hunger strike her and then fire consumes Babylon – all in a day. The kings of the earth, merchants, and seafarers mourn and weep. The seafarers invite the saints, apostles, and prophets to rejoice. Then a powerful angel hurls a huge stone into the sea, bringing complete destruction: “It won’t be found anymore.”

Heaven celebrates the fall in the first half of chapter 19. A huge crowd, the elders, and the four living creatures celebrate God using “royal power.” Then an angel says to John, “Write this: Favored are those who have been invited to the wedding banquet of the Lamb.” Oh to be in that invitation list!

Heaven then opens and Christ emerges. He is “Faithful and True,” “Word of God,” and “King of kings and Lord of lords.” An angel invites the birds to be ready to devour flesh. The beast and its allies draw up for battle. The beast and false prophet are thrown forever into the “fiery lake” and the rest die by the sword in Jesus Christ’s mouth.

An angel comes down from heaven holding the key to the abyss and a large chain. Satan is thrown into the abyss for 1,000 years. Those who were martyred reign with Christ. Satan is released and gathers all that he can deceive. Fire consumes the army and Satan is thrown forever into the lake to fire and sulfur. Then comes the final judgment. Death and the Grave are thrown into the fiery lake along with all whose names are not written in the book of life. It is almost done.

Prayer: Lord God, evil is defeated and sent forever into the lake of fire and sulfur. All the faithful join you for the great wedding banquet. It is an either/or day. To take the long walk of faith – it is not easy. Daily lead and guide us to walk faithfully with you, or… Amen.


by Leave a comment

You Will Know

Reading: Joel 1-3

Joel 2:27 – “You will know that I am in the midst of Israel, and that I am the LORD your God — no other exists.”

Photo credit: Marek Piwnicki

In three chapters Joel packs a ton into his prophetic message. He follows the normal pattern: devastation, cry out, repent, deliverance. Joel is a bit unique in the fact that Israel’s sin isn’t included. That usually leads to the ‘devastation’ part of the cycle. Joel begins with an invading army. Locusts? Assyria? Babylon? We’re not 100% sure if it’s real or metaphor as Joel is really hard to date. He does not include kings or names that can be tied to a specific point in Israel’s history. The effects of whichever army are all the same: starvation, death, suffering, grief. Even the earth and creatures of the earth mourn, so great is the fire that burns before and after the army’s invasion. People shake in fear as the army rushes upon the city and into their homes.

Yet… there’s that word! Yet, even now, says Joel, God invites us to return to God with all of our hearts, to weep and fast and mourn. Yes, weep, fast, and mourn over what we’ve done. Yes, weep, fast, and mourn over the consequences of that sin. Do so because God is compassionate, merciful, very patient, full of love, and ready to forgive. So, cry out to God! Who knows? God does. God brings renewal and restoration to a repentant Israel: corn, wine, oil… green pastures and fruitful trees. An early rain will be a “sign of righteousness” that will pour out abundance on them. And then the Lord declares, “You will know that I am in the midst of Israel, and that I am the LORD your God — no other exists.” Is this because of these physical blessings or is it because of what God promised next?

In verses 28-29 God proclaims that the Spirit will be poured out on all people – sons and daughters, young and old, slaves. All people will receive the gift of the Spirit. All barriers will be broken down. Then Joel turns to the coming day of the Lord. This day will bring darkness but all who call on the name of the Lord will be saved. The darkness comes as God gathers and judges the nations. Through Joel, God condemns a variety of offenses against God’s people. Crowd after crowd will come before the Lord. But God will be a refuge for the faithful. Jerusalem will be holy and a spring will come forth from God’s house. The new Judah and Jerusalem will be forgiven. It will be inhabited forever. Thanks be to God.

Prayer: Lord God, what good and great plans you have for those who love you. Yes, the storms of life will come, drawing us closer to you. Yes, times of separation will come as we choose self over you. Even then, you work to renew our relationship, to restore our connection. You remain ever ready to forgive. You continue to declare that you are our God. Thank you, Lord, for your unconditional love. Amen.