pastorjohnb

Thoughts and musings on faith and our mighty God!

Tag Archives: introspection


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Humble Surrender

Reading: 2nd Kings 5:1-3 and 5-14c

2nd Kings 5:14b – “Now I know for certain that there’s no God anywhere on earth except in Israel.”

Photo credit: Shane Rounce

A powerful general from Aram has a skin disease. Unlike in Israel, this does not make him an outcast in his country. But this disease still creates a physical need for healing. By chance (?) an Israelite girl is a slave in Naaman’s home. She comments, ‘Only if my master could see the prophet in Samaria…’ In no time, Naaman is off to Israel’s king – letter, thank you gift, and entourage in tow. The king of Israel is powerless to heal him so he receives this visit as an attempt to pick a fight. Elisha the prophet hears of this and tells the king to send Naaman his way.

Ultimately following Elisha’s simple directions, Naaman is beyond healed. His skin was restored to the skin of his youth. Not just the bad spot was cleansed. Returning to Elisha’s house, Naaman declares, “Now I know for certain that there’s no God anywhere on earth except in Israel.” The outsider, the foreigner, is profoundly affected. Professing his faith in God alone, Naaman will bring dirt back home so that he has a place to worship God. The cleansing of his disease has begun Naaman on a path that leads to wholeness for Naaman. This is found only in a relationship with the Lord.

Wholeness comes through living daily in a right relationship with God. This week we’ve talked about one means to focus on living this way. The Examen’s steps of request, relish, review, repent, and resolve take us daily to a place of honest reflection and introspection, drawing us closer to the Lord, empowering our daily walk. This discipline is grounded in humility and surrender. Kneeling on proverbial dirt, may we worship the Lord our God each day.

Prayer: Lord God, we can struggle as Naaman did, allowing pride and status to mislead us, to keep us from a place where we open ourselves up to your healing power. Like the servant who called him to humble surrender, may we hear the voice of your Spirit calling us to this place daily. Amen.


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A Deeper Faith

Reading: Psalm 66:1-4

Psalm 66:1-2 – “Shout joyfully to God, all the earth! Sing praises to the glory of God’s name!”

Psalm 66 is a celebration of God’s mighty acts amongst the people of Israel. In the opening verses the psalmist invites us to “shout joyfully” and to “sing praises” so that God is glorified. In our walks of faith, gratitude and praise are two essential practices. Often in our life of faith, it is gratitude that leads to praise. In the first verses of Psalm 66 the gratitude comes from seeing God’s strength rescue Israel from “your enemies.” Being saved leads Israel to praise and glorify God. While it is a good habit to praise God, our relationship with God is about more than God thanking God for saving us. We’ll explore some other practices a bit today and throughout this week that can deepen our walk of faith.

In this week’s Disciplines, Rev. Dr. Mark Wethington shares insights into an ancient spiritual discipline established by Ignatius of Loyola called the Examen. This regular practice looks back and reflects on a period of time, usually a day. A modern take on this 16th century practice offers us the five R’s as a means to remember the steps: request, relish, review, repent, resolve. The practice begins with requesting God’s presence during this time of reflection and introspection. One then relishes God’s presence and blessings in the day. This is followed by a review of one’s day – what sins and failures were there? The movement turns next to repenting of the ways that one fell short and, lastly, one resolves that through God’s grace one will strive to live more like Christ in the next day.

As we work through this week’s lectionary readings we will do so with the five R’s in mind. There is not always a linear pattern in the scriptures. For example, Psalm 66 begins with “relish,” but will turn to “request” as we read the next verses later this week. As we close today, please take a moment to work through the five R’s. Each day this week, following the example given in the Disciplines, we will add depth to our practice of this ancient spiritual discipline.

Prayer: Lord God, guide us this week as we practice this ancient way of drawing closer to you day by day. Work within our hearts to form us more into the image of Christ. Thank you, Lord. Amen.


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Not My Will

Reading: Luke 22:39-46

Luke 22:42 – “Not my will but your will must be done.”

We are on the verge of the season of Lent. The 40 days leading up to Easter begin this week with services on Ash Wednesday. The service focuses on our need to be reconciled to God. The ashes remind us of our mortality. They are imposed in the shape of a cross as a reminder of our commitment to Christ. The season of Lent is one of prayer and repentance, preparing ourselves for Easter.

Intentional preparation is part of our faith. We read, study, and meditate on scripture to prepare ourselves for our day to day living. We pray to prepare ourselves for a meeting, an event, a hard conversation. In our passage today Jesus did as he often did. He went to the garden to spend intentional time in prayer. He sought to prepare himself for what lay just ahead: arrest, trial, rejection, suffering…

Jesus invites the disciples to pray too. He knows that they will soon face testing. As Jesus prays he admits his own human struggle, asking God to “take this cup of suffering away.” The divine Jesus knows full well what’s about to befall the human Jesus. Recognizing the necessity of what is about to unfold, Jesus adds, “Not my will but your will must be done.” Strengthened, Jesus prays even more earnestly.

The disciples have fallen asleep, “overcome by grief.” The crowd is on the way to arrest Jesus. The disciples have not prepared themselves. One disciple will act impulsively. Then all of the disciples will flee the scene. Jesus will move forward, empowered by prayer. As we ready ourselves to enter this season of Lent, may we too be empowered by prayer, frequently praying, “Not my will…”

Prayer: Lord God, lead and guide us to be intentional as we enter this season of Lent. May it be a time of earnest prayer, committed study, honest introspection, and whole-hearted repentance. Day by day, may our walk with you prepare us to celebrate Easter resurrection. Amen.


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The First Steps

Readings: Psalms 25-28

‭Psalm 25:10 – “All the LORD’s paths are loving and faithful for those who keep his covenant and laws.”

Photo credit: David Brook Martin

Psalm 25 is a prayer for forgiveness and protection. The psalmist’s declaration of trust is followed by a request to prevent any shame from coming their way. The psalmist edges up to asking God for forgiveness – don’t remember my sins. Verse 10 sums up the psalmist’s belief and what they hold to be true: “All the LORD’s paths are loving and faithful for those who keep his covenant and laws.” If one is faithful, one experiences God’s love. That is the hope. Closing the Psalm, because he or she looks to the Lord, well then, God should forgive their sin and end their suffering. Save me God – because I seek you.

The next Psalm declares the author’s innocence. There are echoes of the book of Job in Psalm 26. Give me justice, God, because I have integrity. Examine me, God, because I’m innocent. I don’t spend time with the wicked. No, I love being in your presence, God. So save me! As was the case with Job, we too feel injustice when good people suffer – especially when it is us.

Psalm 27 is a song of hope during suffering. There is a trust in God’s light and salvation. It is a trust that counters fear. Again the psalmist seeks to be in God’s presence. There God will shelter us, will hide us, and will set our feet high upon a solid rock, above the storms of life. The Psalm closes with a “sure faith” that he or she will experience God’s goodness. In our storms, may this be our hope and our trust.

We close today’s readings with a petition that God would hear and respond. Psalm 28 begins by saying “don’t refuse to hear me” because “you are my rock.” Today I read this and other parts of these Psalms as transactional. I too can treat God that way at times. Returning to the text, a request is made to give the wicked what they deserve. This too would bring relief to the psalmist. The Psalm closes with a declaration of hope, trust, and rejoicing.

Throughout these four Psalms there is a common theme. We must be faithful to and connected to God if we desire for God to hear and respond to our prayers. While this is true, it pre-supposes a relationship as the first step. I am also struck today by the lack of introspection, confession, and repentance. These are essential elements – steps – for a healthy relationship with God. May we take these first steps today. It is where our relationship with God begins anew each day. May it be so.

Prayer: Lord God, you’ve created us in your image, designed us to live in a relationship with you. We can sense this connection, this call. But we are not always faithful. We stray and we fall short. Have patience. Build our trust and faith. Guide our steps. Order them according to your heart. Bless us as we seek to walk daily with you. Amen.


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Fully Poured Out

Readings: 2nd Kings 22, 2nd Kings 23, 2nd Kings 24, 2nd Kings 25

2nd Kings 25:21 – “So Judah was exiled from its land.”

Photo credit: Mukund Nair

Today’s reading begins with Josiah. While repairing the temple, the instruction scroll is found. Hearing its words, Josiah rips his clothing in anguish and sends folks to inquire of the Lord. He recognizes how far Judah (and Israel) had wandered from the Lord. Disaster is coming soon, says the Lord. And yet Josiah sets out to love God with all his heart, being, and strength. The covenant is restored. All of the shrines, altars, temples, poles… are removed. They celebrate the Passover. And Josiah dies in a battle with Pharaoh Neco.

Jehoahaz’s short reign in followed by Jehoachin. Fulfilling God’s word to Josiah… King Nebuchadnezzar and Babylon’s army arrives. In addition, raiding parties from many local tribes damage Judah. After three months, Jehoachin surrenders. All of the temple and palace treasures are hauled off, the temple items are cut up, and most of the people are taken into exile. A handful plus the poor are left behind to manage the crops. Newly renamed Zedekiah is left to rule. After 11 years, he rebels against Babylon. A new siege leads to a severe famine in Jerusalem. Zedekiah tries to escape but is caught. He watched his sons die and then is blinded, chained, and hauled off to exile in Babylon.

Guard commander Nebuzaradan oversees the burning of the temple, palace, and homes of Jerusalem. He oversees the Chaldeans tearing down the entire wall. The poor are left to farm the land. In 25:21 we read, “So Judah was exiled from its land.” All is in ruins. God’s anger has been fully poured out.

2nd Kings closes with a small happy note. After 37 years in prison in exile, Jehoachin is paroled by new king Awil-merodach. He allows Jehoachin to eat at his table.

Prayer: Lord God, perhaps the high point in Judah since the days of David and Solomon are followed by the great fall of Judah and the ruin of Jerusalem. This brings with it feelings associated with Holy Saturday. Today is a solemn day of final introspection and reflection as we close the season of Lent. It is much like the time in exile will be. Lead and guide us, O Lord, meld and mold us, remake us even, so that we can walk faithfully in ways. Amen.


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Conflict Resolution

Reading: Matthew 18:15-20

Verse 20: “For where two or three gather in my name, there am I with them.”

In this week’s gospel text Jesus addresses how to deal with conflict within the church. As followers of Jesus Christ we are not immune from being human. As such, we can hurt and even harm one another. For Jesus, this is a given. So in today’s passage he gives direction for how to lovingly deal with the inevitable.

Step one is personal – go to that person and explain how they hurt or harmed you. This will resolve most issues. If that does not bring healing to the relationship, the next step is to bring one or two people along as you again explain the offense. Often other perspectives help to work things out. And it is a check on our motives. If this too fails to bring resolution then we are to bring the matter before the church. There the collective wisdom and love of the body can be used to bring healing and reconciliation to the broken relationship. If even this step fails, then the final steps for the church is to exclude the offender from the body. This is not meant to be punitive. It brings awareness that such behavior is unacceptable and it invites the offender to introspection and repentance.

None of these four steps are easy. That is why Jesus continues in verses 18-20. Jesus first promises that if we follow these steps then our decisions and actions will be godly and just. Accordingly, they will stand both in heaven and on earth. How is it possible to be godly and just in the middle of conflict, hurt, and harm? “For where two or three gather in my name, there am I with them.” In the midst of our conflict resolution, if we ask Jesus into the conversation, he will be there. With Jesus Christ leading and guiding the efforts, what we ask for and the just resolution that we seek – “it will be done for you by my father in heaven.” What a way to approach conflict resolution!

Prayer: Lord God, when the inevitable comes, lead and guide us through those difficult times in the life of the community of faith. Be present in our thoughts, in our words, in our actions. Through the Spirit’s loving presence, guide us in mercy, grace, love, honesty, humility, and forgiveness, bringing unity back to the body of Christ. Amen.


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Humbly Turn

Reading: Psalm 20

Verses 1 and 2: “May the Lord answer you when you are in distress… protect you… send you help… grant you support”.

Returning to Psalm 20 today, we focus in on our need for God’s presence in our lives. To enter into the presence of God one must begin with a posture of humility. To recognize and admit our limitations and our inability to do all things opens space in our hearts to turn to the God who can do anything. This is what allowed David to enter the sanctuary to pray and to offer sacrifices. The focus of these actions was to align his heart with God’s heart, to check his own motives, to seek divine guidance. As decisions arise and as challenges come our way, a time of sincere prayer and soulful introspection engage God in the process.

The Psalm begins with a blessing prayer for our times of distress. It prays that the Lord will answer, protect, help, and support us in those times of hardship. David trusts that God will be there for him. His prayer reflects that same truth concerning all faithful people’s relationship with God. To trust requires belief, of course, but it also requires a willingness to submit to God’s will and ways. It places self behind the divine. Although to some surrender indicates weakness, to those who call upon the Lord, it provides access to the source of our true strength. God is the ultimate ally. In all things may we humbly turn to the Lord our God, trusting into his power and strength.

Prayer: Lord God, when I am weak, you are strong. When I am humble, you are glorified. When I am less, you become more. In all things, in all ways, make me obedient to you. Amen.


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Looking Up

Reading: Numbers 21: 4-9

Verse 7: “We sinned when we spoke against the Lord and against you. Pray that the Lord will take the snakes away from us”.

Photo credit: Carolina Jacomin

As the Israelites near the end of their journey in the wilderness they are tired, impatient, and irritable. Three weeks into Lent and perhaps a few of us grow tired of the themes of reflection and introspection. In the bigger picture, today the source of our weariness and impatience and irritability is the pandemic. As the Israelites grumble against God and Moses, they are expressing these emotions. They long to go back to what was. Tired of their current situation, they let go of their frustration via complaint. This is the fifth complaint story during their wilderness journey. God has had enough. God sends venemous snakes among the Israelites and many die. Consequences.

Like Jesus’ subversive actions in the temple, this response of God makes us feel a little uncomfortable. Our reality, though, is that we have been here too. We have had the tables turned over a time or two or… We have been bitten by our poorly spoken words or via our sinful actions. We too have experienced how the pain drives us to confession and repentance, to turning back toward God. As we look up to the Lord, just like the Israelites did, we find reconciliation and restoration and forgiveness. God is faithful and moves quickly to bring us back into right relationship.

Lent is a wilderness experience, a season of introspection and reflection. In that spirit, let us consider times when our actions have harmed or caused pain for others. Perhaps we are in the midst of such a time. What words spoken have caused harm? What actions have damaged relationships? What words left unspoken or actions left undone have allowed harm or pain to continue? To wrestle with these questions first requires a humble and contrite spirit. On Ash Wednesday we were reminded that this is the posture of Lent – a humble and contrite spirit. It is what leads to a new heart within us and to the place of healing that God so graciously offers.

The Israelites looked up to the reminder that God is in control, to the serpent fashioned by Moses. Today, we lift our eyes to our source of healing and hope, to the one who offers mercy and grace, restoration and wholeness – Jesus Christ. On this Lenten journey, may the God of love continue to sustain you and to give life, even in the wilderness.

Prayer: Lord of life, you are so gracious and merciful and kind. Your love is overwhelming, your patience without end. Just as you continued to walk with the Israelites, walk with me day by day. Reveal to me the ways that I have caused and do cause harm so that I can repent and become more like your son, the Christ. Amen.


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The Journey

Reading: Psalm 25: 1-10

Verse 9: “He guides the humble in what is right and teaches them his way”.

Photo credit: Jan Huber

Today’s Psalm is about the trust and assurance that King David has in God. David begins Psalm 25 by lifting his soul up to God. This is what we do in Lent – this season of reflection and introspection. David asks not to be put to shame by God or by his enemies and perhaps not by himself. David then asks God to “teach me your paths”. David wants to know God’s ways, to be guided by God’s truths. His heart desires a closer walk with God. This desire is a the heart of the Lenten season as well.

In verse nine David writes, “He guides the humble in what is right and teaches them his way”. Humility is an essential part of our journey. If we are not humble we can get caught up in the shame that comes with our failures and sins, especially when we internalize the shame. Humility reminds us that we are not perfect and that we do not have to live out our faith on our own. God’s Spirit and the Word and our brothers and sisters in Christ walk alongside us. Humility allows us to learn and grow, both from our mistakes as well as our successes because both are grounded in the goodness and steadfastness of God.

Just as life was for King David, our Lenten journey will not be one steady ascent to the pinnacle of Easter Sunday. While we hope to continue growing closer and closer and to be more and more like Jesus during these forty days, we will have setbacks and pauses. We are limited and imperfect. In verse ten we read, “All of the ways of the Lord are loving and faithful”. All. Each day of our Lenten journey may we keep these truths in mind, allowing them to guide and empower our journey together with God and with one another. May it always be so.

Prayer: Lord God, as I lift up my soul to you, refine it as you may. Teach me your ways so that I may faithfully walk the path to the cross. When I stumble, as I know I will, lift me up and set me back upon your path. Amen.


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Pleasing to God

Reading: Isaiah 58: 1-12

Verse 4: “You cannot fast as you do today and expect your voice to be heard on high”.

Photo credit: Jordan Wozniak

Today is Ash Wednesday. This is a great passage to consider as we prepare to journey into the season of Lent. The words of this Psalm are a wake up call to Israel and to all who approach their relationship with God superficially.

The ashes that we will place on our foreheads reminds us of our mortality. Ashes were used for this same purpose in the days of Isaiah. Remembering our mortality reminds us that we are finite, limited, imperfect. Today begins the season that culminates the Saturday before Easter Sunday. On Easter Sunday we celebrate Jesus’ triumph over the grave. In his resurrection we find our eternal hope. We are invited to walk through Lent as a season of preparation for that day. These forty days are a time of reflection, introspection, refining.

The people of Isaiah’s day were putting ashes on their foreheads, wearing sack cloth, bowing their heads to God. They were exhibiting all the outward signs of fasting. Today we can show up at church and have a cross drawn on our foreheads. We too can go through the motions. In our passage God’s people fasted, yes, but also continued to exploit the marginalized, to strike one another with “evil fists”, and to ignore the injustices and the oppression all around them. Verse four sums up God’s response: “You cannot fast as you do today and expect your voice to be heard on high”. We cannot come to church and go through the motions of worship or Bible study or youth group and then go out and live as the world lives.

In verses six and seven God shares the kind of fast that is pleasing to him. As fast pleasing to God changes our hearts and leads us to fight injustice, to set the oppressed free, to share food with the hungry, to give shelter to the wanderer, to clothe the naked. In Lent we are called to look within, to repent of our sins, our selfishness, our indulgences. Doing so we will come to have a heart focused on drawing God’s kingdom near.

Verse eight reveals what happens when God’s people turn towards him and become like him: “Then your light will break forth like the dawn and your healing will quickly appear”. May it be so.

Prayer: God of the brokenhearted, the oppressed, the downtrodden, the needy – lead me to the place of honest confession and sincere repentance. Make me aware of how I contribute to the pain and misery of the world and turn me from my harmful and hurtful ways. Kill in me all that keeps me from fully loving and serving you and all of my brothers and sisters in Christ. Amen.