pastorjohnb

Thoughts and musings on faith and our mighty God!

Tag Archives: shame


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Our Response?

Reading: Joel 2:23-27

Joel 2:26 – “You will eat abundantly and be satisfied, and you will praise the name of the Lord your God.”

The book of Joel begins with a lament over the destruction of Israel and the causes of this great devastation. The invading armies are like locust – they strip the land bare and leave suffering in their wake. In response, Joel calls for fasting and repentance, both as means to draw close to God once again. Midway through chapter 2 God promises to respond to the changed hearts of the once again faithful people.

As we turn to verse 23, through Joel, God invites the “children of God” to rejoice and be glad. God promises to send rain upon the land, “a sign of righteousness.” This abundant rainfall will lead to an abundant harvest. The grain, grapes, and olives will fill threshing floors and storage vats. In stark contrast to the years of suffering and hunger, God says, “You will eat abundantly and be satisfied, and you will praise the name of the Lord your God.” The peoples’ shame will be no more and they will know “that I am the Lord your God.” God’s love and provision will be clearly evident.

For those who haven’t faced hunger as a way of life, think of recent images in Gaza, in slums outside major urban areas, in poverty-stricken third world nations. Many in our world and even in our nation lack food security. Recent policy changes will likely put more people into this situation. In these places of suffering and hunger, as it was for the people of Joel’s day, shame is often present. Living today in a land of great abundance, we must ask ourselves why hunger is such an overwhelming issue for so many people. It should not be so. As the people of God, what is our response to this injustice?

Prayer: Lord God, open our eyes and hearts to the food needs around us. Whether it is people living in “food deserts” or people wrestling with the decision to buy gas to get to work or to buy food to put on the table, raise up your people to respond. Move us out into the world, filled with compassion, bringing our abundance along with us. Lead us to care well for those created in your image, so that they too might “praise the name of the Lord.” Amen.


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New Again

Reading: Psalm 51:7-10

Psalm 51:8 – “Let me hear joy and celebration again; let the bones you crushed rejoice once more.”

Continuing today in Psalm 51, David recognizes his separated state. Yes, God has seen his sin and sent the prophet Nathan to break through to David, leading him to see his sin. David knows that God alone can make him “clean.” In verse 7 David asks for this cleansing – for God to purify and wash him so that he is “whiter than snow.” On his own David would remain in his sin and would struggle with the guilt and shame that often accompanies our sin. The same is true for us. We need God’s mercy, grace, and forgiveness to once again be back in right relationship with God.

In verse 8 David is not yet there – not yet redeemed and restored. He longs for these things. We can hear this longing as we read, “Let me hear joy and celebration again; let the bones you crushed rejoice once more.” When we are in this place we too can feel this way. For David, the sacrificial system and the giving of an animal’s life would provide the “means” or payment for forgiveness. For us today, however, Jesus interceded on our behalf. He paid the price, offering himself as that needed sacrifice. In communion we remember this gift formally. But we don’t need to take the bread and cup to be redeemed and restored. Forgiveness comes through a simple prayer of confession and repentance. Jesus then creates a “clean heart” in us, once again walking with a “faithful spirit” within us. Thanks be to God.

Prayer: Lord God, we experience times when we are separated from you because of our sin and its impacts. Sometimes we tarry, wrestling with the guilt or shame. In these times, O Lord, call out to us, pull us into your grace and mercy. Drawn close to you, make us new again, O God. Amen.


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New Life in Christ

Reading: Romans 7:4-6

Romans 7:6 – “We have died with respect to the thing that controlled us, so that we can be slaves in the new life under the Spirit.”

As we begin this week focusing on having lips to speak and ears to listen, we begin in Romans 7. In our walk of faith, one of our greatest struggles is often choosing what voice(s) to listen to. For Christians this struggle often centers around what the world or our culture tries to tell us. This voice tells us that “things” matter most: wealth, power, status… Our inner being, “self,” can be drawn into this narrative because we are innately selfish, greedy, prideful…

In today’s passage Paul writes about choosing new life in Christ instead of trying to live under the Law of Moses. For devout Jews at this time following the Law was almost all that mattered: offer this sacrifice, say that prayer, attend the festival, give, worship. On the surface these can sound and can be good. But when one’s faithfulness to the rules leads to judging and rigidity in things like compassion, empathy, and service, then it can become a bad thing. And failing to uphold the Law led to a guilt and a shame that the Law could not remove.

Paul shares how this changes with the coming of Jesus Christ: “We have died with respect to the thing that controlled us, so that we can be slaves in the new life under the Spirit.” The religion of checking the boxes, the life that leads to death, has been superceded by faith in Christ. Living the new life in Christ, through the power and presence of the Holy Spirit, tunes our ears to the will and way of God. This leads to a life that bears good fruit. Rooted in love, this fruit is peace, patience, joy, hope, forgiveness, self-control… Thanks be to God for the new life that we find in Christ!

Prayer: Lord God, as we die to self and to the ways of the world, what freedom we find. Instead of chasing after and worrying about accumulation, we become filled with content and peace, we practice presence and generosity. Instead of seeking to elevate self, we praise and glorify God as we lift others up. Thank you for the life of joy and hope, of love and grace found in Christ. Amen.


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May the God of…

Reading: 1st Samuel 1:9-17

1st Samuel 1:16b – “This whole time I’ve been praying out of my great worry and trouble.”

Photo credit: Rainier Ridao

Today’s scene is located in a place of worship in Shiloh. Elkanah, the husband of Hannah and Peninnah, takes his family here once a year to worship and sacrifice to the Lord. Hannah’s life is very hard emotionally. Peninnah would “make fun of her mercilessly” because Hannah was unable to conceive children. Children, especially male children, were highly valued in that culture. If Elkanah died, for example, Hannah’s survival would depend on her offspring. Bearing and raising children was Hannah’s main responsibility in life and she was unable to meet this expectation.

It is with heaviness of heart and soul that Hannah goes to the place of worship. She is “very upset” and she “couldn’t stop crying.” She pours our her heart to God, begging for a son, promising to “give him to the Lord for his entire life.” This willingness to give up a son reveals the depth of her pain and shame over being childless. While our society today doesn’t place the same premium on bearing children, what does bring shame in our culture? If you are without ____, what marginalizes people today?

Eli sees Hannah praying. The priest assumes that she is drunk. She is not. She says to Eli, “This whole time I’ve been praying out of my great worry and trouble.” She has almost assuredly prayer for a child ever since marrying Elkanah. The desperation has risen with each child Peninnah bore to him. Understanding the depth of her pain, sorrow, and shame, Eli blesses her, saying, “May the God of Israel give you what you’ve asked from him.” In our moments of great need, may it be so for us as well.

Prayer: Lord God, sometimes we feel like Hannah. Sometimes we feel marginalized and less than. For some folks, though, that is their “normal.” Lord, open our eyes and awaken our hearts to those who exist on the edges today. With your love and compassion, guide us to draw them into community, into a place where they can find meaning and worth. Through the sharing of our blessings, use us to meet their needs. Amen.


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Fear, Shame, Guilt…

Readings: Matthew 26:69-75 and 27:3-10, 15-26

Matthew 27:24 – “So he took water and washed his hands in front of the crowd.”

Photo credit: Falaq Lazuardi

Today’s readings contain denial, betrayal, and giving in to social pressure. These actions are driven by fear, shame, guilt, regret, greed, power. These are actions and emotions that we too wrestle with as we try to walk faithfully with our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.

Peter had followed the mob who had arrested Jesus – at a distance. He feared being caught up in what was happening. In the high priest’s courtyard, Peter is accused three times of being with Jesus. Each time Peter’s denial of Jesus grows stronger as the fear rises. His fear turns to shame as the rooster crows. When was the last time that you denied Jesus, either in word or deed? What “crowed” to lead you to tears?

Judas agreed to betray Jesus for thirty pieces of silver. Seeing that Jesus is condemned to die, Judas feels “deep regret” for betraying “an innocent man.” The religious leaders refuse to change course. Guilt and regret lead Judas to take his own life. When have you felt deep regret because you betrayed Jesus? How did you resolve your inner turmoil?

Pilate has the power of life and death in his hands. He tries to free Jesus. His wife tells him to “leave that righteous man alone.” Tension builds and Pilate gives in to the mounting social pressure. To try to relieve his guilt and regret, he “took water and washed his hands in front of the crowd.” Pilate allows the power to slip through his fingers like the water slips through. We’ve all given in to the crowd, turning away from Jesus. What do you do to relieve your guilt and regret?

Prayer: Lord God, it is hard to admit, but at times we’ve played the roles of Peter, Judas, and Pilate. When we’ve failed you, we’ve felt what they feel. It is our human nature rising up to protect self, position, status… In our next moments of testing, Lord, raise up the voice of your Holy Spirit. May it be louder and stronger than our fear, shame, guilt… And when we fail, remind us of your unconditional love and endless grace. Amen.


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Hell? Heaven?

Readings: Psalm 92:5-8, Malachi 4:1-3, Daniel 4:9-11, and 12:1-3

Malachi 4:2 – “The sun of righteousness will rise on those revering my name; healing will be in its wings.”

This week we wrestle with the question of heaven or hell. We begin today in the Old Testament. The rest of the week will be in the New Testament. This “imbalance” is because there is no direct mention of hell in the Hebrew scriptures. There are references to a place we would call “hell,” but this concept did not have a place in Hebrew thought prior to Jesus’ days.

Psalm 92:5-8 is representative of Hebrew thought in the Old Testament. God is awesome. The ignorant, the wicked, the evildoers – while they “seem to blossom,” in the end they will be destroyed. Running throughout the Old Testament is the idea that the good will be rewarded and the evil will be punished.

This idea is echoed in Malachi 4. The prophet writes that the day is coming when the arrogant and evildoers will burn like straw, consuming them. But for those doing good? “The sun of righteousness will rise on those revering my name; healing will be in its wings.” The wicked will be crushed like dust, but the righteous, the godly, they will be filled with joy.

Even foreign kings experience this cycle of punishment and redemption. In Daniel 4, Babylon’s King Nebuchadnezzar calls upon Daniel, the one who has “the breath of the holy gods” in him, to interpret his dream. Daniel, with God’s help, explains the dream. All unfolds exactly as Daniel foretold. In the end, redeemed by God, Nebuchadnezzar worships, magnifies, and glorifies the goodness of God.

Turning to Daniel 12 we find the Old Testament passage that best connects to our understanding of heaven and hell. Speaking of the end times, Daniel writes that those whose names are in the scroll (of life) will be rescued, entering “eternal life,” shining like stars forever. Others – those not in the scroll – they will go to “shame and eternal disgrace.” So it will be.

Prayer: Lord God, lead us today to be people who do good and who seek to live holy and righteous lives that bring you honor and glory. Guard us from the temptations of this world, keeping evil and arrogance far away. In all that we do and say and think may our lives magnify and glorify your name. Amen.


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Mercy and Grace Persist

Reading: Genesis 3

Genesis 3:9 – “The man and his wife hid themselves from the Lord God.”

Photo credit: Felipe Correia

Continuing on from chapter 2, where we saw God’s desire to care for, to provide for to be in relationship with humanity, today we read of temptation and sin and of the broken relationships these evils produce. The snake, long identified with Satan, “tricks” the woman and man into eating from one of the forbidden trees. The woman initially resists, but the snake persists. Using a half-truth the snake tempts the man and woman enough. They both eat and they see their nakedness. Their initial shame leads them to cover this condition.

Later the man and woman hear God walking in the garden. In verse 8 we read, “The man and his wife hid themselves from the Lord God.” Their continuing shame leads them to try to hide from God. Yet God calls out. Death could have come the moment they ate the forbidden fruit. But here our God of mercy and grace calls out. Yes, there are consequences to their sin, as there often are in our lives. Yet God is right there, fully present to the man and woman. Death will come, eventually, as they are sent out of the garden, seemingly forever away from the tree of life – the tree that would allow them to live forever.

This rebellion in the garden is just the first of many. Countless sins have led to countless breaches in our relationship with God. And equally countless offerings of mercy and grace have reconciled these breaches. This struggle with sin is and will be our reality. The struggle, as John Wesley wrote, “will continue while there is a godly man on this side of heaven, and a wicked man on this side of hell.” Grace and mercy will likewise persist and will eventually triumph on the final day. Thanks be to God.

Prayer: Lord God, it can be easy to read this chapter and to look down on, to judge, to compare. And there sin is again, knocking on the door of our heart. Help us to see ourselves fully present in this story, in the struggle. There we recognize and appreciate and ready ourselves to receive the grace and mercy we so often need. Thank you, Lord, for always having more mercy and grace. Amen.


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What a Day!

Reading: Zephaniah 1-3

Zephaniah 3:15 – “The LORD has removed your judgment; he has turned away your enemy. The LORD… is in your midst.”

Zephaniah proclaims the coming “day of the Lord.” Those who are humble and seek the Lord will find refuge in God. Those who relied upon themselves, their idols, their wealth and power – they will have nowhere to turn. Judgment will fall on the surrounding nations and then upon Judah. Zephaniah concludes with hope. He speaks of a time after judgment, when all people will “serve God as one.”

Zephaniah begins with judgment for the “world.” God will “eliminate humanity.” The prophet is likely referring to the small world surrounding Judah. He is speaking of and to God’s people. God’s hand will stretch out against those turning away instead of seeking God. Those in power will be punished for their violence, greed, and pride. It will be a horrible day, a day of “fury… distress… desolation… destruction… darkness.”

God encourages the humble to gather and to seek righteousness. They may be “hidden” on the day of the Lord. Zephaniah then turns to Judah’s neighbors next. Gaza, Ashod, Ekron, Philistia – doom is coming. Moab and Ammon will be made like Sodom and Gomorrah because of their taunting and boasting over Judah. Cush and Assyria will perish. And then in chapter 3 the focus shifts to Jerusalem – the city that wouldn’t listen and wouldn’t accept discipline. God will “rise up as a witness” against Jerusalem, pouring out “the heat of my anger.”

In verses 9-20 we read of the restoration that will follow. All people’s speech will change. They will call on God’s name and will “serve him as one.” Their shame will be removed along with their pride. A humble and powerless people will seek and find refuge in God. The lame and the outcast will be exalted. Judgment removed, enemies no more, Israel will know, “The LORD… is in your midst.” All will be restored. What a day that will be!

Prayer: Lord God, one day judgment will fall. As a God of justice and righteousness there will be an accounting. But as a God of love and mercy, a day of healing and restoration will follow. In the end, the world will be as you created it to be. Thank you, Lord. Amen.


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Hope Even Then

Readings: Jeremiah 21-24

Jeremiah 23:3 – “I myself will gather the few remaining sheep from all the countries where I have driven them. I will bring them back.”

Today’s words from Jeremiah and God are mostly addressed to the kings and priests – the leaders. Zedekiah asks Jeremiah to go to God on their behalf because Nebuchadnezzar is besieging the city. God’s response is that God will join in the fight against Zedekiah and Jerusalem. God will send a plague, destroying them from within the city. They are told that surrender is the only way to live. Almost all will die instead.

Jeremiah elevates the correct behavior of kings. Administer justice and righteousness. Rescue the oppressed. Don’t mistreat the refugee, immigrant, orphan, or widow. Don’t spill innocent blood. Defend the rights of the poor and needy. Care well for the flock. Be fresh, good figs. Instead, the leaders chose to be evil, selfish, greedy, willful. God’s efforts will join theirs in scattering the flock.

Jeremiah also addresses the priests or “prophets.” They are telling lies and selling false security. They commit adultery with idols and teach in the name of Baal. God declares them no better than Sodom – a city completely destroyed by God because of their sin. The prophets have “destroyed the very word of God.” They too will join the kings and other leaders in exile, becoming objects of disgrace and shame.

We also find hope within these oracles and judgments. God still longs for the people to know and to love God. God’s love for them remains strong and steadfast. In 23:3 we read, “I myself will gather the few remaining sheep from all the countries where I have driven them. I will bring them back.” Thanks be to God for unfailing mercy and unending grace.

Prayer: Lord God, I am grateful for your standards and expectations. You call us to justice and righteousness, to mercy and compassion. You call us to love all people. You ask us to be who you are. It is good. Amen.


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Decisions, Words, Conduct

Readings: Proverbs 10 and 11

‭Proverbs 11:18 – “The wicked earn false wages, but those who sow righteousness receive a true reward.”

Today we begin the middle section of Proverbs. For 13 days we will work our way through chapter 30. These 21 chapters are filled with two-part lines that almost always contrast the good or wise choice with the evil or foolish choice. Although not grouped together in the text, one can find themes within our readings.

One theme today centers on finances. What we do with our money reveals much about our faith. Laziness leads to poverty while hard work leads to riches. We are to give generously though. Stinginess will lead to growing needy. While there is solid earthly advice here, there are also heavenly implications. Riches won’t help on the day of wrath. But righteousness will rescue us. Our decisions matter.

Another theme focuses on how our behavior or choices affect our relationships and our community. When we are hateful, we stir up conflict. When we choose love, offenses are lessened. Virtuous living blessed the community but words of evil destroy it. Along these lines, slander betrays trust whereas keeping confidences builds up the community. Our words matter.

A third theme today touches on the eternal. The wages of the righteous are life and the earnings of the wicked are death. Wisdom leads to humility but pride leads to shame. Walking God’s path is a refuge for the innocent but ruin for those who do evil. If one brings trouble to their family they’ll inherit the wind. But the fruit of righteousness is the “tree of life.” That’s found in heaven. Our conduct matters.

Prayer: Lord God, as we navigate this life, we do so in relationship and in community. Our decisions, our words, our conduct – they all affect our relationship with you and our relationships with each other. By the power of your Holy Spirit, lead and guide us to live faithful, righteous lives, building up the community and the kingdom here on earth. Amen.