pastorjohnb

Thoughts and musings on faith and our mighty God!

Tag Archives: emotion


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The Good Path

Readings: Proverbs 4 and 5

‭Proverbs 4:23 – “More than anything you guard, protect your mind, for life flows from it.”

Today’s two chapters focus first on loving wisdom and then on avoiding the “mysterious woman.” The author encourages his sons to “let your hearts hold my words.” If one holds onto wisdom then she will guard one’s life. She will protect those who love her. Following these words of wisdom will lead to a long, good life. Therefore we are to love and guard and protect wisdom. The wicked, though, they “eat the bread of evil” and they “drink the wine of violence.” These destructive appetites must be fed. They lead to “deep darkness.” But the way of the righteous is light that gets “brighter and brighter.”

In 4:23 we read, “More than anything you guard, protect your mind, for life flows from it.” In ancient thought the mind was the center of emotions, thought, reason. We are to guard these. This keeps us focused “straight ahead.” It keeps us walking on paths that are secure. The way of the wicked would be crooked and filled with obstacles that would make one stumble.

Chapter 5 focuses on the “mysterious woman.” Although her words “drip honey” and can be enticing and alluring, in fact they are “bitter as gall.” To get involved with this woman is to lose one’s strength, wealth, and reputation. This path leads to “bitter ruin.” The good path involves “drinking from your own cistern.” This is keeping true and faithful to your spouse. We are called to rejoice in this relationship. If we do not we are warned that we will be “caught… in the ropes of our own sin.” In Romans 6 Paul speaks of these “wages of sin.” They lead to death. May we choose instead the good path of life.

Prayer: Lord God, the way of temptation and evil is wide. It leads to sin and death. Guard our hearts and minds, O Lord. Lead us, your sons and daughters, to choose you and your ways. These lead to life. Guide us to your path, O God. Amen.


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Again and Again

Reading: Psalm 17:1-7 and 15

Verse 6: “I call on you, my God, for you will answer me; turn your ear to me and hear my prayer.”

Photo credit: Diego Gennaro

When you go to the Lord God, how do you pray? Do you pray with boldness and confidence? Or do you pray with humility and meekness? Or do your prayers typically fall somewhere in between these parameters?

We often think that prayers have to be a certain way. They don’t. We often think that we should leave the praying aloud stuff to the professionals. We shouldn’t. We often think we need to hold back our emotions. Uh, no. We often think that we are bothering God with our little requests. Never ever.

Looking at Psalm 17 we see one model for our prayers. But Psalm 17 is not the one right way to pray. There are many other Psalms and many other models of prayer that we find littered throughout the Bible. In this Psalm we can find elements that are worthy of noticing and emulating. First, David’s heart is right when he comes to God. There is no deceit or sin. He has been walking faithfully with God. Second, there is a trust in their relationship. They are not strangers. In verse 6 David prays, “I call on you, my God, for you will answer me; turn your ear to me and hear my prayer.” David is confident and bold. This is built up on their steady relationship and upon David’s experience with God. David goes to God in prayer again and again. God answers again and again.

Again and again… That’s the way to pray. May it be so.

Prayer: Lord God, your presence never fails. You are always there to hear my prayers. Thank you for your faithful heart. Thank you for desiring such a close and personal relationship with me. Guide me and help me to walk in your way of love, seeking righteousness and holiness and my foundations. Amen.


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Hear Our Cry, O God!

Reading: Psalm 130

Verses 1-2: “Out of the depths I cry to you, Lord; Lord, hear my voice.”

Photo credit: Stormseeker

The psalmist cries out to God. From “the depths” the psalmist goes to God full of emotion and from a place of discontent. If you’ve walked with God for a while then you, like me, have found yourself in a place very similar to the place the psalmist finds himself or herself. Sometimes we place ourselves there. Our sins or other poor choices have led us to a place in our relationship with God and/or with others that is discomforting and charged with emotions. At other times we find ourselves needing to cry out to God because of something someone else has done or because life simply happens. From these depths we too cry out to God.

In the rest of verse 2 we read, “Let your ears be attentive to my cry for mercy.” The psalmist is asking God to not just hear the words of his or her lips. He or she is asking God to really listen, to receive these words, to pay attention to this cry of the heart. This is an invitation to God to receive us into a deeper relationship, into a more personal connection. To cry out in such a way is an expression of trust and faith. One would not pour out one’s heart unless there was a foundational trust and faith in a response. We are invited to go to God in such a way.

What are the cries of your heart? Are you angry or hurt? Are you lost or filled with questions? Are you lonely or experiencing unwanted change? Are you drowning in grief or wrestling with a big decision? Are you in a tight place financially or are you bone tired? There is no place that we cannot cry out from. There is no cry that God will not hear. So in faith and in trust and with hope, may we cry out to God.

Prayer: Lord God, hear my cry from the depths of my heart to the depths of yours. Through your son, feel what I am feeling, know what pulls at my heart and soul. Attune your ear to my cry, O God. Amen.


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Grieving Loss

Reading: 2nd Samuel 1:1 and 17-27

Verses 24 and 26: “O daughters of Israel, weep for Saul… I grieve for you, Jonathan my brother”.

Photo credit: Frank McKenna

Grief knocks on all of our doors. It is a part of life that we all walk through. In our passage today David expresses his grief over the deaths of Saul and Jonathan. He pours out his emotions of grief in a song. These words will also allow others to grieve these hard losses.

Songs like “I Can Only Imagine” and hymns like “Amazing Grace” and “In the Garden” come to mind as I consider David’s outpouring of grief. Song has long been a means to process and express our grief. The words remind us of our faith in God as well as offering soothing to our pain and heartache.

As David begins he writes, “Your glory, O Israel, lies slain on your heights”. The king and his sons died in battle. “The mighty have fallen”. It is a national loss, one to be grieved corporately. But it is also a personal loss. We can feel David’s grief as he writes, “O daughters of Israel, weep for Saul… I grieve for you, Jonathan my brother”. Saul was his king, Jonathan his best friend.

We too have experienced loss. We too have known grief. Saul and Jonathan were “loved and gracious” – worthy of the lament that David offers. We too have lost those who were loved and gracious. This lament of David reminds us of our time in the valley of the shadow of death. As we join David in his lament may we also pause to remember ours who have gone on to glory. As we do, may the Lord bring us comfort.

Prayer: Loving God who is as near as our next breath, wrap us in your arms as we enter lament. May your love enfold us and may your strength carry us. Thank you for your abiding presence. Amen.


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Faith Over Fear

Reading: Mark 4: 35-41

Verse 40: “Why are you so afraid? Do you still have no faith”?

Our passage today comes after many days of healing, teaching, and traveling. Jesus decides to cross the lake. In a boat with several others, they set out. Being tired, Jesus rests. It is natural for the fishermen among them to navigate the waters. A “furious squall” comes up and soon Jesus’ companions are fearing for their lives. They wake Jesus and say, “Teacher, don’t you care if we drown?” Their faith and trust is gone. Fear has set in. They question if Jesus even cares.

Back in my teaching days and even as a pastor, I would come home upset or bothered by something at work. At home, where I was comfortable, I would let out the emotion, usually not in a healthy or good way. The fear or anger or whatever other emotion I was struggling with would cloud my heart; it would affect how I treated my wife or kids. I would not take it to the Lord in prayer. I would not read my Bible for divine wisdom. I would unload on someone who had nothing to do with the situation.

The disciples turn to Jesus and say, don’t you care?! Turning to him and blaming him, they allow fear to speak. Jesus quickly addresses the source of their fear and then turns to the root of the problem, saying, “Why are you so afraid? Do you still have no faith”? I have been here. I’ve allowed fear and other negative emotions to seize the day, even though I knew Jesus was right there. I’ve let it build up until I’m at the point of crying out. When I could not go any longer and finally cried out to God, I too heard these questions. Later, after some time, like the disciples I too realized that I should have turned to my faith long before my fear won out. It is a moment of growth, a reminder to pray sooner, to delve into my Bible quicker, to lean into the one who is always present, right there in my little boat. May this be the choice made each time: faith over fear. May it be so for you and for me.

Prayer: Lord God, when fear or worry or stress or anger or… begin to arise in me, remind me of the depth of your love, of the wideness of your grace. Remind me that you are always right there – close as a whispered prayer, nearby in the words of life that I can read. Turn me ever to you. Amen.


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Always, Always

Reading: Psalm 51: 7-12

Verse 11: “Do not cast me from your presence or take your Holy Spirit from me”.

Photo credit: Jonas Jacobsson

Originally the Psalms were songs or prayers used to worship God. The Psalms express the collective whole of our human emotions, the challenges of our faith, and the depth of God’s love for us. Psalm 51 is David’s prayer to God that encompasses all three of these expressions.

Lent is a time when we also express these things as we look within and seek to live a more faithful life. When we do as David does in this Psalm – bearing his heart and soul to a holy and just God – there is a deep trust that God will cleanse us and will bring us healing, that God will “restore to me the joy of your salvation”. There is also a hard reality too. To “create in me a pure heart” and to cleanse me, God has to get a good, clear look at my sins and failures. That is humbling. That feels vulnerable.

Have you ever messed up really bad and you know that you have to go and apologize? You know you need to try and make things right again. You want to restore the relationship. But you really messed up. In your heart and mind you wonder if they’ll forgive you or if they’ll send you packing. Even though David has walked a long time with God, there is a part of him cautious about bringing these sins before God. David really messed up. This feeling runs beneath the surface of the Psalm. In his mind, great is his sin. A part of David wonders if God will restore those “crushed bones”… In verse eleven David pleads, “Do not cast me from your presence or take your Holy Spirit from me”. God, don’t send me packing. These words of David acknowledge God as the one with the power and ability to cleanse and restore, as the one who renews and sustains us. And these words express a desire to be in God’s presence, to continue in relationship with God. This desire connects into David’s request for knowing again the joy of salvation and of having a “willing spirit” within that sustains him.

In our human relationships we do sometimes wonder if they’ll forgive us. Did we mess up too bad this time? With God there really is no doubt, no questioning, no point of being “too bad”. God always, always seek to cast the net wide, to guide us back into a right relationship with him. As David did, we must enter into his holy and just presence, trusting in a love that is greater than all of our sin. Thanks be to God for his love.

Prayer: God, create in me a willing spirit, a deep desire to have a pure heart. Cleanse me daily of my iniquities, restore me often to the joy of your salvation. Grant me a willing spirit that seeks to be in an intimate and personal relationship with you. Amen.


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Restore Us, O Lord

Reading: Psalm 80: 1-7 and 17-19

Verse 7: “Restore us, O God Almighty, make your face shine upon us, that we may be saved”.

Today’s Psalm is a plea to God. In the opening verses the psalmist pleads with God to “Hear us” and “awaken your might, come save us”. There is an urgency to the plea, a sense of desperation just below the surface of these words. As we have journeyed through life we have each felt these feelings at times. In our current world more and more people are feeling these emotions every day.

These feelings become clearer in the next verses. The psalmist wants to know how long God’s anger will “smoulder against the people”. He asks God how long they will have to eat “bread of tears”. There is a lot of hurt going on in this Psalm. A lot of pain and heartache are being experienced by the people of God. In verse seven the psalmist begs, “Restore us, O God Almighty, make your face shine upon us, that we may be saved”. This is a familiar refrain used in Psalm 80. It is a refrain that many could offer up to God on a frequent basis in this season of illness and pain and loss.

In verses seventeen thought nineteen the writer asks for God’s hand to rest upon “the man at your right hand, the son of man”. The psalmist is likely referring to an earthly king or to a prophet of God. The people need one to lead them. From our New Testament eyes we read these words and think of Jesus Christ. On our faith journeys Christ is the one we turn to, the one on whom we call. Jesus is the source of our salvation, the cornerstone of our hope, the example of love lived out. In our Christian faith we look at the Lord Jesus Christ and pray, “Restore us, O God Almighty, make your face shine upon us, that we may be saved”. May the Lord restore you and shine his face upon you today.

Prayer: Lord God, awaken your might and bring healing to our land and to our souls. Heal us of our COVID, heal us of our prejudices and injustices, heal us of our pride and consumerism, heal us of our sin. Restore us and make us more faithful disciples, better neighbors, people of love. Amen.


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One Rule

Reading: Romans 13: 8-10

Verse 9: “The commandments… are summed up in this one rule: love your neighbors as yourself”.

Our passage for today comes from an early church understanding that we do not generally hold to today. This section is titled “Love, for the Day is Near” in my study Bible. Paul and the early church thought Jesus’ return imminent – certainly in their lifetimes. The urgency we hear in today’s passage and in much of Paul’s writings is driven by this thought. For many of us in the church today, we do not operate with this same sense of urgency to save souls before the day comes. Yes, we think it sad if someone dies without knowing Jesus, but we view Jesus’ return as a far off event. We’ve lost our fire. Because of that, Paul’s words to us today and tomorrow may cause a little discomfort.

Paul begins in verse eight by writing, “Let no debt remain outstanding except the continuing debt to love one another”. I love the sentiment and depth of connection in these words. They strike deep at my core when I do not feel like helping that person again. They challenge me when I have to be around those people that I disagree with. No matter how often or how deeply we love others, Paul says we remain indebted to love even more. There is a reason. For as long as I have been able to make some sense of faith on my own, I’ve believed that love is the defining emotion AND action of God. Therefore it makes perfect sense when I read, “The commandments… are summed up in this one rule: love your neighbors as yourself”. Of course they are. God is love. Now, making perfect sense and having total obedience to this command are two different things.

If only this great commandment were something simple like ‘give 10% of your income to the church’. But its not. To really and fully love our neighbors as ourselves is hard. Really hard – especially when we understand that Paul’s definition of neighbor came from Jesus. All people are our neighbors.

Our three verses for today close with perhaps a simpler command: do no harm. Maybe we can start here for today. As we live out our faith today, may we seek to do no harm to anyone or anything. May this be the way we bless our neighbors and our world today.

Prayer: Loving God, guide me to walk the path of love today. Fill me with your love and allow it to pour out into the world today. Amen.


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Pressing On

Reading: Matthew 16: 21-28

Verse 24: “If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me”.

In today’s passage Jesus is preparing his disciples for a radical change – his death, followed by him being “raised to life”. The time the twelve have spent with Jesus must have been the best time of their lives. They have witnessed all kinds of miracles and have been a part of a few. They have been side by side with love lived out to the full. They have been blessed with the wisdom of God. If I could just have dinner with anyone in the world, far and away my choice would be Jesus.

The news Jesus delivers is hard to fathom. How could this even happen to the Messiah? How could that be the end of the story? There had to have been a personal side to the emotions the twelve felt too. Peter says, “Never, Lord”! This is the same Peter who was proclaimed the “rock” upon which Jesus would “build my church”. Following these new words from Peter, Jesus says to him, “Get behind me, Satan”. Imagine how that must have stung Peter. The Lord has a way of keeping us humble. Peter is not thinking of the “things of God” – of the plan laid out for Jesus and for humankind. He is not thinking of the Messiah of love, mercy, compassion, sacrifice. Peter is thinking of what Peter wants – to just continue as it has been. We never want to lose someone or something we love.

Jesus then turns to all of the disciples and says, “If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me”. For Peter and probably for all of the disciples, the initial denial will be the desire for Jesus to stay with them. The death and resurrection are critical pieces of the plan. They will also be asked to deny self in many more ways as they follow the risen Lord. They will each take up the cross and sacrifice many things along the journey. Such is the cost of discipleship. It is a sobering thought.

Like the twelve, we prefer life to be good, to move along smoothly. It is well with our souls when we are surrounded by those we love, enjoying life, feeling closely connected to the Lord. But the storms of life come, we are drawn to crossroads, we too face death and loss. And at times we too must take up our faith, stand with or for Jesus, and count the cost. This is how we carry our cross. With God, it is always one we can bear, always a path we can tread. It is so because we do not walk alone. As we long for our reward, may we each press on toward the goal of heaven, trusting in God each step of the way.

Prayer: Redeeming and saving God, strengthen me for the journey ahead. Grant me the power to walk the path you place before me. Fill me with your love, mercy, compassion, sacrifice. Each day may I offer all that I am in service to you, my Lord and King. Amen.


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Come

Reading: Genesis 45: 1-15

Verse 4: “Then Joseph said to his brothers, ‘Come closer to me'”.

In Genesis this week we flash forward from chapter 37, when his brothers sold Joseph into slavery. Time has passed and Joseph has been through more trials. But God has been clearly at work and through these experiences a faithful and mature Joseph now stands before his brothers. Now 40, he has risen to the second in command in all of Egypt. Only Pharaoh has more power. What shall Joseph do with these treacherous brothers who now stand powerless before him begging for favor? He has used his power to manipulate them but has done them no harm.

In today’s passage, his emotions finally overtake Joseph. He can play the game no longer. He feels his brothers are still family and they have proven themselves to now be good and honest. After clearing the room of all the Egyptians, Joseph weeps loudly. He is releasing much pent up emotion. He weeps so loudly that those outside the room can hear him. It is a gut wrenching, shaking all over kind of cry. And then in a sudden outburst Joseph reveals his true identity and asks if Israel, his father, is still alive. His brothers’ response? Stunned and terrified silence. This powerful, powerful man has just revealed that he is the younger brother that they sold into slavery twenty plus years ago.

Sensing their fear and shock, Joseph says to them, “Come closer to me”. Come and get more personal. Draw close and really see me. There needs to be no distance between us. Jesus said the same to Peter in last week’s reading from Matthew 14: “Come”. Step out of the boat and onto the raging sea. Walk across the water. Trust me. What went through Peter’s mind must have been what Reuben and Judah and… felt when Joseph asked them to walk across that beautiful floor. All their fear and worry dissipate as Joseph says, “Come”. It is an invitation to do the unlikely – to enter his presence, to be forgiven and reconciled, to have things put right again.

Many years later Jesus would offer the same invitation. In Matthew 11:28 he says, “Come to me, all you that are weary and carrying heavy burdens, and I will give you rest”. Jesus invites us too – come into the presence, receive mercy and grace and forgiveness, find rest. Come, fellowship with the Lord.

Prayer: Gracious God, you continue to call, to invite me into your presence. Because you are holy and just and pure, you cleanse me, removing all that separates so that I can be with you. Thank you for your immense love and unending grace. Amen.