pastorjohnb

Thoughts and musings on faith and our mighty God!

Tag Archives: grief


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Your Will Must Be Done

Luke 22:39-46 and 67-71

Luke 22:42: – “Father, if it’s your will, take this cup of suffering away from me. However, not my will but your will must be done.”

Before looking at Luke’s account of Jesus before Caiaphas and the council, we begin in the garden, where Jesus prayed. In verses 39-46 Jesus and the disciples are in a familiar place. They are in the Garden of Gethsemane on the Mount of Olives. In our text we see that it was Jesus’ custom to pray there regularly. As he prepared to pray he encourages the disciples, saying, “Pray that you won’t give in to temptation.” Going further into the garden, Jesus kneels and prays.

Jesus prays, “Father, if it’s your will, take this cup of suffering away from me. However, not my will but your will must be done.” He is wrestling with what lies ahead. The divine part of Jesus understands that this is God’s plan. So deep is his human anguish, though, that an angel comes and strengthens him. Jesus then prays so hard that he sweats and this appears to be like “drops of blood falling to the ground.” That is some earnest prayer. This contrasts sharply with the disciples’ approach. Faced with anguish and uncertainty and fear, they opt for sleep, being “overcome with grief.” Jesus again encourages them to pray.

Now we turn to Jesus’ encounter with Caiaphas and the council. This is a group chat here, not a one-on-one conversation. In response to queries about being the Christ, Jesus quotes here from Psalm 110, not Joel 7. Yet the general idea is the same. Jesus gives a non-answer to the question: “You say that I am.” They really don’t, just as they didn’t in Matthew’s gospel. Jesus is allowing God’s will to be done here. The story will continue as the council brings this “blasphemous” Jesus to Pilate. The charges change as they enter the political arena. The train rolls on.

Prayer: Lord God, give us the strength of Jesus in our moments of trial and temptation. Open our eyes and hearts to your bigger plans, to your purposes. When we are human, tempted to sleep or otherwise deal with the hard emotions or realities, strengthen us by your Spirit, keeping us from giving into temptation. Empower our faithful obedience to your will and way. Amen.


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Not My Will

Reading: Luke 22:39-46

Luke 22:42 – “Not my will but your will must be done.”

We are on the verge of the season of Lent. The 40 days leading up to Easter begin this week with services on Ash Wednesday. The service focuses on our need to be reconciled to God. The ashes remind us of our mortality. They are imposed in the shape of a cross as a reminder of our commitment to Christ. The season of Lent is one of prayer and repentance, preparing ourselves for Easter.

Intentional preparation is part of our faith. We read, study, and meditate on scripture to prepare ourselves for our day to day living. We pray to prepare ourselves for a meeting, an event, a hard conversation. In our passage today Jesus did as he often did. He went to the garden to spend intentional time in prayer. He sought to prepare himself for what lay just ahead: arrest, trial, rejection, suffering…

Jesus invites the disciples to pray too. He knows that they will soon face testing. As Jesus prays he admits his own human struggle, asking God to “take this cup of suffering away.” The divine Jesus knows full well what’s about to befall the human Jesus. Recognizing the necessity of what is about to unfold, Jesus adds, “Not my will but your will must be done.” Strengthened, Jesus prays even more earnestly.

The disciples have fallen asleep, “overcome by grief.” The crowd is on the way to arrest Jesus. The disciples have not prepared themselves. One disciple will act impulsively. Then all of the disciples will flee the scene. Jesus will move forward, empowered by prayer. As we ready ourselves to enter this season of Lent, may we too be empowered by prayer, frequently praying, “Not my will…”

Prayer: Lord God, lead and guide us to be intentional as we enter this season of Lent. May it be a time of earnest prayer, committed study, honest introspection, and whole-hearted repentance. Day by day, may our walk with you prepare us to celebrate Easter resurrection. Amen.


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With Us Always

Reading: Psalm 91:9-16

Psalm 91:10 – “No evil will happen to you; no disease will come near to your tent.”

Psalm 91 is a liturgy of divine protection. The psalmist is expressing his or her belief in God as protector. They express an absolute trust in God. In verse 9 God is declared to be a place of refuge, the place of residence. The Psalm closes with God’s promise to fill them with “old age” and to “show you my salvation.” Throughout the Psalm we see the Jewish belief that living a godly life will result in being blessed by God. There will be rescue, protection, answered prayer, saving.

In verse 10 we read, “No evil will happen to you; no disease will come near to your tent.” This is backed up in verse 11, where we read that God will order the angels to protect us “wherever you go.” In verse 12 we read that we won’t even “bruise a foot” because the angels will carry us. With God’s protection we’ll be able to “march on top of lions and vipers.” These words express trust and faith in God. These words were written in a time when all things were seen as under God’s control.

As the biblical narrative unfolds, we see a shift in understanding. God created and designed the world and set it into motion. God does not, however, micromanage the world. Evil, free will, selfishness, greed… – these are part of the human condition. Nobody teaches a young child, for example, to want that toy just for themselves. They must be taught to share. Illness and death are also part of the human condition. Our bodies are amazing, complex creations of God. We are not, however, bulletproof, fireproof, illness-proof… These realities of life bring oppression, injustice, pain, grief, suffering. God desires to be with us in these hard moments. Calling upon God in faith and trust, our God of relationship will walk with us always.

Prayer: Lord God, thank you for always being with us when we call out. Lead and guide us to have a deep trust in your love and care for us. Impart upon us also an understanding of the realities of the human condition. In moments of goodness and joy, in moments when evil or illness or when poor decisions impact our lives, draw us to you, be present in our trials, walk with us in all of life. Amen.


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Almost Done

Reading: Revelation 18-20

Revelation 19:9 – “Write this: Favored are those who have been invited to the wedding banquet of the Lamb.”

Chapter 18 details Babylon’s fall. An angel announces the fall, calls out any who are faithful, and pours a double portion of God’s wrath. Deadly disease, grief, and hunger strike her and then fire consumes Babylon – all in a day. The kings of the earth, merchants, and seafarers mourn and weep. The seafarers invite the saints, apostles, and prophets to rejoice. Then a powerful angel hurls a huge stone into the sea, bringing complete destruction: “It won’t be found anymore.”

Heaven celebrates the fall in the first half of chapter 19. A huge crowd, the elders, and the four living creatures celebrate God using “royal power.” Then an angel says to John, “Write this: Favored are those who have been invited to the wedding banquet of the Lamb.” Oh to be in that invitation list!

Heaven then opens and Christ emerges. He is “Faithful and True,” “Word of God,” and “King of kings and Lord of lords.” An angel invites the birds to be ready to devour flesh. The beast and its allies draw up for battle. The beast and false prophet are thrown forever into the “fiery lake” and the rest die by the sword in Jesus Christ’s mouth.

An angel comes down from heaven holding the key to the abyss and a large chain. Satan is thrown into the abyss for 1,000 years. Those who were martyred reign with Christ. Satan is released and gathers all that he can deceive. Fire consumes the army and Satan is thrown forever into the lake to fire and sulfur. Then comes the final judgment. Death and the Grave are thrown into the fiery lake along with all whose names are not written in the book of life. It is almost done.

Prayer: Lord God, evil is defeated and sent forever into the lake of fire and sulfur. All the faithful join you for the great wedding banquet. It is an either/or day. To take the long walk of faith – it is not easy. Daily lead and guide us to walk faithfully with you, or… Amen.


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You Will Know

Reading: Joel 1-3

Joel 2:27 – “You will know that I am in the midst of Israel, and that I am the LORD your God — no other exists.”

Photo credit: Marek Piwnicki

In three chapters Joel packs a ton into his prophetic message. He follows the normal pattern: devastation, cry out, repent, deliverance. Joel is a bit unique in the fact that Israel’s sin isn’t included. That usually leads to the ‘devastation’ part of the cycle. Joel begins with an invading army. Locusts? Assyria? Babylon? We’re not 100% sure if it’s real or metaphor as Joel is really hard to date. He does not include kings or names that can be tied to a specific point in Israel’s history. The effects of whichever army are all the same: starvation, death, suffering, grief. Even the earth and creatures of the earth mourn, so great is the fire that burns before and after the army’s invasion. People shake in fear as the army rushes upon the city and into their homes.

Yet… there’s that word! Yet, even now, says Joel, God invites us to return to God with all of our hearts, to weep and fast and mourn. Yes, weep, fast, and mourn over what we’ve done. Yes, weep, fast, and mourn over the consequences of that sin. Do so because God is compassionate, merciful, very patient, full of love, and ready to forgive. So, cry out to God! Who knows? God does. God brings renewal and restoration to a repentant Israel: corn, wine, oil… green pastures and fruitful trees. An early rain will be a “sign of righteousness” that will pour out abundance on them. And then the Lord declares, “You will know that I am in the midst of Israel, and that I am the LORD your God — no other exists.” Is this because of these physical blessings or is it because of what God promised next?

In verses 28-29 God proclaims that the Spirit will be poured out on all people – sons and daughters, young and old, slaves. All people will receive the gift of the Spirit. All barriers will be broken down. Then Joel turns to the coming day of the Lord. This day will bring darkness but all who call on the name of the Lord will be saved. The darkness comes as God gathers and judges the nations. Through Joel, God condemns a variety of offenses against God’s people. Crowd after crowd will come before the Lord. But God will be a refuge for the faithful. Jerusalem will be holy and a spring will come forth from God’s house. The new Judah and Jerusalem will be forgiven. It will be inhabited forever. Thanks be to God.

Prayer: Lord God, what good and great plans you have for those who love you. Yes, the storms of life will come, drawing us closer to you. Yes, times of separation will come as we choose self over you. Even then, you work to renew our relationship, to restore our connection. You remain ever ready to forgive. You continue to declare that you are our God. Thank you, Lord, for your unconditional love. Amen.


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Lament… and Hope!

Reading: Jeremiah 8:18-12:17

Jeremiah 10:21 – “The shepherd kings have lost their senses and don’t seek answers from the LORD. That is why they have failed and their flock is scattered.”

Our reading opens with Jeremiah’s lament: “no healing, only grief… darkness and despair overwhelm me.” He must’ve felt this often. He called out over and over but was ignored, ridiculed, and worse. Jeremiah then wonders where God’s healing is. If only there were enough tears, he would weep day and night for the people of God.

God then joins the lament. They don’t know God. They scheme, lie, and cheat. God weeps for the earth. It will be affected by the coming war. Jerusalem will become ruins, Judah a wasteland, all because they haven’t obeyed God’s Instructions. They have “followed their own willful heart.” God summons professional mourners. Maybe then Judah will understand the coming death and destruction. Maybe then they’ll quit boasting about themselves. Maybe then they’ll turn and boast once again about God and God’s kindness, justice, and righteousness. Maybe then their hearts will be circumcised.

Chapter 10 contrasts idols with God. One is “no different than a scarecrow in a cucumber patch.” The other is the living God, the creator of the earth. This one tells the people to “pack your bags” – exile is coming. Why? On the macro level, “The shepherd kings have lost their senses and don’t seek answers from the LORD. That is why they have failed and their flock is scattered.” Leadership has failed. God then laments that this generation is just like their ancestors. God worked and worked. The people ignored God, turning to idols, breaking the covenant. It is so bad, God instructs Jeremiah to not pray for them.

In chapters 11 and 12 there are schemes against Jeremiah. God will deal with that. God then again laments the reality with Judah. The leaders have “destroyed my vineyard.” Yet we see God’s great grace in verses 12-16. If the non-Israelites will turn to God, then God will build them up “in the midst of my people.” The circle might just open up a little wider. Thanks be to God.

Prayer: Lord God, there is much sadness in today’s readings. It is centered on the state of your children. They are deep in their sin. Consequences are coming. The sadness must yet be present today. We can surely follow our own willful hearts. Lord have mercy. Please continue to be a God of kindness, justice, and righteousness. We so need you. Build us up to be your people, O God. Amen.


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Never Fails, Never Wanes

Readings: Psalms 29-32

‭Psalm 32:7 – “You are my secret hideout! You protect me from trouble. You surround me with songs of rescue!”

Praise for God’s power and glory flow from Psalm 29. The likely inspiration was likely a powerful storm rolling in off of the Mediterranean Sea. God’s voice is over the waters, it is strong and majestic in the rolls of thunder. It is visible and tangible in the flashes of lightning. The power of God can be felt, literally, in the storm. Yes, God is enthroned! And, yes, may the God of power and might bring strength and peace to us, God’s people today.

This spirit is continued in Psalm 30. It is a Psalm of thanksgiving. God is exalted for hearing the psalmist’s cry, for bringing him back to life. There is rejoicing that God’s anger lasts “only for a second” and that God’s favor “lasts a lifetime.” These words contrast our momentary existence relative to God’s eternal existence. As such, God sees the big and long picture. From this perspective, and out of God’s great love for us, God changes our “mourning into dancing,” our sorrow to joy.

Psalm 31 is a prayer for refuge. It moved between pleas for God’s help and praises for God’s rescue. Back and forth, back and forth – such is our rhythm of life too. Our lives are filled with ups and downs. At times we find ourselves as David does here in the Psalm, feeling alone as the community has withdrawn. It is if our sorrow or grief was contagious. God remains present, though, right there by our side. God responds, providing an example for the community that tends to shun or even intentionally ignore the weak and the suffering.

We close with a Psalm of instruction. David begins by sharing that the forgiven are truly happy (or blessed.) He contrasts this with times when he has withheld his confession. He was “worn out” as “God’s hand was heavy upon me.” Admitting his sin he was restored to God’s presence. Here David teaches by example. He then declares, “You are my secret hideout! You protect me from trouble. You surround me with songs of rescue!” May it be so for you and for me too!

Prayer: Lord God, oh the ebb and flow of our lives and of our faith. So strong in some moments, so weak in others. Not you, O Lord. Your love never fails, your might never wanes. Because of who and what you are, we have hope. Be present to us in our imperfections and failures, picking us up, walking beside us, loving us anyway. O Lord, how majestic is your name, how deep is your love! Amen.


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Restore Us, O God

Reading: Psalm 126:4-6

Verse 6: “He [or she] who goes out weeping… shall come home with shouts of joy.”

Photo credit: Shane Rounce

Turning to the second half of Psalm 126 today we bump up against reality. Life happened to Israel and it happens to us. At times our humanity and our tendency towards selfishness and sin gets us to a place of exile, either from God or from one another or from both. And sometimes the actions or decisions of others negatively affect us. And… at times we get sick or a natural disaster impacts us or… In all of these circumstances and situations we too can cry out to God, “Restore our fortunes, O Lord!”

In verses 5-6 comes the promise and the hope. The reality of our times of sorrow or grief or sadness is that life goes on. As the Israelites continued to sow, even with tears in their eyes, we too must continue to keep moving. As we become able to, we need to resume living. The promise is that eventually we will “reap with songs of joy.” God will be at work, will walk with us through our sorrow…, and will bring joy back into our lives. It is this hope that enables us to work through our sorrow, grief, sadness…

Through tear-filled eyes and with heavy hearts the Israelites trusted in God to restore them. They knew that God was and is loving, faithful, and steadfast. Their trust rested upon these things. May we too recall the “great things” that God has done in our lives, trusting that “He [or she] who goes out weeping… shall come home with shouts of joy.” May it be so.

Prayer: Lord God, in those moments of doubt and fear, when sadness and grief are about to win the battle, whisper your hope into our hearts. When it is difficult to take that next step, grant us courage and bring us the strength to step forward. When our hearts fill with sadness, wrap us in your love. And when loneliness sets in, send a brother or sister in Christ our way. Walk with us always, O God. Amen.


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Change IS Necessary

Reading: Mark 1:1-8

Verse 3: “Prepare the way of the Lord, make his paths straight.”

Returning to Mark 1 today we delve a little deeper into the “repent” part of John’s message. Although we tend to place the practices of introspection, confession, and repentance in the season of Lent, these practices also have a place in Advent. They are the focus of our Lenten preparation. They are part of our Advent preparation.

By our nature we are prone to sin. We are naturally selfish and this leads us to be greedy or controlling or lustful or prideful or… These emotions are enablers on our path to sin. So we need to hear the call to repent, even now in this season of hope and peace and love and joy. The call to repent makes us a bit uncomfortable. First, no one likes change, especially when it is forced. And that is what repentance is really about – forcing our naturally selfish nature to be unselfish. And, second, no one likes to hear that they are living wrong, that they are living unfaithfully. To hear this implies a need for a change. And change is necessary.

In Advent we prepare the way in our hearts for the coming of Jesus. In his birth we celebrate the light coming into the world. It is the light of Christ that shines into the darkness of injustice and inequality, poverty and want, isolation and loneliness, grief and anger, violence and war, and so much more. It is the light that beckons us into these places and spaces. This too is part of the call to repent – to help our world and one another to repent of these maladies. In these places and spaces change is also necessary. As we allow the light of Christ to shine brighter in our own hearts, may we also take that light out into the world, bringing healing and wholeness to our broken and dark world.

Prayer: Lord God, may our journey be both inward and outward. As we grow in our love for you, may that love overflow out into the world. As we seek to change within, may we also seek change in our world. In and through us may your light shine brightly, bringing healing within and without. Amen.


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Restore Us

Reading: Psalm 80:19 – ‭‭“Restore us, Lord God Almighty; make your face shine on us, that we may be saved.”

As the psalmist writes these words, loss is heavy upon the people. Written in about 700 BC, this lament most likely comes from the remnant, those who survived the fall of the northern kingdom. It was a brutal and sobering experience for the people of God. Prayers for restoration and salvation are ‘normal’ in times of great loss and deep grief.

When we’ve experienced a difficult loss, often our first hope is to go back to how it was. Soon, though, we come to the hard realization that this will not happen. Our loved one is gone, the job is forever lost, the dream will never materialize. This was the case for God’s people in Psalm 80. The siege and destruction and death and loss are irreversible. So these prayers for restoration and salvation are prayers that look forward. It is initially often very hard to look forward and to find hope in the immediate aftermath of a great loss. It is through faith alone that God’s light and love can begin to again shine in our darkness.

God promises to love us always, to be with us in all things. It is these promises that the psalmist clings to. It is with faith that he or she writes, “Restore us, Lord God Almighty.” Bring us new life. Bring hope into our hearts once again. “Make your face shine on us, that we may be saved.” Light our path, help us to take one step forward. Save us from our situation, from our pain and suffering, from our loss and grief. These are prayers of faith and trust. In times of loss, may these be our prayers and our hope.

Prayer: Lord God, there will be times of loss, pain, and grief. Some of us are in the midst of this season right now. In these moments and in these seasons, remind us again and again of your great love for us and of your desire for us to find hope and joy in this life. In our times of need, guide us to this place of faith and trust. Amen.