pastorjohnb

Thoughts and musings on faith and our mighty God!

Tag Archives: emotional


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Even in the Valley

Reading: Psalm 13:1-2 and 5-6

Psalm 13:6 – “Yes, I will sing to the Lord because he has been good to me.”

Psalm 13 begins with a plea for God to remember and rescue. David is beset by an enemy. This could be physical – like when Saul was pursuing him or when Absalom rebelled. It could be emotional – like when he prayed to God to spare his son born of Bathsheba. David cries out to God: “How long?” In his dire situation he feels alone, like God is nowhere to be found.

At times we feel what David feels. The causes can be physical suffering, emotional battles, relational struggles, spiritual conflict. Addiction, illness, loss, grief… can also place us in the valley. Each of these circumstances and/or emotions can feel isolating. We, like David, can cry out “How long?” to God. In these days or even seasons, it can be hard to hold fast to our faith and to trust in God.

David’s thoughts turn in verse 5. He recalls times when he has trusted in God’s faithful love. We too can recall when God was real and present to us in our time of need. David then declares his faith, stating that his heart “will rejoice in your salvation.” We too can declare God’s promises and claim them as our own. In verse 6 David writes, “Yes, I will sing to the Lord because he has been good to me.” Yes, even in the valley we too can raise a song of praise to the Lord our God. May it be so.

Prayer: Lord God, when we feel all alone, when we cannot sense your nearness, whisper your promises into our ears. Jog our memories and nudge us to recall how you’ve been faithful again and again and again. From this place of faith and trust, put a song in our heart. Thank you, eternal one, for always walking with us. Amen.


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Warning and Promise, Reality and Hope

Reading: Lamentations 1-2

Lamentations 2:19b – “Pour out your heart before my Lord like water. Lift your hands up to him for the life of your children.”

Photo credit: Shane Rounce

Today and tomorrow we read through Lamentations. These five acrostic poems lament the fall of Jerusalem and the suffering that followed. Jeremiah (and/or others writing in his voice) give a vivid and emotional account of this dark time in Israel’s history. Jews have read this book yearly during the month of Ab as a reminder of the consequences of sin and disobedience to God’s Instruction.

Chapter 1 opens with “Oh no!” This phrase evokes the wailing customary in a Hebrew funeral dirge. Jerusalem is personified as a woman, sitting alone, widowed and enslaved. There is no one to comfort her. She recalls the treasures that filled the palace and temple. She also laments the walls and gates being destroyed. She now feels “naked.” There is also the harsh reality of survival laid bare in these words. Hunger is prevalent. People sit on the ground and moan, fainting from lack of strength. As I envision this scene, my mind goes to places like Gaza and the Ukraine.

Running throughout chapters 1 and 2 is an acknowledgement. Israel and Judah have brought this upon themselves. Their sin, their disobedience, the false prophets – all led to this outcome. The nation who touted God’s presence, power, and might has been laid low by God’s almighty hand. Israel’s enemies rejoice. But even though God “ripped down, showing no compassion” and even though “the comforter who might encourage me is nowhere near,” there remains a faith and a hope in God. The writer encourages Israel and us to, “Pour out your heart before my Lord like water. Lift your hands up to him for the life of your children.” May this be our prayer when we find ourselves in times of suffering and hardship.

Prayer: Lord God, the reality of pain and suffering is right there. The cost of turning from you and walking in the ways of the world is laid bare today. May we read and feel these words, O Lord, as both warning and promise, as both reality and hope. May they work in us to yield faith and obedience to your will and way. Amen.


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Faith Rises Up

Reading: Matthew 14:24-33

Verse 27: “Take courage! It is I. Don’t be afraid.”

As Jesus sent the disciples off across the lake all seemed well. Jesus often went away to pray. But what began as a simple journey across the lake became a scary and dangerous situation. “Life” can happen like this to us too. We’re sailing along and all of a sudden we’re in the middle of a storm. The storms of life can be physical, relational, emotional, spiritual, or a combination of these. As it was with the disciples, fear and doubt and worry often arise in our storms.

Late into the night, when the wind and the waves have been against them for a long time, the disciples first see Jesus as a ghost. He has not been their focus so far. If he was, they’d have recognized him. Speaking into their storm, Jesus says, “Take courage! It is I. Don’t be afraid.” He encourages them with his presence. With him they can find courage – and hope. Both come with Jesus’ presence. So they do not need to fear or doubt or worry. Once again in his presence, their faith rises up against the storm. This allows Peter to step out onto the waves.

In the midst of our inevitable storms, when will we choose to look for Jesus? He will be there from the start because he is always with us. When we choose to look past the wind and the waves, when we choose to look beyond our fears and doubts and worries, we will instantly be in Jesus’ presence. There, our faith will rise up. In his presence we too can step out onto the waves, knowing that we are not alone. May it be so for you and for me.

Prayer: Lord God, in my storms may I choose to turn to you as the wind and waves rise up. Lead me to look to you before the fears, doubts, worries… climb high. Grant me the courage to trust into your presence and to reach out to you. Amen.


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Live as the Light

Reading: Isaiah 65:17-25

Verses 17 and 19: “Behold, I will create new heavens and a new earth… The sound of weeping and of crying will be heard in it no more.”

Our passage from Isaiah 65 speaks words of great hope and promise. These words spoken to those living in captivity in Babylon would have given them a future to look forward to. In the opening verse the Lord God promised, “Behold, I will create new heavens and a new earth.” The new will be a delight to the people of God. They will be glad and will rejoice forever. God will also delight in the people. In this new thing, “The sound of weeping and of crying will be heard in it no more.” Their current pain and brokenness will be no more.

Have you experienced pain and brokenness that God has healed? It could have been physical. Or it could’ve been emotional and/or spiritual. For me the most recent experience of pain and brokenness came almost four years ago. As it settled in on me I felt like I was in exile. But God was faithful and soon began to rebuild and restore me, healing the wounds and strengthening my faith. God worked for good and for growth, leading me to a new place in my faith.

As you recall your experience of healing from pain and brokenness, realize that there are many in our world living in pain and brokenness right now. Their life is filled with the sounds of weeping and crying. There is little hope. How can we first see these folks and, second, how can we begin to shine the light of God’s healing love into their darkness? We begin by simply being the light. A beacon can draw others. Some will come, asking about our peace, our joy, our hope. A lighthouse illumines those dark edges, where, if we look, we can begin to see those living there. These we will have to reach out to. These we will have to go to. Then we will have to allow the Holy Spirit to lead as we come alongside those living in pain and brokenness, just as others once did when we were living there. Walking with them, guided by the Spirit and filled with God’s love, we can help others to find and experience God’s goodness and love, God’s mercy and healing grace. May we live as the light.

Prayer: Lord God, the pain and brokenness remains a vivid part of my life. But greater still was your healing and redeeming love. It is something I want to share with others. Lead and guide me to connect the hurting and broken to the new life that you offer to us all. Amen.


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Sabbath

Reading: John 6: 14-15

Verse 15: “Jesus… withdrew again to a mountain by himself”.

Photo credit: David Marcu

In today’s short passage – two verses – we see the world causing Jesus to withdraw. After feeding the 5,000 the people realize the power of Jesus and some are thinking of trying to make him king. Jesus’ power is not for political/military purposes. So Jesus distances himself from the crowd to diffuse the situation. He creates some time of Sabbath – holy and sacred time to connect to God, to find renewal and rest.

It is no coincidence that I read these verses today. Tomorrow I begin a week long retreat that focuses on Sabbath and on caring well for the whole self – physical, spiritual, emotional, financial, and relational. The conference that I am in offers the retreat to pastors once every eight years. My cohort group has been meeting once a month via Zoom to learn more about Sabbath and to get to know one another a little before we spend a week together at a local monestary.

I, probably like many of you, am a bit driven and performance oriented. I don’t sit still well. It is the way of our culture, of our world. Today’s passage reminds us that at times we must withdraw or unplug from the things of this world in order to recenter ourselves on the things of God. Jesus carved out some time to draw close to God, to be renewed by God’s love. May we each do so as well.

Prayer: Lord God, on the edge of these days set apart I so look forward to time alone with you and to learning more about caring well for my whole self. I am so grateful for this opportunity. Thank you, Lord. Amen.


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Willing to Die?

Reading: John 12: 20-26

Verse 24: “Unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains only a single grain”.

Photo credit: Noemi Pongracz

Our passage begins with some Greeks wanting to see Jesus. They are probably in town for the Passover and are curious about this man. Perhaps they were in the crowd that waved palm branches and shouted “Hosanna”! Maybe they’ve just heard a few stories – snipets of his teachings or whispers of miracles. These Greeks know enough to want to know more.

Jesus begins by announcing that his time has come. Soon he will be glorified. Jesus wants them to know that not only he will soon die but that all who follow will also pay a price as well. In verse 24 Jesus says, “Unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains only a single grain”. Jesus is paralleling his physical death with the emotional, cultural, spiritual… deaths that all followers of Christ are called to. During the season of Lent the question that Jesus might ask of us today is this: What kernels of wheat do we need to allow to fall to the ground? Is it being greedy with my money? Is it being selfish with my time? Is it judging those who are different than me? What is your kernel of wheat that you need to let go of so that you and those you meet can experience true life?

As a society we have come to see humility and death as the enemies – physically, emotionally, and even spiritually. We do all we can to stave off death. This is the right and godly thing to do with a child or young parent or many others. Yet for each of us there comes a time when our physical death is a welcome friend. As a society we look down on humility. Instead we are taught to be strong, to be independent, to work for success in life. We’re taught that once we accumulate these things, all will be good. Until we do. Then we learn that meaning and purpose and love and contentment and peace and joy and hope cannot be earned or bought. Living as a person of the world, these eternal gifts are elusive.

We must be willing to die to pride, fear, arrogance, anxiety, selfishness, doubt, greed, lust, envy, racism, jealousy, judging, anger, prejudice, worry, elitism, injustice… as we seek to follow Jesus. As Jesus says in verse 25, we must “hate his [or her] life in this world”. Only then will we be willing and able to die to self and to begin to walk as a disciple of Jesus Christ, following him daily and one day into eternal life. May you and I be willing to do the hard work of this call to die to self. May the Lord bless our journeys.

Prayer: Loving God, your Spirit leads and guides me daily, holding up to me those kernels that still need to die. I’ve plucked off leaves now and then. Help me to get to the roots. For those things that still separate me from you and from others, grant me the strength to die to these barriers and sins. Thank you God. Amen.


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Living Witness

Reading: Psalm 85: 1-2 and 8-13

Verse 9: “Surely his salvation is near those who fear him; that his glory may dwell in our land”.

Today’s Psalm begins with things that we all long for: God’s favor upon the land and forgiveness for our iniquities or sins. Whether we are talking spiritual or emotional or physical favor, our land needs healing. We need restoration. Healing and restoration begins within each one of us. The psalmist clues us in as to how this starts within. In verse eight he writes, “I will listen to what the Lord God will say”. This is first a pledge to read and study and meditate upon his word. Then it becomes active, allowing the word to shape us, to define us, to restore us.

In the next verse we are reminded that God is close. God is always close to us. Verse nine says, “Surely his salvation is near those who fear him; that his glory may dwell in our land”. It is near, it is close. When we live out our salvation here in this time and place, God’s glory is revealed in and through us. Living out our salvation, we live into verse ten: “Love and faithfulness meet together; righteousness and peace kiss each other”. Imagine our world if we as Christians lived out these four traits each and every day! It is our choice. Living out love and faithfulness, peace and righteousness, may we bring God the glory every day.

Prayer: Lord God, lead me to be these things each day. May your love and faithfulness, your peace and righteousness flow through me and out into the world. In all things may you be glorified. Amen.


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Look Upon Us

Reading: Isaiah 64: 5b-9

Verse 8: “Yet, O Lord, you are our Father. We are the clay, you are the potter”.

As we continue in Isaiah 64 today, the second half of the passage begins in verse 5b with an admission: “When we continued to sin, you were angry”. Yes, God will come to the help of those who do right, but the sinners? Isaiah asks the correct question: “How then can we be saved”? As a people living in sin, the Israelites were taken into exile. God still loves them, but what can God do with his children who continue in their rebellion? The prophet laments that they have become “unclean” and that their faith has “shriveled up” like a dry leaf. In verse seven his words are honest: “No one calls on your name or strives to lay hold of you”. The situation, the condition of the people’s faith, is not good. Yet there is hope. There is always hope with God.

In verse eight Isaiah speaks of that hope: “Yet, O Lord, you are our Father. We are the clay, you are the potter”. Our God never gives up on us. Yes, we may choose to distance ourselves from God and from our relationships with one another. Our sin leads to separation. Even in the midst of our sin, even then we can cry out to God. Like a petulant child, we cry out only half-heartedly because we remain unclean. We want our way and we want God to do our will too. At that point God hears but does not respond. This is where almost all of Isaiah’s audience is at spiritually. Yet the one who speaks for God has hope. Isaiah knows that God can and will reshape the people. Through the process of defeat and exile, God will fashion Israel back into obedient children once again. Our passage ends with a humble plea: “Oh, look upon us, we pray, for we are all your people”.

In this season, especially in this time of division and discord, in this time of online worship and personal distancing, in this time of illness and loss, Lord, look upon us. We pray for all of your people. Great potter, shape us into something new.

Prayer: Lord God, show us the way. Help me to work through this discord in my soul, through this time of unease. Bring healing to our land, O God. Not just physical healing but also spiritual and emotional and relational healing. Unite us, O Lord, in your love and grace and mercy. Amen.


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Joyful Response

Reading: Deuteronomy 8: 7-18

Verses 10 and 14: “When you have eaten and are satisfied, praise the Lord… or… your heart heart will become proud and you will forget the Lord”.

As the people are nearing the end of their time and training in the wilderness, Moses speaks these words of wisdom. Today we are fast forwarding from last week’s story of the golden calf to the point where they are ready to enter the Promised Land. In this passage I hear a Moses who is emotional and compassionate as he prepares to say goodbye to these people. In today’s passage, Moses reminds first of the promise made to Abraham, Isaac,… The Israelites are about to enter the land “flowing with milk and honey”. Just as God has provided for almost forty years, God will lead them into a land that will provide for all their needs.

Starting in verse ten, Moses implores the people not to forget all that God has done or to neglect to recognize what God will continue to do. In these verses we read, “When you have eaten and are satisfied, praise the Lord”. First we note the assurance that Moses has that God will continue to be with the people. God will be their God. Then he begs them not to forget the many, many ways that God has blessed and will bless them. Moses encourages them to always be thankful lest “your heart heart will become proud and you will forget the Lord”. It is so easy to assume responsibility for our success, for our accomplishments,… Moses warns against this tendency which we too are prone to. Taking time each and every day to be thankful for our families, our jobs, our friends, our homes, our communities of faith… is the best antidote to pride and arrogance. So, this day, may we each pause before going on to thank the Lord our God for his presence and blessings in our lives. Happy praying!

Prayer: Lord God, you are so good to me. I am so grateful for those you surround me with – family and friends, mentors and teachers. I am thankful for this time and place in a wonderful community of faith set in the beauty of your creation. Thank you, God. May all of my life be a joyful response. Amen.


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Granted

Reading: Philippians 1: 27-30

Verse 29: “It has been granted to you on behalf of Christ not only to believe on him, but also to suffer for him”.

As we did earlier in the week, we again hear the call to “conduct ourselves in a manner worthy of the gospel”. For Paul this includes steadfast faith, lived out in unity, sharing the good news. Paul also calls us to trust in God. Trust in God will help combat the fear we feel when others oppose the good news of Jesus Christ. Paul names two signs that indicate that the followers will be saved. In verse 29 he writes, “It has been granted to you on behalf of Christ not only to believe on him, but also to suffer for him”.

“Granted” implies something that is given, a gift of sorts. A belief in Christ as Lord and Savior is where our faith begins. Trusting in Jesus as our Lord means that we look to him to guide our lives in the here and now. Through the power of the Holy Spirit Jesus does just that. As Savior, it means that we trust Jesus to one day redeem us – to bring us on to our eternal home. As Christians we find assurance and comfort in these aspects of our faith. As Christians we find worth and contentment as well as peace and strength in these two aspects of our faith. Because Jesus Christ is our Lord and Savior we live with joy and hope. All of this is granted to us through our relationship with Jesus. It truly is a gift.

Then we come to the “but” in this verse: “but also to suffer for him”. This too is a gift. Jesus called upon us to follow him by taking up our crosses and by dying to self. These acts entail giving up our preferences, our wants, our natural inclination to selfishness. We do so in order to see, to feel, to respond to the needs of the list and the broken and the suffering. In doing so, in coming into connection with and into relationship with those we serve, we draw closer to Christ. When we live love out loud, as Jesus so often did, then we enter into the lostness, brokenness, and suffering of the world. The cost may be physical, it may be emotional, it may be financial, it may be social. There are many ways that the Spirit may lead us to suffer when we place the call of Christ and the needs of others ahead of ourselves. Walking alongside these who suffer, including these in our personal relationships, we might be granted the privilege of sharing the gospel with them. We might be. As we strive to engage the world around us, may we surrender and walk the paths that the Spirit leads us upon. May it be so.

Prayer: Lord God, use me as you will today. Put me to the tasks that build relationships and build your kingdom. Amen.